This is a guest post by my daughter, Lauren. I’ve always wanted to tackle the topic of bullying for a long time now since I was so problematic about it during Lauren’s early years at school. The harrowing effects of bullying are best illustrated by the victim. In this case, Lauren tells her story.

Lauren at 6 years old on her way to her school at Miriam College Grade School

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My stage mother years is one of my most treasured moments with my little girls. Those were the days when the mother in me dreamt of their future. The stage mother years span from the time Lauren was a precocious 4 year old painist till her early teens. From then on, my role was relegated to a part-time stage mother when they had random performances here and there. I call myself retired because I don’t fuss like a mother hen like in the good old days.

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The lighted Christmas Village caught the attention of Mike Villar (or was it Bim ) as he entered our dining room last Saturday night with the rest of the Man Blog-gers. I can’t remember now what Lauren told me but from what I recall, Mike imagined that lilting Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling music playing in the background as we eat dinner and babble in our fake British accents. The way Lauren said Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling sounded so much like Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons”.

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The Christmas tree is up. Hundreds of tiny lights are dancing around the trimmed Christmas tree. The girls’ Christmas stockings look perfect on the wall while pretty garlands line around the staircase. That should about signal the start of Christmas Season for my girls. But no… According to Lauren, it’s the baking of the Gingerbread Man Cookies that evokes Christmas memories.

When my mom has our helpers bring out the baking utensils from the cabinets and the aroma of gingerbread wafts out of the kitchen, that’s when I know that for the Dado family, the holiday season has begun.

The aroma of molasses, cinnamon and spices excited them as kids. “We’re hungry, mom!”. I told them to be patient and promised to read them the Story of the Gingerbread Man as soon as the cookies were baked.

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Technorati Tags: Christmas

Are you curious about the lifestyle of 7 to 14 year old Filipino children? Sure, we know they have the inherent ability to assimilate new technology and adapt to change at such phenomenal rates but how much? Today, I attended the presentation of Cartoon Networks’ New Generations Philippines results of the first fully-localized study dedicated to Filipino kids with previous studies done in 2003 and 2005. Cartoon Network believes that such study is an integral part of its on-going quest to learn about kids, their lifestyle , opinions and behavior. The approach in conducting the study was based on face-to-face interviews with 1,000 child and parent pairs, surveying Filipino kids aged 7-14 years and their parents from socio-economics classes A to D in three metropolitan areas of Cebu, Davao and Manila in September and October 2007. Synovate Philippines was commissioned to conduct the survey.

The results are quite disappointing. TV is the number one choice for kids among various forms of media consumption.

• 46% are internet users of which three quarters have their own homepage.
• More than 75% go to malls with their parents at least once a month.
• They’ve got PHP 37 billion to spend annually.

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Ever since I could remember, dad often brought me and my siblings to any real estate investment he acquired. Trudging by the tall weeds and mud, I wrinkled my nose and retort “But there is nothing here. No houses. ” Dad would often chuckle and remind me “Think of the future. what will it be like in 30 years?”. Twirling around the grasses and looking up at the sky, I could not think far ahead to the future. After all, I was just 8 years old. God bless my dad. His investment paved the way for my own real estate investments together with the rest of my siblings. I felt my girls should know how to prioritize their paycheck. Lauren even as a fresh graduate seems to be earning quite well. I thought I’d show her to invest her money wisely. So off we went for a brief stop in our country home somewhere in Sta. Rosa before heading off to Ayala Land’s latest development, the Nuvali.
On the way to Nuvali, we got so engrossed with the landscape that we missed the turn to the entrance. The sign “Poke Your Eyes” alerted us that Hey you are lost. We had a good laugh as we made a u-turn back to Nuvali.

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Technorati Tags: real estate investment, investment, real estate

The girls are now in their twenties and they have their own gimmicks these days. I can’t even schedule a photo shoot for a family portrait because their schedules always conflict with the date. The only occasion for us to be together is when we dine out or shop. Yesterday afternoon was one of those rare moments when they wanted to be with me. I was invited to the “All Treats No Tricks” event of All Flip Flops and Marta’s Cakes at the Bonifacio High Street where we get the chance to ice cookies or cupcakes. The girls thought it was an excellent idea to go to the swanky Bonifacio High Street and hie off to their favorite hangout, The Fully Booked bookstore. (Asides, I think Andres Bonifacio would rise from his grave if he saw his namesake being used for such a ritzy shopping complex. )

My dear husband offered to drive us (thank goodness) and meet up at the Fully Booked after the event. So we were at the tent across All Flip Flops and sat down to work on our cupcakes and cookies. My two lovely daughters sat across me and suddenly memories of their childhood flooded me. Those memories where we often did arts and crafts and even icing the cookies together. Where did the good old days go? As I iced my own cupcake, I know deep inside the girls are brought back to their happy childhood memories. Those were the days when I devoted a lot of my time cooking and baking. Those were the days we would look far and wide for a playground. These memories never die. Our childlike mind always lives in us and it is a good thing.

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This photo was two months after Luijoe’s death. Here are my two daughters in their early teens about to release balloons on Luijoe’s 7th birth Anniversary. The sunny skies greeted us as we celebrated that day with balloons, his favorite gummy bear, flowers , candles and incense sticks. All of us signed something on the smiley balloon by Luijoe’s grave. As I look at this photo, I could not imagine my children’s grief until many years after. This was how Lauren expressed her grief 3 years after the death of her brother:

Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. I chose to deal with my sadness through writing down what I felt in my journal. I suppose I could have talked to my friends about it, but I knew in my heart that they could not comprehend the magnitude of my sorrow and guilt unless they themselves have experienced death, which they haven’t.

During my bereavement, one thing that exasperated me was when people would tell me things like, ‘At least your brother is an angel in heaven now.’ Though I know they meant well by these attempts to comfort me, I did not want to picture Luijoe hovering in and out of the clouds with a pair of wings and a halo. I wanted him to be alive, to be as annoying as little brothers are; anywhere but inside a wooden casket buried six feet under a fine carpet of Bermuda grass.

Grief is a never-ending process. The beautiful thing about grieving is that even though you will never get over the death of your loved one, you will learn to move on and live without that person. Death like any great wound leaves a scar that will heal with time. But the mark will always remain, and so will the memories of your loved one.

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In my last post, Manolo Quezon mentioned that “Everything is political, and it all begins with sex.”. I don’t claim to be an eloquent writer as the great Manolo but due to the recent issues on BoyBastos.Com allegedly owned by Mark Verzo, I feel I need to say a statement or two.

Sorry folks, but pornography is here to stay. You can write about porn, watch porn daily or host a porn site…but there are two things one needs to learn from the perils of pornography.

1. Education is the key.

• Educate your kids on the dangers of the Internet.
• Educate parents (most important!).
• Educate lawmakers, law enforcers and their staff.
• Teach lawmakers and law enforcers how to handle the Internet as a medium.

Like I wrote in my earlier entry on Lauren, a young internet user in 1996, I made it my business to explore the online world a family affair. We educated ourselves on the wonders and dangers of the internet. Now if you don’t believe that, it’s your problem not mine.

2. Watch out for that part of Republic Act 9208, The Anti-Trafficking of Persons Act of 2003, which punishes “advertisements” or “propaganda” in the internet as acts that promote trafficking in persons:

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Technorati Tags: Mark Verzo, pornography