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April 16, 2007

A Daughter’s Crush and Fears

At the iblog 3 Summit, my daughter who was seated beside me whispered “mom, I’m beginning to like *blogger’s name*. He’s cute.”

Surprise! Surprise! Okay, I was surprised at two things :

1. Wow, she’s starting to confide again.
2. I didn’t realize *blogger’s name* is her type.

I turned towards the direction of my daughter’s affection and giggled at her ear “oh yes, I agree. he’s handsome but I didn’t know you liked him. He seems like a nice guy but..I don’t really know him that well. ”

“do you think he likes me?” she caught my wrist, motioning me to keep my voice down.

I shrugged “now why would I have that information? if *blogger’s name* liked you, why in the world would he ever tell me? I’d be the last person he’d confide to. ”

“He’s cute” she continues to gush.

***A few hours later***

She whined “Mom, I don’t think I have a chance with *blogger’s name* . I don’t think he likes me. He didn’t seem interested in a conversation”

“Don’t worry. Men can be clueless. Just be friends for now. Who knows what will happen?” I adviced her.

“Mom, I think he might be afraid of you”

“Now why would he be scared of me? If he has bad intentions, then he ‘d better be scared of me. I bite.”

I don’t blame her for thinking that way. Old feelings probably came rushing on to her.

I had the “NO BOYFRIEND TILL YOU ARE 18” rule. My daughters knew of this rule since they turned 13. I think it stemmed from my own upbringing. My parents instilled the same rule. Butch warned me that Lauren will have boyfriends like his sisters did when they were in high school. I assured my husband “Don’t worry. They won’t have any boyfriends”. So I thought Lauren would be like me , immune to guys. Despite the rule, I allowed my daughters to attend parties, hangout at the mall or receive phone calls from guys. I felt I wasn’t too restrictive despite the rule.

One day, I found out that 14 year old Lauren already had a boyfriend after the mother of the boy called me up. She wanted parental supervision. I flatly refused.

Being a control-freak mother at that time “NO OFFENSE ON YOUR SON, LAUREN CAN’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.” My voice sounded a notch higher than usual.

That whole summer, she was grounded.

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