The Lessons of Pain

      15 Comments on The Lessons of Pain

filipina
“Dear, if you google Sexy Filipina, I am on the first page.

“Whaaaaa?” My husband looked horrified.

Then I added “Try googling for Sexy Filipina Mom too and my blog is number 1″

I wasn’t about to see my husband choke on his coffee so , I quickly related about the Reshaping The Filipina Image Campaign through our blog entries.

“Isn’t it better for my blog to appear on the first page of those keywords instead of dating, mail order brides, exotic young Pinay babes or porno websites?

My husband agreed.

See, when I first read about the furor over the Sexy Mom internet handle, I thought it best to get over my disappointmet and turn it into a positive statement. The Smart and Sexy Mom herself wrote the entry, A Closure, A New Beginning–Reshaping the Online and Sexy Filipina Image.

That’s what I call turning a pain into something positive. There is a lesson when we are confronted with pain. Something big is being worked out in us.

There are an abundant of sources of pain in our life. Most of us grew up recovering from unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings sometimes from early childhood to the present that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support to deal with.

Inevitable sources of pain enter our life. Sadness and grief comes along when we experience change as we let go of one aspect of our life and begin our journey into the new. There is pain in recovery like my own grief recovery because I allow myself to feel while dropping that protective shield of denial. There is pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future.

I had many options to stop pain but some of them were temporary pain relievers which did not really stop my pain but merely postponed it.

How then can we stop our pain and turn it around for the better?

1. Find the courage to feel the pain. Trust that if you must feel pain , it is part of healing and it’s a good thing.

2. When you are ready , let it go and let the pain move you forward into a new decision , a better life.

3. If applicable, stop those behaviors we are doing that cause pain .

3. Remove yourself from situations that cause repeated, similar pain.

4. Trust that there is a lesson to be learned from the pain. Something is being worked out in us.

A few instances of pain turned me around . I will mention just a few examples:

1. My mom once told me that I will grow up to be like her sister (who married young, pregnant and with 3 lovers). Everytime I would answer her back, “See you will be like your Auntie….” . How I hated to be labeled like that!?! Just because I was a rebellious teen doesn’t make me that kind of person. I decided I will not be the woman my mom envisioned me to be. I grew up to be a responsible teenager.

2. You know of course the pain about losing my son. I turned it around by offering comfort to others with similar pain. My husband and I will soon launch a foundation in honor of our son once we are able to raise the funds.

3. My wonderful sister in law once berated me that my marriage was sick because of me, ignoring the fact that her brother (right in front of her ) was hurling ugly words at me. Of course I applied the Republic Act (RA) 9262 ““Anti-Violence Against Women and Children . Tough Love , right? Enough said.

What about you? Was there any instance in the past that made you turn around to new behaviors or a new life? If you have a past entry, please post it the comments section and I will link it in this blog entry. I want to inspire others that in pain, there is hope that good feelings are just on the other side of the fence.

Asides, I bought a new toy to dabble with during my working hours.

desktop computer
Read all about it in my shopping blog at My Home Office Small Office Desktop Rig

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1389 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.