No I haven’t watched Sukob but my daughter thinks it’s a more horrific film than The White Lady. Notice how the Philippine Movie industry is spewing Filipino film horror genre like its Asian counterparts? As the movie’s title (“Sukob”) states, the movie is about all the horrible things that happen when two siblings are married within the same year.
Well fellow bloggers, my sister B and I married on the same year, 1985. Another sister , M got hitched in 1986 and another sister, L in 1987. And guess what? We all encountered marital problems like most marriages. But how would I know it back then? The year 1985 was originally reserved for me. Oh yes, we had to book our wedding dates in advance as my father is overly superstitious. Dad was a typical traditional Filipino father. Also, we wanted to play it safe. M wanted to get married in 1985 as well but gave in to me because I was the older sister. Besides , Butch and I were already steadies for 7 years. M and her fiancee just met that year. M thought we should get the wedding date of May 1985. I had seniority and first priority. One day in October 1985, B suddenly announced her wedding plans for November 1985. M and I were furious.
How could you? Don’t you know one of us will have bad luck? I cried.
M protested “ I gave in to Noemi because I didn’t want both of us to be married the same year”
B argued “That’s just a superstition!”
Shock and disappointment was our initial reaction . B remained adamant. She pushed through with her wedding plans and got married in November 1985. My father forgot all about the superstition because he suffered a stroke a few days after my sister asked permission.
If B didn’t insist on marrying in 1985, her wedding date would have been slated for 1987. Imagine 2 more years. And L would have protested too. That’s what happens when there are 4 sisters in the family. How can one predict wedding dates anyway?
Twenty-one years later, my attitude towards superstitious beliefs changed. Superstitious beliefs are so negative and it means one does not even have faith in God. If one continues to foster negative vibes about marriage, then it will lead that way. I had to remove the “sukob” belief in order to lead a positive attitude of my married life. I have learned that a marriage is about imperfect people doing their best to nurture and minister in love. Caring, long-term commitment, integrity, togetherness and maintaining a positive focus are qualities of character that foster lasting love. God is also the center of our married life. He controls the details of our life and we lift our problems and plans to Him. Of course, I only knew this much later in life after much pain and trials.
Inspite of my initial disappointment, I learned to let it go. M forgot about it. May all the sisters in the world continue to live in love and understanding. Pooh “sukob”. It’s not true.
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August 3rd, 2006 at 8:51 am
right noemi, I planned to write about the negativity of superstitions after I have watched Sukob, which I havent’ had time to do this week. The minute I saw the repetitious ads of the film on tv, I and hubby shook our heads, muttering that “ayan, lalo pang maniniwala ang mga pinoy sa mga pamahiin, kaya tayo nagmumukhang mga mal-edukado sa ibang bansa.”
August 3rd, 2006 at 8:55 am
@lemon: I know it’s a really dumb superstition like most superstitious beliefs. After having many deaths in my immediate family, I’ve learned that only GOD knows the plan for us.
August 3rd, 2006 at 1:41 pm
What lovely sisters. I also don’t believe in superstitions but sometimes I follow them “just to be on the safe side.”
August 3rd, 2006 at 4:04 pm
@niceheart: I’ve learned to totally not believe in superstition but for a long time, I was intoit. My sisters and I get the chance to take a formal pic together whenever they are in town.
August 4th, 2006 at 5:18 pm
We’re four sisters too but we all married so far apart from each other.
But my two brothers married in the same year, 1993. It never bothered the family and they’re both happily married now.
Good for you that you’re junking the superstition. After all, the only true superstition is that it’s bad luck to believe in superstitions.
August 5th, 2006 at 3:34 pm
it’s not bad to believe in superstitions sometimes. there have been many phenomena which validates the veracity of these superstitious beliefs. nothing can’t be removed from us if we sometimes believe them.
August 24th, 2006 at 10:33 am
Many of my relatives are very superstitious, but I am not. They tell me this, that, and bad things will happen if I do this. In the past 2 years, their have been 5 deaths in my family. According to the sukob superstition no one can get married in that same year of a family death. The ratio of old people in my family versus young people are 4:1, so should any of them pass away of natural causes or for any reason the younger generation would be waiting roughly 20 years before anyone can get married.
I find superstitious beliefs such as sukob to be so irrational that you stop living altogether out of fear that something may happen. And some people are just happy to blame curses for the bad things in their lives instead of taking responsibility and action for wrong decisions made.
Just a thought…if you were from a family of say 5 or 6, and your partner was also from a large family, it would probably take 25 years for all of them to get married, especially if your partner’s siblings’ partners are also from big families.
My thought of this sukob superstition is that it probably originated from a family of more than 3 children who could not afford more than one wedding in one year, so they came up with the excuse that it is bad luck for siblings to marry in the same year so they could actually save up a whole year for the next wedding.
October 7th, 2006 at 1:19 am
Yup,Abbie’s right. In an agricultural culture such as ours, celebrations are usually reserved in the harvest months (which of course only occur once a year). If there are two weddings in one year, either yung isa mas bongga o yung dalawang weddings hindi ma-gara dahil kulang ang harvest money. So it’s best to only have one huge party. Kaya lang nagiging bad luck kasi kung may extra event, syempre wala ng pera yung family after! =)
But with modern times and the couple, instead of the parents, usually paying for their weddings, hindi na ito valid superstition!
November 9th, 2006 at 7:27 am
kung hindi natin aalisin sa isipan ang salitang malas
kailan tayo aasenso…mismo sa sarili natin dapat umpisahin ang huwag maniwala sa mga sabi-sabi dahil dito natin masusubukan kung gaano tayo katatag sa sarili nating pagsisikap.
ang dami sa ibang bansa ang kinakasal na magkakasabay sa isang taon..pero imbes na maging malas ito..lalo pa silang gumiginhawa dahil wala sa isipan nila ang salitang SUKOB kaya walang malas na nangyayari sa kanila.
i know walang mawawala sa atin kung dapat nating paniwalaan ang salitang SUKOB…pero lalong walang masamang mangyayari sa atin kung ang tanging paniniwalaan natin ay ang salita ng DIYOS.
think about it!!! the more we believe the more it happen…
so imbes na maniwala tayo kung kani-kanino or kung ano-ano…mas maniwala na tayo na may DYOS na laging nagbabantay at gumagabay sa ating lahat..minsan may nangyayari sa ating buhay na hindi nating gusto at nasisisi natin ang iba..pero kung iisipin natin baket nangyari ang isang bagay na di natin gusto…kase dahil na sa atin mga kamay ang galaw..wala sa ibang tao at wala sa mga paniniwala…GOD gave us freedom to choose…Freewill kung baga!!!
November 21st, 2006 at 3:09 pm
thanks for writng this. i’m getting a lot of pressure from my parents and a really bad attitude from my sister (after she watched this movie) who’s also getting married in 2007.
i never heard of this superstition before until last saturday when my sister called me afer watching the movie and demanded that i change my wedding date. she was really mean and condescending about it. i was shocked becuase i can’t believe i’m going thorugh such pressure just because of a movie and a ridiculous belief.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:14 pm
No Bad luck is true i believe in Sukob because my two tita’s have been sukob.Plano naman ksi ng tita “M”n doong taon ang kasal eh nung nalaman niya n ikakasal rin pla ang kapatid niya nang taon n yon at naalala niya n namatay nga pla ang kapatid niya eh di siya naniniwal s pamahiin pinayuhan sila n wag n ituloy ang Kasal dahil SUKOB nga daw aywa pumayag ni tita “M” at ayaw pumayag ng Kapatid niya dahil may tanim n ang buhay ng asawa niya d n siya aabot ng isang taon gusto lng niya makasal at sbi p niya na its just a pamahiin its not true daw kya yon
Tapos pagkatapos ng Kasal namatay ang asawa ni Tita “M” dahil inatake hindi lng yon after one week p maagang namatay ang asawa ng kapatid niya dahil may cancer s atay at d p don nagtatapos nasagasaan p ang nanay nang magkapatid!!! bibili siya sana nang gamot dhil masakit ulo niya dhil namatay ang asawa ni Tita”M” eh nasagasaan pa yon maskit s kanila ang nangyari s kanila at di llng yon ang karanasan ko nman nong recess nmin s school nkapulot ako ng coin 10 peso coin ayoko kung kunin dhil hndi heads ang nasaharap kung hindi s likod pero kailangan k tlaga nang pera kya kinuha ko yung pera pagkatapos tinitingnan k yung pera nang nadapa ako dhil d ako tumitingin s dinadaanan ko at nadapa ako natapon p yung sunkist ko s Libro k kaya n basa pagkataos ko makatayo nkita ako nang kagalit kong kaklase at inaaar ako dhil ang dumi n daw ng yuniporme ko ksi nga nadapa ako
yon ang malas Yun lang haha TY pero d s ganon n d k po nirerespeto ang paniniwala niyo bsta kayo mag decide BYE!!!!!!!!!!!! And also I really Believe In GOD!!!!!!
April 7th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
My opinion, its all about what you believe in. Superstitions…. Its like praying. What have you got to lose?