Parenting conflict

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Why are you sending her away?

Oh dear. Am I a bad mother? I thought. My husband called out from the dining room as I was busy fixing the food for my second daughter in the kitchen. M planned to move in to her friend’s apartment near the UP campus. See, she’s taking summer classes coupled with daily singing rehearsals. I tell you, her schedule is crazy. Classes start at 7:00 AM and her rehearsals end at 10:00 PM. Driving from Makati to Quezon City was out of the question. It’s not the gasoline expense . My time is wasted because of our stupid traffic jams. I can do more productive work like fixing the house or letting my business grow instead of getting stuck in traffic. But no…our traffic is so bad that 3 hours of my daily life is wasted down the drain just driving to and fro Makati and Quezon City. Hiring a driver is out of the question. I can’t afford it. Besides, drivers need to rest too.

You know how tiring it is for me to drive back and forth. I said. She needs to be semi-independent. When I was her age, I had no mother to take care of me. I had to mother myself.

I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was in college and I learned to take care of my needs with a little help from my dad. My dad was the typical father who provided our financial needs but wasn’t too nurturing. So when my husband said that I was sending M away, I felt bad. Am I doing this because I don’t want to be inconvenienced? Or because she really needs to be closer to the campus? But my daughter sees how far we live and understands that with unpredictable rehearsal schedules, moving in with a friend was the better option. No, I shouldn’t feel guilty. But why did my hubby feel bad?

I think he will miss M’s vibrant personality that’s filled with animated conversations and laughter as they bond before bedtime. He will miss her singing voice as she vocalizes every morning like a song bird chirping in a happy tune. I know that he will miss her so much mid-week that he will pick her up from her rehearsals late at night and then wake up early in the morning just to drop her off to the campus.

I know my hubby so well because that’s what he did during M’s Freshman year.

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