Comments on: Pushing Family Buttons

By: Lorna Lardizabal Dietz

Lorna Lardizabal Dietz — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 08:08:46 +0000

continued…

Many of the US-born residents couldn’t pronounce my name. (Excuse me, I’m typing on the bed here in our Mr. Prospect, Illinois condo — so I keep inadvertently pressing “submit”)

So, I opted to use my married name.

During the 3rd Global Filipino Networking Convention in Cebu last January 2005, our family name took a place of honor when Loida Nicolas Lewis and President Macapagal Arroyo used my full name in acknowledging my work in coordinating this international convention in Cebu. At the Ayala Lagoon one night, President Arroyo thanked me — but she used my maiden name, Lorna Lardizabal.

That was music to my ears. It was the 25th anniversary of the Sinulog Festival — and hearing my maiden name instead of my married name signified that my father’s unsung contributions had just been honored that night amidst fireworks and a global celebration.

The three months that I stayed in the Philippines that 2004-2005 also led to another decision: On January 11, 2007, I decided to reacquire my Filipino citizenship.

Being a dual citizen makes me feel “whole.” I don’t have to be just an American anymore. I am a Filipina — and I am proud.

Your loving sister,

Lorna

By: minotte

minotte — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 17:23:01 +0000

when my husband and i ventured abroad, it was the 1st time he became independent of his parents. he worked for them, we lived in an apartment that they owned. though we seemed comfortable, it was an illusion because my in-laws had a way of making singil thorugh criticism, manipulation and inflicting guilt when we did not want to surrender our parenting and lives to them (!)

here, away from them, i saw my husband blossom, slowly gaining self-confidence, and he is supporting our family most directly. even if we are tight, i have never respected him more. now, we are free to be ourselves, are parenting more effectively, and most of all, reclaiming our true selves as adults.

oh, and guess what? my in-laws take it against me for taking their son so far away from them. and you are right, it’s really their problem now. . . (yipee!)

take care of your boundaries and keep blogging!

By: Noemi

Noemi — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 04:02:48 +0000

Abbie: it takes practice to put boundaries , to set limits to say NO or to be assertive. We grew up in a culture to respect elders but our elders come from the old school of thinking . So it’s difficult.

By: abbie

abbie — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:17:12 +0000

Ms. Noemi, I’m proud of you. In my case, until now, I haven’t still have the courage of discussing feelings with anybody, even my boyfriend and family. This still drives me crazy and even concludes sometimes to blame myself. I have yet still to learn that.

And as for family members, with me, I have learned to distance myself from them as I refuse also to “give in” to be bossed around. Perhaps they do mean well but still, I am capable of thinking for myself. Come to think of it, I am avoiding that issue too. I guess this is a sign. Thanks to this entry.