My 41 year old baby brother in Missouri (I still call him baby brother because I took care of him) wants me to be his wedding coordinator for a church wedding in the Philippines. My brother and his wife did not have a church wedding 14 years ago due to financial challenges. Now that he is a successful neurologist, he dreams of a marriage with God’s blessing. He has indeed been blessed through the years with 4 lovely children, a lucrative medical parctice and a devoted wife. I told him that weddings in the Philippines is not the same as it used to be. I started to look around for wedding fairs. The last time I attended a wedding bazaar was in 2004 for Lauren’s debut plans. Just looking at the prices for photography, venue, catering , cake and other perks for Lauren’s debut could easily cost 150,000 pesos ($2,500.00) at the least. My daughter dubbed it “A not so typical debut celebration” and happily, the total expenses were only 80,000 pesos ($1,500) for 100 guests. Divisoria is my friend. My brother was impressed that I coordinated a “sort-of-grandiose” celebration . But weddings are different! There are a 101 considerations. I told him that I would shop around for a wedding events coordinator who will coordinate with me.

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I have been tagged by Niceheart to list down six weird things about myself. Yet another meme.

So here are 6 weird things or habits about me. Beware I am obsessive compulsive in most of these weird habits.

1. I like my books to be arranged neatly in the bookshelves from tallest to shortest. Mind you, the books have to be aligned in a straight line too. Something like this

Actually, when I trained our helper to fix books from tallest to shortest , she did an even better job. I think she became even more OCD than me. Or was it she got contaminated with my obsessive disorder?

2. I want my bedspread carefully folded on the bed with very little crease. I have to pull it together with my other helper on the other end to attain an “ironed look”. I drive my daughters crazy by telling them to do this. I’ve since left them to fix their dorm beds the way they want it to be but at home, I end up pulling it for that “ironed look” when they are gone. Something like this:

I never used to have this strange habit but like number 1, my helper did a better job and I got hooked on that no-crease bedspread look.

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While on my way to Kay Warren’s Women Talk seminar, I pondered over her topic “How to be Joyful No Matter What“. Kay Warren is a two-time cancer survivor, a homemaker, and a pastor’s wife (the wife of Rick Warren, author of Purpose Driven life). Her favorite passage of Scripture is John 6:1-14 . In that famous passage, Jesus feeds 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish that a little boy offered Him. These verses confirm the truth that God uses ordinary average people to accomplish great things when their lives are totally surrendered to Him. It was God’s idea that Cathy give me tickets for the “Women Talk” yesterday so I could share it here.

Can life still be joyful even if one has experienced the worst nightmare any parent can have? What do I tell the bereaved mothers of The Compassionate Friends that life can be joyful inspite of the loss of their child. For newly bereaved, there are days and weeks that can drag on and on without any infusion of light and joy. Kay Warren defines joy as the , “The unshakeable assurance that God is in control of all the details in my life. It is the quiet confidence that ultimately everything will be alright; and the determined purpose to praise God in all things.” Some newly bereaved lose their faith in God . I too lost my faith in God. It’s all a matter of choices. It was my choice to be miserable early on in my grief journey. While listening to Kay, I knew I had to undergo so much pain to discover God again in my life. We can control our choices. I chose to surrender to God during my deepest darkest despair and that’s when I found joy back in my life. How? I didn’t know it then but Kay Warren best explains the practical ways on finding joy everyday.

1. Put the humor in Life.
2. Practice Gratitude
3. Choose to be a giver than a taker
4. Live in the moment
5. Find the “bless in the mess”

You can read more details of “How to be Joyful No Matter What“. in “Cathy’s entry.

So what do I tell the newly bereaved? I will tell them that life is full of choices. Grief is inevitable but misery is optional. Every day, each of us decides how to spend our time–each hour, each minute, each second. Do I spend those moments grieving? Not all of them. As the years go by, I find fewer moments of grief and more moments of joyful activity. Trust God that we are going to be joyful

1. Inspite of
2. In the middle of
3. Even if

Joy has returned to my life and to my home.

This image of a colorful fruit cart would normally be posted at my Photo Blog. There is one fear I have and that is the fear of heights. This photo calmed down my fear of heights temporarily. Fear of heights is a common and sometimes appropriate feeling. There are, according to psychologists, two natural fears - fear of loud noises and fear of heights. I don’t think I have acrophobia (severe fear of heights). It’s just that I feel woozy when I walk or drive past mountain roads, cliffs, windows overlooking the street floor. I cannot drive in the Tagaytay ridge without feeling nauseated. While strolling at the second floor of the Powerplant Mall, at Rockwell Center, I glanced briefly at the basement and saw the fruit cart. Nice! The pattern and colors of the tropical fruits were amazing but I suddenly felt dizzy. I didn’t dare look at the basement floor for fear of wretching and spewing vomit all over the basement. So I zoomed my camera and just stared at the LCD screen . *snap* Wonderful. I didn’t puke.

Home alone every lunch time is a routine I face during the week days. While the household is devoid of the girls’ babblings and pitter patter, the ghosts at the second floor pace restlessly. I turn on the TV to distract me from unwanted ghostly apparitions. At least I can hear human voices. While watching Korina’s talk show , the topic of the Philippine state of annulment caught my interest. In my husband’s family, 3 out of 6 siblings’ marriage are either annulled, divorced or separated. Take your pick. I won’t go through the reasons for their separation but I believed they gave it their best shot before resorting to legal action or no legal action. Once upon a time, I also considered separation but thank God for this second chance at love and a more meaningful marriage. Now I am just wondering how the Supreme Court junked Amy Perez’ annulment petition.

The Supreme Court denied with finality the petition filed by actress Maria Armida “Amy” Perez asking for an annulment of her marriage to estranged husband Brix Ferraris, ANC reported Thursday.

In an eight-page resolution, the high court said the psychiatrist’s testimony failed to prove that Ferraris was suffering from psychological incapacity under Article 36 of the Family Code. The court also ruled that alcoholism, sexual infidelity and abandonment are not enough grounds to declare a marriage null and void.

Is it just bad luck that Amy’s case landed in the wrong court? Or is it because the pyschiatrist’ testimony is inadequate? I thought it was easy to get an annulment as I have heard of favorable annulment decisions from friends. My ex-sister in law was able to get the court’s favorable decision in less than a year. Was it because she was a lawyer? The Supreme Court found Perez’s husband’s alleged mixed personality disorder, the “leaving-the-house” attitude whenever they quarreled, the violent tendencies during epileptic attacks, the sexual infidelity, the abandonment and lack of support, and his preference to spend more time with his band mates than his family were not rooted in some debilitating psychological condition but a mere refusal or unwillingness to assume the essential obligations of marriage. Is that so?

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Technorati Tags: annulment, marriage

The only reason we watched Regal Film’s thriller movie, The White Lady was because Joel Nunez (writer for the movie) is a batchmate of my husband at the College of Law. “Let’s show some support to my friend’s endeavor”, my hubby goes. After watching Sadako in “The Ring“, no other hororr movie beats it. Scary for means literally holding on to your seat. Inspired by the famous urban legend about the ghost that haunts Balete Drive, “White Lady” has been reinvented and relocated to some liberal arts school in UP Los Banos. There, the school’s most popular students meet horrific fates one by one, realizing that they are the target of a vengeful ghost. “The White Lady” plot was predictable for me and the “computer graphics” needed a bit more tweaking. Some of the animated CG’s came out too stiff. I’m so out of the loop when it comes to young Filipino movie stars. I recognized Boots Anson Roa only. This new half-Korean starlet, Iwa Moto had too much makeup for a school setting but she played the bitchy role to the hilt. Now I can’t imagine how college students could be so mean. The plot reeks of high school’s mean Queen Bees. The urban legend “White Lady” in Balete Drive seemed more spooky than this remake. However, if you’re looking for entertainment, the movie gave enough of that .

It’s a rare occurence for me to watch Tagalog movies. I think the last Filipino movie I watched was Cesar Montano’s Visayan movie, Panaghoy sa Suba. Being a Cebuana, the Visayan dialect brought so much childhood memories. Every scene flowed smoothly into the next, thus allowing audiences to further appreciate the film’s captivating cinematography. Much as I want to support Philippine movie industry, the plot is just not interesting enough to hold my attention. During the mid seventies, Filipino films were at its best. Remember, Lino Brocka’s Maynila: Sa mga kuko ng liwanag (Manila in the Claws of Light) in 1975? The movie was picked by 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, a fantastic resource for film lovers. That’s how excellent the movie is. The acting was not that remarkable, but the simple plot and storyline made each character as memorable as the next. Those were the days when the plot was character driven . Too bad, the Philippine Culture and Information official website did not classify the movie as “World Class Filipino Movie” (as of 1997).

In this new millenium, which movie classifies as world class Filipino movie?