Finding the Compassionate Friends
A primetime show in Channel 7 invited me and my husband to appear for their Christmas episode. The production staff were so visibily touched by Luijoe’s story that they practically read the whole website. This TV show will portray how a bereaved couple celebrated Christmas without their loved one. I’ve noticed how grief is not a taboo subject in our local TV or magazines. Just a few years ago, the only grief article you will read in our local papers are by Cathy Babao-Guballa. I turned down the invitation because there are other touching stories from a lot of bereaved parents. I referred the production staff to a newly bereaved couple. This parent whose adult son died a year ago on a December month will be featured for that Christmas epsidoe (I will announce the schedule of the show later on). I can talk all I want about The Compassionate Friends, our local grief support group and how it helps bereaved families but it won’t have an impact unless a parent actually shares on how the group has helped them with their grief journey.
The parent didn’t believe in sharing her grief. Grief is a private matter, they thought. She didn’t even want her deceased son’s visitors to cry during the funeral. They were fine for a month or so until they could not handle their pain anymore. One day they read our article in the Sunday Inquirer . They cut the article and pinned it to their bulletin board. Looking at the pinned article everyday for two weeks, they finally found the courage to contact us. The rest is history.
Today marks the first year anniversary of The Compassionate Friends Philippines. Co-founded by Cathy, Alma , myself and our spouses, we continue to bring monthly meetings to newly bereaved or seasoned grievers.
A year ago, when I first told my eldest daughter about The Compassionate Friends, she seemed worried ” So what will you be doing? Talking about your dead babies?”
My other daughter asked “Won’t you get depressed hearing sad stories?”
I stopped and thought for a minute… it is incredibly sad to hear the stories of loss and pain, but it does not depress me. I ache for those families whose loss is more recent, where the pain is a heart savagely torn into raw pieces and where the pain seems relentless and like it will last forever. But I am further along in my grief journey and I have gone through so much pain that I have learned my lessons well. I don’t know how I made it this far . I don’t know how I kept my sanity, through the past years when there were no grief support around. I know for certain that my grief journey, as hard as it has been, was made easier, and my burden lighter, through the grace of God. He was the one who enlightened me to start this support group.
Making sense out of my son’s death was the only way to understand the “why’s”.
Krispy Kreme staff were gracious enough to hand out retro caps, raffle coupons and a brochure to lift our sagging spirits and knees. Music and a dance number entertained the tired and hungry. The police, police dogs, security guards , ambulance and the fire men were on their toes,hovering among the crowd of eager customers. Would someone be crazy enough to create a stampede? They promised to open the door by 8:30 am. US Ambassador Kristie Kelly and Congressman Alan Cayetano cut the ribbon which officially launched Krispy Kreme Doughnuts in the Philippines. I didn’t catch the name of the lucky first customer who won a free supply of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. It was my secret wish to win one of the raffle prizes but alas, it was not meant to be.
Finally, at 10:00 AM, I entered the Krispy Kreme Doughnut store. Since I already 
I kept getting these text messages from my daughter, M the past two weeks now “Don’t forget to order starbucks coffee”. Yesterday another text message came “I need 13 more stickers and I get the starbucks planner. whee” I showed the text message to a friend. My friend smirked “My two daughters are also crazy over their planners. I am looking for the supplier so I will just get from them”. Curious over these planners, my friend and I transferred over to the Starbucks Coffee just to take a look at the sample planner. Flipping through the pages, it’s no wonder my daughter is crazy enough to drink starbucks coffee to avail of it. Inside the pages are really cutesy keepsake envelopes. The planner seems like a mini scrapbook of sorts to hold in precious mementos. I can’t possibly drink 13 cups of coffee! Even if I could afford to drink Starbucks coffee every single day, it’s boring. Drinking in coffee shops is something I do once a week or whenever I meet a client. With this rate, it will take 3 months to complete the 13 stickers.
What a coincidence to bump in to two of my fellow Ateneo parents from 
Tonight’s Big Band Night was such a refreshing change. Philippine Idol felt so alive and exciting. The top 4 [tag]Philippine Idol[/tag] finalists sang songs from the Big Band Era. The elegance of the production design and the songs made me want to dance with my husband. I am such a sucker for old standard music. It might seem boring to the younger crowd but it’s soothing and relaxing. Big bands makes all music sound great. 
Shopping with my daughters is always an opportunity to bond with them. Stress and worry from schoolwork sometimes makes it difficult for them to really talk to us. When I ask how they are , a usual reply is “okay lang”. I sometimes wonder if that means they are ok or they don’t feel like talking about it yet. When I notice a little downtime, I treat them to shopping or a rejuvenating spa. I suggest “Do you want to go shopping or need a massage?” More often than not, the sparkle in their eyes show that they appreciate this gesture. So this is what I told L . “Since you have no classes on Thursdays, maybe we can shop in Divisoria” . 
One unusual trait with L is her frugal nature. As a daughter, she is 
Isn’t it silly that a mother is practically telling her daughter to splurge a little more on clothes? 
The crowd at 9:00 AM was hampering our movements especially in the first floor. I bought two handbags and I could barely walk down the crowded aisles. Moving around was difficult. L bought a dress worth 250 pesos , a pair of shoes worth 200 pesos and a few belts and accessories. After buying my gym outfits, I discovered I could not continue shopping . (TIP: bring an assistant to help you carry the load) . We carried shopping bags that we could barely hold on to.
“What’s wrong Kylee?”, I knelt down and asked L’s [tag]Siamese cat[/tag]. I was about to step into my car the other day when I caught a furry ball on the rear tire. Kylee’s blue eyes shot me a look of despair. See, Kylee sits beside me in another chair at my office . That morning, my husband raised his voice over a family matter. Terrified of my husband’s raised voice, Kylee scrambled out of my office. 
[tag]Krispy Kreme Doughnuts[/tag] arrive in Manila. Sort of. A dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts were delivered at my doorstep today. What will I do with all these golden glazed doughnuts? I called up my daughters at the dorm if they wanted Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. “Of course, send it over”, my daughters yelled. “We will microwave it here”
I haven’t tried their favorite method of eating doughnuts aka microwave style. Maybe it’s the warmth and soft texture that adds to the pleasurable eating experience. Doughnuts are their number 1 comfort food. The 12 golden glazed doughnuts look perfectly glazed. Glazed doughnuts of Dunkin Doughnuts or Go Nuts look sloppily glazed to me. Hehe, there goes my compulsive-obsessive nature. 
Of course, we accepted her for who she is. It’s just people like old school [tag]Philippine Idol[/tag] judge, Pilita Corales who insist on seeing her wear a dress. Forunately , Lea Salonga is more open minded and advised Pow that a dress doesn’t suit her. But Pow was game, she wore a dress for her movie clip (View 
A month ago, I bought a new digital camera, a