Do You Believe in Giving Second Chances?

Second chances?

Do you believe that someone who has caused you so much pain deserves a second chance?

Do you believe that YOU deserve a second chance?

Four years ago, I packed my bags and left my husband because I thought I wanted to start a new life without him. Grief had overtaken us so much that we were virtually strangers to each other. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine myself with a broken ankle as I stepped inside my new pad. I had no choice but to live with him and work things out. Truly God works in mysterious ways. It was as if God said ” you can’t run away from your marriage. Try to fix it. Give it a second chance

If you think that my husband is the culprit, you’re wrong. I am to blame too. It takes two to a marriage. I knew I had to take care of myself first and foremost. I had to give myself a second chance. A second chance to be a more loving wife and mother. A second chance to be more financially independent and a second chance to be a better person.

I believe second chances are possible if….

1. The person who has caused you hurt is willing to make amends and to sit down and compromise.

2. Boundaries are set. One can’t repeat the same mistake all over again but at the same time one must be aware that we should also give allowances for recovery to take place.

3. You love yourself. I’d like to believe that “You cannot give what you do not have.” I find that I am a better wife, a better mother, a more compassionate friend, after I have spent time nurturing myself.

4. You are open to the positive possibilities of the future instead of limiting the future by today’s feelings and circumstances.

5. You forgive. When we hold on to pain, old grudges, bitterness and even hatred, many aspects of our lives suffer. Through forgiveness, you choose to no longer define yourself as a victim.

It’s been four years now.

I lost weight and look so much sexier or so my husband says. My husband is overflowing with love and kisses and I feel so pampered. My children are happier with our new normal. I am financially independent.

I feel good about myself. I feel beautiful.

I want to dance to the music of the Dancing Queen. No kidding!

I continue to be a work in progress.

Yes, I feel loved. I feel blessed.

Only because I gave myself a second chance.

So do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Filed under: Recovery Principles,



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11 Comments »

Comment by Liz
2008-11-18 10:33:49

I believe in giving second chances especially if that person really is trying to make things work. Thanks for the inspiring message

Comment by Noemi
2008-11-18 11:06:39

yes and the person is sincere in making amends.

 
 
2008-11-18 15:29:04

Yes, I believe in giving second chances. People make mistakes. As you said, as long as the other party is sorry and willing to make amends, I see nothing wrong about giving that person another chance. I don’t want to disregard all the good things a person has done because of one wrong doing.

Rach (Heart of Rachel)s last blog post..Yohan’s Eye Infection

Comment by Noemi
2008-11-18 17:27:35

right work on the good side and help the person remove that bad or negative side.

 
 
Comment by BrianB
2008-11-19 10:45:11

Like this back link:
http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2007/06/08/on-husbands-and-their-caves/

I realize I’ve been living in my cave for the past four-five years. And I growl too.

I think that men settle things by thinking about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s got little to do with feelings. We believe that most of the time people’s feelings get hurt through misunderstandings or even accidents. Women on the other hand always think it’s no accident when their feelings get hurt, even when it’s no one’s fault.

Comment by Noemi
2008-11-19 10:55:40

men often find solutions. women want to talk about their feelings. Good thing my husband doesn’t go to the cave that often….

 
 
Comment by rhodora
2008-11-19 10:50:10

We are working on this second chance, Noemi. Thank you for sharing this very inspiring post. :)

Comment by Noemi
2008-11-19 10:52:22

I wish you the best! Hope you are recovering well.

 
 
Comment by Gigi
2008-11-24 20:57:47

I almost left my husband a few months ago… It was a low point in our marriage – but WE both gave it a second chance! Now, it’s ll about embracing everything that comes our way with love! Thanks for sharing this post. :)

Gigis last blog post..Off to Active Fun

 
Comment by luisa
2008-11-25 07:42:28

i believe in second chances with all my heart…

luisas last blog post..Tired but grateful

 
Comment by rolly07
2008-12-09 23:33:00

Everyone deserves a second chance. =)

 
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