Loving Myself Unconditionally

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It takes two to make a relationship work. It is easy to blame the other partner if something fails in a relationship. I used to blame my husband for every little thing without even checking if I too had my faults. When I took away the focus from my husband and turned to myself, wonderful things happened to me, my family and my life, in general.

love yourself first

What did I do?

Loving myself unconditionally!

It means loving myself into health and a good life of my own. It meant loving myself into all that I have always wanted. Yes, love myself into peace, happiness, success, joy and contentment.

So how do I love myself?

It wasn’t easy at first. I had to force myself to and even “faked” it. By “acting as if“. To practice the positive, I act as if. It’s a positive form of pretending. It’s a useful tool to use to get ourselves unstuck.

Here is what I did.

1. Embrace and love all of myself including past, present and future. I forgave myself and as often as necessary, I talk to myself and list down my good points.

2. If negative thoughts entered my mind, I get them out in the open quickly and replace those beliefs with positive and uplifting ones.

3. I gently pat myself when necessary. I discipline myself and even ask for help when needed.

4. I give treats to myself. I don’t allow myself to work like a carabao, pushing and driving myself to stressful levels. I learned to be good to myself.

5. I stopped explaining and justifying myself. When I make a mistake, I let it go. I learn, I grow and learn some more and despite it all, I love myself.

I constantly work at loving myself. One day, I looked up at myself in the mirror and loved what I saw. I saw a new and lovely me. Loving myself had become habitual.


Loving ourselves sounds like an alien concept and even foolish at times. Some may accuse us of being selfish. But do we have to believe them? People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most and love the most.

Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.

Remember, you are lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1388 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

  • This is a wonderful post, Ms. Noemi. Working moms, like myself, are always prioritizing the needs of our husbands and kids always and oftentimes forgetting that we need to see to our own needs, too. This usually leads to burnout and boredom in my case, and one effective way I discovered to turn this thing around is to pamper myself sometimes. Once or twice a month, I go to the beauty salon for that much-needed hair-trimming and nail-cleaning. If I’m lucky, I would have foot spa, too. Doing these simple things for myself makes me less grouchy and absolutely more pleasant to be around.

    • Tetcha, I thought that myself was the last priority . How wrong I was. taking of myself first made me a very lovable person. You are right. I became less grouchy and became a more pleasant person.

  • Ami

    I agree with the notion of loving oneself even when I was still single. I usually splurge on books and food. While it is not bad to have these as “vices”, I realized not too long ago that I am still not balancing it. Truth is, I’ve having (over) weight problems and that also means not loving myself. As a Valentine gift to myself, I have started watching weight and hopefully get into an exercise program soon.

    Amis last blog post..25 Random Things About Ami

    • I used to be borderline obese but I enrolled in a fitness program and lost some weight. I am still overweight but I look so much better.