Happiness is in your Hands

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When I hear the girls sighing over their crush , I notice their wistful expression of hope.

But he doesn’t like me mom is a recurring statement that sometimes escape their lips often mixed with a slight hint of sadness.

Sometimes a mere smile or nod gives them that giddy feeling. As a mother, it’s a thrill to watch your children happy over simple joys.

I often tell my 2 girls that happiness is a choice. Yes, it’s alright to mope and feel sad over a breakup or in getting over a crush. Cry if you have to , feel sad or be angry . I tell them ” Sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there’s something you need to do to take care of yourself and then go on with your life.”

I advice my girls that their happiness is not a present someone else holds in their hands. Their well-being is not being held by say their crush or boyfriend to be given or withheld at a whim. If they reach out and try to force this person to give what they hold, they will be disappointed. It is just an illusion because that person never held it. That lovely wrapped box with the pink ribbon on it which they believe contained their happiness that someone was holding is an illusion.

But what if someone steps on our toes?

Obviously it is painful . We hold the power to stop that pain by removing the offending foot on our toes. The pain is still ours as it is our responsibility to tell that person to stop stepping on our toes.

Healing comes when we are aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from our past. We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that gift box. The content are ours for the opening.

You hold the key to your own happiness.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1386 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

  • Words of wisdom from a wise mom. I agree. Happiness is a choice.

    Now it’s just a matter of getting it through to my stubborn heart. LOL. Drama ko kunwari.

  • @shari- it takes practice to actually remember it. It will get through

  • Riz

    Such basic truth we often forget. It’s good to be reminded.

    ”Sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there’s something you need to do to take care of yourself and then go on with your life.” –> Beautiful. I’ll take your word for it. 🙂

  • @riz- hope it eases the pain somehow

  • I 100% agree on this one Noemi.

    Happiness is certainly a choice. I often hear the phrase, “I’ll be happy when…” and fill in the blank there. e.g. happy when I achieve or have this.

    But, what many do not realize is that you can be happy irrespective of the surroundings or circumstance. You can be happy while striving for your goals.

    If you choose to be happy as a result of something, then happiness will elude you, because it has to start with you first.

    Thanks again for the wonderful post!

  • You wrote what my Nanay told me when I first got hurt. Experience is really the best teacher ‘no?

    re: your daughters
    It’s very touching you & your girls have a very open relationship. I hope when we develop the same kind of trust between my son (& future kids).

  • @nicholas- you hit it on target. WE are own best friend.

    @auee- I think we just had an open relationship when I started to be a better mother and friend.