Comments on: Where to Seek Help: Domestic Abuse & Violence Against Women in the Philippines http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/ Parenting, Health, Wellnes, Family& New Media Sun, 21 Mar 2010 14:23:21 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: imee http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-284504 imee Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:01:06 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-284504 im now staying overseas with my hubby and baby,but i can't help myself to to worry about my love ones in Philippines especially my mom..Recently,around 19 or 20th of january,2010,sinaktan na naman ng daddy ko ang mama ko.Gusto kong magsumbong at ipakulong na sya para matapos na ang paghihirap ng mga kapatid at mama ko doon..All these years,pinapanalangin ko na sana magbago na daddy ko,pero hinde,paulit ulit pa rin nyang sinasaktan kundi mama ko ay mga kapatid ko.Isinusumpa ko sya,at talagang gusto ko na syang maparusahan..Magmula pagkabata,namulat na kaming lahat sa panggugulpi nya,kaya ng makatapos ako ng high school,mas pinili kong mag trabaho na agad para makalayo sa bahay at malayo sa pananakit nya..Akala ko magbabago sya,pagkatapos kong gawin lahat para makatulong sa pamilya namin,mapunan ang mga pagkukulang na sya ang dapat na gumagawa,pero hinde pa rin pala,kahit siguro sa huling sandali nya,di pa rin sya magbabago..Sa inyo po,tulungan nyo po ako,diko napo alam gagawin ko,di ko napo kayang manahimik na lang at hintaying may masamang mangyari sa pamilya ko. Ang di ko lang po kasi alam ay kung payag din po ang mama ko na isumbong na sya at maipakulong,dahil sa ngayon po,ang tanging sahod po ng daddy ko ang inaasahan nila..Please do help me,what should i do??? im now staying overseas with my hubby and baby,but i can’t help myself to to worry about my love ones in Philippines especially my mom..Recently,around 19 or 20th of january,2010,sinaktan na naman ng daddy ko ang mama ko.Gusto kong magsumbong at ipakulong na sya para matapos na ang paghihirap ng mga kapatid at mama ko doon..All these years,pinapanalangin ko na sana magbago na daddy ko,pero hinde,paulit ulit pa rin nyang sinasaktan kundi mama ko ay mga kapatid ko.Isinusumpa ko sya,at talagang gusto ko na syang maparusahan..Magmula pagkabata,namulat na kaming lahat sa panggugulpi nya,kaya ng makatapos ako ng high school,mas pinili kong mag trabaho na agad para makalayo sa bahay at malayo sa pananakit nya..Akala ko magbabago sya,pagkatapos kong gawin lahat para makatulong sa pamilya namin,mapunan ang mga pagkukulang na sya ang dapat na gumagawa,pero hinde pa rin pala,kahit siguro sa huling sandali nya,di pa rin sya magbabago..Sa inyo po,tulungan nyo po ako,diko napo alam gagawin ko,di ko napo kayang manahimik na lang at hintaying may masamang mangyari sa pamilya ko. Ang di ko lang po kasi alam ay kung payag din po ang mama ko na isumbong na sya at maipakulong,dahil sa ngayon po,ang tanging sahod po ng daddy ko ang inaasahan nila..Please do help me,what should i do???

]]> By: Farah http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-284027 Farah Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:10:12 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-284027 my father is a typical abuser, he will verbally abuse (curse us) and the next day, He gave us money for shopping and so whatever. My Mom also a battered wife, the same thing he do to us, abuse then be good on the next day. My mom keep this for almost 3 years, and lately My father show physical abuse in front of us (children). I was so shocked, and so afraid, i always cry everytime he abuse my mom. to make my story short, My father chocked me and i told my mom that we will file case against him. Violation of RA9262 and Attemptd Parricide. i dont know what will happen next? Serving Justice in Philippines is so slow. anyway, please Pray for us, we need strength and presence of mind because this may take a long time. thanks RA9262. ^^ my father is a typical abuser, he will verbally abuse (curse us) and the next day, He gave us money for shopping and so whatever. My Mom also a battered wife, the same thing he do to us, abuse then be good on the next day. My mom keep this for almost 3 years, and lately My father show physical abuse in front of us (children). I was so shocked, and so afraid, i always cry everytime he abuse my mom. to make my story short, My father chocked me and i told my mom that we will file case against him. Violation of RA9262 and Attemptd Parricide. i dont know what will happen next? Serving Justice in Philippines is so slow. anyway, please Pray for us, we need strength and presence of mind because this may take a long time. thanks RA9262. ^^

]]> By: val http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-283720 val Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:41:46 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-283720 how can I keep withstanding this psychological and emmotional abuse with out loosing my self worth? I can't leave him because I need his medical insurance and have become his maid giving up my career which will be difficult to get back into. He has driven me to do crazy things that he later uses against me. I must be strong. How do I do it? how can I keep withstanding this psychological and emmotional abuse with out loosing my self worth? I can’t leave him because I need his medical insurance and have become his maid giving up my career which will be difficult to get back into. He has driven me to do crazy things that he later uses against me. I must be strong. How do I do it?

]]> By: val http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-283719 val Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:32:25 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-283719 my husband verbaly abuses me and it is driving me crazy. I can't leave him because I need his medical insurance. I have given up my profession and now I am not updated and would have to be retrained. I woke up this morning to being told to shut the fuck up. Help my husband verbaly abuses me and it is driving me crazy. I can’t leave him because I need his medical insurance. I have given up my profession and now I am not updated and would have to be retrained. I woke up this morning to being told to shut the fuck up. Help

]]> By: Anonymous http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-283266 Anonymous Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:11:59 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-283266 Hi, It's kindda a strange question, but what if instead of a woman, a man is a victim of domestic abuse what can he do? The situation is : he is verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and to some lesser extent physically abused. now he is also receiving most of the treatment his mom used to receive. he has to justify almost all of his actions, decisions... they manipilate the situation so they have "reason" to get angry eg. he is ask to give instructions to a worker, but only given vague details, then before he can clarify, he is requested to summon the worker and give the instructions.... then when he does not instruct properly --due to lack of info-- he is then scolded for being unable to give instructions clearly.... He is not banned technically from working for others, but their actions, temperment,etc. suggest such... thus he is financially dependent to a certain extent eg. Last time he tried, his dad visited his workplace every evening.... and was always bombarded with "we need peaple in our family business.... why do work here" etc. he had to stop after a month at work there seem to be all or a lot of signs of an abusive relationship *belittling *insensitivity-- when he protested about not being able to eat healthy he was told that he(dad) had lived long enough already and if his(dad) life is shortened to 10 more year he would not mind-- he (dad) would like to enjoy the food another time: he told him(dad) that asbestos powder can cause cancer, coz he(dad) was working with it in the office-- he(dad) answered, we need the money and if I live just a little longer that's okay with me...--- but what about the other people with him(dad) *blaming *apologizing then repeating again *insults *misinformation and trying to drive him crazy *making him appear wrong/bad *etc trying to talk to them seems to be of no use-- they will not talk about it, kindda... Where can he seek help? He tried a psychiatrist, helped a little but enraged his brother, so now he keeps on boasting that he's going to undo what the doct did for him( the abused) and makes life harder for him( the abused).... Hi,

It’s kindda a strange question, but what if instead of a woman, a man is a victim of domestic abuse what can he do?

The situation is :

he is verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and to some lesser extent physically abused.

now he is also receiving most of the treatment his mom used to receive.

he has to justify almost all of his actions, decisions…

they manipilate the situation so they have “reason” to get angry

eg.
he is ask to give instructions to a worker, but only given vague
details, then before he can clarify, he is requested to summon the
worker and give the instructions….

then when he does not instruct properly –due to lack of info– he is
then scolded for being unable to give instructions clearly….

He is not banned technically from working for others, but their actions, temperment,etc. suggest such… thus he is financially dependent to a certain extent

eg.
Last time he tried, his dad visited his workplace every evening….
and was always bombarded with “we need peaple in our family
business…. why do work here” etc. he had to stop after a month at
work

there seem to be all or a lot of signs of an abusive relationship

*belittling
*insensitivity– when he protested about not being able to eat healthy he was told that he(dad) had lived long enough already and if his(dad) life is shortened to 10 more year he would not mind– he (dad) would like to enjoy the food

another time: he told him(dad) that asbestos powder can cause cancer, coz he(dad) was working with it in the office– he(dad) answered, we need the money and if I live just a little longer that’s okay with me…— but what about the other people with him(dad)

*blaming
*apologizing then repeating again
*insults
*misinformation and trying to drive him crazy
*making him appear wrong/bad
*etc

trying to talk to them seems to be of no use– they will not talk about it, kindda…

Where can he seek help?

He tried a psychiatrist, helped a little but enraged his brother, so now he keeps on boasting that he’s going to undo what the doct did for him( the abused) and makes life harder for him( the abused)….

]]> By: tweetledums http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-282782 tweetledums Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:22:39 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-282782 hi. ive never been hit. but i feel that i have died inside for all the verbal and emotional abuse i got from him. from being useless and shallow and being intimidated to leave the house.... i got it. and people laugh at my sentiments for he is a perfectly responsible father.. 1. where do i go for verbal abuse? the silent yet more painful abuse... 2. i loved him but i am so tired now. tired of pleasing him so he would simply say that im not stupid. 3. i want to know what i can do... i.e. i already tried talking to him a hundred times only to be told that it was all my fault. hi. ive never been hit. but i feel that i have died inside for all the verbal and emotional abuse i got from him. from being useless and shallow and being intimidated to leave the house…. i got it. and people laugh at my sentiments for he is a perfectly responsible father..

1. where do i go for verbal abuse? the silent yet more painful abuse…
2. i loved him but i am so tired now. tired of pleasing him so he would simply say that im not stupid.
3. i want to know what i can do… i.e. i already tried talking to him a hundred times only to be told that it was all my fault.

]]> By: betchai http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-282337 betchai Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:57:59 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-282337 hi. just wanna ask what if the beating is initiated by both? cos wen the husband beats the wife the wife beats him back as well cause of too much pain not only physically but also emotionally. would the violence that the wife gets from her husband is still gonna be considered under RA 9262? would the wife still gets protection against this kind of situation. i actually speak on behalf of a friend who badly needs help. she doesnt know if she's gonna get the right to be protected and to file a case against her husband? cos she got herself so confused about everything that happened. there is also a history of having a third party on the husband's side. they broke up for almost 5 months got back together now for almost a year but of course, they're in this shaky and "trying-to-work-things-out" kind of relationship. problem is instead of working things out together, it turned out that they've entered another level of marriage issue which is much more complicated and worst. pls help. it would be very much appreciated. tnx hi. just wanna ask what if the beating is initiated by both? cos wen the husband beats the wife the wife beats him back as well cause of too much pain not only physically but also emotionally. would the violence that the wife gets from her husband is still gonna be considered under RA 9262? would the wife still gets protection against this kind of situation. i actually speak on behalf of a friend who badly needs help. she doesnt know if she’s gonna get the right to be protected and to file a case against her husband? cos she got herself so confused about everything that happened. there is also a history of having a third party on the husband’s side. they broke up for almost 5 months got back together now for almost a year but of course, they’re in this shaky and “trying-to-work-things-out” kind of relationship. problem is instead of working things out together, it turned out that they’ve entered another level of marriage issue which is much more complicated and worst. pls help. it would be very much appreciated. tnx

]]> By: orange http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-282008 orange Tue, 18 Aug 2009 09:25:04 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-282008 I have a close friend who is experiencing the same. Marital rape, physical abuse, name it. We have already reported the case to the nearest police station and have called them once. However, when they arrived at the house, they can't seem to do anything but watch while the husband act like everything is alright and nothing has happened. They even said that they can't do anything about it since it's already their marriage problem. Now my friend has lost her confidence with the police. I want to help her out but I really dont know how. Please help. Thanks. I have a close friend who is experiencing the same. Marital rape, physical abuse, name it. We have already reported the case to the nearest police station and have called them once. However, when they arrived at the house, they can’t seem to do anything but watch while the husband act like everything is alright and nothing has happened. They even said that they can’t do anything about it since it’s already their marriage problem. Now my friend has lost her confidence with the police. I want to help her out but I really dont know how. Please help. Thanks.

]]> By: cammie http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-281904 cammie Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:42:59 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-281904 how about battered husbands? women beating their husbands are somewhat rarer cases than vice-versa but are their any laws protecting battered men? how about battered husbands? women beating their husbands are somewhat rarer cases than vice-versa but are their any laws protecting battered men?

]]> By: mitch http://aboutmyrecovery.com/2009/03/10/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/comment-page-1/#comment-281639 mitch Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:10:08 +0000 http://aboutmyrecovery.com/?p=4977#comment-281639 My husband and I just had a fight as usual the same story you all posted here- domestic violence. I've been thinking of how to end this misery but I can't find people to approach to and where to go. Upon reading your site and knowing the right of women against violence I think I have now the idea. I still have a problem though- financial support from him. We both are willing to separate but the problem is he wants to see me helpless without his financial support and I don't want that to happen since I have 3 kids to raise. Is there a way that I could ask for financial support from him legally? Where do I go? I hope that I can get answers from you soon and I would really appreciate it. Thanks and best regards. My husband and I just had a fight as usual the same story you all posted here- domestic violence. I’ve been thinking of how to end this misery but I can’t find people to approach to and where to go. Upon reading your site and knowing the right of women against violence I think I have now the idea. I still have a problem though- financial support from him. We both are willing to separate but the problem is he wants to see me helpless without his financial support and I don’t want that to happen since I have 3 kids to raise. Is there a way that I could ask for financial support from him legally? Where do I go? I hope that I can get answers from you soon and I would really appreciate it. Thanks and best regards.

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