A primetime show in Channel 7 invited me and my husband to appear for their Christmas episode. The production staff were so visibily touched by Luijoe’s story that they practically read the whole website. This TV show will portray how a bereaved couple celebrated Christmas without their loved one. I’ve noticed how grief is not a taboo subject in our local TV or magazines. Just a few years ago, the only grief article you will read in our local papers are by Cathy Babao-Guballa. I turned down the invitation because there are other touching stories from a lot of bereaved parents. I referred the production staff to a newly bereaved couple. This parent whose adult son died a year ago on a December month will be featured for that Christmas epsidoe (I will announce the schedule of the show later on). I can talk all I want about The Compassionate Friends, our local grief support group and how it helps bereaved families but it won’t have an impact unless a parent actually shares on how the group has helped them with their grief journey.

The parent didn’t believe in sharing her grief. Grief is a private matter, they thought. She didn’t even want her deceased son’s visitors to cry during the funeral. They were fine for a month or so until they could not handle their pain anymore. One day they read our article in the Sunday Inquirer . They cut the article and pinned it to their bulletin board. Looking at the pinned article everyday for two weeks, they finally found the courage to contact us. The rest is history.

Today marks the first year anniversary of The Compassionate Friends Philippines. Co-founded by Cathy, Alma , myself and our spouses, we continue to bring monthly meetings to newly bereaved or seasoned grievers.

A year ago, when I first told my eldest daughter about The Compassionate Friends, she seemed worried ” So what will you be doing? Talking about your dead babies?”

My other daughter asked “Won’t you get depressed hearing sad stories?”

I stopped and thought for a minute… it is incredibly sad to hear the stories of loss and pain, but it does not depress me. I ache for those families whose loss is more recent, where the pain is a heart savagely torn into raw pieces and where the pain seems relentless and like it will last forever. But I am further along in my grief journey and I have gone through so much pain that I have learned my lessons well. I don’t know how I made it this far . I don’t know how I kept my sanity, through the past years when there were no grief support around. I know for certain that my grief journey, as hard as it has been, was made easier, and my burden lighter, through the grace of God. He was the one who enlightened me to start this support group.

Making sense out of my son’s death was the only way to understand the “why’s”.

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The two girls arrived home last night due to the upcoming storm Reming but they were craving DOUGHNUTS. “Uh not now dears. It’s late! ” I promised to buy them Krispy Kreme Doughnuts by waking up early for their Opening Day. Well, today is the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Opening Day at the City Center, Global City. Bringing my mug of coffee to perk me up , I drove over to the City Center at 6:30 AM. There were like hundreds of people crazier than I am who dared to wake up early just to order the first batches of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

Krispy Kreme staff were gracious enough to hand out retro caps, raffle coupons and a brochure to lift our sagging spirits and knees. Music and a dance number entertained the tired and hungry. The police, police dogs, security guards , ambulance and the fire men were on their toes,hovering among the crowd of eager customers. Would someone be crazy enough to create a stampede? They promised to open the door by 8:30 am. US Ambassador Kristie Kelly and Congressman Alan Cayetano cut the ribbon which officially launched Krispy Kreme Doughnuts in the Philippines. I didn’t catch the name of the lucky first customer who won a free supply of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. It was my secret wish to win one of the raffle prizes but alas, it was not meant to be.

Finally, at 10:00 AM, I entered the Krispy Kreme Doughnut store. Since I already tasted the “Melt in your Mouth” original glazed doughnuts, I ordered two dozen Assorted Krispy Kreme Doughnuts (335 pesos for a dozen). I have no intention of going back in the next few weeks so might as well order all the doughnut varieties. With the hundreds of people in the city center, Krispy Kreme did a pretty good job of organizing the smooth flow of customers in and out of the shop. There were hundreds and hundreds of doughnuts to be sold. Even Go Nuts Donuts could not cope with the influx of orders when they first launched a few years ago.

After all that hassle and waking up early to be one of the first 500 customers, was it worth it? Not really. As consolation, I ended up with:

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Updated- View the 2008 Starbucks Planner

I kept getting these text messages from my daughter, M the past two weeks now “Don’t forget to order starbucks coffee”. Yesterday another text message came “I need 13 more stickers and I get the starbucks planner. whee” I showed the text message to a friend. My friend smirked “My two daughters are also crazy over their planners. I am looking for the supplier so I will just get from them”. Curious over these planners, my friend and I transferred over to the Starbucks Coffee just to take a look at the sample planner. Flipping through the pages, it’s no wonder my daughter is crazy enough to drink starbucks coffee to avail of it. Inside the pages are really cutesy keepsake envelopes. The planner seems like a mini scrapbook of sorts to hold in precious mementos. I can’t possibly drink 13 cups of coffee! Even if I could afford to drink Starbucks coffee every single day, it’s boring. Drinking in coffee shops is something I do once a week or whenever I meet a client. With this rate, it will take 3 months to complete the 13 stickers.

I don’t want my daughter to starve and use her allowance to buy coffee.

Starbucks really knows how to increase their sales this Christmas season. Obviously they are targetting the young crowd. I told my daughter that I couldn’t possibly drink all that coffee but I ‘d increase her allowance for the next few weeks . I considered the costs involved.

The planner needs 21 stickers (9 are for Starbucks featured Christmas beverages while 12 for Starbucks beverages of your choice). The cheapest price for regular drink is 80 pesos (I think) so that’s 960 pesos while Christmas drinks at 125 pesos minimum 1125 pesos for a total of 2085 pesos ($42) to complete the 21 stickers. How expensive. Looking at the bright side, Starbucks Christmas tradition is not just about increasing sales. They are in partnership with UNICEF’s SparkHope project . Acutally the thought that one is helping a cause makes the expense a little bit worthwhile. Let’s see how this works.

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What a coincidence to bump in to two of my fellow Ateneo parents from ASPAC (Ateneo School Parents Council) at our favorite desktop publishing shop in the UP shopping center! All of us were there for desktop publishing request. Somehow, we all were involved with Christmas projects. Mine was a tarpulin job order request for the Compassionate Friends’ 10th Worldwide Candle Light Project this coming December 10. My other friend had a feeding program. Rose showed me a wad of brochures for her latest project from Rotary Club, “Grant a Christmas Gift Wish” project. “Maybe you want to grant a wish of a less fortunate child?” I told her “you know I support projects like this.”

“Just choose and sponsor a child for 200 pesos and the child’s Christmas Gift wish will be granted”

There were so many children to choose. During my brief shadow grief moments ,when I miss my Luijoe, I tend to search for a 6 year old or 13 year old boy (Luijoe would have been 13 years old this year) . I feel that Luijoe lives in little boys too, protecting or guiding them. Maybe I imagine things or overreact to a situation. One time I was at the grocery with my husband. A bouncy 6 year old boy wearing white sando was all over the place. “Hmm gosh, he acts just like Luijoe”. The cute boy who was running from the other end, suddenly stopped in front of me and gave me an impish smile. Looking at the adorable boy, I smiled at him but off he went romping around the next aisle. “sigh” I thought…maybe my angel lives in him. I shrugged it off.

My husband caught up with me a few minutes later. “A little boy just tugged at my shirt and handed me the car keys I dropped. I wasn’t even aware that my keys fell off my pockets”. I asked “was it a hyperactive boy with the white sando ?” My husband looked surprised “How did you know?” Holding my husband’s hand, I told him the same boy stopped me on my tracks. Signs like these are very uplifting.

When Rose handed me the list, I took it as a sign from heaven, a sign from my son. As I looked over the photos and names of the children, I finally chose a 6 year old boy . His Christmas gift wish was a pair of rubber shoes. I told my friend that the boy might need a new set of clothes aside from the rubber shoes.

Rose added “I know this boy . Poor boy, he sleeps inside the cemetery. He’s part of my feeding program.”

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Once upon a Christmas season, a mother baked Gingerbread Men cookies to the delight of her three children who eagerly waited for the cookies to bake. The waft of molasses, cinnamon and spices excited them. “We’re hungry, mom!”. The mother told them to be patient and promised to read them the Story of the Gingerbread Man as soon as the cookies were baked.

She got three cookies and laid them on a platter.

“Can we eat the Gingerbread Man now?” The children tugged at their mom’s apron.

“Let’s read the Gingerbread Man story first so you know the legend…” the mother said and left the platter of cookies on the table. The three children and the mother huddled around the Christmas tree as she began to read…

Once upon a time a little old woman and a little old man lived in a cottage………
The little old woman and little old man were very hungry and wanted to eat the gingerbread man. As soon as he was cooked, the little old woman opened the oven door. The gingerbread man jumped out of the tin and ran out of the open window shouting, ‘Don’t eat me!’……..

The mother continued on until the end where the fox ate the Gingerbread Man.

“Did you like the story?”

“It’s sad that the fox ate the Gingerbread Man in the end. Can we now eat the Gingerbread Man Cookies? We’re not like the sly fox.” The children discussed among themselves.

“Sure…get your cookies on the plate.”

The three children turned to the platter…”Mom, look… the Gingerbread Man jumped out of the plate. He’s gone. ”

The mom looked surprised “Maybe he ran away… Let’s look for the Gingerbread Man”

The three children looked all over the house until each of them found their Gingerbread Man hidden in their toy chest.

The kids beamed with laughter “Silly Gingerbread Man. The fox will eat you anyway. Don’t run away now.”

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(ME,Jove, Bridget, Jher, Patty and Pamy who took the photo)

A meeting of Philippine Idol bloggers just before we went inside the theater. Jove Francisco (to my right), a popular Philippine Idol Blogger and ABC reporter told me that Philippine Idol bloggers built up Philippine Idol’s popularity. Maybe it’s true that bloggers contributed to the popularity of Philippine Idol. I remember when I first blogged about Philippine Idol. There were not many readers reading my Philippine Idol entries compared to recent entries. I notice that commercial breaks are getting longer indicating that there are more advertisers. The presence of celebrity guest in tonight’s show compared to the past show a vote of confidence for the Philippine Idol shows.

Tonight’s Big Band Night was such a refreshing change. Philippine Idol felt so alive and exciting. The top 4 Philippine Idol finalists sang songs from the Big Band Era. The elegance of the production design and the songs made me want to dance with my husband. I am such a sucker for old standard music. It might seem boring to the younger crowd but it’s soothing and relaxing. Big bands makes all music sound great.

Gian measured up to the international standards of Big Band music. He was meant to sing this kind of music. I am not too confident if Mau can warm up to western audiences during the competition of a “World Idol”.

Who will be Philippine Idol’s Top 3? My prediction is:

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