This is the music playlist I am listening to right now:
1. Mirror, Mirror- M2M
2. Never be the same again- Melanie C
3. Feeling so Good- Jennifer Lopez
4. Oops I did it again – Britney Spears
5. Bye Bye Bye- NSync
6. Northern Star- Melanie C
7. Dear Lie- TLC
8. How can I not love you- Joy Enriquez
9. Be with you- Enrique Iglesias
10. Never Let You Go- Third Eye Blind
Sounds old right? and teeny-bopperish? Hmm…
That’s Luijoe’s music playlist. I get so much comfort listening to his music. Fortunately, I found this mp3 list in my computer a few weeks after he died. Luijoe loved pop music . He would always ask me to download mp3 files of his favorite songs at Napster (Napster was not illegal in 2000). Then he would listen and dance to the music. That always made me smile . But wait a minute… he was only 6 years old that time and he’s listening to pop music? Maybe he knew he had little time left on earth and wanted to fast forward and listen to teen’s music. I believe he knew his fate.
When I was newly bereaved, listening to his favorite music brought so much pain and tears. If I didn’t create his website , all of these memories would have been lost forever. There’s a CD of this playlist in my car too. Now as I listen to his favorite music, it gives me a spiritual connection to my dear son. It’s like he’s embracing me with his love. As I close my eyes to the beat of the music, I feel his warmth and love. There are no more bitter tears… well, just a tear drop and a smile with a gentle tug in my heart that beats “I miss you . son”
We can’t know why some things happen…
But we can know that love
and beautiful memories
outlast the pain of grief.
And we can know that there’s a place
inside the heart where love lives always…..
And where nothing beautiful can ever