The last few days took my breath away. Nothing can ever prepare me whenever triggers of my loved ones’ memories hit me. I have never spoken of the 5 deaths in my family in a span of one hour. Truly, the death of my loved ones shifted the whole foundation of my life. Nothing is as it was.

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“If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” Luijoe asked. My six-year-old was lying on the bed, flipping through the prayer books piled on his tummy.

It was Holy Week, a month before that fateful day of May 27, 2000, the day he drowned in a beach resort in Cebu.

I turned my body to face his and stroked his cheek. How could I explain the mysteries of death to a little boy? “When we die, Lui, we will live forever, through eternal life in heaven,” I said the lines I’d memorized from the teachings of our Catholic Church.

“When I die, I will be alive again!” he exclaimed, jumping in bed, arms wide in exuberance.

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Every Good Friday was just like any other day for me. The streets are empty. Everything is still. At 3:00 PM, I’d bow my head in prayer and reflect on Jesus’ death. That is before the death of my son. I never knew what it felt to be the mother of Jesus, losing a son until of course, I lost my precious son 8 years ago. Even if Mother Mary knew that Jesus died to save us, she was just as inconsolable as any mother who lost a child. My son was “clinically dead” when I got to him and I did not see him suffer. Not that I am diminishing my own pain but I bet Mother Mary suffered one thousand times more than I did for every nail and insult given to her beloved son.

How does this pain feel? Imagine…

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I first met Bill on December 20, 2006 through his blog entries of Anne Sherina. His pain is all too familiar. For most bereaved parents I know, not being able to touch, to hold, to embrace our child is the most painful reality we have to face. The emptiness of our arms, the indescribable longing to have those arms filled again with our precious child, are almost more than we can bear.

An exchange of text messages, emails and instant messaging kept us in touch for the past year until a few days ago, a pleasant surprise through a scanned newspaper clipping awaited in my inbox.

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Tis the season to be jolly…fa-la-la-la-la. Right, it may be a season to be jolly for most of us but there are a few out there who experience the holiday blues for so many reasons. I can see it in the emails I receive. I am not a counselor but for some reason, more and more visitors email me asking for advice for all sorts of reason. Of course, their questions are for my eyes only. They are sad, lonely and depressed. The suicide rate is even the highest during this holiday season. How I wish I could help but I am not a professional counselor though I can offer friendly advice. I’ve gathered a few tips for those feeling the holiday blues. As you might know, the holiday blues is defined as a feeling of sadness, loneliness, depression and even anxiety that often occur in and around the holiday season.” You or your loved one might be having a temporary spell of the blues without knowing it. There is nothing abnormal about having the “holiday blues,” which are more like a mood than any sort of lasting condition. Depression, anxiety, and other psychological symptoms are associated with the holidays because this season brings back memories of a happier time in our lives.

Who experiences the Blues?

People who might be at risk for feeling blue at the holidays include:

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At 7:00 PM, The Compassionate Friends held the 11th Worldwide Candle Lighting event at the Ateneo Loyola Schools.

Our Candle Lighting Service is done with love,
A tribute to our children who have gone on above.
We light our candles so others will know,
We remember our children and we still love them so.

We will continue to cherish our children so dear,
Through this service of remembrance we have every year.
We validate the high place of honor our children still claim,
As with acclamations of pride we honor their names.

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