Are You A Victim? Real or Imagined?

Do you feel trapped or helpless? Do you feel like inaapi ka (you were victimized)?

If I have learned anything from my past, it was my awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances. Shoulders bent, head down, I shuffled through life taking these blows.

How many of you felt you have been the victim of unfortunate circumstances, real or imagined?

At one point in our lives, we may have been victimized or allowed ourselves to be victimized. There are times we might have sought out, created or re-created situations that victimized us.

Consider these scenarios.

Oh you got a new laptop? Yes, the victim sighs. But it doesn’t run as well as I expected and after all it cost so much.

Congrats you got promoted! The victim then sighs again, But there is such a price to pay for success. All that paperwork.

You have such a lovely condominium. The victim moans, Thanks, but I wanted a bigger floor area.

Victimization can turn out to be so habitual that one may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to them.

Some victims actually thought it was normal that people mistreated them. They actually believed that they deserved the mistreatment. They may have been attracted to people who mistreated them.

How does one stop being trapped as a victim?

1. One needs to let go of the need to be victimized or to be victims.

2. One needs to let go of the need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships and even in friendships.

3. Believe that you deserve better. It is your right. When you believe in your right to happiness, you will have happiness.

4. Let go of the belief that life is so hard, so awful or so difficult and replace that belief with a healthier and more realistic view.

Just liberate yourself by letting go of your need to be a victim and explore the freedom to take care of yourself.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1346 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

The comments posted on my blog are moderated. I reserve the right to remove comments, words or phrases that are defamatory, abusive, incite hatred and advertise an email address or commercial services or just plain spammy. I also reserve the right to remove posts that to my opinion are off-topic, irrelevant, ad-hominem, personal attacks and or just plain rude.
  • http://jencc.wordpress.com jencc

    hi noemi, this is a great post! i don’t know if it’s because we’re pinoys we think we are inferior. we have so many great qualities, we should be happy for ourselves!!

    sometimes i forget, so i always try to remind myself that i am worth it!

    jenccs last blog post..Namaste

    • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

      I learned the hard way and realized that I had choices pala.

  • http://www.pensivethoughts.com Tetcha Gregorio-Figuerres

    Hi, Ms. Noemi!

    Yes, I think we have all become victims of circumstances one way or the other. When we have no control over the situation, we just have to learn from it and see the good in that experience. But if we’re able to control the victimization, then by all means, we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be victimized, although this is easier said than done. Thanks for your great tips!

    Tetcha Gregorio-Figuerress last blog post..Little Mr. Congeniality

  • http://cza.livejournal.com cza

    “Some victims actually thought it was normal that people mistreated them. They actually believed that they deserved the mistreatment. “

    wow. this really hit me biiiig time. thank you for your thoughts.. I just realized that I should definitely stop feeling like i’m a victim. 🙂

    -cza (http://cza.livejournal.com

    czas last blog post..Gifts Gifts

    • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

      That’s why it is best to stop being a victim to stop the real or imagined abuse.