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The Gift of Forgiveness: Navigating Life’s Imperfections

Forgiveness is about stopping our past from dictating our present, recognizing that our past experiences shape who we are.

As I scrolled through my Facebook feed, I stumbled upon a post from a friend that took me back to my grade school days. She had shared the Act of Contrition with her daughter, the same prayer I was taught in a Catholic school over 50 years ago. I remember reciting, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…” but the details of the prayer have faded. This prayer expresses remorse for our wrongdoings, a sentiment I deeply connect with, even if I no longer recount my sins to a priest. I’ve found my own way to seek forgiveness, believing that God’s presence isn’t confined to a church.

Here’s the thing: I’ve made mistakes as a wife and mother. Yes, I’ve apologized and sought forgiveness from God and my family. But I’ve learned that forgiving oneself is just as important. Apologizing and making amends are essential steps in healing and warding off resentment in any relationship.

Why apologize, you might ask? From my experience, a sincere apology not only eases the burden from my shoulders but also brings immediate relief. It’s about clearing the air, not letting bad feelings linger. Psychologist Guy Winch, author of “Emotional First Aid,” says an effective apology heals both the recipient and the one who’s apologizing by dissolving guilt.

An apology must be genuine, and it should lead to a change in behavior. It’s not just about saying sorry; it’s about understanding the hurt caused and working to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Reflecting on my 39-year marriage, I remember the early days filled with conflicts. My husband would quickly apologize for his missteps, but I was more interested in seeing a change in his behavior. Saying sorry is easy; the real challenge is in taking the time to understand the hurt and actively working to prevent it in the future.

Forgiveness has been our greatest gift to each other. It’s about freeing ourselves from the shackles of resentment, breaking down the walls built by anger and negativity. Forgiveness is about stopping our past from dictating our present, recognizing that our past experiences shape who we are.

Forgiveness doesn’t always start with letting go of resentment, but once you embrace it, resentment loses its grip on you. I’ve realized that I can’t control others, including family members, but I can choose how I react. By practicing honesty, self-expression, and forgiveness, I’ve found that resentment has no place or power in my life.

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