“The friendship that can cease has never been real.”– Saint Jerome

You would think 50-year olds act maturely in the face of adversity. I am sure most of us can. A recent misunderstanding among old friends (including myself) jolted me. We are talking of years of friendship. It started with a gossip. If there is gossip among friends, clear the air instead of being defensive and ignoring the issue. What’s funny is that they chose to place the scapegoat on the ““informant” which is immaterial because the issue is the malicious gossip. A mere explanation or an apology would have cleared the issue.

The reaction was “anger” . Feelings of anger is normal if it leads to a positive resolution. Instead of talking like two mature individuals, the angry friend including others involved in the gossip removed my friend (let’s call her Alpha) from Facebook including myself. Friends are supposed to exert all efforts to resolve matters, if they were friends to start with.

Consider my other friend, whom I will call Yadda. A similar misunderstanding happened. Sure there were hurt feelings on both sides but Yadda chose to talk it over and over like a broken record until we were both satisfied with the resolution. The friendship is still there.

See the difference?

You cannot say you’ve lost a friend. If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed.

If there is one painful lesson I learned from all this, it is that friends that date back to my teen years can walk away from you even if you shared wonderful moments. When these friends walked away from me, I let them be. The avenues to talk about the gossip was open. I don’t need to talk to these friends into staying with me.

When friends can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. We lose old friends but gain new ones in the process.

My friend, Alpha shared me an email for “Words to Live by” about Letting Go, which seemed so applicable to the recent issues. I am sure you can relate to it.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something.. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to……


If you are holding on to past hurts and pains …….


If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth……


If someone has angered you.


If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…..


If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction… ..


If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents


If you have a bad attitude…. …


If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……


If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him………


If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ….


If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves.. ….


Letting go does not mean giving up but accepting that there are things that cannot be.

Just like this popular quote “If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don’t, their love was never yours to begin with…” is also applied to friendships. If it was meant to be, it will come.

About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

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