I wrote this many years ago but I want to share this story again because Easter Sunday is very special.

“If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” Luijoe asked. My six-year-old was lying on the bed, flipping through the prayer books piled on his tummy.

luijoe-at-luijoe-meadow1

It was Holy Week, a month before that fateful day of May 27, 2000.

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I turned my body to face him and stroked his cheek. How could I explain the mysteries of death to a little boy? “When we die, Lui, we will live forever, through eternal life in heaven,” I said the lines I’d memorized from the teachings of our Catholic Church.

“When I die, I will be alive again!” he exclaimed, jumping in bed, arms wide in exuberance.

“Yes, baby, you will live forever, but not on Earth.” I smiled at his childish enthusiasm and wide-eyed wonder. “I won’t see you anymore, but you will have eternal life with God.”

my son
With a serious look on his face, he asked, “Mama, who goes to heaven?” His chubby fingers twirled on the strands of my hair. He sniffed the ends and splayed my hair along his cheeks.

“Good boys go to heaven and usually they become angels.”

“I don’t want to go to hell,” he said with vehemence.

I hugged him, said he was a good boy, and promised that he would never go to hell.

Head bowed, he picked up a prayer book to continue praying, then looked up. With both hands planted firmly on my cheeks, he asked, “Are the clouds heaven?”

“I’m not sure if the clouds are heaven, but it’s somewhere up there and hell is down there,” I said, kissing his fat cheeks.

He never tired of asking the same questions over and over again, as though reassuring himself that there were angels that protected him and that heaven was a beautiful place to go when someone died.

Why had I not seen our conversation as a sign that something devastating was about to happen? If I had sensed the omen then, could I have prevented his death? Had Luijoe known he was leaving us soon and in his childlike way, tried to warn me?

(The above is an excerpt from the story I wrote on Luijoe’s Life and Death from The Fallen Cradle edited by Agnes Prieto)

Sometimes I wished I had the power to go back in time and stopped his death. Of course, that is not possible. Those wonderful words he told me weeks before his death is what keeps my faith alive.

Luijoe’s words never fail to bring me hope that we will reunite one day. It gives me the courage to put meaning in my life.

My religious background always taught me that Jesus is in Heaven with God and the angels and that Heaven is a place to go , but only after we die. The ultimate questions rests on , “how can anyone see or experience Heaven after they’re dead, since we’re taught when you die, everything ceases to exist? ” “Or does the spirit live on?” Has anyone actually heard a heaven testimonial from a loved one?

Another common question is “What is the use in striving for something that is intangible, invisible and unseen? Or is it? Eternal Life seems so elusive.”

Yet I will go with my faith. I believe my greatest proof is my son when he innocently exclaimed that “When I die, I will be alive again” two weeks before his untimely death. How simplistic but that is faith.

Faith is one of the virtues that keeps me alive and going in this temporary world.

“I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” (John11:25,25)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)

May Easter Day remind us not only of our Lord’s resurrection but also that of our precious children. We hope your celebration of Easter is filled with the joy the Christ offers in his resurrection.

Happy Easter day to all.

stjohn.jpgWhen a child dies, it’s not the natural order of things. For many years, I struggled to find the meaning of my son’s death. Five years and a lot of pain later, I finally found the answers. It all started with an email to Cathy after I invited her to join as co-founder for the Compassionate Friends Philippines.I have to mention that this support group is not around anymore,  but I continue to offer comfort in my aboutmyrecovery.com blog.

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She replied and readily agreed to join. What struck me was her statement:

I now know that we are called to serve in different ways because we have different missions. Setting up Compassionate Friends in the Philippines is clearly yours as Migi’s Corner and Grief counselling and death education are mine.

How could that be? If I wanted a mission, a foundation seems a more noble idea. “The Compassionate Friends” is not an original idea. So there I was thinking, Alma, Cathy and Pia initiated foundations all in the memory of their children. I don’t have any memorial or foundation in Luijoe’s name. I felt a bit sad, but Cathy’s words stuck in my mind for many days until I remembered a conversation with my son during Holy Week.

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The actual picture that Luijoe pointed out in his prayerbook

This is what I wrote in Luijoe’s memorial site almost 21 years ago:

Then one night while we had our usual prayers before bedtime, he pointed to the picture of St. John the Apostle which was found in his Rosary Prayer book. I explained that Jesus told John to take care and comfort his mother when he dies. Luijoe seemed to be touched by St. John and the following nights, he kept repeating the same question and this time he was asking how John was related to Mother Mary. I found that to be a very deep question, and I just said he was one of Jesus’ apostle.

Now I realized the meaning. It was like Luijoe was making sure I would remember John. I did remember our conversation during the wake .It touched my heart that my son was worried about my grief.

I realized Luijoe wanted me to carry on the comfort to others. The St. John symbolizes compassion. By working with The Compassionate Friends, I would act like a “St. John” to other bereaved parents. This memory brought tears of joy and nostalgia. Even if I am no longer around in this mortal world, this grief support group will still continue on. Truly, God works in mysterious ways and He uses our children to help us find and shape our ministries. It is our children who remind us of the bigger work that God has set out for us in this world.

I wrote this post a long time ago when I was still active with “The Compassionate Friends”. But I continue to talk to parents who have lost a child through my blog and sharing this podcast. My son never let me forget that there are many “St. Johns” in my life. Today, Good Friday reminds me Luijoe is never entirely gone

Luijoe is never entirely gone.

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Luijoe’s favorite prayer book

Forgiveness sets you free from resentment’s confines; it breaks down the walls that anger builds and negativity reinforces.

I was struck by a facebook post from a friend. She shared the simple Act of Contrition taught to her in grade school to her own daughter. Here it is

O God, I am sorry for my sins. Please forgive me. I know you love me and I want to love you, and be good to everyone. Help me make up for my sins, I will try to do better from now on. Amen

I was also taught about the act of contrition in a Catholic School but that was over 40 years ago. All I remember is “Forgive me, Father for I have sinned…these are my sins…blah blah”. The act of contrition is a Christian prayer genre that expresses sorrow for sins. I don’t need to rattle off my sins to a priest because I have done this privately many times.  I believe God is everywhere.

The truth is I have sinned for acts that I did as a wife and mother. Though I have said sorry and seeked forgiveness from God and from family members as well, I think one must also forgive oneself and never do it again. Apologize and make amends for one’s bad action or words are the steps to healing and preventing resentment in relationships.

It’s never too late to apologize

Why should I apologize? I have learned that as long as I am sincere in my apology, saying sorry lifts that the burden off my chest as instant relief washes over me. I certainly don’t want to prolong any bad blood.  A proper apology will straighten everything out. According to psychologist Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid, “An effective apology doesn’t just heal the wound for the other person. It’ll dissolve your guilt, too.”

Basically, whenever an apology is given, one has to truly mean it—and strive to change one’s behavior so that  mistakes won’t happen again.

Twelve  years ago, my husband and I had our own share of marital conflicts. He would do something I found objectionable and then very quickly say sorry. I told him I  more interested in seeing his  behavior change.  It’s easy to say sorry; it’s harder to spend the time to understand why you’ve hurt someone and to work on not hurting them again.

Practice forgiveness

Through the years, my husband has shown through his actions that he wanted  to change. After truly being sorry, forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we gave each other.

Forgiveness sets you free from resentment’s confines; it breaks down the walls that anger builds and negativity reinforces.

When we forgive, we stop letting our pasts dictate our presents. We acknowledge we want the very best for ourselves; accepting that our past makes us the person we are today, and embracing that.

Letting go of resentment doesn’t necessarily lead to forgiveness, but when you embrace forgiveness, resentment ceases to exist.

I know that I cannot control what other people do including family members, but I can control how I react. When I practice truthful living, self-expression, and forgiveness, resentment simply has no place or power in my life.

Meditation gives you an opportunity to come to know your invisible self. It allows you to empty yourself of the endless hyperactivity of your mind, and to attain calmness. It teaches you to be peaceful, to remove stress, to receive answers where confusion previously reigned. – Wayne Dyer

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Right across our house is the parish church for over 5000 or more residents. A few years ago, we agonized over the wailing and chanting of “pabasa”. Fortunately, there is none this year.

I don’t know with you but I find the “pabasa” very irritating especially if the marathon chant is done right across your house. As you are all aware, the “pabasa” is a uniquely Filipino tradition of chanting or singing the pasyon, a book narrating the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some would say that I should make it a personal vow or panata during Holy Week. Really, it’s no use escaping the Pabasa’s wailing chants. It is like forcing me to reflect on its messages, and to relate to the suffering of Jesus.

Michael Tan in his article on. Pabasa on a Carabao, tells us more on the origins of the “Pabasa”

The Passion plays, and our Pabasa (sometimes also called Pasyon), are not just religious rituals. They are intended literally to indoctrinate the public, which is instilling doctrine. Given how central Christ’s Passion and death are to Christian doctrines, the Pabasa is there to hammer down the messages around Christ’s redemptive act.

Today is unlike the past. There are choices on how we choose to reflect on our spirituality.

The “pabasa” is really meditating but just done loudly. I prefer to meditate quietly. I recognize that Jesus is God so I talk directly to Him. Now, to meditate is a route to improving my conscious contact with God. Meditation means opening my mind and my spiritual energy to the God connection. I cannot connect to God in a noisy environment so I prefer to do so in peace and tranquility. I want to relax as best as I can and open my consciousness and subconscious mind to God.

Today being Holy Thursday is a quiet day. I have time to slow down, to stop what I am doing and take this kind of break. During normal days, my meditation and prayer comes to play when I am alone in the sanctuary of my room. It is during these times when answers, insight or inspiration hit me. Sometimes it might not be immediate but solutions are surely coming.

If I did my part on meditation and prayer, I then let the rest go. I allow my conscious contact with God improve so that my subconscious contact will too. I discovered that with time, I found myself in tune with God’s harmony and will for me. I find and maintain that soul connection, the God connection.

I know all of us take our own moments for meditation and prayer either the first thing in the morning, during a coffee break or in the evening. It is our choice.

meditation
Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Practical Guide to Meditation

“Connect to the divine Source with unconditional love. This principles creates an awareness of the significance of accepting your manifestations with absolute love.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

1.) “There’s no such thing as a bad meditation. Any time you spend time in silence is valuable, even if your inner voice is persistent and loud. Don’t judge it; just observe it. Simply observe yourself sitting there, and when a stray thought suddenly appears, just note it, and use its presence as a reminder to go back to the gap.”

2.) “With time, your inner dialogue will shut down. We all know that mastery is seldom achieved without practice. Meditation is no exception. Perhaps that’s why it’s called practice. With the passage of time, you’ll easily slip into the gap with joyous anticipation of reuniting with God.”

3.) “There’s no right or wrong time to meditate. Each of us finds our most comfortable time of day, so don’t try to do this on someone else’s schedule. You can slip into the gap frequently if you take advantage of a two minute stop at a traffic light, a pause in a meeting, a trip to the rest room, or the time you spend waiting for an appointment.”
field-meditation

4.) “There’s no correct mediation length. I find that approximately 20 minutes per session twice daily is optimal for me. However, even a few moments can be nurturing. I’ve also learned that a two or three hour flight is a grand opportunity for me to spend an extended period of time in the gap, and that the time passes in what seems like a few moments.”

5.) “There’s no correct posture or place for meditation. Find what makes you comfortable and trust it. Sitting, lying down, kneeling – whatever works for you is the perfect posture. Anyplace at all can serve as your location. Since I travel so much, I’m not particular about location, while some people I know use the same posture, the same chair, and the same time every day. Whatever ““floats your boat”, as my teenagers say, is fine.”

So if someone says to us, by word or by action, “You should be over
that by now,” we can recall the words from the Talmud: “Judge no one before you have been in his place.”

my-childrenWhen people ask how many kids I have, I always say three children and pretty soon, the question goes on details like “are they in school”, “how old are they?” If I am not in the mood, I just say two children because the conversation will always lead to my son’s whereabouts. The moment I say my third child died 10 years ago, I feel a sense of discomfort.

More often than not “you’ve moved on , right?” , or “you found closure already?”

If a well-meaning friend said something inappropriate with respect to Luijoe’s death, I would try to focus on the intent of the comment instead of the comment itself. Maybe, my friend just didn’t know what to say.


Move on. It is just a chapter in the past but don’t close the book, just turn the page. – Unknown
Moving on does not mean closure…

However when they are acquaintances, I find it terribly annoying. The word “closure” carries with it an underlying message of impatience: “OK,” the person appears to be saying, “it’s time to get over it.”

Am I being overly sensitive? Perhaps.

It is not just me though. In meetings with the Compassionate Friends, the word “closure” bothers most parents. The “c word,” seemed to push all our buttons.

It is understandable that our friends feel uneasy in the presence of pain. How they wish they can take away our grief. That’s okay. But bereaved parents resent the implication of failure or self-absorption if one can’t adhere to a recovery schedule.

We do, in our own individual ways, gradually get better at bearing our loss. Mainly, the pain simply softens with the passage of time. Moving on means that we live a new normal never forgetting the love and memories of our beloved.

Ashley Davis Prend says that closure is not for people we love or for feelings.

Closure simply does not exist emotionally, not in a pure sense. We cannot close the door on the past as if it didn’t exist because, after losing someone dear to us, we never forget that person or the love we shared. And in some ways, we never entirely get over the loss. We learn to live with the loss, to integrate it into our new identity.

Imagine if we really could end this chapter in our life, completely. It would mean losing our memories, our connections to those we love. If we really found closure, it would ironically hurt even more because the attachment would be severed. And this attachment is vital to us—the memories are treasures to be held close, not closed out.

Perhaps it is better to think in terms of healing. Yes, we can process our pain and move to deeper and deeper levels of healing. Yes, we can find ways to move on and channel our pain into productive activities. Yes, we can even learn to smile again and laugh again and love again.

I have not closed the door on what my loss meant, for if I did that, I would inadvertently close the door on all the love that Luijoe and I shared. And that would truly be a loss too terrible to bear.


Luijoe meadow somewhere in the North, where his grandparents live today

The Holy Week is one of the most memorable time of the year. Being a “cafeteria Catholic” my religious faith is at best mediocre. Luijoe, my innocent and religious 6 year old son often chastised me for not praying hard enough .

 


Painting on the wall of Church of Holy Sacrifice, UP Campus

I felt like a terrible mother who led a ho-hum religious existence. Gosh, we learn so much from our children , don’t we? It is the Holy Week which reminds me of my son. The image of the dying Jesus when he blurted out  “Woman, behold thy son, Behold thy mother” struck a chord in my son’s heart.


Luijoe photo taken at Luijoe meadow during Holy Week 2000

Every night, Luijoe pointed to that image asking me over and over again what it meant. He pointed to John the Beloved “Who is he? How is he related to the Mother of Jesus?” Strange he asked about John. I cuddled Luijoe in my arms and explained that the dying Jesus wanted John the Beloved to take care of his grieving mother. How was I to know that my own son would die the following weeks? During the funeral, I remember those last words and took it literally to mean that my family or my friends would take care of me in my bereavement, that there would be “John the Beloved” who will help me.

luijoe meadow

When a death as devastating as the loss of a child hits you, one tries to find meaning. One tries to make sense out of it. The time came when I realized that those last words were not about me. It was about me helping those who are in pain , because the grief journey is not easy. My son made sure that I would not be alone in this journey as long as I continue to help others. He made sure I remember to be the “John the Beloved” and be compassionate to other people’s pain.

luijoe meadow1

I look back and reflect on that poignant scene. It is my son’s way of reminding me that I will find comfort and still be a comfort to others:

He who was nailed to the cross, wanted to spare His mother further pain, not only for that moment, but for her entire future. He put her in the care of the apostle whom ““He loved” and whom He knew would care for her in return. Even as Jesus was dying, He went beyond himself to addresses someone else’s need.


Luijoe meadow at night, taken by Sean, my brother-in-law 2010 Christmas day

The Seven Last Words remind me of my son who died so young yet I know he continues to live in me through my work, my actions and devotion. Luijoe is with me everyday.

Here is something soothing:
Mozart Ave Verum Corpus por Leonard Bernstein

I am listening to “Tomaso Albinoni- Adagio in G Minor by Gizatto” as I write this post.

I’m exhausted. Not from work but from trying to figure out things from 3:00 PM till midnight yesterday. That’s all I can do. I can only do so much. It is not my job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, life. There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does. I trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.

I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday – Natalia Campbell

The way my life is unfolding is good.

Who I am and the way I do things is good enough for today.

Who I am and the way I did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Today, I will let go and take in healing thoughts.

At times like these, I need to think healing thoughts.


Life is like riding a bicycle . In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving Albert Einstein
When in doubt about my timing or present position in life, I assure myself that all is well. I am right where I am meant to be. I reassure myself that others are too.

When I ponder the future, I tell myself that it will be good. When I look back at the past, I relinquish regrets.

When I feel discomfort, I know it will pass. When I identify a need, I tell myself that it will be met.

When I notice problems, I affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.

When I worry about those I love, I ask God to protect and care for them. When I worry about myself, I ask God to do the same.

When I think about others, I think of love. When I think of myself, I think of love.

I watch as my thoughts transform to reality.

Today, I will think healing thoughts.


“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” Seneca , Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

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This is the full text of Pope Francis’ homily, as delivered during the Holy Mass at the Quirino Grandstand in Luneta, Manila, Sunday January 18 (Source: Rappler)

Pope Francis Homily

“A child is born to us, a son is given us” (Is 9:5). It is a special joy for me to celebrate Santo Niño Sunday with you. The image of the Holy Child Jesus accompanied the spread of the Gospel in this country from the beginning. Dressed in the robes of a king, crowned and holding the sceptre, the globe and the cross, he continues to remind us of the link between God’s Kingdom and the mystery of spiritual childhood. He tells us this in today’s Gospel: “Whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a child will not enter it” (Mk 10:15). The Santo Niño continues to proclaim to us that the light of God’s grace has shone upon a world dwelling in darkness, bringing the Good News of our freedom from slavery, and guiding us in the paths of peace, right and justice. The Santo Niño also reminds us of our call to spread the reign of Christ throughout the world.

In these days, throughout my visit, I have listened to you sing the song: “We are all God’s children.” That is what the Santo Niño tells us. He reminds us of our deepest identity. All of us are God’s children, members of God’s family. Today Saint Paul has told us that in Christ we have become God’s adopted children, brothers and sisters in Christ. This is who we are. This is our identity. We saw a beautiful expression of this when Filipinos rallied around our brothers and sisters affected by the typhoon.

The Apostle tells us that because God chose us, we have been richly blessed! God “has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens” (Eph 1:3). These words have a special resonance in the Philippines, for it is the foremost Catholic country in Asia; this is itself a special gift of God, a special blessing. But it is also a vocation. Filipinos are called to be outstanding missionaries of the faith in Asia.

God chose and blessed us for a purpose: to be holy and blameless in his sight (Eph 1:4). He chose us, each of us to be witnesses of his truth and his justice in this world. He created the world as a beautiful garden and asked us to care for it. But through sin, man has disfigured that natural beauty; through sin, man has also destroyed the unity and beauty of our human family, creating social structures which perpetuate poverty, ignorance and corruption.

Pope Francis in Luneta

Sometimes, when we see the troubles, difficulties and wrongs all around us, we are tempted to give up. It seems that the promises of the Gospel do not apply; they are unreal. But the Bible tells us that the great threat to God’s plan for us is, and always has been, the lie. The devil is the father of lies. Often he hides his snares behind the appearance of sophistication, the allure of being “modern”, “like everyone else.” He distracts us with the promise of ephemeral pleasures, superficial pastimes. And so we squander our God-given gifts by tinkering with gadgets; we squander our money on gambling and drink; we turn in on ourselves. We forget to remain focused on the things that really matter. We forget to remain, at heart, children of God. That is sin: [to] forget at heart that we are children of God. For children, as the Lord tells us, have their own wisdom, which is not the wisdom of the world. That is why the message of the Santo Niño is so important. He speaks powerfully to all of us. He reminds us of our deepest identity, of what we are called to be as God’s family.

The Santo Niño also reminds us that this identity must be protected. The Christ Child is the protector of this great country. When he came into the world, his very life was threatened by a corrupt king. Jesus himself needed to be protected. He had an earthly protector: Saint Joseph. He had an earthly family, the Holy Family of Nazareth. So he reminds us of the importance of protecting our families, and those larger families which are the Church, God’s family, and the world, our human family. Sadly, in our day, the family all too often needs to be protected against insidious attacks and programs contrary to all that we hold true and sacred, all that is most beautiful and noble in our culture.

Photo via @noynoyaquino

Photo via @noynoyaquino

In the Gospel, Jesus welcomes children, he embraces them and blesses them (Mk 10:16). We too need to protect, guide and encourage our young people, helping them to build a society worthy of their great spiritual and cultural heritage. Specifically, we need to see each child as a gift to be welcomed, cherished and protected. And we need to care for our young people, not allowing them to be robbed of hope and condemned to life on the streets.

It was a frail child, in need of protection, who brought God’s goodness, mercy and justice into the world. He resisted the dishonesty and corruption which are the legacy of sin, and he triumphed over them by the power of his cross. Now, at the end of my visit to the Philippines, I commend you to him, to Jesus who came among us as a child. May he enable all the beloved people of this country to work together, protecting one another, beginning with your families and communities, in building a world of justice, integrity and peace. May the Santo Niño continue to bless the Philippines and may he sustain the Christians of this great nation in their vocation to be witnesses and missionaries of the joy of the Gospel, in Asia and in the whole world.

Please don’t forget to pray for me! God bless you!

Here is the full transcript of Pope Francis’ impromptu speech sourced from Rappler , as delivered during the encounter with the youth at the University of Santo Tomas in Manila on Sunday, January 18. This is the prepared speech which he did not use.

Pope Francis in UST

Dear Young Friends,

When I speak spontaneously I do it in Spanish, because I don’t know the English language. May I do it? Thank you very much. This Fr Mark, a good translator.

As translated from Spanish by Msgr Mark Gerard Miles

First of all, a sad piece of news. Yesterday, as Mass was about to start, a piece of scaffolding fell and, upon falling, hit a young woman who was working in the area and she died. Her name is Kristel. She worked for the organization preparing for that Mass. She was 27 years old, young like yourselves. She worked for Catholic Relief Services as a volunteer. I would like all of you who are young like her to pray for a moment in silence with me and then we will pray to Our Mother in Heaven. Let us pray.

Leads prayer of Hail Mary…

Let us also pray for her parents. She was an only child. Her mother is coming from Hong Kong and her father is here in Manila.

Leads prayer of Our Father…

It is a joy for me to be with you this morning. I greet each of you from the heart, and I thank all those who made this meeting possible. During my visit to the Philippines, I wanted in a particular way to meet with young people, to listen to you and to talk with you. I want to express the love and the hopes of the Church for you. And I want to encourage you, as Christian citizens of this country, to offer yourselves passionately and honestly to the great work of renewing your society and helping to build a better world.

In a special way, I thank the young people who have offered words of welcome to me.

To Jun and Leandro Santos II and to Rikki, thank you very much. There’s only a very small representation of girls among you. Too little. Women have much to tell us in today’s society. Sometimes we are too “machistas” and we don’t allow enough space to women. But women can see things from a different angle to us, with a different eye. Women are able to pose questions we men are unable to understand. Look out for this fact: she is the only one who has put a question for which there is no answer. She couldn’t put it into words but expressed it with tears. So when the next pope comes to Manila, please let there be more girls.

tulay kabataan children

I thank you Jun for talking about your experience so bravely. As I said, the heart of your question has no reply. Only when we too can cry about the things you said can we come close to answering that question. Why do children suffer so much? Why do children suffer? When the heart is able to ask itself and weep, then we can understand something. There is a worldly compassion which is useless. You expressed something like this. It’s a compassion that makes us put our hands in our pockets and give something to the poor. But if Christ had had that kind of compassion he would have greeted a couple of people, given them something, and walked on. But it was only when he was able to cry that he understood something of our lives. Dear young boys and girls, today’s world doesn’t know how to cry. The emarginated people, those left to one side, are crying. Those who are discarded are crying. But we don’t understand much about these people in need. Certain realities of life we only see through eyes cleansed by our tears. I invite each one here to ask yourself: have I learned how to weep? Have I learned how to weep for the emarginated or for a street child who has a drug problem or for an abused child? Unfortunately there are those who cry because they want something else.

This is the first thing I want to say: let us learn how to weep as she has shown us today and let us not forget this lesson. The great question of why so many children suffer, she did this in tears. The response that we can make today is: let us really learn how to weep.

Photo via Rappler.com

Photo via Rappler.com

In the Gospel, Jesus cried for his dead friend, he cried in his heart for the family who lost its child, for the poor widow who had to bury her son. He was moved to tears and compassion when he saw the crowds without a pastor. If you don’t learn how to cry, you cannot be a good Christian. This is a challenge. When they posed this question to us, why children suffer, why this or that tragedy occurs in life – our response must be either silence or a word that is born of our tears. Be courageous, don’t be afraid to cry.

Pope Francis with little girl

Then came Leandro Santos II and his question. He also posed a good question: the world of information. Today, with so many means of communication we are overloaded with information. Is that bad? No. It is good and can help. But there is a real danger of living in a way that we accumulate information. We have so much information but maybe we don’t know what to do with that information. So we run the risk of becoming museums of young people who have everything but not knowing what to do with it. We don’t need young museums but we do need holy young people. You may ask me: Father, how do we become saints? This is another challenge. It is the challenge of love. What is the most important subject you have to lean at university? What is most important subject you have to learn in life? To learn how to love. This is the challenge that life offers you: to learn bow to love. Not just to accumulate information without knowing what to do with it.. But through that love let that information bear fruit.

For this the Gospel offers us a serene way forward: using the three languages of the mind, heart and hands – and to use them in harmony. What you think, you must feel and put into effect. Your information comes down to your heart and you put it into practice. Harmoniously. What you think, you feel and you do. Feel what you think and feel what you do. Do what you think and what you feel. The three languages…

pope francis message

Can you repeat this? To think. To feel. To do. And all in harmony…

Real love is about loving and letting yourself be loved. It’s harder to let yourself be loved than to love. That is why it is so difficult to come to the perfect love of God. We can love Him but we must let ourselves be loved by Him. Real love is being open to the love that comes to you. The love that surprises us. If you only have information you are not surprised. Love surprises because it opens a dialogue of loving and being loved. God is a God of surprise because He loved us first. God awaits us to surprise us. Let us allow ourselves to be surprised by God. Let us not have a computer psychology that makes us think we know it all. All answers on computers – but no surprises. The challenge of love. God reveals himself through surprises.

Think of St Matthew. He was a good banker. But he let people down because he imposed taxes against his own people to give to the Romans. He was full of money. Jesus passed by, looked at him and said: “Follow me”. He couldn’t believe it. It you have the opportunity, see Caravaggio’s picture of him. Jesus calls him and those around say: “Him? He betrayed us! He is no good! He hoards money!” But the surprise of being loved overcomes him. The day when Matthew left home for work, saying goodbye to his wife, he couldn’t imagine he would come home without money and have to prepare a feast for the one who loved him first. God surprised Matthew more than the money he had. Allow yourselves to be surprised by God. Don’t be afraid of surprises. They shake the ground beneath our feet and make us insecure, but they move us forward in the right direction.

Real love allows you to spend yourselves, to leave your pockets empty. Think of St Francis who died with empty hands and empty pockets but with a full heart. Remember: no young museums, and wise young people. To be wise use three languages: think well, feel well and do well. And to be wise allow yourselves to be surprised by the love of God. That will guarantee a good life.

Rikki came up with a good plan for what we can do in life with all young people’s activities.

Thank you, Rikki, for what you and your friends do. I’d like to ask you a question: you and your friends help others but do you allow yourselves to receive? Answer in your heart.

Pope Francis smiling

In the Gospel we just heard, there was a beautiful phrase, for me the most important of all: Jesus looked at the young man and he loved him. When you see Rikki and his friends you love them because they do good things. Jesus says something very important: you lack one thing. Let us listen to this word in silence: you lack only one thing.

What is it that I lack? To all of you who Jesus loves so much, I ask you: do you allow others to give you from their riches to you who have not? The Sadducees, Doctors of the Law, in the time of Jesus, gave much to the people, they taught the people the law, but they never allowed the people to give them something. Jesus had to come to allow himself to feel compassion and to be loved.

Pope Francis in UST 1

How many young people among you are like this? You know how to give and yet you have ever learned how to receive. You still lack one thing. Become a beggar. This is what you still lack. Learn how to beg. This isn’t easy to understand. To learn how to beg. To learn how to receive with humility. To learn to be evangelized by the poor, by those we help, the sick, orphans, they have so much to give us. Have I learned how to beg? Or am I self-sufficient? Do I think I need nothing? Do you know you too are poor? Do you know your own poverty and your need to receive? Do you let yourselves be evangelized by those you serve? This is what helps you mature in your commitment to give to others. Learn how to open your hand from your very own poverty.

There are some points I have prepared. The first, I already told you: to learn how to love and to learn how to be loved. There is a challenge which is a challenge of u. This is not only because your country more than many others is likely to be seriously affected by climate change. There is the challenge, the concern for the environment. And finally, there is the challenge for the poor, to love the poor, with your bishops. Do you think of the poor? Do you feel with the poor? Do you do something for the poor? Do you ask the poor to give you the wisdom they have?

This is what I wish to tell you all today. Sorry if I haven’t read what I prepared for you but there is a phrase that consoles me: that reality is superior to ideas. The reality that you have is superior to the paper I have in front of me.

Thank you very much. Pray for me!

 

Pope Francis in UST with the youth

HOMILY OF POPE FRANCIS
Mass with survivors of Supertyphoon “Yolanda”
Daniel Z. Romualdez International Airport, Tacloban City
17 January 2015
(Delivered originally in Spanish)

Pope Francis in Tacloban

We have a high priest who is capable of sympathizing with our weakness but one who is seemingly being tested in every way, yet without sin. Jesus is like us. Jesus lived like us. He is the same as us in every respect, except sin, because he was not a sinner. He assumed our condition and our sin. He made himself unto sin. This is what St. Paul tells us and Jesus always goes before us.

And when we pass an experience across, he passed there before us. And if today we find ourselves 14 months afterwards here,14 months precisely after Typhoon Yolanda hit, it is because we have the security of knowing we are not going to weaken in our faith, because Jesus has been there before us. In his passion he assumed all our pain.

I would like to tell you something close to my heart: When I saw from Rome that catastrophe I felt that I had to be here. And on those very days I decided to come here I’m here to be with you. A little bit late, I have to say, but I’m here. I come to tell you that Jesus is Lord and he never lets us down.

Father, you might say to me, “I was let down because I have lost some many things, house, livelihood; I have illness.” It’s true if you would say that and I respect those sentiments. But Jesus there, nailed to the cross, and from there he does not let us down. He was consecrated as Lord on that throne and there he experienced all calamities that we experienced.

Jesus is Lord and the Lord from the cross, he’s there for you. Therefore he is capable of understanding us – as we heard in the first reading – in everything, the same as us. That is why we have a Lord who is capable of crying with us, capable of walking with us in the most difficult moments of life.

So many of you have lost everything. I don’t know what to say to you, but the Lord does know what to say to you. Some of you lost part of your families. All I can do is keep silent, and I walk with you all with my silent heart. Many of you have asked the Lord, “Why, Lord?” And to each of you, to you heart, Christ responds from his heart upon the cross.

Pope Francis:  I know you have lost much. In my silence, I am with you.

Pope Francis: I know you have lost much. In my silence, I am with you.

I have no more words to tell you. Let us look to Christ. He is the Lord. He understands us because he underwent all the trials that we, that you, have experienced. And beside the cross was his mother; we are like this little child just there. In the moments when we have so much pain, when we no longer understand anything, all we can do is grab hold of her hand firmly and say, “Mom,” as a child does to her mother, when he or she feels fear. It is perhaps the only word that we can say in such difficult times: Mother, mom.

Let us together hold a moment of silence. Let us look to the Christ on the cross. He understands us because he endured everything. Let us look to our mother and, like that little child, let us grab hold of her mantle and with a true heart, say, “Mother.” In the silence say to the mother what you say to your hearts.

(Moment of silence)

Let us know that we have a Mother Mary and a senior brother, a great brother, Jesus. We are not alone. We also have many brothers who, in this moment of catastrophe, came to help you. And we, too, because of this we feel more brothers and sisters, because we helped each other.

This is what comes from my heart and forgive me if I have no other words to express this. But please know Jesus never lets you down, please know that the love and tenderness of Mother Mary never lets you down, and holding on to [Mother Mary’s] mantle, and with the power that comes from Jesus’ love on the cross, lets us move forward, always forward and walk together as brothers and sisters in the lord, forward.

Thank you very much.

Source : from @inquirerdotnet