Do you feel trapped or helpless? Do you feel like inaapi ka (you were victimized)?
If I have learned anything from my past, it was my awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances. Shoulders bent, head down, I shuffled through life taking these blows.
How many of you felt you have been the victim of unfortunate circumstances, real or imagined?
At one point in our lives, we may have been victimized or allowed ourselves to be victimized. There are times we might have sought out, created or re-created situations that victimized us.
Consider these scenarios.
Oh you got a new laptop? Yes, the victim sighs. But it doesn’t run as well as I expected and after all it cost so much.
Congrats you got promoted! The victim then sighs again, But there is such a price to pay for success. All that paperwork.
You have such a lovely condominium. The victim moans, Thanks, but I wanted a bigger floor area.
Victimization can turn out to be so habitual that one may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to them.
Some victims actually thought it was normal that people mistreated them. They actually believed that they deserved the mistreatment. They may have been attracted to people who mistreated them.
How does one stop being trapped as a victim?
1. One needs to let go of the need to be victimized or to be victims.
2. One needs to let go of the need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships and even in friendships.
3. Believe that you deserve better. It is your right. When you believe in your right to happiness, you will have happiness.
4. Let go of the belief that life is so hard, so awful or so difficult and replace that belief with a healthier and more realistic view.
Just liberate yourself by letting go of your need to be a victim and explore the freedom to take care of yourself.