Gone are the days when I’d wait patiently by the lobby of the ballet studio, the Cultural Center of the Philippines, the Folk Arts Theater or wherever my 2 girls performed piano, ballet, voice recitals or a choir performance. Ohh, how enthralled I was listening or watching them on stage! Tying their hair to a neat bun, dabbling with their makeup or lugging their costumes were now a thing of the past. Those were my stage mother years. My hubby thought I was this frustrated mother who used her girls as a tool for her unfulfilled ambitions. Haha. Funny. My maternal instinct sought to develop the God-given talents of my daughters. I cannot for the life of me, carry a tune or tap my toes so there were no ballerina or opera singer dreams.
The stage mother years span from the time Lauren was a precocious 4 year old painist till her early teens. Marielle, my second daughter , gifted with a singing voice, followed suit. The girls danced ballet , sang, played the piano but when they discovered the Manila Children’s Choir, they got hooked. Maybe because being with a group of kids was a blast. I even had my own “barkada” of stage mothers. As the mother of 2 minor children, I accompanied them to cultural exchange trips to the USA or Canada. Meanwhile, hubby whined that I constantly left him in the Philippines with my son. Feeling guilty, I resolved to curb these trips or at least train the girls to travel on their own. As we travelled , I gave pointers on airline , immigration procedures, packing, and basic travel .
The beaming stage mother with her daughters in Niagara Falls
In the summer of 2000, I announced to the girls that the Europe tour was cancelled because of a much needed family vacation in Cebu. Now this is where I constantly have regrets. See , if we were in Europe, we would not have gone to the beach resort. If we did not go to the beach resort, my precious son would have not died. Regrets! Regrets! How could a family day turn into this nightmare? Through the years, those regrets and guilt have been resolved. We just don’t know when death comes . It’s HIS master plan.
And so, my stage mother years ended in the year 2000 . However, the girls continued their singing performances and managed to travel on their own. In one of those trips, my daughter received the blessings from the frail Pope John Paul II in the Vatican. Then one day they realized they were too old for the children’s choir and quit.
It’s been 5 years now. Or so I thought!
A few weeks ago, Marielle sent me an urgent text message:
“I need hairpins, gel, fine tooth comb, makeup bag”
“I need it for the concert tomorrow.” I can sense the panic.
“and stuffing for the hairnet! My hair is too short”
She joined a chorale in the University of the Philippines during her second semester because she missed the singing and performing days. See! I was not a stage mother for nothing.
Whaaaaat? I will drive all the way to Quezon City just to bring those things? Blah blah blah. Yakkity yak!
She sweetly persuades me to concede , with an invitation to watch their show.
How could I resist? I’m still a stage mother. hehe.
My daughter is the one in white gown beside the girl wearing the orange terno.
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March 21st, 2006 at 9:52 pm
you must have been very proud
March 22nd, 2006 at 9:37 am
What talented kids you have! Which chorale did your daughter join?
March 22nd, 2006 at 10:14 am
Aww, you’re such a good mom. And an accomplished one to have raised such talented kids:)
March 22nd, 2006 at 10:36 am
Oh yes. Now that they are older, they refuse to sing when I want to hear their voices.
March 23rd, 2006 at 11:44 am
Wow! Your kids are so lucky to have a mom like you.
March 24th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
Such talented kids. I can sort of related to being a stage mother. My oldest son plays the flute and I also accompany him to these performances, recitals and competitions. But unlike you, our travels are limited within the city where we live.
March 26th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Congratulations for having raised those talented kids!
By the way, how did you cope with the “what if” question on going to Cebu instead of Europe? Is it through coming to a resolve that it is His master plan? Did at some point you develop a phobia of the word Cebu or Europe etc?
Thanks again…your blog is so nice to read!
March 26th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
Kleenexlambot: I didn’t want to visit Cebu for many years. The only time I went home was to bury my father (Cebu is my hometown)
June 27th, 2006 at 9:48 am
It must be wonderful knowing that you have actively helped your children find the proper directions they want to take in life. As you said yourself, you were not a stage mother for nothing. Hope I will also be able to do that for my girl. I am in that stage now where I can be found lugging bathing suits or ballet outfits, or dragging Abby to her voice lessons. Ha ha! that’s right! I have to drag her to it. Hope it will be worth all the trouble one day…
August 1st, 2006 at 3:33 pm
how lucky your daughters are, noemi, to have you as their mom.I too played the piano until college activities occupied most of my time. It was a pity that my mama was painfully shy, so she was not a stage mother. My dad was the stage father. He would get so wired up everytime we let slip that one of us was the recipient of an award or something.
I used to see stage mothers as busybodies, but now that I’m a mother myself,I plan on being one. Nothing wrong with being proud of our kids, right?
August 22nd, 2006 at 5:46 pm
[…] There are a lot of enthusiastic stage mothers around even if their children are in their twenties . I don’t blame them. A lot of these kids are quite successful in their field. Take for instance, Leo Salonga. Her mom tagged along during Lea’s performances until her mid twenties. This working arrangement probably worked well for them. My daughters chimed in that they would be totally embarassed if my reaction would be like that. A friend admitted to all of us that she is and continues to be a “stage mother” to her only son who graduated summa cum laude. My stage mother days is now a memory that I treasure. I’m glad I devoted those growing up years in nurturing their talents. It’s really fun watching your child perform. I can sit all day just watching them sing on stage. Even if I believe that my children’s achievement belong to them, I can’t blame stage mothers. They are proud moms. We never stop being a mother. […]
April 18th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
I’ve been bugging M to join a choir again
Hoping we can be apps at the same time.
April 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
[…] stage mother years was one of my most memorable days with my little girls. Those were the days when the mother in me […]