What do people live for?

Posted by noemi in Grief | 0 comments

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.”
Horace

TC Bank’s television commercial by Taiwan’s Ogilvy & Mather creative team have created a three-minute ad for a Taiwan bank that asks the question, “What do people live for?”

Though the above TV commercial is based on a real story, it touches a chord in each one of us who lost a loved one, be it a spouse, a parent, a sibling or a child. A group of old men decide to revisit their motorcycling youth after one of their own passes away. I know the feeling all too well .

Have you ever felt you lost a dream? and thought to live it in some other way?

Dreams shattered, one wonders if life is worth living at all. Most bereaved pose that question : “What is there to live for?” despite the fact they may still have loved ones left. I cannot begin to imagine those that have lost whole families.

How does one even begin to live after a loss?

I did not pick up the pieces right away. I believe I had to go through the pain to get through it. And just one day five years after the death of my son, in a moment of silence and solitude, I got my answer. It is true that “No one ever finds life worth living – one has to make it worth living”.

It is simply a choice. As I have written in my first blog post , I chose joy over sadness. It is said that grief is inevitable but misery is optional. I realized that it did no good to sit in my misery pit. It does no good for the loss of my son to lead to the loss of two (me and my son).

It was a decision to lead the second part of my life differently and better than I would have imagined .

I wanted to live a new life, the best possible life . I wanted a meaningful life: to live with honor, integrity, courage, compassion, etc. I know being a homemaker for many years left me shy and unexposed to the outside world. This new life had to be outside my comfort zone to reach out to others like me. Along the way, things fell into place, a baby step at a time. I continue to live my dreams everyday, to make an impact, to go beyond my normal routine as a homemaker , to enjoy life, to keep on loving even when loving is hard to do.

I leave you with thoughts to focus on …

“Whatever the tasks, do them slowly
with ease,
in mindfulness,
so not do any tasks with the goal
of getting them over with.
Resolve to each job in a relaxed way,
with all your attention.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master