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How Gossip Hurts Friendships

““It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one’s back, that are absolutely and entirely true.” Oscar Wilde

gossipJust recently, I received an email from a friend (let’s call Delta) straightening the facts of a gossip in a recent reunion. The email was directed to the alleged gossiper (let’s call Alpha) and another friend (let’s call Beta). Take note that this is communication among “best” friends.

It was supposed to be a clarification of the “gossip” but instead the communication was totally ignored and made public by Alpha and Beta. The point of the email was to clarify. Direct , clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for good feelings about ourselves and our relationship with others.

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Eulogy to a Friend

(Berthram (Nonoy) Tan, Best Friends Forever UP Cebu 74-78 died on September 27 due to Myocardial Infarction. He came to Cebu and pretended to invite Robert, fellow classmate to dinner at Laguna Garden. Unknowingly,he was part of the game plan of Robert’s children to give a special surprise silver anniversary party. They had grand time that night and parted ways wee hours of the morning.

The next day , Nonoy woke up to get ready to depart for manila and had breakfast. He wasn’t able to reach back to his room and fell unconscious.He was DOA when he reached Cebu Doctor’s Hospital.)

This is my eulogy which I read last night during the necrological services.

Dear family, relatives and friends and Best Friends Forever,

I am not a stranger to death. I lost my mother, father, my two brothers and most painful of all my beloved son. 5 deaths in the family.
Still, the loss of a friend hits me hard. Even if my house in Manila is
undergoing a clean up operation due to Ondoy flood damage, I knew I
just had to come here to Cebu and pay my last respect to a friend.

I only met Nonoy in 2006 when Joan invited me for his birthday
celebration. I was like ” who is nonoy tan?”. But see, we shared
mutual friends from our group, Best Friends Forever . I had no idea who he was. Meeting him for the first time, we hit it off right away. It helped that he knew my dad .We could relate to stories of our common classmates and both had health issues with our heart.
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Not a Drama Queen at 50 Something

Real women, it’s said, don’t have hot flushes. They have power surges, and so others will experience what Margaret Mead called ““postmenopausal zest,” a release of energy that propels them to take on causes, take control of their lives and embark on new challenges.

(From Drama queens at 50something by Margie David Collins

I should be having hot flushes at my age. During our high school reunion, everyone talked of hot flashes and menopause. Why am I not experiencing any of those symptoms? Maybe it is not my time yet. Perhaps in 2 years? I never really worried about menopause. It’s not easy, the body is no longer what it once but (and this is not bragging), I feel more beautiful , confident and wiser than in my youth. Sex is great! (*winks*) . The journey is made easier by using makeup, anti-aging creams, vitamin and herbal supplements and keeping fit through exercise.

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Photo Credit

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Save our Children from Death Due to Pneumococcal Disease

I encounter all sorts of stories about children’s death in the course of my advocacy work in The Compassionate Friends, a grief support group for those who have lost a child. I often hear the word “if only”, “what if?” and so many words of regret and guilt. I can’t help but cry along with their heartbreaking stories. Sometimes, cause of deaths are accidental, congenital or some complication of a disease. In the Philippines alone, the statistics are alarming.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), up to 1 million children under the age of five die from pneumococcal disease every year. Pneumococcal disease includes serious, invasive diseases such as meningitis, pneumonia and blood infection (bacteraemia), to less severe, but highly prevalent diseases, such as otitis media, sinusitis and bronchitis. The WHO estimates reveal that over 90% of children’s deaths caused by pneumococcal disease occur in developing countries. Philippines is listed in the top ten of countries with this high mortality rate.

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Each year, around 1 million succumb to Invasive Pneumococcal Diseases (IPD); including 82,000 Filipino children. WHO and UNICEF further underscores the importance of IPD by identifying its bacteria, Streptococcus pneumoniae, to be the leading cause of Pneumonia. In the Asia Pacific region alone, 98 children die from Pneumonia every hour – more than AIDS, malaria and measles combined. My friend lost her 4 year old daughter due to this type of pneumonia. Thinking it was just high fever and bad cold, she didn’t know that one of her lungs was already filled with water. At that time, she wasn’t aware that there was a vaccine against pneumonia or it was even there.
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President Cory Aquino’s Funeral Procession

““I believe that during these times, we should not forget that many sacrificed to regain our democracy.” Corazon Aquino
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My legs dangling from the makeshift platform of the media truck. I couldn’t stand up because I don’t have balance after I broke my ankle 4 years ago.

President Cory Aquino is an extraordinary woman that I risked my limb just to take photos of the funeral procession. Never did I imagine that it would take 9 hours. Just the other day, covering the transfer from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral took 5 hours which I thought was already a long drive. Never, ever will I ride on an open truck for half a day under strong rains, soaking pants, hunger, thirst, huge cameras hitting on my head, and being shoved by media just to take photos of an event. Unless of course, a president as great as President Corazon Aquino will come along. Maybe not in my lifetime.


Hear the outpouring of love and sympathy from this video I took from Manila Cathedral to Manila Memorial Park

The people who lined the streets for hours were just in the same position as myself. Drenched by torrential rains brought by Typhoon “Kiko” and enduring hunger and thirst as they waited for hours for the Philippine flag draped casket of our beloved President Cory to pass by, I can see it as a small sacrifice for a woman who restored our democracy. Our sacrifice is nothing compared to what Cory and her family endured to save our nation from the tyranny of a Marcos dictatorship. It was a small sacrifice for me as well to sit for 9 hours on an open truck because my balance to stand up on the makeshift platform of a moving truck seemed unstable for me to take snapshots of the unfolding scene.

I know it’s cliche to say that there are no words to describe the incredible outpouring of public sympathy today. I also have another reason: I am dead tired but I will update this entry as soon as I get enough rest. You will see photos of people rich and poor who stayed for hours on the streets to bid farewell to a great woman until her final resting place. The scene is reminiscent of the burial of former Senator Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino Jr. who was assassinated in 1983.

Here are the Photos of the 9 hour ride from Manila Cathedral to Manila Memorial Park. Dressed in a raincoat, holding on to an umbrella and removing my shoes, here is my labor of love, my tribute to a woman I admire.

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Manila Cathedral at 7:00 Am just before the mass started at 9:00 AM

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The funeral convoy started from the Manila Cathedral at 11:30 a.m. Here are mourners along the Anda Circle as they waved ““L” signs with their forefingers and thumbs to denote ““Laban” (Fight) . I do hope we Filipinos continue with the fight.

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Coverage of Cory Aquino’s Memorial Sevices: La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral

Update (August 5)– View Photos and Video of the President Cory Aquino Burial

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope. Corazon Aquino

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That’s me in yellow taking video footage as I held on to my dear life on the iron railings of the truck. Photo credits to Liyam

The stirring scene that unfolded before me as President Aquino’s cortege passed all the way from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral is just overwhelming. I had no idea that a huge number of people would show up. Traffic stopped. People got out of their cars, clapping, calling out “Cory Cory”. All people from all walks of life, either threw confettis, balloons, held placards “we love you Cory”. I got goosebumps just hearing the people cry out “cory cory”. Here are the photos I took as I joined photographers and media on an open truck which was positioned right in front of President Aquino’s cortege. I endured 5 hours of heat, thirst and cramped space just to take photos and witness the outpouring of love along the streets. Mind you, I usually don’t join traditional media for current affairs but this is a historical event. If you see the photos, I don’t think there will be anything like this in the near future.


Video Footage I took from La Salle Greenhills to Ayala Avenue

Here is a labor of love , videos and capture of 300 photos for those who couldn’t be there for her memorial services. These are just a preview of these photos.(videos after the photos)

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At La Salle Greenhills just before leaving for Manila Cathedral

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At 11:00 AM, President Aquino’s cortege left La Salle Greenhills. Our media truck was right in front of their truck but I was unable to get a nice shot from this angle except when the truck turned into a corner.
Read More »Coverage of Cory Aquino’s Memorial Sevices: La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral

Covering Cory Aquino’s Wake

(Update : Read my entry on Cory’s Funeral Convoy from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral)

It’s my husband’s fault. He woke me up at 6:00 AM and said that if I wanted to attend the Cory Aquino’s memorial services, I should queue by 7:00 AM. I arrived at La Salle Greenhills before 7:00 AM and the long queue outside the gates looked frustrating. I took my chance and requested for media accreditation from the Secretariat at Gate 2. Armed with my Media ID card from Philippine Online Chronicles I got my yellow colored media ID card. So here I am live-blogging, and covering Cory Aquino’s wake in La Salle GreenHills. Taking photos inside the gym had certain guidelines and I wish to respect that. I couldn’t take much of the President Cory Aquino’s casket but I took snippets of the people and activities that transpired today.

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Cory T-shirts for sale by vendors at 120 pesos each

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The line before the public viewing opened at 7:00 AM
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Grief over Corazon “Cory” Aquino’s Death

““I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” Corazon Aquino
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“Our mother peacefully passed away at 3:18 am of cardio-respiratory arrest” – Senator Benigno Aquino Jr.

Her son Sen. Benigno ““Noynoy” Aquino III confirmed that Former President Corazon Cojuangco Aquino died of cardio respiratory arrest at exactly 3:18 a.m. Saturday at the Makati Medical Center after battling colon cancer for more than a year. She was 76 years old.

According to two political analysts interviewed by abs-cbnNEWS.com /Newsbreak, Mrs. Aquino will be missed for what she symbolized.

““She’s most powerful as an icon. Like Cardinal Sin. No one else can play that role. No one,” said Alex Magno, a political science professor of the University of the Philippines.

I feel sad over her death and at the same time relieved that she didn’t have to suffer for long. My husband wrote a few weeks ago that we should “Let Cory Aquino die in Peace“. After having given so much of herself to God, country and the cause of democracy, why not give her this one last wish and let her die with dignity and grace ?

Her legacy as president is very precious to me. At the height of people power, I was 8 months pregnant with my first child, Lauren. It was a precarious situation with the massive cheating over the snap election.

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Love Never Dies

Wasn’t it just 10 years that I last hugged my beautiful boy on a breezy, sunny day at the beach? Though the searing pain in my heart is not as sore as it once was 10 years ago, the scab sorts of falls off on anniversary dates. Luijoe should have been 16 years old today. I created this video tribute of his life and last birthday celebration 10 years ago when he was just a cute 6 year old boy.

(Video Link)

I often wonder how he would look like today. Would he have been taller than my husband? Would he have the same gleaming smile? Would he have many girlfriends? Would he be close to his two sisters? Would he have a messy room? Will he still give me a bunch of flowers with an “I love you” note? I can’t imagine because I will always remember him as an innocent and beautiful 6 year old boy whose death changed my life in positive ways I never could imagine.

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Michael Jackson Memorial: The Significance of Memorials

“Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him — so much.” — Jackson’s daughter, Paris-Michael, who broke down in tears.”

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Photo Credit via cnn.com

I gaze at the TV as I see the casket of Michael Jackson as it is being wheeled out of Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood Hills en route to the Public Memorial at Staples Center. Bedtime beckons me but there is one part of me that wants to watch the live coverage of Michael Jackson Memorial . To keep myself awake, I will write about the creative use of grief.

I know not all of you are Michael Jackson fans but I am a Michael Jackson fan so excuse me for blabbing away. Yes, he might not be a family member and my grief is so negligible compared to the devastating loss his family is experiencing. Nevertheless, grief is an emotion. We all had lost someone dear to us and even if the person is not a family member, the grief experience is very real. I established a connection with him through his music during my teen years in the seventies. I bet most fans feel the same way. No wonder you see the outpouring of grief. His music just touched their lives as it did mine in those crucial teen years.

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