The good old Erap Jokes

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Updated: I posted this 7 years ago and thought of bringing it back in the light of Erap’s recent campaign bid for Mayor of Manila.

Enjoy!

April 12, 2006: With the start of Joseph Estrada’s plunder trial , the Erap jokes are back again in circulation:

Jinggoy: dad, kita madadalaw ngayon. May urine test ako bukas. ( Dad, I can’t visit you today. I have a urine test tomorrow)
Erap: Okay lang anak, aral kang mabuti ha. (that’s okay, son. Just study well.)

Erap might have been accused of many things but he left behind a legacy, “the Erap jokes”. My son adored Erap simply because of his famous Erap jokes. He found them funny and wanted to know more Erap jokes. We even bought the Erap joke book. Here is one of Luijoe’s favorite Erap jokes.

Erap buys a ballpen:

Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpens
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?

Luijoe loved to tell this joke to everyone . One time, Luijoe and I passed by Penshoppe ( a teen fashion store) in Glorietta mall and I teased him if he wanted to go inside with me , so I could ask the same question Erap asked.

Luijoe was shocked at my suggestion…”NO, MOM!” He pulled me away towards the play area.

Hehe. My son must have thought I was crazier than Erap.

———–
More Erap Jokes:

Jinggoy: Dad, manganganak na po misis ko. (Dad my wife is about to give birth)
Erap: Dali tumawag ka ng ambulansya at dalhin natin sa Jollibee (Hurry, call for an ambulance and bring her to Jollibee)
Jingoy: dad bakit po sa Jollibbe (dad, why at Jollibee?)
Erap: May free delivery doon (There is free delivery over there)

—-

US Doctor: Mr. President, you have a brain tumor.
Erap: hahahahaha
US Doctor: Why are you laughing?
Erap: I’m laughing because in the Philippines I have no brain but here, I have 2 more!

—-

Erap gets really mad when he sees the next sign :”JFK LEFT”. “See?” he scolds his driver. “We’re so late even the airport left already”.

Ambivalent towards Erap

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I feel ambivalent towards Erap.

I neither like nor dislike him. My feelings has something to do with the memories of my little boy. My 6 year old son adored Erap. Luijoe thought the world of the former president. Luijoe yelled at the top of his voice that Erap was the smartest president in the whole world, in a jumpacked room at a plane ticket office ten summers ago.

In his booming voice, he threw his hands up in the air , twirling around the room, “Mom, President Erap is so smart, the smartest president in the whole wide world”.

awkward silence

Nobody in that room could deny not hearing my son’s adulation. It was May 2000 at the height of Erap’s unpopularity. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow both of us. I could feel the steely gaze and snickers surrounding us. My boy never sensed the awkwardness of the situation but I wanted to save face.

“So , why is Erap the smartest president in the whole wide world?”, as I squeaked the question to my naughty son.

“Mom, his jokes mom. He says the funniest jokes. That is very smart of him” (or something like that)

See my son had a great sense of humor and loved to throw a joke or two. Then he discovered the Erap jokes during one of our conversations. Luijoe overheard us laughing to our heart’s content on an Erap joke. He wanted to know why were laughing. He badgered to know the joke. So I narrated the joke

Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpen
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?

royal_elastics 043.jpgHow my boy laughed! Luijoe loved to tell this joke to everyone . One time, Luijoe and I passed by Penshoppe ( a teen fashion store) in Glorietta mall and I teased him if he wanted to go inside with me , so I could ask the same question Erap asked. Luijoe tugged me away. hehe

I bought him the book , “Joke ni Erap” by the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism in early 2000. Luijoe often packed this Erap Joke book in his backpack and kept re-reading those jokes that he could understand. He loved the book so much, he even labelled it with his name. Here are a few of his favorite jokes culled from that book.
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