When Kids Hear Their Parents having Sex

Parents, are you sure your kids don’t hear you when you are having sex?

I came across Lauren’s forum a few years ago on “have you heard your parents having sex” and their thoughts on their parents having sex.

We learn a lot from our children. It never occured to me that our kids think we have no sex life. Just because we have reached our 40’s doesn’t mean sex life is over. I found their candid answers quite helpful and amusing. Remember, these are teens’ opinions from all over the world.

The forum question was:

I have never heard my parents have sex, and I’m pretty sure they don’t anymore. What about the rest of you? Do you ever hear them?

The replies from Lauren’s online friends who were then in their teens:

1. No. hehe. But I think it’s sweet that parents still have that passion and affection for each other.

2. I think it’s horrid enough hearing them talk about it…

3. i don’t really want to imagine parents having sex. but i hope that when i reach their stage, i would still have sex. it sucks to have no sex life.

4. Oh Lordy… I have walked in on my dad and my mom…a few years later.. I walked in on my dad and my stepmom..and I’ve heard them many, many… MANY times. There should be a law or something..

5. I’ve heard them before, really shouldn’t sleep in the bedroom right beside theirs…

6. lol. well, i would be glad that they still have sex. it’s so good they’re so loving. but i really don’t want to think about it.

7. as their kids, there are some things we just don’t need to know! and it just seems perfectly fine when we do it, no?

8. we have double standards when it comes to sex.

9.Never heard them.
Never walked in on them.
Never want to.

I’d like to thank the people who made our walls as thick as they can be for having never experienced such a horrific thing. And I knew my parents were having sex because there’s a 12 year gap between me & my next sibling!

10. I walked in on my mom and dad…and I saw more than any child should. I have walked in on my mom and step-dad as well. Funny thing is…I’ve only walked in when they were making babies in the living room. I still have the scars. Oh, and I’ve heard them a few times to. So yeah, I know my parents are still “active”.

11. i hope i’ll still be living a life full of passion and romance at that age. i wouldn’t want to be all dried up like some grandmas.

12. No, my mother and father aren’t very affectionate. And my mother sleeps with my younger brother rather than my father. sheesh. I don’t want to witness the act, but they could at least treat each other like they’re actually a couple, no?

13. i don’t think my parents do it anymore either. but one time when i was younger, i swore i caught them one saturday morning because i just busted into their room to go sleep next to them.. but i think i’m blocking that memory into some dream i had or something, haha.

14. I used to hear them .. when I was little. Not anymore. On a popular radio station called K92.. well.. popular over here… They had a special called, “Grandparents Do IT To” it was halarious.

15. I ‘ve heard it. No big deal. Frankly I’m more disturbed when I don’t hear anything. My parents aren’t aliens and I like to be constantly reassured of that fact.

16. Yes I have it was embarrassing they obviously didn’t know I was home. It was horrible my mom was talking really dirty.

17. I’ve heard my dad and my stepmother but never my mom and stepfather. I was going downstairs in the middle of the night to get a magazine I had left and I over heard them and I just scurried upstairs before anything more happened that I didn’t want to see or hear. I laughed to myself though thinking… dad still has it going on… good for him! LOL

Besides, there will be pleny of payback when I bring my girlfriend/wife home for the holidays some time in the future.

18. Nope, never heard my parents doing it…. They probably do it when I’m not around.

Now it’s my turn to say my piece on this. First of all, I don’t think my kids have ever heard us having sex. Reply number 18 is more like it. Hehe. Second, the only encounter close to sex was when 14 year old Lauren overheard her dad say to me “it’s been awhile since we ****” (that four letter word verb…shocking) . Lauren was on her way to my room at that time. I forgot my reply to Butch but I hope I wasn’t talking dirty. Not knowing she overheard her dad, I wondered why she pushed the door and tugged my hand , “Let’s now go to the salon”. Then at the salon, “mom it’s really traumatic to hear dad asking you to have sex”.

I just had to laugh “at least we are still loving to each other. Don’t you like that?”

Lauren pouted “it’s very disturbing. Sex is for young people”

I smiled “Sex is a loving expression for couples, young and old. Especially married couples. Just learn to be cautious when you approach the door to our room”

I often wondered why my parents required us to knock at their door. Now I realized that they also had an active sex life.

Yes children (as I know I have young readers), your parents still have an active sex life. How active? It depends, of course. Just because we are reaching 40 or 50 does not exempt us from having a healthy sex life. And the older one gets the better it becomes.

I know “ewww.” *nods*

What have I learned from their replies?

1. Parents, it’s fine to espouse sex education to our kids, if you’re comfortable with the topic.
2. Sex education doesn’t mean talking about our sex life to them.
3. It’s alright to show affection to our spouse . At least our kids know we are loving to each other.
4. It’s not okay for our kids to hear us having sex. We have to learn to lock our doors or ensure thicker walls to our rooms, and other privacy measures as some kids can get shocked.

This post was inspired by Dine aka Sexy Mom based on a conversation we had yesterday at iBlog 3 that sex is still a taboo topic.

Technorati Tags:

Filed under: Marriage



You can also get Email Updates of any new posts by adding your email address below:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

If you enjoyed this post, then make sure you subscribe to my RSS Feed.

The comments posted on my blog are moderated. I reserve the right to remove comments, words or phrases that are defamatory, abusive, incite hatred and advertise an email address or commercial services or just plain spammy. I also reserve the right to remove posts that to my opinion are off-topic, irrelevant, ad-hominem, personal attacks and or just plain rude. (January 16, 2009)

RSS feed

104 Comments »

Comment by Maia Jose
2007-04-15 15:18:28

Very brave post,this :-) Not many Pinoy parents are comfy talking about sex, let alone their own sex lives, more so on whether their own kids might be hearing it. Bravo! We do need to be more open in discussing this so that we can be more equipped in teaching our kids about sex. My husband and I have always thought that we prefer our kids first learning about sex and all related issues from us rather than have them hear distorted versions elsewhere. We began as early as when they were taught body parts as toddlers and added to the info as they grew. Part of effective sex education ismaking them feel they can discuss everything with us – yes, including knowing that their parents have a healthy and happy sex life and that it contributes to having a loving and happy family. Have they heard us ever? Actually, I can’t say I know the answer for sure. I can just hope we have prepared them well enough so that their reaction would be more of amusement rather than horror :-)

 
Comment by Noemi
2007-04-15 17:07:28

@maia- this post was inspired by a talk I had with Dine at the iblog 3. We often wonder at the limited topics on “sex” in our country. No wonder my entry “sex education in the Philippines” rank quite high in Google search.

 
Comment by dexie
2007-04-15 20:32:07

this is why I Love you.. :)

my hubby and I have a very active sex life(http://feistymomma.com/WP/?p=11), read the very last part ;) . that’s why our bedroom doors are shut and we’ve made it perfectly clear to our son to knock first before coming in.

 
Comment by Noemi
2007-04-15 20:38:47

@dexie- hehe. Good thing you taught your son early on. I never taught my kids to knock. We just lock our rooms.

Incidentally, when I was house hunting, I made sure our room was not beside the kids room.

 
Comment by tofubaby
2007-04-15 21:10:29

I have always been an open-minded person and I believe (though I didn’t learn from home), that sex education should be taught from home. I never did heard my parents (when my mom was alive) have sex. Though my sister said that she remember walking on my mom and dad when she was little having the o*** performance. She cried when she saw that. :) Anyway, I will try to remember this advice when the time I have my own kids. I will definitely have to lock doors as my husband and I are very “loving” persons.

 
Comment by Belle
2007-04-16 00:21:44

Noemi, such an interesting post. I don’t know what my own kids have to say on this topic. I don’t want to find out especially my little one’s room is adjacent to mine. i know she can hear even our lighthearted conversation. Ahhh, few more months and she is off to college.

 
Comment by Nina
2007-04-16 04:37:37

This is interesting! I think it’s time that Filipinos become open-minded about sex.

 
Comment by KK
2007-04-16 04:53:28

Very interesting post Ate Noemi. Ah! That’s why my parents taught us how to knock and they have a very good lock on their bedroom door. hehehe ;) . My daughter is only 5 years old and she sleeps so soundly. Thanks to your post I will be more careful to make sure the door is locked in the future.

 
Comment by islandboy
2007-04-16 13:34:51

I never heard. But I know. >:)

 
Comment by Danni
2007-04-16 17:28:09

I think it’s about the children’s understanding regarding sex that makes them interested in knowing. The one who started the forum probably thinks that hearing her parents having sex means that they still love each other.

 
Comment by lemon
2007-04-17 08:48:02

LOL, Ms. Noemi,this is such an eye opener. I once read a magazine article in which parents went to such lengths to have their intimate moments but still get “caught” doing it by their children.haha.
That thing about knocking first we’ll have to teach our daughter when she’s old enough.
Great post as usual, Ms. NOemi.

 
Comment by Noemi
2007-04-17 08:50:33

@lemon- the best way is when they are not around or at the dead of the night.

 
Comment by feng
2007-04-17 10:01:07

as I was reading this post, i remembered Connie’s post on co-sleeping with the child because this is our current situation at home.

i have a 3-year old who co-sleeps with us (and we still prefer that he sleeps with us until he’s old enough to be in a room of his own). though we know he has no understanding yet on matters relating to his Mom and Dad’s intimacy moments, we thought it’s best that we should not be caught because when he is old and knowledgeable of sex already, baka, he would recollect and say “ah, yun pala yung ginagawa ng Mommy and Daddy ko!”.

so in short, at this point in my married life, having those intimate moments were really a challenge. :)

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 21:46:04

While a child remembering catching his parents having sex when he is older and knows then what sex is, is a concern, so too, should be giving him more brothers and sisters. So that could be a reason to go ahead and enjoy those intimate moments, even though there’s a young child in the bed. I imagine that a child in the bed, for many couples, simply does not stop sexual arousal, which of course can naturally lead to foreplay and sexual intercourse. Husband and wife sleeping together is supposed to be arousing. They are relaxed and their penis and vagina may be less than a foot apart, so of course they are going to attract each other and become erect at some time during the night. As I heard somewhere, it’s the maximum temptation and opportunity for people to mate and reproduce children, probably why it’s so traditionally expected that husband and wife should commonly sleep together. Also why it’s probably a good idea to try, if possible, to get children trained at a young age, to sleep in their own room in their own bed, even if it’s the next room over for their seeming security to sleep soundly.

Often with love, tucking children in, giving them a night light and such, small children often do learn to accept sleeping in their own beds.

Anyhow, I think in such matters, that parents are in the position to decide what they think is appropriate for their families.

Comment by Alexi Stushnoff
2010-02-09 15:55:06

The future is X-rated. Why don’t you just put on some hardcore porn and let your kids watch it with you. Then they can know how good it feels & have fun starting to having sex as soon as possible. How would you feel if your 12 year old was pregnant? No more fun for your baby. You know there are reasons that there are laws against that kind of shit.

Here’s a Sublime – Wrong Way quote for you.

Annie’s twelve years old in two more she’ll be a whore nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way don’t be afraid with the quickness you’ll get laid for your family get paid it’s the wrong way.

Nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way.

Now I grew up with kids who had to hear that kind of shit. They started having children around the ages of 14-17. In high school. The adults who actually do the right thing feel sorry for those poor children. Some of those poor children get fracked by 30+ year old men because they didn’t know any better.

Knocking on the door at night. “Mommy is he hurting you?” She opened that door and gave that poor little boy/girl a beating. They have terrible terrible nightmares. “Mommy are you ok is he hurting you”

(Comments wont nest below this level)
 
Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-09 16:03:15

Sublime – Wrong Way

Annie’s twelve years old in two more she’ll be a whore nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way don’t be afraid with the quickness you’ll get laid for your family get paid it’s the wrong way

I hope the parents feel proud when their little girl gets pregnant in High School ages 14-17. Let’s ruin life.

(Comments wont nest below this level)
 
 
Comment by peopleperson101597
2010-01-21 19:52:23

parents should keep their room private if your child is close to you you would not do it at the momment instead when your child is at school…but its ok bthat you are still doing sex…it shows love for each other..when i was 12 i saw my parents doing them it gave me nightmares…i told myself you know that childhood mind i said i dont want to have another baby in the house i want me (im not an only child)anyway kids are much smarter than you thought….oh by the way im 12….haha

 
 
Comment by Bob
2007-04-17 10:19:30

Childrens, especially teens have knowledge about sex which they get from school and thier peers. I think it’s better to just tell them about it first, than let them hear it.

Comment by lala
2009-12-25 04:34:35

ya tell me about it god…i’ve learned about ‘it’ from my friend first then my grandma and a little bit from health class. but from my parents??? NOPE sad isnt it?

 
 
Comment by sexy mom
2007-04-17 18:03:35

HILARIOUS!!! how else could i have had 7 children? and yes, dear readers, young and old…there’s mighty S after 40. i may be room hopping from night to night (sometimes i end up sleeping in any of the kids’ rooms), but there’s always time for S, there would always be other places apart from home for S. as Noemi said, it is an expression of love. S is positive!

this is a liberating post, dear Noemi

 
Comment by Tiffany
2007-04-17 20:25:02

Haha. I’ve never heard my parents talk about or have sex. I’m thinking they never did it as they grew older. :) Interesting topic! Surprised someone blogged about it–a mother at that! Kudos :)

 
Comment by Noemi
2007-04-17 21:54:02

@feng- cosleeping is a birth control measure which works .

@bob- I wanted my kids to hear it more accurately from me.

@sexy mom- Very liberating. :P

@tiffany- you never know. I’ve always been very open about the topic. I grew up with a mom who was just as crazy as I was.

 
Comment by thysz
2007-04-20 18:33:17

wow! crazy post! haha… when i was young i did suspect when they were doing it but im sure my folks are still at it! they love each other really.

 
Comment by Joel
2007-04-20 21:19:00

Well, I had walked in on my mom and dad several times when I was a child. It felt weird, considering I had no inkling what sex was all about. But when I grew older—and wiser—I thought about those incidents and found myself more troubled. If having sex supposedly leads to intimacy (or is it the other way around?), why did my parents separate?

 
Comment by mats
2007-04-22 02:21:50

hahaha! this post is soo true!
filipinos should be more open-minded when it comes to sex!

i never heard my parents doing it – but i heard my aunt and uncle doing it (before) and i was like
toog toog-a-toog!

 
Comment by ScarredForLife
2007-05-13 20:00:00

Oh geez. I caught my parents last week for the first time. All I was doing was getting toilet paper and I even knocked. Nobody answered. Horrible experience. They’re like 40-50, they’re too old, they should be like not able to move or have the energy to do that….

 
Comment by ItWasJustADream
2007-08-15 14:33:37

I AGREE WITH “ScarredForLife”

I am 17 years old, my parents just turned 60 (both of them) and I am DYING right now… I told my parents I’d stay at my friend’s house for a little while( it was getting late)… a little while passes and I walk into my house quietly (didn’t want to wake anyone up) and the next thing I hear is “maybe it’s better if I go on top”
D:
D:
D:
D:
D:
I am seriously scarred for EVER. I keep telling myself, “it’s just a dream, it’s just a dream, it never happened..” BUT I CAN’T GET IT OFF MY MIND. I tried to take my mind off of it by playing video games and watching a movie..but i still can’t stop thinking about it… ugh it disgusts me!!!!!!!

It’s weird because this is the first time I have ever heard of them doing it, EVER. The worst part about it is, I thought maybe my mo m was giving my dad a massage or something, and as I walk up the stairs, I hear some scurrying and my dad runs out with nothing on but a pillow covering his crotch saying “But you said you were coming later on!!!!!!” OOOOMG… OMFG I CAN’T stop thinking about ittttttttttttt.

well anyway, I thought maybe if I let it all out it would pass quicker so I can forget about it… overnight, hopefully??? SHIT.

 
Comment by kavitha
2007-11-01 14:36:58

Realy i enjoyed it

Kavitha

 
Comment by imalsoscared Subscribed to comments via email
2008-01-01 02:01:05

omg i walked in on my mum n dad doin it other nite i saw both of them naked n in n out of each ova n stuff..it was like eew.my mum looked at me and my dad stood up and said OUT OUR ROOM they havnt mentioned it since.=/

 
Comment by alana lopez
2008-01-26 03:43:28

hi my name is alana and just to say i have sex and im 22 and theres nothin wrong with havin sex…..

 
Comment by OMFG
2008-02-11 10:25:56

when i was 17 i was at my friends house my parents call and said that i had to go home the next day and i said okay………..so later in the night i realize their is school and i had a test that day so i had to go home and get my stuff for tomorrow……..and i got in the house and i heard a bed shaking and i was getting scared and then i was looking for my bookbag and i fond it and i heard[ohhhhh baby faster faster]and then i heard that and i knew it was my parents and i was laughing cause my dad is 39 and my mom is 38 so i was sitting on the steps by my parents door and i was hearing them and i saw my dad putting his **** in my moms ***** and i walk in and said STOP in a loud tone and they said get out and then i got my stuff and left after that night i was scarred till now cause im 18 now

 
Comment by rodaflip
2008-03-06 12:52:44

It’s common that sex is always taboo in the filipino family. Its the kind of upbringing that we had from the spanish times but gradually up to the present sex is already an open topic but still not within the family. I would say there is still conservatism in the filipino family in general especially in the Philippines but there are other filipino families outside of the country where probably its more liberal but i would still think its not many. Just an opinion from rodaflip http://flipantasticweb.blogspot.com

 
Comment by John
2008-03-18 00:32:28

My wife and I are sure that our oldest teenage son must hear us because our room is right next to his. Neither he nor our younger teenage son complain like some of the posts here do. At home and on vacations in timeshares, we don’t feel like we have to hide our sex toys, special lotions, or glow in the dark bubble bath. It is no big deal to us that our boys know that married people in their 50ties still enjoy doing it. They did walk in on us when they were little, but we have made sure to lock the door since then.

 
Comment by Morgan
2008-03-19 11:29:59

omg i can totally hear my parents having sex in the next room its so NASTY i just want to peel my ears off at first i thought my dad was hurting my mom b/c i couldn’t really tell of she was crying or what so i almost walked in until a realized that they were do’in the do i quietly went back to my room and acted as if i heard nothing the next morning i was trying so hard to avoid my parentsit was so weird but they didn’t know that i heard them it was gross
its sweet that after all these years people can still have the hots for each other but when its your own parents its just creepy

 
Comment by Andrea
2008-06-03 11:45:40

I am 24 years old and I have heard my parents have sex many a times. I recently got married and our sex life is suffering because I cannot get the mental picture out of my mind that I am doing the exact same thing my parents did. I have been to therapy over this, I have even gone to church, I’ve not said one word to my husband about it though. What is a girl to do??? I never thought my sex life as a married woman would suffer because I heard my parents have sex. And when I don’t have the episodes and we do have sex, then I’m ok until the next time we visit my parents. And then when we go over to their house to visit, in the back of my mind I know that my parents know we’re a married couple and we have an active life. And then when my husband and I go back home, he wants to make love and I am sooooooooo not in the mood. Parents: You guys HAVE NO IDEA what it does to a kid when they hear you have sex. You guys have got to be careful. It sucks and it’s disgusting and it’s crude. Don’t let your kids end up like me! The only reason I came across this forum is because I am thoroughly concerned for my own well being. And this post actually helped me to cope a little bit about what I had experienced as a child. Thank you!!

 
Comment by John
2008-06-28 09:50:03

Ladies, your parents are human beings. Their having sex co-created you with God.. Did your mom ever talk about sex with you? Andrea, I’m glad you are concerned about your own well being. For the well being of your marriage, please discuss this with your husband and see a marriage therapist together. I think there is more going on here than just hearing your parents have sex which is evidenced by shutting down sexually after visiting at home.

 
Comment by holly
2008-07-20 14:13:05

im 15, i hear my mum and dad every night
every night i canot sleep because of this i have had sex befor and it is the best thig ever but i dont want my um and dad to do it
i have also found toys and lube in there bedroom
i one walked in the just looked at me and then my mum kept blowing i will never regret them for runing my childhood
sdex is the best fealing try it if u havent but where a condom

 
Comment by Nessa
2008-07-25 09:12:32

One time i was about 8…or 7 i think and back then i did kina no what sex was but i dont even remember how i new what it was..and now im 13..but anways

i was going to my freinds house withc was like across the street and i whent there i was gonna stay for the night but then around 1 hour later i 4got to bring my toothbrush and i just ran back home to get it i came in the house and started calling my mom and she wouldnt reply do i got scared cuz the door was open so she couldnt have gone anywhere then i was like whatever ill just go get my toothbrush,key to lock the door when i got upstairs to my room witch is night next to mine i saw across the hallway my mom and step dad(EWW) having sex and it was so gross and then i was like yelling at my mom i was like MOMMM WHY ARE u screaming(lol) and then i just went and sat on the bed and taked for like 15 mins to prevent them to start again when i left ..then they broke up and my mom found this new guy witch they got married together for 5 years now but i always hear then have sex all the time its so gross…but really i think perants just..shouldnt have *loud* sex like be quit cuz when ur loud this is kinda weird but the kids wanna no more about it and like.. u wanna have sex faster then ur sapose to like when ur just a teen so perants DONT HAVE SEX IF UR KIDS OUR HOME JEEZ!

 
Comment by wtf
2008-07-25 09:15:44

um… ur only 15 holly and u had sex thats fucked man ur so stupid u shouldnt have sex when ur 15 ..and now ur telling other ppl to do it too…thats messed…and tell me is the guy u had sex with still with u ? let me guess not…ur gonna go to hell

 
Comment by Biz Subscribed to comments via email
2008-08-26 03:57:05

Always brings back memories for me, when I was about 12 I cound never understand all the noises comming from my parents room, it used to wake me up many times, some times I thought my father was really hurting my mother she made so much noise. I even started to notice them going upsairs in the afternoon for ‘a liitle lie down’ mother always used to turn the tv up before going upstairs which always baffled me! One day the bed was squeaking so lound one afternoon that I wentt upstairs to investigate, big mistake by me, saw parents naked on bed, father on top of mother with his head down, he didn’t see me and caried on, mother did but couldn’t stop him straight away so I saw everything, totally puzzled by now until mother shouted “GET OUT” I ran downstairs and was followed by mother in her gown, well I was told the facts of life there and then by mum, talk about being embarrassed and even worse she even went back upstairs and the noises started all over again so I got the theory and the practical at the same time!I was a shy 12 year old and could not look my parents in the face for months on end, it also started my life of masturbation the very next night and I eagerly awaited night times so I could indulge my habit, indeed I used to be very, very dissapointed if there was no sex going on during the night! Grew out of it eventually to the point where I found it gross in the exreame, guess my parents were just highly sexed!

 
Comment by fmdyo
2008-08-30 04:42:01

ew, ive walked in on em once.
but i was like 8, and ever since i walked in on em i’d always be paranoid.
and ive heard them a few times..sick, i feel disscusted.
but i guess ive gotten over it. i just turn on up the tv really loud !

 
Comment by Amanda
2008-12-04 03:22:39

I recently heard them…I’m 17 and so it’s not like I’m not used to the idea of sex. Friends, tv, etc, I mean. But when I heard them, it was the first time ever that I heard them in my life. And I wasn’t surprised, I know older people get it on. But I was really…unhappy. Disgusted even. To hear my mom make those sounds…I heard it a few days ago and I’ve gotten over it, but occasionally my mind recalls hearing it, and I get sick. I felt so weird. Probably because I didn’t think it was them. It was semi late at night and I heard something when I was brushing my teeth (the bathroom is right next to their room) and I heard it while the water was running. I turned off the faucet and listened more to see what it was…then I heard it and thought it was a neighbor or something from downstairs (apartment building) through a pipeline. I was still unsure and curious so I listened even further, until I realized it was my mom moaning! It’s really bad to hear that. No matter what anyone says, it’s natural, it’s accepted, they’re old, whatever, but still — no child should ever hear or see that. Parents, please think of the trauma you can cause. Wait till no one’s in the house, okay?

Amandas last blog post..Scholastic, NY Public Library unveil original Beedle

 
Comment by Amanda
2008-12-04 03:26:13

to john: your sons wouldn’t open up to that. i’ve heard my parents and there is no way I can say to my mom “hey i heard you last night”
pleaaaaaaaase take us into consideration: kids are understanding…we just don’t wanna hear the deed!!! that’s like if you were in a room with your friends or even your teachers having sex…please please please make sure ur kids dont hear u…u wont know the effects, they won’t say, its embarrassing

Amandas last blog post..Scholastic, NY Public Library unveil original Beedle

 
Comment by John
2008-12-05 10:38:30

Maia Jose, your post sounds one from a person whose children lack the type of parents of as I read many of these other posts.

Andrea,frankly your not being able to your husband in your parents house sounds like someone who is still a little girl who has not left home and not a grown woman.

Holly, at 15 your knowledge about sex and the place of sex in a marriage is not even out of kindergarten and you are playing with dynamite which you want to do but want your parents to stop, I guess for the reason as one person put it they should know they are too old for that or they should not have that much energy, but when you are that age you might well wish you did. You would not be able to have sex today if your parents had not had sex 15 years and 9 months ago.

Frankly, I think no child little or grown and particularly 18 as any business to tell or even worse walk in and tell your parents to stop making love.

It is unreal to me how many people and even many church people who view sex which God made as something nasty, dirty, only done in the dark and quietly. One extremely sad thing today is many teens are having sex but have no idea what making love is which is really what makes sex great and cannot always be planned.

 
Comment by Michelle
2008-12-07 22:29:01

Come on John,…you mean to tell us you don’t feel nervous with your heart racing with excitement whenever you hear the sound of moaning, screaming, and the bed screeching in rhythm which can lead to climax, let alone embarrassing because of the pleasure it brings at such a young age. It can be traumatic for such a person. And I wonder if it doesn’t effect the quality of sleep, which can lead to lack of consentration and poor performances in school for a child? That’s what a lot of us kids experienced growing up. I did. Why do you think sex sell ? Sex is tooo exciting for anyone…and it will be constantly on our minds…no one is exempted from it. Children our sexual beings too. I remember experiencing orgasms before the age of 5..when I heard my parents…although I did come from an abusive upbringing…Not sexual abuse, but mental and physical abuse.
Please understand that I know sex is not bad and dirty. Sex is beautiful, a gift given to married people by God. So parents shouldn’t stop making love, but should take into account their child cognitive development, because it can lead to sexual addiction. Remeber none of us is alike, nor is our experiences and feelings.

Comment by Lizzy Subscribed to comments via email
2008-12-22 04:58:44

Michelle, I agree but if you did’nt know the first thing about sex like me at 12 years of age and are subjected to a highly sexual home enviroment, parents making loud noises during sex, having sex during the day time when I was about and could hear every moan, groan and squeak of the bed, dad always groping mums ass, mum going to the bathroom naked after waking me in the early hours after having prolonged noisey sex etc, etc..the effects can be long lasting,even to this day, probally why I slept with so many men and had no long-lasting relationships, if it had been explained to me that these things did hapen between couples, albeit not as excessive as my parents habits then maybe I would be a sexually stable person?

 
Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 21:20:07

Face it, many children are going to be born to parents who are quite horny, having much sex, because the parents who aren’t having much sex, perhaps aren’t having hardly any children.

The natural flow of human life should be encouraged, so that more and more people can live and come alive, which means then, that as families grow, parents keep on making love.

Some homes are small, and some people are too loud with their sexual sounds, so children are sometimes just going to be aware of it. With breeding material (so many people) all around, I don’t expect people to use any means of “birth control,” and we should expect lots of babies to be born. People need not so much “control” their reproductive urges, provided they keep sex to be only with their married spouse, and provide for and love all the children God allows them to have. Wherever parents would be expected to sleep together, they ought to also be expected to be enjoying sex. And in small homes having big families, I think many children may often know what goes on, as human reproduction naturally grows to become a mighty force of nature, filling the world with ever more and more people.

Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-09 16:06:00

Pronatalist I hope you feel proud when you see all those under aged girls pushing around their babies. The fun is over for them.

(Comments wont nest below this level)
 
 
 
Comment by yasser
2008-12-08 08:44:50

i just hate it when i hear them my fucking dad always has sex no mater hat

 
Comment by John
2008-12-08 15:29:52

Michelle,

My parents divorced when I was 3 and we went to live with her mother and my great aunt. We did not move until I was twelve and was very glad to get a step-father and two step-brothers. Thus, I never heard much noise as you describe. My wife and I have never been as loud as
screaming, and the bed screeching in rhythm for one thing we have a very good and solid bed.

We’ve never had the option of having a house in which our bedroom was not rather close to our boys. We do try to be quieter than when they are not home, but I’m sure they hear some. At 51 and my wife at 53, we are no longer late night people. Our boys get plenty of sleep, the 16 year old is academically gifted and our 18 is very smart with great relationship skills and writes with a depth of insight very much beyond his age.

I do think possibly one reason a friend of mine’s younger sister never married was she complained about hearing their parent’s bed springs almost every night so Denise was glad when David moved out to college because then she got the basement bedroom.

On the other hand, my uncles and aunts on my dad’s side all have between 8-13 children in which often almost all of the girls are in one bedroom and all the boys in another bedroom with a room or two for those older teenagers. I’m sure their kids heard them and I saw my aunts pregnant so often that even now I can often meet a pregnant woman and guess how far along she is in her pregnancy.

Concerning sex addiction, I think there are many factors in that one being poor or no teaching from churches and often fundamentalist churches at all. It is not surprising that in the USA Bible belt more porn and adult toys are sold than anywhere in the USA. A high school classmate of mine told me that as a social worker the highest number of incest cases were among the fundamentalists. I live in a very fundamentalist county with huge fundamentalist churches and a fundamentalist college, but we also have three strip clubs, several porn shops, and I’ve heard quite a number of sex clubs for various interests along with one of the highest HIV infections and unwed mothers of the state.

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-21 00:55:33

It seems to me that when parents just let their babies push out from their having much sex, as they should so that more and more people can live, let the home fill up with ever more children, because they have very sensible practical or religious objections to the contrary-to-nature unnatural use of “birth control,” aren’t they increasing the odds of some of their children perhaps sometimes hearing them have sex? More children around, every bedroom full as can be with children?

Sure, parents ought to be a little discreet and private about sex, but that’s not near as important as respecting the natural reproductive rhythms and welcoming the natural flow of human life, and doing their part to help grow the already huge human race. I expect that the parents themselves, are in about the best position to decide what the appropriate level of family modesty shall be. Or in other words, those who are eagerly reproducing the most children, aren’t going to be able to realistically conceal their frequent pregnancies and all the evidence of their natural babymaking. Such is a fact of life, that we should reasonable respect. Quite many families throughout the world have more people than bedrooms, so not only is privacy for sex largely a “modern” invention, but often still lacks throughout much of the increasingly populous world.

My Mom had 4 children, and I don’t recall ever hearing sex. Perhaps some parents can make babies rather quietly, or some children sleep rather soundly? Or some children may not yet know what those strange sounds at night mean? But had my family had 8 or 13 children, I shouldn’t be surprised if some of us heard sounds of sex at night? I mean there does have to be a cause for there being so many babies coming to life?

 
 
Comment by claudia Subscribed to comments via email
2008-12-10 10:45:31

I read this whole article, and I felt very Identified with Michele´s comment. please read this if you are interested in knowing how all this can affect your child and how traumatic it can be for us to the point off affecting our everyday future life.
I`m an 18 year old girl and I still can´t forget the disturbing image I saw at the age of 5.
At the time we we`re kind of poor, so mymom, my steofathr and I lived atmy aunt`s house and all three of us slept on an iron bunk bed whixh was already kind of rusty. one day by dawn i was sleeping and i startes to feel the whole bedmove , at first i didn´t pay much attention, for i had a pure mind and never even thought about sex, so i just shoputed, stop m,oving, oi said it for about 3 times. after rthat i was so pissed off that i just got up and i was about to yell at them for waking me up..but iwasnñt able to do it ..it was a shocking image what i saw ..my dad sittin on top of my mom both moving, moaning and gasping ..they were just as shocked as me , and froze.. i just ran out of the room yelling and crying towards my aunt´s room. afterwards my mom came and talked to me and told me they did it so that i could have a little brother(whiswas actually a sister).. from this moment on , i developped some kind of resentment and disgiust towards my stepdad… but the worse part is that i got specially interested in sex..by the age f five can you imagiune?! ..i once almost tried to do it with my cousin , but we were caught so nothing happened, well, at least not till i was 12. when we moved to a bigger house and everyone had their room , i used to spy on them and would hear every noise on purpose, and felt excitation and disgust and hate towards them, specially my step dad , everything tthe same time..i ´m not sure where this sort of hate comes from, iñm not even sure if it is hate but,..it´s still scary to talk about it…i would also look at porn , something that became adictive at some point..but that with some will i managed to control , and got over it… afterwards they got divorced..and i actually felt relieved with the fact
anyways this kind of experience is really traumatic..for the sake of your kids mental health be very careful of them noticiing about your sex life..i know everybody says it shouldn´t be taboo..even though i´m no psychologist or anything, somethimes i think it should..

 
Comment by Lizzy Subscribed to comments via email
2008-12-21 05:58:00

It happens so often now that I’m used to it, but it was a major problem when I first heard it as I thought my dad was really hurting my mom, it got to the point where I was going to ask her about it, THANK GOD I did’nt because I managed to work it out for myself and I would have been SO embarresed asking about the noises I heard most nights, could’nt work out why they arguyed so much during the day and then had sex at night, did they love each other or not? I know parents do have sex but I never thought they did it so often, and why the noise? don’t they know people might hear them?

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-21 08:39:00

It’s also possible they may not care that much, that other people may hear them? They may have also heard their own parents having sex? Anyway, I hear sex is hereditary. If your parents didn’t do it, neither would you.

Humans curiously enjoy being constantly “in heat,” able to conceive babies year-round. So should it really be so surprising that in our increasingly populous world, we may hear parents, or nearby neighbors, having sex at night? It’s a natural sound or music of nature, we can sometimes hear the already huge human race naturally growing some otherwise quiet nights.

Of course maybe people ought to be a bit more discreet and quiet with their sex. But then God made what populates the planet so extremely pleasurable, some people find it hard to be quiet enough, especially during an intense orgasm. Selfish humans need some natural “persuasion” to keep the natural flow of human life, going and growing, as God intended for us to multiply.

Somebody’s got to get the bedroom next to the parents? Most homes don’t put the master bedroom over on the other side of the house. And houses are notorious for having squeaky floor boards, or creaky or squeaky beds or mattress springs.

 
 
Comment by John
2008-12-21 11:23:00

Lizzy,

Maybe your parents argue during the day because they are honestly discussing important issues instead of keeping everything bottled up then later make up by having sex. Until you have sex and sex with deeper and deeper personal intimacy, you will not quite understand the noise. I tend to be nosier than my wife, but my wife cannot hold it in when she has one of those really powerful orgasms. The non physical part of sex over the years makes you want to feel that close to your spouse very, very often. It ain’t the main thing about marriage but it does reflect the intimacy of the relationship. Be glad they are still active because the health benefit from this is very good for men for those who remain active over the years have a far lower rate of prostrate cancer.

Comment by major problems now
2009-03-12 04:16:40

hey john most people love is a kiss or a hug and not something that make your kids practicaly traumic ond and emotional issues. people like you are the ones that would make me and almost all of the people who made comments on here have bad pictures in their head ond so on.

 
 
Comment by Confused
2008-12-22 16:54:04

I understand that parents of all ages have every right to sex. I am 20 and last night I came home unexpectedly early and thought I heard my dad throwing up upstairs. I got about 3/4 of the way up the stairs when i saw my dad screwing my mom doggy style. I wish I could say that i was only a little disturbed and that i’m now ok with it but that would be a lie. I dont know why it’s affecting me this much but i can’t get the image out of my head and everytime i think of it i just want to cry. My whole life my parents have made sex into a horrible, dirty act and although i know that it’s a natural and necessary part of life, to see them doing it was just horrifying. I think it would have been different if it looked like they were ‘making love’ but they were full on fucking and it was gross. Like i said, i KNOW that this is normal and that sex is part of a healthy lifestyle but the fact that they were doing it that way just made them seem like hypocrites. If i was brought up in an atmosphere that acknowledged sex for what it is and accepted that it was natural and normal, i don’t think this wouldve been a big deal. sure, it would have still been unpleasant but at least it wouldn’t have been psychologically damaging. Seeing them made me feel like a helpless little kid which is crazy…….i feel as if i am overreacting but seeing them just troubles me so much. My brother is even more upset than i am – and he didnt even see what i saw.

 
Comment by sally Subscribed to comments via email
2008-12-26 08:24:46

As I write this they, my parents are at it again! I think it’s getting worse, every night this week and twice in the afternoons, no way I can ask my friends over to visit me as I wuld just die of embarresment! it’s a wonder the niegbours don’t complain about the noise..Hey it’S STOPPED!! pity now that I’m wide awake, might just just put ny music soo f^^cking load it might keep them awake.

Comment by craig Subscribed to comments via email
2009-01-03 22:52:59

When I was 10-14 yrs old I had to stay with my aunt and uncle. I had to get up for school in the mornings so I got up about 615-630am. A few times out of the week in the morning I would hear my aunt and uncle getting it on so I would just stay in my room untill they were done because they left their bedroom door wide open. So one morning I did not hear them, went to the kitchen to get my breakfast and was taking it back to my room and caught my aunt and uncle getting it on. However, the way they were doing it was way diffrent. My aunt was laying on her back with her legs bent, knees pointing towards the ceiling, and my uncle was next to her facing her on all fours pushing down on the bed. I dont know what they were doing or if they knew what they were doing but I didnt need to see that.

 
 
Comment by juju
2009-01-18 21:41:11

Ewwwww I can hear my parents having sex all the time….let me tell you my dad really know how to give (with his 10 inch cock)

 
Comment by kim Subscribed to comments via email
2009-01-22 03:15:07

i hear my parents every single night and i mean it like really EVERY SINGLE NIGHT i was shocked when i heard them for the first time but now i’m use to it and i’m happy they still love each other oh and p.s i’m only 12 that means its harder for me to cope with it :P so plz repect my comment thank you

 
Comment by kimia Subscribed to comments via email
2009-01-22 03:42:16

i hear my parnts having sex every single night andi mean it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT i was soooooooooooo shocked that i stopped talking to my mom and dad i wake up ever night because i them and i cant get the sound of my head like one day i was sleeping and then i heard my mum and dad joking and talking and laughing i was happy that they still loved each other but when they stopped talking and laughing after few mun of silence i heard my mum breathing in and out my heart beat up really really fast and then i pulled the pillow up my head but i still were hearing them my rooms door was wide open so was my mum and dads so i could hear them clearly my mom came to close the door and i acted that i was sleeping but one of my eyes open i saw her completly naked and some thing that i’m not going to mention cause it’s disturbing when she closed the door i started crying really quitly so they wouldnt hear me and i was only 12 and still am 12 and from then i now hear them every single night and please i’m only 12 so respect my comment and dont say you should be happy that your mom and dad still love each other.

Comment by Sloan
2009-08-08 05:57:28

Come on i am 10 and have seen things you wouldn’t dream of!!
Tell me !

 
 
Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2009-02-13 05:50:55

I’m grateful that my parents never put me through such torment. But it makes me feel sad and sorry for my x’s little boy. Her own words are “He’ll Pretty Much Sleep Through Anything.” I feel sorry for that little boy because I never had to grow up hearing those awful sounds. But he is and can only hope that he isn’t going to be traumatized from it.

 
Comment by Blownbyurmom
2009-03-05 10:54:39

Omg disssssssgusting i would cry if i saw my parents bangin. One time my parents went to their room to nap and i opened the door and jumped under the covers with them( i was only 6) and i looked under anf i saw my dad wasnt wearing any clothes( i only saw his legs and found out he was naked) and i blew it off because my dad doesent wear underwear only shorts but now that i think of it he probably just finished doin it wit my mom. Now im extremely disgusting. Iwwww

 
Comment by major problems now
2009-03-08 09:14:55

i heard my mom and dad having it in a motorhome. i pretended to be asleep so i wouldn’t get in trouble for being up late. now i suppose that my act of not telling the truth with my body led me to thinking horrible things about my parents, expessialy my dad. i think about it all the time , i have even seen sex stuff lying around in thier room. i cant stop thinking about it. i cry all the time because of it . iswear i now have emotional problems and depression. now i am even afraid to see my parents go out at night because if they get back late i have know idea what they are doing. i really didnt know what to do while i was in the motorhome i wish i could erase it, i prayed to god but mabe i need to know i because i still think like that.

 
Comment by claudia Subscribed to comments via email
2009-03-08 23:31:21

oh my god! its las if i were the one who worte @major problems now” comment. i totally get you sweety, i also developed that anger towards my father. and i had these crazy thoughts about them going out just to have sex out at nighht, i remember one time. i was supposed to be sleeping andi heard they opened the front door and i ASSUMED, IMAGINED they were going to a hotel to have sex and that they were gonna leave my sister and i , and we weren supposed to notice and we werent going to because theyd be back by the morning,.and that they probably always did that. i got al crazy and startede yelling and screaming , and they came up so i told them all the story but they jst wouldnt listen . i fell aseep while crying. i was a little 7year old paranoic girl.. gosh… so you know whta ? i recommend you to tell your parents that you want to g to a psychologist ,,, he might help you to be able to survive the fact of living i the same house than your parents. take a break of em and go live somewhere else for a whil e like a month or something

 
Comment by major problems now
2009-03-10 09:41:41

hey john i really dont like you because you talk about sex like it is nothing. god tells us not to have sex but be fruitful and multiply.even though my parents have sex they never let me have a little brother or sister.god lets us do whatever you want but you always sin. in the holy bible (and practically everything other one) He never tells us to have sex for fun. so why cant you and who ever has not had a baby after sex just do not do it. people stop yourselvs you can have sex with the “bundles of joy babies” instead of exposing anyone to it. including me, may i remind you that i know have emotional and depression problems and i am only 12.

 
Comment by Neutral
2009-03-14 02:03:37

Listen guys, I’m 16 a girl. I ‘have’ walked in on my parent’s when we lived in an apartment. When we moved I got the fartest room, possble from their’s. My sister was little so she didn’t understand, but one night she came knocking on my door one late night while I was readin a book. She looked horrifed. I let her sleep on my floor, and she told me she heard them she was 12 at the time I was 14 going on 15. I told her ‘why do you think I got the fartest room?’ She said because I was a genrous person. I shook my head. “No so mommy and daddy have sex and I don’t hear it with my god dam virgin ears.” She laughed at that, but I told her. “At least the horros of them getting divorced is over.” She looked at me confused. Then I explained mom and dad were fighting alot, me and my sister got worried. “-So at least that they have sex it means there is still something.” SHe nodded and went to sleep. Then I had to sleep one time in her room, and this was in the winter. Our grandma was living with us and like the sap I was she took my room. I heard them, I was reading a book, and my sister was snoring. I looked at the time it said 2:00 and went to 7:00. I never got any sleep, it was horrfying to hear of course I’m a dam teenager! I was also like ‘dam!’ they got it going on, and at that just impressive. So much for my fathers middle life crisis huh? Well hears my point all kids are horrified, in fact we found a porno in our parents room when me and my sister were cleaning it for punishment. I decided to tell mom and dad ‘we hear you..we are fine with it..we love you..we are scarred, but we love you.” My dad was cool and laughed, my mom got mad flipped out and grounded me for a week -.-;. Of course hears my point, it’s just as trmatizing for us to hear our parents cause when we were younger it didn’t exsist. Like for our parents it would be tramatizing for them to hear us being sexualy active, my dad would get a bat and go kill the guy..wel for my case girl and my mom would be trmamtized. My dad wouldn’t care he accpects my perfrence, but my sister any boy she brins home he’ll say. “I’ll go clean my gun now.” SO you see it’s vise versa, if we have to talk to our parents about being active and why can’t they? Cause at one pint we have too. Instead of yelling “get out!’ and or throwing something at them so..parents talk if your kids see you just talk to them, parents just picture ‘your’ parents dustirbing just like us so you know were it comes from.

 
Comment by OMFG
2009-03-31 04:10:49

I am 13 and I am adopted and my parents seem (or seemed) to be the average parents. I mean like, they have arguments sometimes, and they go to partys and have fun, and don’t show too much affection anywhere. But one day last week, I was looking in my moms drawer in the bathroom because I was looking for something and then in the back of the drawer was a squeeze bottle of KY Lubricant. Since I’m adopted my parents had to be a certain age or something to adopt me, so they are both in their 50’s now. I just looked at the bottle, horrified, and then took notice that the middle of it was squeezed and that some was gone. I was freaked out. But after reading what other people, who are teens like me, have gone through, I realize that I am not the only one out there who has this scar. BTW my mom weighs less than me and my dad isn’t huge, but he weighs like 160lbs. I have some bad thoughts running through my head….. ugh….

 
Comment by OMFG
2009-03-31 04:20:01

So….its the same 13 yr old and i just wanted to add for those people who had to witness ‘it’ at a young age, I Thought Parents Were Supposed To Lead Their Young Children AWAY From Porn and Influences Like That. geez.

 
Comment by mylas
2009-04-13 00:24:05

i think my parents are doing because they alyways want privaxy and lock their door

 
Comment by Sally Subscribed to comments via email
2009-04-13 18:24:02

Fair enough I’m only 13 but I know what they do in their room, but still can’t understand why my mom sounds as though she’s being hurt real bad.

Comment by Taylor
2009-06-01 17:51:06

I feel your pain

 
 
Comment by Roland Subscribed to comments via email
2009-06-09 18:33:20

@Sally/Taylor: Your mother doesn’t have *pain*, she has *pleasure*, no, very big pleasure. It may sounds like she has pain, but she doesn’t.

For saying about my self, Iam 31 yrs old and have currently no children (but I want to, with the right woman). But I think when my child steps and caught us “inflagranti”, that means while we “enjoy and love each other a very intimately way” I would tell the kid the truth, what he/she is seeing.

Mom and dad love each other very much! :D

 
Comment by claudia Subscribed to comments via email
2009-06-10 08:06:56

(To roland)..well, that’ s just dumb

 
Comment by ashley Subscribed to comments via email
2009-06-22 03:47:03

i always her my parents have sex but they think i dont no when they clos they door they talk and have sex and starting to get out my nerves . if us kids cant have sex why can they have sex but when i tell my parents can your please stop the keep going it tireion and my mama say they e sleep they dont because when my sis ask for something u can hear her voice like she not even sleep i hear them i think the things they do is stupid ifeel my sis and i are not exist my mama always lik it feels good she cant stop the oise and theyu do it when school night we be so sleepy in the morning in class we sleep on our subjects. my sis had walked in why they doing it thats when my cousin was there

 
Comment by Magdeline Subscribed to comments via email
2009-07-16 22:35:32

I was raised in a one room house in the islands. I shared a big bed with my little brother and our mom and dad. We never wore clothes around the house or yard, as this was the custom.

I loved it when mom and dad would let my brother and me stay in bed when they did it, but sometimes they chased us out. My brother and I would pretend we were doing it too, and we would make noises and laugh. We thought of sex as a fun game. Our parents never told us otherwise.

As we grew older, both my brother and I came to appreciate our exposure to loving sex at home. It was just a natural part of growing up and a part of life.
Magdeline´s last blog ..Tribute to Saint Michael Jackson My ComLuv Profile

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 05:27:44

Yes, I agree that humans having sex and reproducing babies, should be considered just a natural part of life, as natural as breathing or eating. And it should be enjoyed naturally, without any means of anti-life “birth control.” More and more people would be glad to live, so the natural increase of people should always be eagerly encouraged, within responsible families but of course. Encourage large families worldwide, so that far more people may live and experience life.

However, reasonable morals requires sex be limited to those people committed together by marriage into stable families, so that resulting children who come to life as a result, are assured that they will have parents to take care of them. There is also the moral expectation of some reasonable level of privacy for sex, as it’s a special and intimate relationship between fathers and mothers. It hardly seems appropriate for children to be sharing the same bed that their parents are having sex in. However, it’s quite understandable that privacy obviously lacks among large families who all live in just a single room, or within the motel room or family tent while camping. And the natural spread of human life is of far greater than actual privacy, so I think parents should not be ashamed to get sexually aroused and engage in sexual intercourse with children watching, where big families live in small homes without enough actual privacy. In that case, I think privacy can be virtual, meaning not talking to outsiders outside the family to embarrass people about intimate details they don’t need to know. Humans should be expected to enjoy natural sex, most anywhere that the parents would normally sleep together, even if that happens to be within the same room as their children, as their large families continue to naturally grow.

I don’t understand why your parents couldn’t somehow find a separate bed for the children? But proper family modesty and privacy, are to be decided by the family and parents, so there’s really not much way to regulate such things, nor for outsiders to insist that bedroom or bathroom door be closed when people are “doing it,” or using the toilet, as it’s a family affair to decide reasonable family standards of respect and privacy. Throughout much of the world, families are large and “unplanned,” and there may be but one bed in a 1-room home, so children seeing parents having sex, is probably far more common than many of we spoiled Western Americans may like to think?

I especially think it’s okay to let babies see their parents having sex, as babies need too much constant attention to just always put them in a separate room. Nothing wrong with carefully enjoying sexual intercourse, while the baby breastfeeds at the same time, as naturally large families probably are plenty busy with breastfeedings, every 2 hours or so, making it too hard to schedule such natural activities always at a separate time than natural sexual lovemaking. It’s not that babies won’t remember what they see. Rather, I suspect they do. Rather that babies are innocent, and need too much attention, thus a lot of privacy from babies, isn’t all that practical for some families I would guess. Babies are already exposed to sexual lovemaking anyway, as couples enjoy intercourse during pregnancy. Think the baby doesn’t feel the rhythmatic movements of the natural procreative act? But what do do, the baby is trapped in the womb, so that’s works as a suitable excuse for it.

Sure, sex should be relaxed, natural, and enjoyable. But I wonder if your experience was a tad bit too relaxed? As the huge human population continues to grow, hopefully ever larger, requiring more towns and big cities here and there to hold us all, it’s quite understandable that having enough privacy everywhere people may happen to live, is a bit of a challenge. So I think it unrealistic to think that all parents in poor countries, where large families often share small cramped home, can reasonable keep their enjoyable procreative sex, as private as it otherwise probably ought to be.

 
 
Comment by Millionaire Acts
2009-07-18 15:11:02

Hi Noemi,

I read some stories of the commenters here and it makes me laugh.

I myself once saw my parents in action before because when we were young, we used to share the same room with them together with my brother.

But it did not affect me. I think it all depends on the children.

It may be disgusting at first but time will come that the young child can understand about it and will no longer be treated as something as nasty.
Millionaire Acts´s last blog ..Pay Less On Your Next Car My ComLuv Profile

 
Comment by Nichole
2009-11-14 11:28:28

i was watching tv in my living room once and i had my head leaned against the wall and i heard a strange noise…. so i went and tryed to open my parents door it was locked i kept calling “mom,dad?” they wouldn’t answer.so i went outside and looked through the window and….. and…….. you know. i am emotionally scarred for life. I am only 10 years old and this happened recently.

TALK ABOUT TRAUMA!!!!!!!!

 
Comment by me?
2009-12-01 04:07:00

children shouldnt have to “be cautious” when approaching parents doors. parents should be respectful enough to their children to not be having sex when theres a chance the children could find out. think about it, how would you feel if you children were having sex in the room next to yours and you overheard? would you think, oh they just love each other i should be happy? dont think so.

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 05:49:46

If children don’t want to “be cautious” when approaching their parents’ bedroom door, then they should be all the more understanding when they happen to see “the facts of life,” that married people commonly like to or need to enjoy sex.

Obviously, not all families are uptight or careful to shut doors, and it’s up to the parents to set the family modesty standard in this, as it’s not any business of outsiders to be concerned with. Some homes don’t heat or air condition properly, with doors shut, and some people may feel comfortable that they will be alone enough most of the time, to not bother shutting the bedroom door. There is no “safe” time for sex, with children around, for who knows when a child will wake up or have to visit the bathroom during the middle of the night, to pee?

When sex is spotted accidentally, be respectful and overlook it. Just another fact of life that most everybody (married) “does it.” Just another reason why the world now has so many billions of people.

 
 
Comment by Holland
2009-12-14 01:18:47

I agree with Comment by me. Given my parents’ past with each other my views may be somewhat skewed on the whole issue but I believe that sex between parents should be kept for those times during the day when the kids AREN’T around or at least if your kid is a really really sound sleeper in the dead of night and I mean so sound a sleeper that not even the Apocalypse would wake him/her up. Another thing is parents doing it in the same room as a child. That’s gross. That’s why we have motels nowadays or dropping off a kid at a relative or separate rooms for crying out loud. >_> I did not appreciate that.

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 13:26:41

Sex isn’t just for night time or when children are asleep. I can see parents doing it during the day, or when they become aroused, even though children may see. They should go to their separate bedroom for some reasonable privacy, but not all people in the world have such large homes to have that option. Sometimes but 1 common room is all there is.

Going to a motel is absurd, when sex should be in their own home, and motel rooms cost too much. I am quite sure that many families aren’t so rich as to rent an extra room for the children, so when they actually are all staying at a motel, they are all sharing the same room. Many parents may wait for sex until they think the children are asleep, but really there is no way to ever quite be sure?

When parents and children live in the same home for nearly 2 decades or more, children are bound to see “something” eventually. Although I didn’t see much, as my parents divorced when I was 6 years old. I would rather they had stayed together, even though they might someday have been caught by me or a brother or sister, “doing it.” If they love each other so much, then we shouldn’t have to worry about them separating or divorcing? I mean like children are supposed to forever remain clueless as to how babies are naturally made? I don’t think so. Back in the old days, when families were commonly large and homes, small, weren’t people more relaxed about some of those facts of life, and children more often knew from a young age, how babies come to be made?

 
 
Comment by gabrielle
2009-12-16 12:46:51

hey guys, i’m 15 and i’ve just seen my parents having sex this midnight and i was f**ckin traumatize! i was picturing out what they were doing. i wanna forget about it but i cant! really. gosh,

i woke up in the middle of the night to pee and when i walked through mom and dad’s bed they were gone. i was pretty sure they were in the living room eating or whatever they’re doing except having sex. sex didn’t come into my mind. But after i pee in the bathroom, i heard my parents’ whispers in the living room so i went there to see them,. I saw dad was on the couch covering his —- and mom was still naked and she was already wearing her pants w/o her panty. i said “GEEZ! SORRY GUYS!” then i went to sleep. after that i didn’t open that topic anymore to my parents.
it was so so disgusting when you guys see your parents having sex. i wish i didn’t go to the living room anymore.

parents, you must have sex in your homes without your children or even in the middle of the night cuz sumtimes us children also pee in midnight and might hear you or see you and you don’t know what would be our reaction when we’ve seen you,. soo EEWWW. but we understand. :)

 
Comment by Ria Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-18 14:53:52

OH MY GOD
my bedroom is on the side of my parents’ room and i live in a sh*tty house so the wall has NO insulation and i hear them every friggin night and it DISGUSTS ME!! i mean theyre young and all but they dont even get along (cuz my dad is an a$$,) but teyre up Every Night doin it and its like literally 6 feet from my bed , plus we used to live in a nice big house bt we had to move to this 100 year old piece of shiz cus my dad wanted to live on his homeless rescue property that LITERALLY has helped No1 so i have to hear their MOANING every night… i hate them…

 
Comment by mandy Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 06:50:22

I hate the weekends, my parents are due back anytime now, they try to do the right thing “are you awake” when they come in, but every time the noises start, the bed noises at first then the moaning, I have to put my hands over my ears to block out the noises, why do they have to do this to me?

Comment by Ria Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-19 12:03:05

I KNOW IT SUCKS! my parents dont give a shiz that i hear them. my idiot father probly thinks its funny cuz he always talks about him and my mom havin sex in front of me and my older bro and we’re all like, NOONE WANTS TO HEAR IT YOU DDOUCHEE we both hate him.

 
 
Comment by TannerThemad
2009-12-24 13:15:51

This pisses me of. No this but my parents i mean damnit i fucking think theres a damn zoo in there and im twelve and i hear it and it makes me fucking sick because its disrespectful for them to have sex and dont give a shit that i have to go through that shit EVERY FUCKING NIGHT

 
Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-25 02:41:32

If you don’t like it then say something to them about it. If they laugh at you and think that it’s funny. Then you can try what my friend did and teach them a lesson like they teach you. You’ll get in trouble but fill up a cold bucket of water and if they have the door unlocked. Run in there and throw it on them.

He got in trouble but it showed them.

My friend does that to her child like her father did to her. So you can guess what that child is going to grow up to do. I’ve seen some dumb comments in this last week on here and they say they have a right to do what they do and they do it but. I know some of those children who grew up like that. Today most of those people have become fucked up drug addicts and their children hear those same noises without a care. A nock on the door “Mommy are you Ok?” That’s tramua you NEVER forget.

Some of them don’t speak to their parents anymore & I’ve seen their patents, as a grown man cries out in anguish because of what he had done. Their parents had rights, But So Do You.

Learn from their mistakes & don’t repeat them when you have children. If you can change things for the better then start trying now before it’s too late.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

 
Comment by Hlias kirtellis
2009-12-25 05:20:15

Hello
I’m 15 yr old
and I hear my mom with my secod father having sec every night ( I never seen my real father ) my bed room is next from my mom’s and I can heAr clearly what they are doing what can I do for this?

 
Comment by Hlias kirtellis
2009-12-25 05:26:42

Sorry
I was mean “sex” not sec i’m using my mobile cos I have not pc

 
Comment by oopsie Subscribed to comments via email
2009-12-29 16:54:33

i am fortunate that i have never actually seen my parents going at it. …but lately i’ve been noticing more signs that show they have been doing it. it’s natural, i know…but it’s still embarrassing for me to know. first i was looking for something and opened my mother’s bedside table drawer and saw a little bottle that had a label on it that indicated it was a lube. i was quite embarrassed even by that.
and then one night i was sleeping a motor home with my parents, when i suddenly awoke to feel the whole thing shaking. i thought it was the wind at first and i was about to shout out that the wind was disturbing my sleep, when i suddenly realised that it was actually my parents. thankfully they were in an enclosed cabin in the motor home, but it was absolutely shocking even so. i could even hear the bed squeaking and i thought the motor home was going to tip over with all the shaking. i was shocked and disgusted and embarrassed…but then i suddenly felt a bit horny, after about 15 minutes. and that disgusted me even more. i pretended to still be asleep, despite the fact i desperately needed to use the toilet. and then the shaking stopped and my father tell my mother to “just rub it” and then he said “mmm..that wa nice”. i couldn’t look my parents in the eye for a long time after that.
and just today i was talking to my parents about a holiday we’d once had, and my father starts smirking at my mother and said to her “mmm…remember..”. i demanded to know what he was smirking about and he said “it’s too rude for you to hear”. i raised my eyebrows at him and asked “did you see or hear something…?” he just said “no…” and i didn’t ask anymore. i later figured that he and my mother must’ve had sex when they left me in the hotel to go and have a private spa together.
there have been a whole lot of hints and clues that tell me that they still do have a very active sex life, despite how old they are. it just never occured to me that my parents would still be active… it still shocks me.
i just hope i never walk in on them.

Comment by Pronatalist Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-09 05:12:54

Sex is natural and proper for married people. What’s the big deal, if there’s sounds, or indications, of parents having sex, when sex is how we children were conceived? So why should it surprise us that parents still enjoy and need sex?

Generally, if one becomes aware of their parents having sex, I think children should be respectful and simply go on as if they are asleep. Don’t interrupt the possibility of another baby brother or sister, possibly coming to life at or soon after that moment.

I would much have rather heard the natural sounds of sex, even from parents not being quiet enough or whatever, than for them to have divorced when I was only 6 years old. I would rather they have worked things out, and give me more brothers and sisters. I am pro-life, and don’t mind having to share my bedroom, as may come to be needed, if the house fills up with more children.

About the RV shaking comment. I thought that RVs had leveling feet that keep the RV from shaking? Why weren’t they lowered? If there’s no such feet, then I see nothing wrong with the RV shaking from natural sex, with the children inside the RV. What? Should the children be evicted and sent outside into the cold rain, every time the parents need some lovemaking? I don’t think so. It’s just a fact of life, that “everybody does it,” well at least people properly married, ought to be enjoying natural sex, and bringing ever more babies into the world, more people alive to experience life. It’s not just RVs I imagine, but in a crowded campsite, it’s possible sometimes to hear the people in the next tent, enjoying natural sex. Just overlook it and respect people and their needs. As long as husband and wife enjoy sex, where they would normally sleep together, that seems enough morally in line to me. Yes, that could be, inside a tent with the children present, or in an RV. Some tents have a thin privacy wall, and some RVs have a separate “bedroom.” But not all do.

Where there’s not enough privacy, what about “virtual privacy?” That means, if one becomes aware of sex, ignore it, and respect people’s privacy.

 
 
Comment by Mackenzie Subscribed to comments via email
2010-01-01 13:37:59

im 11 My moms not married but shes dating… every tuesday she goes to his house and “gets it on” and thats fine with me. But my mom is always saying ” if we get married your going to have to hear it every night(why cant they just have quiet sex?)

we went to Galtlinburg and spent a night in a cabin, my mom made a deal with me that she wuld have sex because she knows it bothers me(im scared IDK why).But she mized up the rules. she said “hey how about we can have sex but really, really quit?” i said ok. well i hear thumping(my room was down stairs right under theirs.) moaning, and graoning.so finally she cmes down stairs at 2:00 in the frikken morning. and im crying be cause im scarred ive been scarred my whole life. she says why are you crying. i said because i cant sleep be cause of you and Brad(boyfriend). your promised you be quit. she said thats as quit as i get, laughs and falls asleep. im still pissed at her today. BTW she gets mad at me when i get scared and i dont know why please help why i cant

 
Comment by Melissa Subscribed to comments via email
2010-01-05 09:51:28

Im 11 and i hear my mom and her boyfriend having sex, mostley every week! I hate it! They arent married and it really annoys me! I hear my mom moaning and telling Brian(boyfriend) harder, harder! I cant stand them! When I talked to my mom about it she said i was just hearing things! But then she admits that she did and does! I hate when her and Brian have sex! Its became like a routine for them now! I hate when they have sex so bad, that ive wanted to comitt suicied! But then i remember i cant give my life away just because of this! And im afraid that if i talk to my mom about me hearing them having sex she will get so mad! How do i get them to stop!? :(

 
Comment by teen - teen
2010-01-05 22:23:22

that’s horrible….talk to someone whom you trust,can be a teacher or a relative…sad to know it’s your mom who gives you a problem…be strong…

 
Comment by Mac
2010-01-13 04:50:40

Hey all on 19/01/10 I will go 17 all we know about sex but when we hear us parents or yours mom or mine mom doing it it’s horrible. I hear every night some times doing it it’s realy crazy for me to hear from my non-father “lets make a party baby” or something I am from Greece my mom from Australia I do not care for my non father any way guys or kids do what I did talk to your mom or to you father (I do not have father I dint meet mine or see him I do not know who he is) say to your mom …. Mom listen something i can hear you all night having sex and this is realy horrible for me so if you can do it when iam not at home do it but NEVER when I’m at home and sleeping or doing something else

Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-09 16:26:01

Well I’ve been thinking about it and my advice to you poor, children is to get a pair of ear plugs and sleep with them in your ears. It’s the best advice I can think of I don’t know what to say. Reading this stuff brings tears to my eyes that. Small minds think alike and there isn’t much you can do about it. Maybe if your feeling brave get a tape recorder. Record it and call the police on your parents. The cops will probably take you away and put you in a foster home. If your parents Truly Love You That Will Teach Them A Life Lesson Which They Will Never Forget. But it would probably make life better or worse. I wake up each morning and this

Serenity Prayer

God Grant Me
The Courage To Change
The Things I Can
The Strength To Accept
The Things I Can Not Change
And The Wisdom
To Know The Difference

I say this To you “Have HOPE I Believe In You, That You CAN Do Anything & Never Give Up”

 
 
Comment by Anonymous
2010-01-23 14:23:52

Yo, are you JOKING? That is so gross!!!!!! Oh my god! how would you like to hear your kids fucking in the middle of night and hear moans and shit. thats beyond gross and yea it is for YOUNG people. idont give if you think you are young! omg, thats gross! ew. why would you even consider to do that when your child could walk right in and shout “Moms a whore!” because, i have done that and i have so much disrespect for her ever since that because, when your kids are home that is just plain gross. and you know they are, they could walk around and stuff and hear all the trash. this should be ILLEGAL as far as i am concerend.

 
Comment by bethany Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-08 05:32:45

i think i have herd my dad befor and one time i was at my friends house and we were pretending to sleep so then when her mom went in to shut the door we waited and then went out and her parents had not sut there door so then we saw every thin so then when we got the idea we went to have the idea to get frozen hotdogs and have sex with them it was the most amazing night ever we still do that verry speshal thing evey friday and saterday night when we hve no school… we are also savin up are money to buy one og those strap on dicks wow right now i am wotching my parents having sex there are making so much noise … oh oh ya uh faster man fast …oh man i need to get off to put this on youtube dont care if i just in trube it is not that long … ok now i know that you r thinkin i am a slut well i am the first time i had sex was at age 8 or9 and it was so nice

Comment by Alexi Stushnoff
2010-02-09 15:59:06

Sublime – Wrong Way

Annie’s twelve years old in two more she’ll be a whore nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way don’t be afraid with the quickness you’ll get laid for your family get paid it’s the wrong way

 
 
Comment by Bryce Sunduk Subscribed to comments via email
2010-02-09 16:00:33

Sublime – Wrong Way

Annie’s twelve years old in two more she’ll be a whore
nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way
don’t be afraid with the quickness you’ll get laid
for your family get paid it’s the wrong way
I gave her all that I had to give
and I’m gonna make it hard to live
soggy tears runnin’ down to her chin
and it ruins up her make up and never wanted
A cigarette pressed between her lips
but I’m staring at her tits it’s the wrong way
strong if I can but I am only a man
so I take her to the can the wrong way
the only family that she’s ever had
was her seven horny brothers and a drunk-ass dad
he needed money so he put her on the steet
everything was going fine until the day she met me
ya happy are ya sad wanna shoot your dad
I’ll do anything I can it’s the wrong way
talk all night try to make it right
belive me shit was tight it was the wrong way
don’t run away if ya wanna stay
‘cuz I ain’t here to make ya..whoa no
it’s up to you what you really wanna do
spend some time in America ha dub style
Jon Blondell solo
she’ll give you all that she got to give
but I’m gonna make it hard to live
big soggy tears rollin’ down to her chin
and it smears up her make up and never wanted
so we ran away And I’m sorry when I say
that straight to this very day it was the wrong way
she took a hike don’t matter if you like it or not
because she only wants the wrong way
I gave her all that I had to give
she still wouldn’t take it..whoa no
her two brown eyes are leaky like a sive
and it still ruins up her make up and never want give
Sublime (1996)
annie’s 12 years old in two more
she’ll be a whore, nobody ever told
her it’s the wrong way. don’t be
afraid with the quickness you get
laid for your family gets paid it’s
the wrong way.

i gave her all that i had to give,
i’m gonna make it hard to live. salty tears
running down her chin and it ruins
up her make up i never wanted,

a cigarette, pressed between her lips
but i’m staring at her tits, it’s the wrong way.
strong if i can, but i am only a man,
so i take her to the can, it’s the wrong way.
the only family that she ever had
is her 7 horny brothers and her drunk-ass dad.
he needed money so he put her on the street,
everything was going fine until the day that she met me.

happy are you sad, wanna shoot your dad
i’ll do anything i can the wrong way.
we talked all night and tried to make it right
, believe me shit was tight, it’s was the wrong way.

dont run away if you wanna stay,
cause i ain’t here to make ya’,
it’s up to you what you really wanna do,
spend some time in america, dub-style

she’ll give you all that she got to give,
but i’m gonna make it hard to live.
big salty tears rolling down to her chin
and they smear up her makeup i never wanted

so we ran away and i’m sorry when i say
that straight to this very day it was the wrong way
. she took a hike, don’t matter if i like it or not
because she only wants the wrong way.

i gave her all that i had to give,
but she still wouln’t take it, oh no.
her two brown eyes are leakin like a sieve,
and it still ruins her makeup i never wanted

Annie’s 12 years old in two more she’ll be a whore
Nobody ever told her it’s the wrong way
Don’t be afraid with the quickness you get laid for your family gets
paid
It’s the wrong way
CHORUS:
I gave her all that I had to give
I’m gonna make it hard to live
Big salty tears running down her chin
And it ruins up her make up
I never wanted
A cigarette pressed between her lips
When I’m staring at her tits
It’s the wrong way
Strong if I can but I am only a man
So I take her to the can its the wrong way
The only family she ever had
Was her 7 horny brothers and her drunk-ass dad
He needed money so he put her on the street
Everything was going fine till the day that she met me
Happy are you sad, wanna shoot your dad
I’ll do anything i can it’s the wrong way
We talked all night and tried to make it right
Believe me shit was tight
It’s the wrong way
So run away if you don’t wanna stay
Cause I ain’t here to make you
It’s up to you what you really wanna do
Spend some time in america
Dub style
(CHORUS)
So we ran away
And I’m sorry when I say that to this very day
It was the wrong way
She took a hike it don’t matter it I like it or not
Cause she only wants the wrong way
(CHORUS)

 
Comment by Caitlin
2010-02-21 09:57:46

Hi guys! Well it’s like half one in the morning and I had a big argument with my mum earlier about her and my dad. You see the first time it happened I was ten we were in Blackpool on a wee holiday and I had a great day and then we went back to the hotel and my mum and dad had a few drinks. I had went to my bed early and I remember they woke me up it was just one room so it was really loud they had obv just came in and my dad had settled down and he was asking my mum to wank him off and stuff like tht and I remember it like it was yesterday I cried for hours and was totaly I’ll for the holiday. Since then anytime I hear them, which is not often I have to admit but I’m up for hours after crying. It’s usually when they have had a wee drink. I hate everything about it and I had considered bringing it up for ages but never had the nerves. But today my dad was out at the hospitality at the football and I knew he was gonna be drunk when he came in so I kinda panicked and me and my mum are really close and my dad too but on nights like this I hate them. So my mum new I was worked up about something and asked me and I totaly flipped out told her everything and she went crazy. I was already crying but she was just screaming you make me feel cheap and how do you expect us to have a relationship and she ran away down the stairs. I was in complete shock I just cried. My dad still wasent in and my brother was panicking. She doesn’t understand how angry I get and then feel sick afterwards. I panicked when my dad came in because he saw I had been crying and my mum told him about the argument but he still tried having sex with her but she wouldn’t not after the argument so he stormed off and I went down to see my mum who was sleeping. I just don’t get why they do it I mean I know it’s natural but we stay at our grans alot and they could at least do it then ae? I’m totaly scarred for life and I’m only 12 I mean everyone talks about it at school but I can’t listen but I feel totally guilty now for bringing it up but I had to get it out if my system. I just wish that they could understand.

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI
Subscribe to comments via email
Your Comment (smaller size | larger size)
You may use <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> in your comment.
CommentLuv Enabled

Trackback responses to this post



My Advocacy


grief support after the death of a child
Grief Support in the Philippines
After the Death of a Child

filipina
FilipinaImages.com is a collaborative effort of all the bloggers who believe that The Filipina of the Future deserves a more empowered, diverse image online. Join the Filipina Image Online Campaign

suicide
Suicide prevention is everybody's business. Educate our community that suicide is a preventable public health problem in the Philippines. Suicide should no longer be considered a taboo topic, and that through raising awareness and educating the public, we can SAVE lives.