Denial

Posted by in Recovery Tips | 6 comments


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Have you ever been in denial? Of course, we face denial now and then. It’s not necessarily bad. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from pain, at least temporarily.

Denial is such a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision. For many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop pain caused by reality not by changing our circumstances but by feigning that our circumstances are something other that what faces us.

To those in denial don’t be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy-reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.

Now, it’s time to find that courage. Face the truth. Let it sink in gently.

When we can do that, we will have moved forward.


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  • http://annesherina.wordpress.com bill

    Accepting reality is the hardest thing to do (when it’s all about losing someone you love so dearly). Waking up every morning realizing that your precious child is not going to be around for good just makes it more unbearable. But denying the truth about the reality can bring turmoil to our lives. Moving on is not an easy task. I believe that leaning to God for answers is the best way to do away with denial.

  • http://aliwanfiesta.info eric

    accepting reality is like taking a bitter pill. its just so hard. i am actually in denial right now..

    thats why you get to see me scribble some notes in my facebook from time to time…

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @bill- sometimes I had to shut myself to stop feeling the pain. it doesn’t help in the long run.

    @eric- it’s okay eric. I’ve been there.

  • http://www.laarnaay.com Laarni

    It will take a while to accept like when someone died in the family. first thing is the denial stage and lastly the letting go.

    nice post!

    btw, dear, i have a new domain. check it out ah. *mwah*

  • http://fitzvillafuerte.com Fitz

    It’s okay to be in denial… but it should have a deadline.

    I remember a friend of mine telling me about the usual stages that a person goes through when faced with trauma – DABDA.

    Stands for:
    Denial – Anger – Bargaining – Depression – Acceptance
    (Psych majors please correct if I’m wrong)

    Fitz’s last blog post..Little Known Ways To Save Money When Eating Out

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @fitz- that’s correct but in grief , recovery is not linear but rather like a rollercoaster or one step forward, two steps backward.