Serenity

Posted by in Recovery Tips, Spiritual | 16 comments


Recommend this article?

As I was reading my daughter’s blog entry where she said that “ The only thing we should strive for, she said, is calm. “, I immediately thought of serenity. The following day, I asked “did you mean serenity?”

And she said “I think so”.

I explained that most human beings search for serenity in their otherwise chaotic life.

But I added Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm , but peace within the storm and I reminded her “Remember the Serenity Prayer poster you bought for dad two years ago from the States?”

serenity prayer
The Serenity Prayer Poster Lauren bought at art.com is now placed at our bedroom wall

The Serenity Prayer is a prayer that applies to most of us in recovery whether in grief, loss, broken-heart, alcoholism, addiction or some dysfunction. And what is the most common element?

God or God as we understand God , to be more politically correct.

Without sounding preachy, I told Lauren “it was God that helped us in our grief recovery. Despite our initial anger with God, He helped us through the pain. Perhaps God can guide you too”.

True, it is God that is our source of guidance and positive change. It doesn’t mean we’re not responsible for ourselves. We are but we aren’t alone. Recovery is not a do-it-yourself project. We do our part, relax, and then trust that the changes we’ll experience will be right for us. Recovery does not mean looking at other people as our source to meet our needs. Sure they can help us but they are not the source. We can tap and trust God for the energy, wisdom and guidance for our recovery process.

We live life one day at a time which requires so much faith in us. We don’t look back at the past unless healing from the past is part of today’s work. We look ahead to make future plans. We focus on this day’s activity, living it to the best of our ability.

We surrender to God’s will . We stop trying to control and settle for a life that is manageable. We trust that God ‘s will for us is good, generous and with a direction. Through trial and error, we learn to separate our will from God’s will. An important of recovery is owning the power to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back or step forward which can be very frightening.

Without God’s help, I would not be where I am today in my grief recovery.

And so every time, some thing bothers me like the angst of my daughter, I always recite the Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

And I call upon God to help me and I will ask for what I need.



If you enjoyed this post, please recommend to your network by adding a plus one . You can also get Email Updates of any new posts by adding your email address below:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

If you enjoyed this post, then make sure you subscribe to my RSS Feed.

The comments posted on my blog are moderated. I reserve the right to remove comments, words or phrases that are defamatory, abusive, incite hatred and advertise an email address or commercial services or just plain spammy. I also reserve the right to remove posts that to my opinion are off-topic, irrelevant, ad-hominem, personal attacks and or just plain rude. (January 16, 2009)
  • http://jester-in-exile.blogspot.com the jester-in-exile

    serenity…. haaaay. yeah, would that it was readily attainable.

    (which is why i had it tattooed on my wrist, to remind me that it takes work to attain it haha)

  • http://www.guitarchic.net Riz

    I often have a problem with worrying. I worry a lot! I worry about my schedule, about my future, about my mom, about things that are beyond my control. And I know God’s always teaching me to be still and know that He is God. It’s a constant struggle, NOT to worry, and NOT to be depressed about things I can’t change. But I think there’s really no easier way to live through this but to believe that Someone greater than myself, and greater than this world, is in control, and that I need not worry because tomorrow is still His. I NEED to be still. To know that He is God. To let Him be God. To let Him take control.

    Another inspiring post, Miss Noemi. Such basic truths that we often forget/neglect. Thanks for reminding us. :) God bless you. :)

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @the jester- wow that’s a nice idea. Hard work actually. I still work on my recovery day in and day out.

    @Riz- When I hit my bottom, that’s when I just let it go. there was no other choice but to surrender. That’s when I started to recover. I hope you find that “serenity” somehow . Remember it is always a work in progress.

  • http://www.thejunkyswife.com The Junky’s Wife

    It makes so much sense, such perfectly simple sense, but sometimes, it’s so hard to let go and let god…

  • http://fruityoaty.com fruityoaty

    Honestly, I used to think that prayer was so trite until it made a personal impact on me last year… when my father undergoed an organ transplant operation.

    My friend had purchased a calendar with that prayer months before the operation… and at one point, I remember looking at that calendar and breaking down and crying.

    The only thing that really got me through that ordeal (thinking that I was going to lose my father)… was my belief in God, as shaky as it was last year. I have since, renewed my faith.

  • http://www.refineme.org Tina

    How fitting for what I am about to write. :) I think what people really strive for is not happiness, but peace. If you have peace, you don’t look for happiness anymore because you are content with what you have, where you are and what you are in. :)

    Like Riz, I keep on worrying too. In fact, yesterday, I heard something that got me worried. And I told my best friend some of my fears, and she said, “I know you know you have to trust God in this, right?” And she’s right. I think, most of the times, God sends storms in our way for us to remember that we don’t have any control over our circumstances, only Him. Sometimes he has to break little parts of our heart for us to grow, and for us to surrender it all up to Him. I admit that a lot of times, I have a hard time doing just that. But in the end, I think it’s the only way to go. Surrendering to God doesn’t mean being imprisoned or allowing yourself to be a captive, but freedom. Freedom from all the stresses in this life, knowing that Someone bigger is taking care of all your concerns, and will not let you down. And that leads to peace.

    I hope I made sense with all those ramblings. :P One thing I learned from the past 21 years of my life is that God is always in control, and His control is waaay better than mine. :D

    God bless Noemi. =)

  • lemon

    Hi Ms. Noemi,

    Every political science class which one prof. of ours taught, began with this prayer. My classmates used to gripe about the prof.’s lackluster performance, but I remember thinking then that if I have to thank her for one thing, this is it-a prayer that made absolute sense, esp. this-

    “the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @junky wife- with practice, you get into the habit of letting go

    @fruityoaty- sometimes we find God at the lowest point in our life. then we realize that God never left us

    @tina- you said it so well. You made so much sense . Yes Peace. That’s what I pray so much for my daughters.

    @lemon- the serenity prayer makes absolute sense. It’s simple and easy to remember. I pray this all the time

  • http://http:/www.ode2old.blogspot.com annamanila

    That’s so calming! We find quiet when we stop trying to control. When we focus on the activity of the moment — giving it our best shot. Thank you for reminding.

  • http://kwentongwalangkwenta.blogspot.com auee

    I learnt this prayer from an old poster my then teenage ate bought. Thanks for reminding me of its value.

  • Hails

    to be in state of serenity is most of the time a choice. our choice.

  • amazing

    this “letting go” thing is hardest for me. why, becoz im a control-freak. which i hate so much…..give me a perfect formula to take is “leeting go” would be a breeze, PLEASE.

  • http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AAPhilippines/ partner1951

    Here’s the original “Serenity Prayer” :

    Full Original Serenity Prayer
    by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

    God, give us grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
    Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
    and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.

    Living one day at a time,
    Enjoying one moment at a time,
    Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
    Taking, as Jesus did,
    This sinful world as it is,
    Not as I would have it,
    Trusting that You will make all things right,
    If I surrender to Your will,
    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
    And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

    Amen.

    You may like to know that the part of this prayer hanging in many people’s houses today, are the same re-written first lines that Alcoholics Anonymous started to use in the early days It’s one of the first things you hear when attending an AA meeting. And I dare say this little prayer must have saved many alcoholics from going back to drinking when the temptation was there!

  • Rhuth R. Isip

    Thank you noemi for your wonderful and inspirational blogs… What u say about God helping us to recovery from grief is so true.. ONly Father God alone can help and guide us to go on living a worthwhile life even if our loved one passed away.. My papa bill died suddenly of a heart attack last year april 30.. NOw healing and acceptance is what we are experiencing, all because of God’s love..

  • amy

    your blog is really very helpful. right now, i am so depressed about things that did not happen as i am expecting it to happen. i am blaming myself that maybe i did not pray a lot that is why it happened not the way i planned it. i forgot that i can only plan but only GOD can decide if my plans will push through or not. i forgot that i cannot control things. That only GOD can control everything. that i can only find peace as long as i submit everything to HIM. that my heart will always be restless until it rests in HIM. HE is the SUPREME BEING and HE knows what is the best for each and everyone of us.

    Thank you very much to you. Now, i am enlightened. that i should trust in HIM. Because HE is our LORD!

  • partner1951

    “Expectations” are pre-meditated resentments.
    What you “plan” will very rarely happen, either because of YOU – or someone or something else that comes in the way. Plan – yes, but don’t plan the outcome ;-)
    Peace of mind and serenity can only be achieved if you learn “to accept life on life’s terms”.
    Having a good relationship with your God is the necessary foundation for this.
    Blaming yourself is the guilt that only cast dark shadows over the beauty of your being, created in God’s image as we all are. It makes you look back in wanting to change your past. This we know, is out of the question for all of us. In other words, it’s like banging your head against a brick wall trying to break the wall down. I do the best I can, that is good enough for God and no human being have any right to question that, because human beings cannot understand another human being fully. Only God can.
    I do not agree that you heart will always be restless. Life is all about “attitude”, and only I am able to change that for good or for better. If you find the key to “peace and serenity”, there is no need to wait for that “rest” while you’re still enjoying being alive! One necessary tool is to have “an attitude of gratitude” ;-)

Switch to our mobile site