Recovery Principle 1: Acting As if
Starting today, I’m sharing some recovery principles that have worked for me. One of my favorite recovery tool is something I call “acting as if“. To practice the positive, I act as if. It’s a positive form of pretending. It’s a useful tool to use to get ourselves unstuck. For many years, I isolated from friends . During the rare social gatherings I attended, I forgot how to initiate small talk. It’s like friends or relatives talked to a blank wall. The only persons I socialzed were close family members. I realized the gravity of my people skills when I joined a parent’s group of my daughter’s colllege and I couldn’t say a word. I knew I needed to wake up from my zombie state.
I forced myself into positive recovery behaviors, disregarding my doubts and fears, until my feelings caught up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. I did not have to lie or be dishonest with myself. I acted as if I could speak up in public until I actually gained self- confidence and started to open up. When I started The Compassionate Friends, I was suddenly thrown into the media. The first interview and TV guest appearance terrified me. But how else will my mission get promoted? Acting as if I was confident enabled me to get through with these media exposure.
Now, when a problem haunts me, acting as if can helps me get unstuck. I act as if the problem will be or already is solved so I can go on with my daily routine. Today, I have opened up to the positive possibilities of the future instead of limiting the future by today’s feelings and circumstances.
Try to make a conscious decision to act as if you feel fine and are going to be fine.
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Filipina mom) and my journey to a "new normal" after the death of 
that’s an interesting concept. It’s positive thinking too.
hi noemi. i would like to thank you for being who you are.you have chosen heal not only yourself but also others going through such immense loss. a friend of mine belongs to TCF, i think courtesy of your invitation. thank you so much for that. i know that you and the other TCF mothers can do for her what we, her friends cannot–guide her and her family towards a healing point. bless you and your family and your precious, forever smiling luijoe
Jeff: Yes it’s positive thinking and not actually easy to do . Practice makes perfect
Lemon: thank you for your kind words. That’s true in our group, we need not walk alone because we travel the same road. It’s also good to read up on how friends can help comfort a bereaved. IT’s in our compassionatefriends.info website
duno why my message wont post but I did see your episode w/ ms ali,.. made appreciate my children and husband more, but i also cried with you and my heart ached for you,..
let me know if you are ready to start documenting your son life by scrapbook,.. its my passion, dont mind lending you a hand in starting one for your son.
joanne yap
Joanne: Comments are held in moderation till I approve it. Anyway, thanks for watching the ALI show. I am ready to start documenting my son’s life in a scrapbook. I just don’t know how and where to buy the materials. I want to take up your offer on “lending a hand”. I can also teach other bereaved mothers once I learn.