By Rob Anderson
Should I still feel so bad, should I still cry so often? I see other
parents smiling, why can’t I? I thought if I did my grief work, it
was supposed to get easier.
Grieving is hard work. Expectations of ourselves, and those that others
place on us, can confuse and make us think we should be in a certain
place at a certain time with our grief. Sometimes we hear, “Your child
died five years ago, aren’t you over it yet?” Or, “It’s been a long
time, why are you still crying?” Those comments hurt and push us
away. Early in my grief, I read the following which helped me
understand that I was fine where I was on my journey: Wherever you
are in your grief is exactly where you should be. To that I would add;
as long as you’re not abusing yourself or others, and not living in
chronic grief.