When I hear the girls sighing over their crush , I notice their wistful expression of hope.
But he doesn’t like me mom is a recurring statement that sometimes escape their lips often mixed with a slight hint of sadness.
Sometimes a mere smile or nod gives them that giddy feeling. As a mother, it’s a thrill to watch your children happy over simple joys.
I often tell my 2 girls that happiness is a choice. Yes, it’s alright to mope and feel sad over a breakup or in getting over a crush. Cry if you have to , feel sad or be angry . I tell them ” Sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there’s something you need to do to take care of yourself and then go on with your life.”
I advice my girls that their happiness is not a present someone else holds in their hands. Their well-being is not being held by say their crush or boyfriend to be given or withheld at a whim. If they reach out and try to force this person to give what they hold, they will be disappointed. It is just an illusion because that person never held it. That lovely wrapped box with the pink ribbon on it which they believe contained their happiness that someone was holding is an illusion.
But what if someone steps on our toes?
Obviously it is painful . We hold the power to stop that pain by removing the offending foot on our toes. The pain is still ours as it is our responsibility to tell that person to stop stepping on our toes.
Healing comes when we are aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from our past. We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands. We have held that gift box. The content are ours for the opening.
You hold the key to your own happiness.