Sex Education in the Philippines
Posted by: Noemi in Current Affairs, Education, Kids, Parenting & Family
News Update (March 11, 2008)- Bishop, prolife group to challenge QC sex education ordinance in Supreme Court
What is happening to our sex education?
Is this a power struggle between the Catholic Church and our government? I will not talk about the political aspect of sex education in our country . Let’s look at this statement from Dr. Angelita Aguirre, head of Human Life International. (CBCP: Scrap sex lessons)
“The module should be scrapped. It does not have the emotional, psychological and spiritual dimensions of human sexuality. This is very important,”
“The code of morality is high. We are not pagans. We would like to pressure everybody indulging in a conjugal act to get married first,” she said.
Aguirre pointed out that the modules did not mention that a person had to get married before having sex.
As a concerned parent of two girls, I took an active role in teaching the basics of sex education. The high school that my daughter attended did not include sex education in their curriculum.Much as I want my 2 girls to get married first before having sex, this kind of sex education strategy (get married before having sex) does not make sense to teens these days. First of all, some Catholic schools instill fear of committing sin even on sexual feelings. Why can’t they explain about raging hormones instead of judging their feelings? It’s a confusing time for teenagers. Most often, these high school girls turn to their girl classmates for relationships. How many girl-girl relationships are occuring in all girl schools? Often, the school turns a blind eye because these relationships won’t induce pregnancy. Secondly, our teens are exposed to sexual images in magazines, TV, movies and the internet.
The issue of morality can be taught separately from sex education. Morality is taught in the Christian Living Education or its equivalent like Values Education.
God has a strong view of any kind of immorality, so we should try to err on the side of purity. For example, the apostle Paul said that the Church will be presented to Christ as a pure virgin bride:
“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)
My mother discussed sex openly with me when I was 15 years old. I knew the morality issue already and formed my own beliefs at that age. Mom didn’t have to go through the graphic details but what struck me was the responsibility of the sexual act. In the same manner, I discussed sex education with the 2 girls as “are you ready to have children?”
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When they blurted “NO WAY“, I added “Then you should abstain until you are ready“. My own definition of “readiness” is when one is married but I didn’t want to explicitly state that fact yet.
I continued “Don’t even believe your boyfriend when he says he has protection“.
They giggled. I gave a clear example of a family friend who got pregnant at the age of 18 because she thought she wouldn’t get pregnant at that age. Besides it was her first time.
Then I continued “just one tiny drop contains millions of sperm to impregnate you. It takes only 1 sperm cell, mind you!”
Then I proceeded to explain how the second daughter and Luijoe were conceived …and…
“ewww. I dont want to listen now”
I explained condoms, birth control etc are not fool proof methods of birth control.
We need to teach them responsible parenthood in consonance with the sex education. We don’t need to teach everything but at least give them the basic facts. Along the way, the children can do some more research on their own.
Phillipine Catholic Bishops Oppose Sex-Ed in Schools, Say it Should be Left to Parents is true if all parents know how to discuss sex with their children. We can’t assume parents know how to discuss sex openly. Some might be uneducated to understand the anatomy of reproduction and thus fail to grasp natural birth control methods.
The schools together with the parents can bridge the gap of sex education.
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July 21st, 2006 at 8:18 pm
teaching sex education is not only limited to getting pregnant and about being a parent. it also involves the danger of numerous diseases out there. STD’s, and AIDS. a lot of factors(feelings, responsibility, maturity, health, etc..) go with sex. aboloshing sex education in schools is not an option.
hi Noemi
July 21st, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Sex education is an extremely complex issue. I certainly agree with you when you say that many young adults can not understand WHY when they are simply told to have sex only when they get married. And the old “God will punish you if you have sex” method simply doesn’t work anymore. Nor do I think that it makes much sense. Kids need to be made aware that sex, just like so many other things has its consequences. There is unwanted pregnancy, as you’ve mentioned. There is also the issue of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. In both cases, teaching them how to use a condom is simply not enough (many STDs can be transferred through skin or oral contact). It is not actually just kids, but everyone that needs to be educated. And that is what will provide protection that is far better than what any condom or contraceptive can offer.
July 21st, 2006 at 10:11 pm
@dexie: yes the STD’s are definitely part of sex education. I am just so mad that the church is trying to influence the sex education
@allergyboy: true they have to be aware of the consequences. Parents and the rest have to be educated as well. It’s not limited to high school students.
July 21st, 2006 at 11:01 pm
So true, while we are not influenced much by ‘morality’ as defined by the church, sex is still a big issue especially for us who have daughters. I have three, two of them in their teens. They are bombarded by sexual messages from all sides of their life, and parents have to take an even bigger role now to provide them with balance. I want my girls to see their sexuality in a healthier light than I did, without all the misconceptions and guilt that came with it. It’s hard finding a balance between wanting them to be able to enjoy their sexuality without being ashamed of it, but also accept and be accountable to the responsibility that comes with it.
July 22nd, 2006 at 10:56 am
It should not be left to the parents alone. Take me for instance. I am fairly well-educated in the sense that i have two degrees in my belt, but i didn’t have a clue about the process of concepcion until my late twenties, when i took an active interest in that subject after i discovered that i had an infertility problem.
How much more for people, particularly in the rural areas, who barely finished elementary? And we’re only talking about the physical process here! How about the moral, psychological, spiritual issues? and the consequences like diseases and pregnancy? I am certain that most people barely got even the smallest briefing on these subjects! How can anybody expect them to teach these to their children when they themselves barely know a thing?
Even my own friends, themselves mothers, practically have no inkling on topics such as ovulation, etc.
Believe me, based on my own experience, except for doctors, only women having difficulty conceiving make the effort of understanding the process that goes on within their bodies! Most just take it for granted, that it just happens.. part of being alive, just like breathing.
As for the deeper issues, I took lessons when i was younger where i could get them.. sad to say, I got my values about purity, evils of unwanted pregnancy, etc. from comics and novels like barbara cartland and mills and boons:(
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:27 am
Especially in the Philippines, most parents are uncomfortable talking about sex with their children. A lot of them don’t know anything about the reproductive system. It should not be removed from the education system. I think it should be boosted to make it include all aspects… scientific, emotional, psychological, etc..
Noemi, the way you talked with your kids was so cute.
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:38 am
@JMom- Media is a great influence on our teens that’s why morality issue won’t work. We let them know that sexual feelings are normal part of their growth but that acting on it is another thing. That’s why we need to keep our teens busy with healthy activities i.e. sports, arts, etc
@Olga- See sex education should also encompass the parents. We didn’t have adequate sex education ourselves. The Catholic church has no business opposing sex education and worse, the government scrapping it.
@Toe- True. When I started talking about sex education to my girls, my husband was so uncomfortable. The education was not one conversation . My girl siblings and in-laws participated with this discussion in a light setting so that it didn’t appear we were teaching them.
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:06 pm
I have no opposition to sex education in schools. Actually, my kids’ school ask parents to sign an approval sheet if they want their children to participate in this. Because there are also parents here (just a few) who might not want this. I know my sister is one. We have very different views on this subject. So when it’s time for the sex education topic, her kids are left out, either sent to another room or the library. I have strong opinions about that but she is very religious and always sticks to what the Roman Catholic Church says. I don’t know if she talks to them about sex because she won’t even let them movies where there are just the slight touch of kissing. I think there’s nothing wrong with children seeing kissing on the movies, we just have to explain to them what’s happening and later on when they are older have the sex talk with them. I know she wants to protect her children from all these “worldly” things but they live and move around it, so I think they should be educated.
July 22nd, 2006 at 11:26 pm
@niceheart: My husband used to tell the girls (in their early teens) to “close their eyes” whenever there is a kissing scene. I would tell him to stop doing that and then I explain to the girls why they were kissing. You are right we have to explain to them whenever these scenes appear in the movies. To protect our kids from worldly things is natural for parents but we can’t be there 24/7 to see if they are watching or reading the right things.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:21 am
SEx Education is merely an outlet for those who want to get sex in their early age…
March 10th, 2007 at 3:26 am
Brief Background: I’m 18 years old very well educated about birth control, sex, STD’s, pregnancy everything. Lived in the Philippines for 17 years and migrated here in the US.
I completely understand how everybody here feels. As an only child and only daughter,my parents raised me in a very conservative environment where everything linked to sex is a taboo. My mom wouldn’t even let me see a kissing scene even at 15! The catholic church couldn’t just expect parents to teach their kids about sex because some parents just would not. Many of them try to avoid it. My parents didn’t even mention anything about it to me. Nothing.. They were just so lucky that I’m a really responsible person that I didn’t experiment during my very early teens years because if I did, I probably would have ended getting pregnant. I oppose to the Catholic church’s decision of banning Sex Ed at school because this is very important. A lot of them argue that Sex Ed will only lead to increased sexual activity, but I completely oppose. Even if we didn’t mention this things to them, sex is all over the place. In the internet, tv, movies, games, peers, everywhere. How wouldn’t some of them try it especially during the years of hormone surge. I believe that even if parents wouldn’t want them to have sex before marriage, some of them will still do. why can’t we just make them educated about it? so they can make more intelligent decisions. Through this, they will be more aware of the real consequences and know the real facts.
April 15th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
@Kristie- thank you for your point of view. You said it yourself. Some parents can’t do the job. Sex is such a taboo topic.
July 28th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Excuse me ma’am, but you can’t TURN INTO A LESBIAN or kids don’t “turn” to lesbian relationships to fulfill emotional needs, studies shown that being gay or lesbian is a non-changing attribute since birth, and cannot be changed, nor can it be “induced” nor can people be “converted” into a homosexual, they either are homosexual or not, period. Please educate yourself as well on that, thank you very much. God Bless.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:07 am
@RIC- excuse me RIC but read the entry carefully. I was not talking about looking down on lesbian relationships. I was talking about the school’s blind eye treatment.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Hi! By saying that the school turns a blind eye, you’re implying that the school should punish the girls involved in same-sex relationships, unless you just worded the sentence incorrectly.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:27 am
@ric- perhaps you do not understand this particular ultra conservative Catholic school I am illustrating. Not all Catholic schools are like this though.
They don’t turn a blind eye on girl-girl relationship but raise hell on girl-boy relationships. Equal treatment should have been their rule if they were for the morality issue. It’s an observation I noted and NOT my own conclusion.
August 8th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
sex education is nothing
August 18th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
sex education should not be taught to elementary students these days.. as every generation gets smarter the tend to become curious! and it will lead to something bad!
November 18th, 2007 at 6:32 am
I’m a filipina. and now lives in germany.
im 16.
well, my boyfriend don’t have a problem if we don’t do sex. BUT!
he said… sex is part of love.
well, my father is not against it.he just said.. if we want to do it, i must first ask him and mom to go see a doctor for pills
and i also must make sure my boyfriend use condom for safety from diseases.
sex is part of love, but i do really think one should do it once she or he is already ready. it doesn’t mean to really after marriage.
i am for sex after marriage. because according to philippine law. when the mate is anable to fulfill your sex thrills or can’t make you happy, one can file a case of annulment.
so better sex before marriage to have someone to compare than to make the mistake and that will cost more.
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
I’m making a thesis right now about sex education and i agree that sex education should be taught at school. Screw what the catholic church says. Though it’s true that sex education should start at home and be left for the parents to handle but this is just not possible for everybody. Some parents do not fully understand the whole concept of what sex is, physically, psychologically, emotionally, everything, some do not have the time, some are too conservative to talk to their children about sex and this will only leave their children clueless. Sex should be explained to teenagers, about its consequences and the responsibility involved. It is better for teenagers to have their sex education at school than from their peers.
January 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 pm
its very hard for a child to understand those things but i believe that having it taught properly may ease those you know….some child thought that sex is just a childish game but they are wrong sex is very complex so they need a proper guidance from older or even be open to their parents….and besides its the most appropriate solution that i can think.. and let’s just remind our kids to be aware of those things especially its very important.its better if they knew those things so they might well know what will happen if they made those things…….so parents pls.be more open to your child so you can guide them at the right path…..
January 30th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Hi Noemi,
Reading this post, I learn the good way to educate children about sex. Many parents avoid to talk about sex with their children. I do not agree with this because children will search from external source if they do not get from their parent…They might get wrong information from outside.
February 9th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I am a bit confused, it sounds to me that the government will be replacing the current program with a new one. i personally don,t think it is the governments responsibility to provide sexual education unless it is demanded by the majority of the governed, and if it is it should then only be optional. the real problem i have with the sex education in my country ,U.S.A. , is the fact that what my kids will be learning is subjected to the usually politically motivated biased opinion of the educator and state on what is moral in regards to sexual activity. at best public sexual education only needs to teach children the reality of S.T.D.s and that abstinence is the only way to ensure their prevention and the prevention of unwanted pregnancy. the homosexual agenda in this country is to normalize homosexual activity as a naturally occurring genetic trait that is part of human nature. this has been widely excepted by many people who know very little about genetics, as can be shown by an earlier post from RIC…
“Excuse me ma’am, but you can’t TURN INTO A LESBIAN or kids don’t “turn” to lesbian relationships to fulfill emotional needs, studies shown that being gay or lesbian is a non-changing attribute since birth, and cannot be changed, nor can it be “induced” nor can people be “converted” into a homosexual, they either are homosexual or not, period. Please educate yourself as well on that, thank you very much. God Bless.”
ironically RIC is the one who needs to educate her self and i will leave a link with articles and citations from the studies in question.
http://www.narth.com/docs/istheregene.html
http://www.narth.com/docs/fading.html
but it is because of this type of miss information that i would not allow my 3 daughters to attend our sex ed program here in the states.
another is the fact that most of the material given in these classes are provided by planed parenthood and is nothing more than a promotion for contraceptives. now lets face it your lucky enough to get your teens to be responsible with things like home work and chores do you really think they will be more responsible and dependable when it comes to sex and contraceptives. i am 26 …my wife is 25….we use the BILLINGS method of NATURAL FAMILY PLANING….this is not the rithom method and is just as effective as any contraceptive on the market to day…..just like the rithom method was at its time….google search the billings method for tons of info. my first daughter was conceived while my wife was useing the pill and my third daughter was conceived while useing spermicide …so go figure..
and on another note i would like to address such comments as…
Noemi :”I am just so mad that the church is trying to influence the sex education”
and
The Catholic church has no business opposing sex education and worse, the government scrapping it.
i would say to the contrary that the church has the right to oppose or influence any thing it wants to just like Noemi has the right to do so as well. i would allso say that is it is the verry business of the church to teach in matters of human natur and it’s origen …this is a subject that theoligy and phylosophy are the determining factors in every culture, and sex is part of human nature and its oregen. and further more the government can fund or not fund how it sees fit and as a citazen of any country we are all subjected to either majority rule or might. dont blame the church ….after all the pope isnt the one making the laws, its your government…and if government is influenced by the faith of its leaders this is still not a direct action of the church.
perhaps adult education is the best way to teach the children…..after all most of us are led by example ….and if the adults can take resposibility for there actions and the education of there own children perhaps the governments responsibility can be minamallized and more freedom will be alloted to the families through knowledge and incentives to gain this knowledge.
February 20th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I am a college student and we are having debate about the topic.
and my group got the against side of having sex education on high student in the Philippines.. The good thing is, I, personally against the sex education on high school because youth nowadays are very experimental in all things, they want to try everything so when you teach them the sex education without proper explaining and careful approach they will get curious so they will start to ask themselves and if didn’t got the answer from other people or if they did not satisfy with those answers they will search the answer on their own and try to do it..
February 20th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
sex education is a remedy for the main problem of our country(overpopulation). But sad to say, our church banned it because of the belief that our young people(especially the secondary students) still have a bud mind to this matter in which contrary to the reality.
February 21st, 2008 at 6:18 pm
on my view, sex education should now be taught in high school,
specifically for 1st and 2nd year.
and for the policy to be effective, it should be included in curriculum.
this shall exclude the issue on morality and religion.
the teaching personnel for this subject should not just be a teacher but a professional. (psychologist, social worker, and the likes)
the numerous incidents of teenage pregnancy and abortion is very alarming.
-we will be having debate on this matter that is why im researching.
February 26th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
ARE YOU SURE THAT IT IS THE LACK OF SEX EDUCATION THAT IS TO BE BLAME?IN MY POINT OF YOU IT IS THE MEDIA WHO IS TO BE BLAME. BECAUSE THE MEDIA EXPLOITS SEX IN A VERY PLEASURABLE MANNER. THAT EVERYONE WHO WATCHES IT WILL BE CURIOUS.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:41 am
hi. also leaving a comment to see if anyone bites, and as preparation for an upcoming debate… i actually think i know gie up there. i even think she’s my partner in this debate. =_=
anyway, going on topic…
i have considered a few points and personally decided that sex education (in school), in itself, is ineffective AND parental guidance (sex ed through parents), again in itself, in equally ineffective. obviously, what i am trying to say here is that sex education should encompass both the students/children and their parents. this answers two of the core problems sex education faces:
1. everyone is curious. as gie said, very few can control that curiosity. and school is not the place to let it sit. in fact, school is the worst place for curiosity. with peer pressure and barkadas and all.
2. again as mentioned in earlier comments, parents _need_ to participate. there is no denying the fact that parents are an essential key to the understanding process. however, some parents themselves did not experience correct and effective sex education, such that they find themselves in the same side of the boat as their children.
just for the sake of argument, a good example of implementing this proposition is for the children together with their parents attend seminars/workshops/lectures on sex education. we can say that both children and parents learn. parents, who are expected to be more mature (having experienced sex, and its consequences) on the topic, can guide their children on the spot and immediately give them the appropriate follow up information to support the knowledge given by the teachers. we can therefore assume that the children can be controlled and protected from possible misguidance from peers and friends at school. in fact, given that such events be held in school, these peers can be part of the whole learning process and simulate a better environment and motivation to discuss the issue in a serious way, even on their own.
and so this is my stand: sex education must encompass not only students, but their parents as well.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:05 pm
having sex education is good if taught to highschools for they have a more stablished mind than to the lower levels,however, teaching sex education in schools would be an avenue for students to try it since they have contraceptives to prevent pregnancy. Let us face it, even if teachers would say that they are teaching these that we may be enlightened, what they don’t knw is that they are just giving the students clues on what to do to prevent pregnancy. It further gives students ideas on what to do and how to do it.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
i’m a highschool student, from the phils. too, my principal ask me to do this poll about having sex education… I really don’t know anything about it, but i’ve read your reactions and based on it…
AGREE because…
more of us will be aware of it, and considering more consequences that’ll happen after having sex.
DISAGREE because…
more students would be curious of having sex education…
and they would probably try it using contraceptives…