A Filipina Mom Blogger

Andrew Olmsted, also known as G’Kar the blogger, was killed yesterday in Iraq. Andy gave a friend a post to publish in the event of his death; the last revisions to it were made in July. Here is Andy’s final post. His actual blog is here. Andy must have known of his imminent death since he prepared his final post last July. Losing someone who can write well from the dreaded war zone is a tremendous loss – most people never get the chance to know how, when, and where they might probably die. Andrew knew death was a possible outcome enough to write this last post . For me, some of the most insightful parts are the following: (The quotes are from Andy and my comments are below it.)

It’s not easy asking anyone to do something for you in the event of your death, and it is a testament to her quality that she didn’t hesitate to accept the charge. As with many bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to have the last word if the need arose.

I would never ask anyone to post a final post for me. I know we will all die eventually. I guess if you’re a blogger and based in Iraq, death is a big possibility. It was Andy’s way of immortalizing his life through this last post.

But all the tears in the world aren’t going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my loss.

But we have to remember that no one is control of people’s emotions. A loved one feels the pain of the loss and crying is a normal reaction to that loss.

Believe it or not, one of the things I will miss most is not being able to blog any longer. The ability to put my thoughts on (virtual) paper and put them where people can read and respond to them has been marvelous, even if most people who have read my writings haven’t agreed with them.

Our life here on earth is very temporary. If you believe in eternal life, I bet there are more interesting activities than blogging. Blogging like Andy says feeds the ego. Do we have egos in our afterlife?

I was at least smart enough to pay attention to the people with real brains and even occasionally learn something from them. It has been joy and a pleasure having the opportunity to do this.

Ah, this is so true. Meeting bloggers is such an enjoyable experience. I learn a lot. Even if I’m 50, I still want to learn a lot of new things from the young.

We’re all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.

Even if I am blogger, I cannot imagine covering war news. To each his own I guess. My children and husband will never forgive me if I fly to some war-torn country (as if that is even possible) to cover the news there. Though death is inevitable, one can still lower the risk.

Regardless of the merits of this war, or of any war, I think that many of us in America have forgotten that war means death and suffering in wholesale lots.

I do not understand war at all. Why do people have to die this way? I hate war! Our generation and our kids’ generation have a chance to improve the past. We need to rectify some of the mistakes that have been made. I hope that we all see what we must do. Regardless of your opinions on Iraq, we need to agree that this war must be stopped. Inflicting harm on another human being is a dangerous pursuit that will surely be our undoing. I not only grieve for Andy’s death but to the parties concerned, the innocent children and civilians, the military personnel, the Americans, the Iraqis and just people in the war zone.

I wasn’t the greatest husband. I could have done so much more, a realization that, as it so often does, comes too late to matter. But I cherished every day I was married to Amanda. When everything else in my life seemed dark, she was always there to light the darkness. It is difficult to imagine my life being worth living without her having been in it. I hope and pray that she goes on without me and enjoys her life as much as she deserves. I can think of no one more deserving of happiness than her.

This part brought me to tears. Knowing death can come anytime, I value every moment I have with my loved ones. On the day my son died, we had an argument. Though we made up, I look back to that fateful day all the time and remember to give my hugs and “I love you”.

His entry is poignant. It is a gift to read Andy’s thoughts about the war. We should learn from it all.

My heartfelt condolences to his family. Parent’s shouldn’t have to bury their children. Amanda lost her wonderful husband. Any death is a loss but a good honorable man never dies. His physical body may be gone, but his life and memories live in the hearts and minds of those he touched. One day they will have sons and daughters and other friends and they will pass on the story of his life, and pass on a piece of him.

One never truly dies.

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