At the heart of this farm, there lies a gazebo and lovely patios where my husband I sat under the gentle canopies of stately mango trees, some of which are over 50 years old! We revel even more at the elegance of this veritable tree garden, teeming with a multitude of capiz drop lights and strategically placed spotlights that dramatically emphasize the features of mango trees.

Holding hands, we strolled the farm and stopped under a mango tree. I laid my head on his shoulder, “This is it”.

“Let’s celebrate our silver anniversary here”. My ever romantic husband pressed his lips at the back of my palm and agreed, of course. That was two years ago with a budget fit for semi-grand anniversary celebration. We had also moved in to our new cozy home near this farm.

Alas, the Ondoy flood damaged all of our three cars . The budget for a silver anniversary celebration had to be scrapped in order to replace the cars and the damage to our home. Priorities need to be established here.

Oh well, I am such a sucker for anniversaries- “first time we met anniversary”, “couple anniversary”, and of course wedding anniversaries. I believe that an anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow. ”

It is not that I want to brag to my friends that “hey, we lasted this long” but it is more of “Wow, we have reached this far. Let’s celebrate the joys and the sorrows. ”

As Mignon McLaughlin would say, ” A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Falling in love is not easy especially when that person can get annoying. But at the same time, it is so gratifying to find that one special person I want to annoy for the rest of my life. He can be very annoying too. It is good to celebrate how we’ve tolerated our annoying selves.

Mark Twain also added,” No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

The quarter of a century celebration of our love could not have come at a more inconvenient time, the colorful election season. Not even Blog Watch can bother us that day.

We will celebrate our love in the time of election, even if it falls just a day before the May 10, 2010. Even if it is not in that lovely farm. We will celebrate.

He reserved a venue.

I am touched beyond words.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

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Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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The aftermath of the Best Friends Forever Reunion left me in a contemplative mood for days. Friends remarked that I was quiet, conservative and feminine in the past so the revelation of “a true confession” caused jaw-dropping looks. At a high school reunion, I laughed when former teachers thought I was Lorna, my elder sister. What a forgettable student I was! I don’t blame them. It was true anyway. Looking at myself today, I don’t recognize the person I once was. Still, I thought of checking out that forgettable person and affirm the good that is happening in my life today.

Best Friends Forever Reunion 2009

I unearthed my “baul”, a box full of treasured memories like old photos, memorabilia and diaries written since I was 10 years old. During the reunion, I confessed to the ex that I still kept the diary during the years we were together. Horrified, he told me to dispose of it. I shrugged. It was the past, nothing incriminating and everything written was pure and innocent. For some reason, I should have thrown it when I got married. I dumped all the letters, gifts and photos in the trash bin but I kept the diaries. Now I know why I didn’t throw the diaries. No, it was not to reminisce the memories of first love and that of my ex-boyfriend now my husband.

I pulled my diaries out from the cobwebs of the musty “baul” and began to leaf through the pages, now yellowed after 34 years. For the next few days, I poured over the poignant memories. I’m not a very profound writer and I scribbled about things I did that day or week with my family, my boyfriend or my groupies. Both things of significance and not. My diary detailed the life of my family when we were still complete. My mom, already sick of breast cancer in 1975 suddenly came alive in the stories I wrote about her. My departed siblings, Oscar and Ruben ,the clowns of the family and my dad sprang to life as I read the “Dear Diary” entries. I felt a tugging in my heart,a deep longing for my departed loved ones as I got transported back to 1975. For one brief moment, images of their smiles and antics kept me in a cheerful mood.

Wiping the tears away I continued to read on and discovered so many aspects of my life that I have totally forgotten. I reflected once again after reading my diaries from the years 1975 to 1979 ( the 17 to 19 year old years). My discoveries?

19 years old

1. I had inferiority complex

Oh dear. I was so insecure of my looks that I always thought my boyfriend would dump me for a prettier girl. It didn’t appease me even after my ex-boyfriend assured me I was beautiful, and a very loving and caring person. I knew so little of the opposite sex then. The “Oh he doesn’t love me anymore….I want to break off… He has another girl.” reeked of low self-esteem. The tantrums I threw at my boyfriend were all due to this insecurity and I think that’s one of the reason I broke off with the first one. I can’t believe how low I thought of myself.

2. I was a prayerful person

I loved seeing the prayers I wrote for the special people in my life. I think it showed that I really cared for their welfare. I closed my diary entries with a prayer, and often implored to God to protect my loved ones. Yes, I still pray today but I don’t write it down anymore. I think I should continue this practice.

3. I played the musical organ and piano

I haven’t touched the piano or keyboard for years. I can see how music soothed my fragile spirit back then. If I felt unloved, I dabbled with Mark Lester’s “Where is Love?”. When my mood shifted to joy, I’d play the upbeat Barry White’s “Love’s Theme” or Isaac Hayes “Shaft”. If I felt my inferiority complex kicking in, I turned to Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman”.

Instead of just listening to the records, I was at the center of the musical piece actively expressing my emotions in largo, pianissimo or forte. At the reunion, a classmate asked me to play a piece because he knew I played the piano back then but I couldn’t remember a single piece. I felt really sad that I didn’t continue this hobby of mine.

4. I am/was Cariñosa – loving or affectionate

I heard this description often repeated by the ex and my ex-boyfriend (now husband) and I believe it is one of my finer qualities. I didn’t realize that I totally lost it at the height of our grief. When we consulted a grief therapist back in 2005, I heard my husband telling me how much he missed my “Cariñosa” ways. I turned into a cold person, probably trying to numb the pain of losing a son but in turn shutting down my finer qualities.

Today, that insecure person is totally gone. I feel beautiful, confident and having the time of my life but I believe I should carry on being a prayerful person, playing musical instruments and retaining my loving and affectionate nature. I don’t think I will throw away my diaries anytime soon. They are precious memories of my past and shows my growth after struggling with painful experiences.

The diaries are indeed a blessing in that I can now look back and reflect on how much I’ve grown in my faith and walk. It is a blessing to be able to look back and see the innocent prayers I scribbled down. I had no idea how God would bring certain things to pass. I didn’t realize it then but the heartaches and pains I struggled through were answers to some of my prayers which brought about my growth or the growth of that special someone dear to me.

So I continue to affirm the good in my life and learn the lessons from the past.

1. I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful.
2. My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.
3. I’m glad I am alive today.
4. I give out Love and it is returned to me multiplied.
5. Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
6. I have a wonderful husband and we are both happy and at peace.
7. I choose to make positive healthy choices for myself.
8. I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.
9. I attract only healthy relationships
10. I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds

Did (or do) you keep a paper journal? It is a good thing to do, and you will be blessed by it.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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UP College Cebu , 1974

My mediocre grades in high school were not enough to qualify me to the UP Diliman Campus. I was determined to take up college in Manila to gain independence from my sheltered life in Cebu and of course, get the BS Food Technology that was only offered there. I studied in UP College Cebu (UPCC) in 1974 for one year before moving to UP DIliman campus in my sophomore year where I finally got a 1.75 grade to qualify. I look back to my freshman year with a smile and a soft spot in my heart. Indeed a memorable year for me because it was the first time I gained a little freedom to be with friends and to socialize with guys after graduating from an all-girls school since kindergarten. I felt I finally belonged to a group that truly cared and loved me and by fate (via Dicoy’s Cupid machinations), one of them became my (first) boyfriend, my first love for the next 3 years.

Reunions are inevitable and I declined the invitation just as I did with my high school reunions. My attitude towards reunions changed in the recent years after I evolved into a better person. I then became curious of my friends. What had become of them? I felt something missing in my life and wanted to reconnect with my past. This change of heart did not augur well with my husband. He didn’t understand why I needed to see my old friends (when he himself does not attend reunions) and in the process, “meet” my ex. Hugging my husband, I reassured him that it is all in the past. I cannot help it if he was my classmate, part of my barkada but I am there for my other friends. For goodness sake, it’s been like 31 years? I rolled my eyes as “Batman” retreated to his cave.

Freshman Year, UP College of Cebu 1974. Guess where I am?

I know it sounds like a cheesy Sharon Cuneta movie, but our group coined “Best Friends Forever” as the group name for the UP Cebu College 1974-1978 alumni.

From August 13 till August 15, I re-discovered friendships and the beauty of Cebu. I hated Cebu for many years because traveling there meant having to bury a family member. Yes, 5 family members. Even my son died there. Sometimes in life, we just have to let go of our demons to acquire inner peace. I can work right where I am , right within myself, because the more peace I have within my own life, the more I can reflect into the outer situation. One preparation of inner peace is the right attitude toward life. This meant – stop being an escapist!

I was excited as I checked in at homey Casa Escano Bed and Breakfast owned by Uding’s family.

August 13- Welcome Dinner

Click to enlarge

I cannot begin to describe the laughter and the shrieks of delight as we feasted on Cebu Lechon and danced (Tony did) to Michael Jackson songs at Robert’s house. The heavens seemed to be one with us, as not a single drop of rain fell on the outdoor patio. Just the day before, rains lashed upon this Queen City of the South. The stars stood out as if smiling along with us. Oh how I missed so many parties at Robert’s house because my parents were so strict back then. There I was, being teased to the ex but I smiled and shrugged like I always did when the gang did that in the past. Some quirks never die.

Once again , “Best Friends Forever” reunited and got lost in the frolic and fun just as if it was 1974.

August 14- Southern Exposure

But it was business first as the UPCC Dean presented Future Plans for the college. The college population was just 30 back then and now it’s 1,000. There is so much room for growth in this lovely campus.

It’s probably been more than 30 years since I ventured to Carcar- Argao- Dalagit- Sibunga but I felt this Southern Exposure was not just a fun outing but a symbol of our growing spirituality in our lives even if some of us are not Catholics. Passing through Talisay reminded me of the family beach house during my high school days.

Simala’s Monastery of Holy Eucharist

I am not a devout Catholic but whenever I visit these old baroque churches, I feel suddenly so “holy” and at peace. The Monastery of the Holy Eucharist is home to the Lady Of Fatima which is known to shed tears and bring miracles. I was not there for a miracle though as I prayed and lighted candles for my own special intentions : Love , peace and prosperity in my life and for the Philippines.

St. Michael Archangel Church in Argao, the construction this beautiful rococo-baroque church structure started in 1734 and was completed in 1788

Coincidentally, the St. Michael Archangel happens to be my husband’s patron saint. St. Michael Archangel is depicted in the paintings and sculptures outside and inside this beautiful church. Ever since my son passed away, we think of him as an angel with God.

August 15- Pandanon Island Adventure

Pandanon island is far from Mactan resorts and its more accessible islands, It is part of the archipelago of North Bohol and is politically appended to Getafe.

There is nothing pretentious or fancy about this paradise in the middle of the sea, the Pandanon Island , pretty much the same description I’d give the “Best Friends Forever”. Traveling via a motorized banca from Mactan Island, we made use of the travel time to reminisce about our past..the out of town trips, the teachers, the cliques, the crushes, the unrequited love and so much more that will just have to remain within the confines of that short boat ride. (yes, too bad you were not there) Feasting on “puso” (rice boiled in coconut fronds), Lechon manok, kilawin, Sinugbang Nukos (grilled squid), a fiesta atmosphere on board our humble picnic area marked another celebration of our friendship that continues to be no-frills yet meaningful and deep.

I sat back and relaxed on the lounging chair at Pandanon Island and peered over at my friends, laughing and being child-like just the way we were. I reflected on the significance of this reunion to my life.

Being with my “Best Friends Forever” Group or old friends help nurture my inner child of the present which we all need to do the rest of our lives…the fun loving, happy, frivolous, joyful, humorous moments when I was once young and unsophisticated, even if replaced with a sophisticated, mature and more serious me. It exists in my memory or subconscious because of the poignant memories of my past that helped shape my present motivation and future drive.

There is more to be said of our reunion but must be left unspoken here because it is just between “Best Friends Forever” and myself. But I will leave you with some lessons learned from this memorable “Best Friends Forever” Reunion.

1. Take time to play and have fun each day.
2. Be honest with others about your thoughts and feelings.
3. Enjoy the fruits of your labor with no guilt feelings.
4. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
5. Set limits on how you are going to relate to others.
6. Not to be so serious, intense and inflexible about life.
7. It is OK to make mistakes, laugh at them and carry on.
8. A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.
9. Prayer helps us refine and affirm what we want out of life.

And most importantly, “A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart”.

Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown

PS. As soon as I arrived in Manila, the “batman” left his cave and gave me a loving hug. All is well. ——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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View of St. Theresa’s College (STC) Cebu grounds

Is there life after high school? Truth is, I hated high school and because I hated it so much, I made sure that I would turn my life around and be a better and confident person in college. I exuded negativity. Oh my gosh, I was ecstatic when the high school graduation ceremony ended. I jumped up with joy. I couldn’t wait to fly and spread my wings. In high school, I was painfully shy and a mediocre student with average grades ( as in 83 to 85). I felt intimidated by the mestizas and the smart and outspoken girls. You know how it is in high school, you find the popular clique and the invisible clique. I was basically invisible. Thanks to my best friend Teresa, Patsy, Linell and a few others, I think I belonged somehow to a group. Without them, high school would have been one hell of an experience. Thanks buddies.

Hugs to my bestest of friends in High School who took me in their clique: Patsy, Linell, me, Teresa

Now, I am not blaming the popular clique just because they were confident , pretty and smart girls. I was not a confident person and it took me years to grow out of my shell. I blossomed in UP Diliman. While in high school, I got 3 votes as a class officer much to my disappointment, but in my UP College of Home Economics, I garnered majority votes and ended up in the First UP Student Council after martial law. It baffled me why my high school peers never saw my potential through my timid shell. I guess I was already labeled as such and the popular girls were always looked up to. Of course, they didn’t know that because they were living in their own world like I did.

So do people ever recover from that intense high school social experience? Some don’t, they spend the rest of their lives trying to justify what they were, or were not, in high school. This is why high school reunions are so emotional, especially the first one. I refused to attend the 25th High School reunion because I was not ready to face that dreaded high school experience once again. Coupled with five deaths in Cebu, I felt Cebu was just bad news for me and going home was not an option at that point.

Then the 35th Coral Reunion was announced. As usual, I shrugged with indifference. But hey, I reflected. What is there to gain by not attending? I am more confident now. I smile more. I feel beautiful inside and out. I am in control of my attitude. I feel like I am on top of the world. Go,go, my conscience egged on. Sure, I have no control over the past, people’s quirks and the place (Cebu).. I looked forward to seeing my old buddies and the popular girls and hearing their life stories.

I went and I have no regrets. I finally understood that it was not high school that made it a sad experience for me. It was just me, my attitude. I didn’t realize my potential in high school. My time came in my late forties. Yes, a late bloomer.

There I was with my high school classmates who I have avoided for years. Not feeling like an outcast anymore. I was no longer invisible. That is because I believed in myself. It is the first time that I saw some classmates after 35 years. From all the antics and fun fare of hugging everybody, to all the endless beso-beso, the non stop posing for all the photo-ops, squeals of laughter and merry making, and mirth, to the loud and raucous laughter of classmates, I felt glad to be there and embrace this momentous affair. My gosh, I let my hair down. I danced to the tune of Dancing Queen, sashaying to the macarena beat, wearing plunging necklines or simply being game with all the wackiness and antics thrown here and there.

My classmates gave the most memorable reunion activities. Kudos to them all. Take note of the wacky and creative ideas that we enjoyed. Allow me to borrow some of the words of Tess as she describes the people behind the success of the reunion.

1. To our congresswoman classmate, Neri Soon-Ruiz for the for the first night accommodation and dinner, the yummy bibingka, suman, and masi, and the crazy beauty pageant complete with a “surprise number”.

2. To Rose for sponsoring the Shabu-Way lunch.

Photo Credits to Marget Fernan-Villarica

3. Ada, our dear classy fashionista with such pizzazz and like magic (at such short notice) presented us the tote bag to GLOAT

4. Paz, the knighted Chief of Staff, with the cute betty boop lips, magically made it possible to let us live out our one biggest fantasy even just for a few hours with our femme fatale body in bikini t-shirts;

See, I will never ever have this body but the illusion helps

5. ENA MARQUEZ for the “WE HAVE ARRIVED” look and body flattering (meaning natago and mga bilbil) drape cardigan with the free classy brooch to match and a 185 song compilation of 70’s music in a CD

6. Tess, our Class President then Ada and Marget for Ways and Means. They were very busy running here and there.

7. Dorothy (Dodo) for the song composition which I used for the Video Compilation of Photos

Dodo composed the “Saying Goodbye” song for our 1974 High School graduation . Her brother (Ray An Fuentes) liked it so much and converted it to a jazz version which became a hit in the mid-seventies. Imagine that.

She even composed a follow-up song for this reunion “Song of Friendship”.

8. Sorry, I am sure I missed out a lot so I am just going to give my thanks to all . Thank you to my dear classmates for making each lunch or dinner celebration possible. My heart is full of treasured memories to look back and future reunions to look forward to.

The four-day weekend whirl of fun activities just made me so giddy that I have been dancing every night since then with my hubby to the tune of the seventies music. I feel exhilarated .. high, happy, in tune.

Yes, I have let go of any pain from my past especially the high school experience. My past was neither an accident nor a mistake. I have been where I needed to be, with the necessary people. I embrace my history, its pain, its imperfections, its mistakes and even its tragedies. It is uniquely mine and intended for me.

I changed because I made it happen. What I think about and THANK about is what I bring about. I’m so happy and grateful now that I have made peace with my past. The secret of our gorgeous class president, a single mother is basically simple “Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting”.

The Book, “The Secret” would ask “Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not – NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right were you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.”

Happy feelings towards the Coral Reunion indeed attracted a happy experience.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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See, a week ago, Kenny Tabayocyoc, a council member of Kamia Residence Hall at the UP Diliman Campus invited me to be their guest speaker for (Thank God It’s Summer), A Tropical Confluence Dinner. Part of the program is an inspirational message to be given by an alumnae of the dorm. Of course, I wanted to help them out. After all, Kamia was my first home away from home. I felt like traversing on a trip down memory lane. It wasn’t a convenient date though. I had to leave by 7:00 PM because it was Lauren’s 23rd birthday celebration. Things don’t always happen as planned. Rains delayed the program that was slated at the Kamia parking lot and the organizers were busy setting up the tables and chairs.

While waiting for the program to start, Kenny brought me inside Kamia Residence Hall for the first time in many years. The tile floors by the door looked worn from the passage of time as thousands of footwear scrubbed the tile color down to a grayish slab of cement. Wasn’t it 33 years ago since I last stepped foot at the door? I saw that a phone booth still hangs by the wall and today there are two. I clearly remember those days when a queue formed as residents tried to make a call. I remember the dagger looks aimed at this one resident who kept yakking away ignoring the queue of girls awaiting their turn to whisper sweet nothings to their steadies.

She led me to the lobby and soon, a flood of memories took over me as I reflected back during those days when I’d get giddy over a visitor’s intercom paging system. Still looks the same. Despite the wear and tear of the dorm, good thing Kamia didn’t have any lingering musty smell of old buildings.

Then the visitor’s waiting area where we also watched TV and partied the night away for the inter-dorm dances, a much needed break from our study routines. Kenny led me to the corner of the room.

And I was astonished!

An array of vintage photos of the Kamia Residence Hall residents (then called UP Women’s Dormitory No. 1 and later Sierra Madre) laid before my eyes. Kenny told me that these photos were all unearthed from the basement bodega. What treasures! I never even saw these photos when I lived there.

Kenny asked “Do you see your mom?”

I scoured briefly and shook my heard not knowing where to start . From what I knew, mom said she stayed only for the summer. I took photos of the vintage photographs for later scrutiny using the zoom feature of my Adobe Photoshop. For some reason, I took a closeup of these photos maybe because they were dated 1951-1952 about the time mom stayed in UP.

You know, mom’s photos during her UP days are gone or misplaced but I do remember her heart-shaped face, the high cheekbones, the red lipstick on her full lips, the quaint UP scenery and the fashionable 50’s dress and her tiny waist.

Just a few minutes ago, I zoomed in on the photo and lo and behold. My Mom!, a House Council Officer in 1951-1952. I never knew she was an officer! She was a sophomore then about the time UP Diliman Campus was just new. A wave of nostalgia hit me. I felt sentimental as I saw mom’s pretty face.

Mom is marked with a red cross on her dress
Enlarge Photo

I felt overwhelmed with this discovery since my siblings and I have been scouring for her old photos from her classmates and our relatives. I have very little memories of her as I wasn’t too close to mom but today, I finally understood the reason why I needed to be there to honor the residents of Kamia Residence Hall.

I had fun reliving these old memories and I was eager to give my message.

Let me share you the speech I shared with them. This is not only applicable to Kamia dormers but to all the other graduating students from other schools with or without living outside their homes.

My Speech to the Kamia Residence Hall Residents

Good Evening. Wow, It’s been 33 years since I last stepped here. My mom accompanied me here in 1975. She too was a dormer here in the early fifties.

Let me introduce myself. I am a mother of 3 wonderful children, married to a lawyer. I have a daughter and just like you is graduating this semester. Unfortunately we live in Manila and could not qualify for a dorm slot. She would have been a 3rd generation Kamia dormer. My eldest daughter is taking up her Masters in Comparative Literature, also at UP diliman.

The tradition of the UP education started with my mom. She graduated Cum laude in Education major in English and minor in Music in 1954.

Mom envisioned her children studying in her alma mater. “In college, you will study in U.P.” As far back as I could remember, mom always ingrained those words in our minds. (six out of seven siblings eventually did. One chose to study in Ateneo).

Alas, in the early seventies, martial law was declared. My relatives in Manila advised my mom that we shouldn’t study in Manila or else her children will turn into subversives. Whatever. Mom didn’t listen to our well-meaning relatives. She toured us around the U.P. campus during our enrollment. Driving through the majestic Acacia trees along University avenue, mom told us how the students planted trees in the campus. I never got to find out the location of the her planted tree. All I know is that she carved her name “Sally” on the tree bark when it grew. She pointed out the quonset huts that the Japanese built. Her dormitory was in one of these quonset huts now replaced by Ilang-Ilang Residence Hall. Her stories of UP traditions (including the Cadena de Amor Festival, Hayride and Arbor Day, which have all died out today) fascinated me.

She had a photo of her just by that doorstep, leaning on the post with her fashional 50’s dress.

You can just imagine the freedom and the adventure that a Cebuana faced upon her first year in UP. I had to sacrifice the comforts of my lovely bedroom, cooked food, and security of a home. It was all worth it because I finally had the freedom to be myself. Dad and Mom warned us though that the moment we joined rallies and demonstrations, it was back to Cebu. They didn’t know it then but my sister and I joined lightning rallies. Student issues centered on Marcos, the dictator, Academic Freedom and the role of Iskolar ng Bayan in the midst of Martial Law.

Let me just give you some thoughts to live by, things I learned as I look back at living in Kamia Residence Hall and having a UP education. I was told to give you an inspirational speech. I am not here to inspire you. I am here to ask you to think about the words I will deliver tonight.

1. Parent Yourself

I was terrified on my first day at the dormitory. Thanks to my sister, Lorna who dormed ahead of me helped me through the first day. It felt strange to live in unfamiliar surroundings.

I did not know it then but my 44 year old mom was dying of cancer of the breast in 1975. She probably prepared us for a life without her. Mom died a year after in 1976 when I moved to Sampaguita dorm.

Later in life you will find out there are moments you are alone. Living independently taught me that I needed to take care of myself and when things go wrong, I call upon my inner strength to draw me out of the pit. Living without a parent forces you to be a parent to yourself, to nurture your inner child.

2. Establish Good Money Management Practices

Back then, 300 pesos seemed substantial for my food allowance and other living expenses. The thing is, we didn’t have high tech ATMS. Telegraphic transfers took a week. Even if my father could afford to send us more, he taught us to budget. I learned the art of being frugal.

This was so useful in my life after UP. Suddenly, I could not just ask money from my dad. I had to earn it now. No matter the state of your financial situation, you will need to implement some sort of money management or else all that money will be gone in an instant”. I have passed that on to my daughter, Lauren when she graduated in 2007.

It’s so funny how my money management policy has affected my kids. Tonight is my daughter’s 23rd birthday dinner and I wanted to eat out for a change.

Mom why make other people rich? Let’s just have dinner at home!

I was surprised, But we barely eat out for dinner! It’s a treat and it happens only once a year.

3. In life, there are second chances if you want to give it another chance.

How many got a boyfriend from UP?

I met my husband in 1978 a semester before I graduated. Whispering sweet nothings to my ear, “I am going to marry you one day. I will be a lawyer. You just see.”

I was laughing inside and mused I would never marry this guy. He’s a bum. I won’t have a future with him. He is my boyfriend because I just want to have fun. I hate my boring student life. All those years in UP was spent studying in studying. Yes, I had a boyfriend for very shallow reason.

True enough, the following month, I found out he didn’t meet the university requirements of passing 21 units, 60% passing of all subjects and to have a passing grade in at least 4 units. He scored a grand slam. The verdict was expulsion from the state university. I knew there was hope so I dragged him to the college secretary for a reconsideration. He didn’t think there was hope but luckily, the college secretary Dean Martin Gregorio granted him a probation period.

In life, don’t be too hard on yourself when a roadblock hits you. Give yourself a second chance. Second chances are possible if You are open to the positive possibilities of the future instead of limiting the future by today’s feelings and circumstances.

4. Do not pressure yourself to be successful.

Usually, a successful life goes hand in hand with affluence. Sometimes success does not come immediately.

I graduated Food Technology but wasn’t really happy working in a factory so I decided to work for UP ISSI and combine my training on food technology and management. I loved my job. I even went into pioneering research. I felt I was at the top of the world to be of service to small and medium enterprises. So when I got married, I felt fulfilled and didn’t feel this need to be successful. Alas that only lasted till the kids reached their pre-teens. By the time they were in their teens, I felt something was amiss. Who was I? I am a homemaker, a mom who chose to stay at home, work part time as a property manager.

It became worse when my son died in 2000.

I went into an online business in 2002, a webhosting because no one would hire a 44 year old mom. Still, I felt I was still missing out. By accident, I went into grief advocacy and blogging. Never in my wildest dream did I expect to be more than just a netrepreneur. Financial blessings just came hand in hand as I helped others. Peer recognition through award giving bodies validated my passion for blogging and reaching out to others.

Being successful is achieving my personal goals despite various obstacles, attaining the results I desired for my life and being able to live comfortably…Not necessarily filthy rich. Most of all, I feel truly happy with my life and the accomplishments I have made thus far.

5. Try new things even if not related

As UP graduates, you have the ability to be flexible and willing to think out of the box. You are not confined to your course.

Come to think of it, my course was BS food technology and I had lots of chemistry subjects. The training to think and imagine the abstract nature of chemical compounds and mixture trained my mind to understand concepts beyond my education.

Like I said I moved on to studies on Business management, then real estate and now an online business.

6. God is there or Higher power as the case may be.

I am not going to preach you here.

Hard times can motivate us to bring out our best. We can use these times to move forward and upward to higher living, loving and growth. The choice is really ours to make.

Will we say “Life sucks. Nothing ever good comes out of this…”? Will we ask our God what we’re supposed to learn from this experience?

Hard times don’t have to be there for us so we can be motivated to grow and change. But if it is there, we can learn to channel it into growth and use it for achieving what’s good in life.

My understanding of God did not grow on an intellectual level. It grew because of my experience with losses, starting with my mom’s death since I turned my life to the care of God. It was God after all who strengthened me to have faith, to move on towards a positive resolution of my grief.

7.Develop a sense of community

Everyone who has lived in a dorm do their best to live harmoniously. Learning to adjust to the quirks of your roommate or your roommate’s visitors. Trying to keep quiet during study hours, taking turns at the shower. We learned to be polite and civil.

The same thing happens at the workplace as you get your first job. You will meet strangers. You will have to live with diverse personalities. bossy people, lazy people, inconsiderate people. You continue to build communities in your office and even encourage team building.

By the sheer exposure to varied backgrounds in the dorm, you have enriched your lives.

Everything in life is about building community.

8. Maintain Work-Life Balance

Finding work-life balance in today’s frenetically paced world is no easy task.

In my earlier days as a UP student, all I did was pour over my books, or become active in school politics. I was the a councilor of the UP College council of Home Economics, in 1977. It was the first time that UP opened its doors to student council. I can’t recall much of it except that I struggled with my broken tagalog and surprisingly I made it. On my last semester, I became acting head of the Home Economics Student council which gave me the opportunity to be represented and working for the first University student council in the first semester of 1978-79. But I barely had fun for myself. I learned to finally let loose during my last year in UP.

Despite his busy schedule, Dad often found the time for random visits at the dorm.

Tonight is my daughter’s birthday dinner so I have to balance my commitment to give this speech to all of you and my family time.

With so many demands on my time — from events to family obligations — it can feel difficult to strike this balance. The goal is to make time for the activities that are the most important to you.

9. Laughter is the best medicine.

Laughter is the best medicine. We’ve heard the expression time and again. I know it’s cliche.

I believe that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are a lot better off. We change physiologically when we laugh. We stretch muscles throughout our face and body, our pulse and blood pressure go up, and we breathe faster, sending more oxygen to our tissues.

10,Anything you really want, you can attain, if you really go after it.

We all have dreams. I never imagined to own a business one day but it was always there at the back of my mind. I never thought I’d be “alive” again after the death of my son. I had to reinvent myself. Give myself a second chance to be a better person that I could ever be.

Just do it.

Why did mom want me to live in a dorm?

Because she learned a lot about life when she was there and she didn’t want us to miss it for the world.

She prepared me for life even if she was not around anymore.

You have your own experiences probably more than I ever had in my UP days. I want you to honor your experiences. Take what you need from what I have just said and leave the rest.

A walk down memory lane indeed, and with the discovery of mom’s photo, I once again embrace the memory of my mother. She is alive and well in my heart.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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My first mistake was bringing a point and shoot camera instead of my mom’s DSLR. Despite the crowd, I was able to take fairly decent pictures of the first few lanterns but my photos started getting progressively crappier as the sky got darker.

Palma Hall was too crowded for me to get a decent view of anything, so I walked over to the front of the Faculty Center where I could still worm my way up to the front.

The UP Library’s lantern was one of the first few lanterns of the parade. While taking a cigarette break in between cramming my research during the last few schooldays of the year, I’d watch the staff working on the lantern by the library steps.

The College of Economics

The Center for Asian Studies

I’m not sure if it’s normal for other UP colleges to be a part of the Diliman Lantern parade, but I’m guessing that they were there for the centennial celebration. This was the lantern of the College of Medicine, which immediately reminded me of my nutty boyfriend who wants to take up medicine in the Philippines when he’s done with his MA.

UP Visayas represent! The lanterns of UP Mindanao and UP Los Banos were really pretty too, but I wasn’t able to get any decent photos of them.

And last but not the least, College of Arts and Letters represent! Our lantern is that white thing behind the parols, and my excuse for not getting any decent photos of it was that I joined the parade and marched behind the lantern when our turn came.

Besides the marching bands, the dancing, and the overall festive atmosphere, what I really liked about the Lantern Parade was that people can use it as an avenue for expressing their political concerns. Here is the Center for Women’s Studies championing for the approval of the Reproductive Health Bill.

And of course, the UP Community rejects the charter change and Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in general.

Next year, I will take better pictures of everyone’s lanterns. And if I’m really lucky, maybe my boyfriend will be able to fly out and join me!——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Wikipedia states that

Halloween (or Hallowe’en) is an international holiday celebrated on October 31. Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, ghost tours, bonfires, costume parties, visiting haunted attractions, carving jack-o’-lanterns, reading scary stories, and watching horror movies.

I do not understand. Maybe I am trapped in the American tradition that my husband brought to our family since we first celebrated it twenty years ago. Maybe the Philippines has its own version on how to celebrate Halloween.

I remember the day my dear husband reminded me to dress up the little girls into witches for Halloween. “Halloween?” I thought Halloween was only done in the Western countries. ” Yes you have to dress them up as witches”. As a little boy in the late sixties, he pranced around the neighborhood begging for candies and yelling “Trick or Treat” . According to him, the Halloween “Trick or Treat” originated in the Philippines in the sixties when the Americans living in the village started the tradition. In the early nineties, Halloween was not yet commercialized.

The Trick or Treat was limited to Ayala Land villages, where most American expatriates lived. There were a few masks and simple decors in National Book store but that was it. No costumes. I had to be creative. I designed a witch costume with yellow piping and a dressmaker executed it. A balikbayan sister from San Francisco brought in the hat, the candy corn candies, the fangs gum for props.

We drove all the way to visit the kid’s grandparents in Alabang just for the spooky Halloween experience. As usual, the beaming stage mother dressed up her adorable girls as cute little witches. The Trick or Treat party at the club was fantastic. The kids were dressed in typical Halloween costumes like vampires, ghosts, witches, and devils or even pumpkins.The eerie decors added to the thrilling experience.

The Trick or Treat adventure in this swanky Alabang village is something else. The houses compete with each other on the scariest theme. Most of these houses had tricks. In one house, the kids were terrified of the candle-lit pathway that led to a vampire rocking on the chair. Complete with spine-tingling music as you walk towards the vampire, it even freaked me out. One of my daughters scurried away as soon as she saw the ghoulish figure. For many years, the girls spent their Halloween with their grandparents in this Alabang village until Luijoe arrived in our lives.

Luijoe’s first Halloween in 1994 was spent at his aunt’s village. She started the Trick or Treat experience in her own village. 1994 saw the year when malls and the like started to sell costumes and more Halloween decors. My husband just adored his little boy. It’s no wonder that Halloween is such a painful experience for my husband. The past years, he used to hibernate in our bedroom avoiding the little kids knocking at our doors. But that is just how he was then. I love giving candies to these kids as I imagine my precious Luijoe hovering nearby. I am sure Luijoe is around me all the time.

My little boy posed his cutest smile ever. “sigh” I miss my boy. As I gathered the photos for this entry, I could not help turning misty-eyed pouring over these precious memories . “Was he really that cute?” “How I wish I can just rewind the past and hug him all over again!” Pictures and memories are what is left of him. Of course, his love rings true in my heart. But yes, I digress. And the tears well up again as I write this.

The girls who were then in their pre-teen years continued to be witches until their early teens. That’s when they designed their own costumes or innovated their wardrobe. (See Halloween photo gallery)

Luijoe’s last two Halloween was dressed up as a little devil. How he liked playing the naughty little imp to the hilt. This little devil is now my angel . His impish grins just makes me smile. Kids are just so adorable aren’t they? I miss my kids as little kids and being the stage mother fussing around them. Now that they have grown up, I’m just there when they need me.

After Luijoe died in 2000, the girls continued the Trick or Treat tradition with their younger cousins. Costumes are now based on themes other than traditional horror, such as dressing up as a character from a TV show or movie. AHH, I miss the traditional Halloween costumes. Lauren in this photo is behind the fence because she was traumatized by an 11 year old bully who grabbed her whole bag of candies. Demand for candies is just so much that after an hour, we always ran out of treats.

Our kitties are not exempt from trick or treat.

The girls have outgrown the costumes but the ghost story telling or watching horror movies never dies. I don’t have to don the witch’ hat and spook them out. I don’t need to line the garage with eerie candle-lit lighting. No need for the masked monster by the rocking chair. They can entertain themselves now.

So that’s how my family celebrate Halloween. What’s your tradition?——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Web-based blogging tools only emerged in 1998 and went mainstream with the launch of Blogger.com in 1999. Despite the lack of content management systems in those days, I taught these kids the file-transfer protocol and a few HTML tricks to build their online journal or kids’ clubs.

Knowing Casey moved to Seattle, I emailed him if he’d want to meet up. The last time we met was in 1999 when the girls were on a choir tour in the US.

Curiosity got the best of me especially on how the internet shaped their lives for the better. On the other hand, my daughter thought it’d be weird to meet up with someone after so many years. Just the same, I tried my luck and left my cellphone number.

A few minutes later, Casey gave me a ring and was excited to meet me on a saturday. (Lauren insisted that we have a photo together which explains the photo above.) I was in for a pleasant surprise as his story started to unfold, which is mine to keep, of course. This handsome young man is going places. I asked him how the internet helped shaped the person he is today. The researcher in me seeks to investigate how the internet contributed to our kid’s intellectual growth and social interaction skills the past 12 years. Nagging fears on the ill effects of the internet was a big issue during those early days as Casey and I continued our chit chat. Studies like “Is the Internet Affecting the Social Skills of Our Children?” often haunted parents like me.

According to Casey, his global thinking would not have been possible if he just kept his friendships within the confines of his school or city. Next year, he plans to visit a South American country and teach some children to blog. Casey is just one fine example of a kid that grew up with the internet as part of his life.

Even the exposure that I gave my children to the internet were met with criticisms from my extended family in the nineties. Blogging was met with disdain too. And recently, being accused as the ghost writer of my daughter? And being a mother to independent-minded children? Who are these people to judge my parenting style anyway and how my children turned out to be?

I believe my kids have the advantage of being exposed to global thinking , varied ethnicities , cultures and religion which they might not have learned in the classroom. At the same time that our kids must think locally, in terms of what is dear and close to us, they will also act in ways that have a global impact.

Despite the alarm raised in the mid-nineties, I believe that most of our children are doing fine. Your children are doing fine. Computers are certainly intriguing and captivating, and the Internet is most assuredly alluring with its research and communicative capacities. But overall, technology can be considered a positive enhancement to growth.

Reuniting with kids like Casey affirms my instinct that we are on the right track.

With that, I’d like to greet all ye bloggers a Happy Birthday. Congratulations, you have rewritten the rules.

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Shortly after, the 27 year old brother, Reuben died of fulminant Hepatitis A. Health authorities discovered that there was a Hepatitis A epidemic in their area about the time of the reunion. What perfect timing for the Hepatitis A virus! It seemed an evil witch carried a poisoned apple during their party. Four other siblings including Lauren suffered from Hepatitis A. They filed a case against Metro Cebu Water District (MCWD) and won the case 12 years later.

In 1999, a 40 year old brother, Oscar died of leukemia (AML- 6) after an unsuccessful stem cell transplant in Bethesda, Maryland.

Perhaps grief overtook their father after witnessing the deaths of his two sons and his wife. A parent should not have to bury a son. After burying Oscar, the dad collapsed, had surgery and became bedridden by the time of his death in 2003.

Only 5 siblings are left. Four sisters and One brother.

That is the brief story of the deaths in my family (aside from my son). Three of them are now living in the USA while my other sister lives in Manila. During the past years, reunions centered upon the burying of the dead or dying. Does it have to be so? For me, I needed to be with my siblings because they are all I have left of my childhood, where I learned the gift of laughter, music, and service to community.

When all of these deaths fell upon my family some priest suggested the “Healing of the Family Tree” and gave me a prayer. Each night, I was to recite this prayer hoping in the belief that the curse of family deaths would end. I didn’t believe in it. Instead, healing should begin in each one of us.

We heal our family trees primarily by changing ourselves to be better persons, even much better than our ancestors could ever be. We heal our family trees by taking care of our health so our predisposition to certain genetic diseases will be curtailed. We heal our family trees by receiving a new nature through total commitment to God . Secondly, we heal our family trees by repentance and healing. The change starts in us. Healing starts in us. It was time to stop looking back at the past and move forward now.

And that’s what we all did. I am proud of each of my siblings who have made it their life’s mission to volunteer, engage in civic duties, or do pioneer medical research to our respective community. I won’t toot their horns on this because we are only answerable to God.

I came to visit my three siblings in the US just to be with them, to laugh, to reminisce, to just be. Despite the deaths in our family, we, the five siblings felt life is too short to be bitter over the deaths in our family.

What does do good is doing good. For every action we take, the world is changed in some small way for the better, and then the actions taken become our living tribute to our loved ones. And then my siblings and parents are never entirely gone. They live in our actions.

I love my family.

And one day..the family of seven siblings and their mom and dad will be reunited together again in God’s time.

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

It pained me that I was never able to fulfill his wish and perhaps it is one of the reasons that I lost interest to travel the past years. For years, I was consumed with the myriad reminders of my son’s life and death. It wasn’t an easy journey. As time passed, I found occasional peaceful respites from grief as the episodes of deep grieving gradually became less frequent and intense. Today, it’s not as painful and I find peace and solitude in the pain that I carry with me for life.

Death may have taken away my son but he lives forever in my heart and in my memories. Perhaps he might not have visited the states with me but he is right here with me in spirit. I brought along Kippy Cat as my travel mascot.

The legacy my child left is a love that transcends time and space. As I hold Kippy Cat close to my chest in the airport, a flood of happy and poignant memories lift me to high spirits and I feel the comfort of my son’s love.

How about visiting my daughter’s ukay-ukay blog at ukaymanila.com?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado