Death of Ted Failon’s Wife: Suicide?

      24 Comments on Death of Ted Failon’s Wife: Suicide?

(Update May 21- Trina Etong committed suicide–NBI )

It was just a matter of time yet the news of Ted Failon’s Wife death came as a shock. Trinidad Arteche Etong or Trina , died tonight at 8:50 PM. She died of cranial injury but was it due to homicide or suicide? Her daughter thinks that her mom tried to commit suicide. To lose a loved one to death is painful, to lose a loved one to suicide is also disorienting.

If it is suicide, it is a particularly cruel form of death for the surviving family and friends. Questions like : How could she have been so full of despair that she felt that death was preferable to life? Additionally, the family has to cope with the police, an inquest, and possibly the media, as well as the ever-present and unanswerable question ““Why?”. Suicide is a complicated loss.

I overheard on Radyo Patrol shortly before 8:00PM the screams of Me-ann and Pamela Arteche, Trina’s sisters as they were brought to the Inquest at the Quezon City Hall of Justice. Was that harsh treatment really necessary? Couldn’t they have waited the next day? They wanted to be with their sister, don’t you know that? It was a total riot as I listened to the screams and yelling in the background as the reporter related how the sisters were dragged to the van. The worst part is they weren’t around when their sister died in the hospital.

Mean Arteche went hysterical when informed of her sister’s death by telephone, saying she could not forgive police for taking them from her sister’s deathbed.

The family is in a very stressful situation, Mr. Policemen so let me explain what grief is like.

If the family believes the death was due to suicide, the family members must unravel in their own way. The common threads are the feelings: numbness, shock, disbelief, and then the questions. And all this is before the pain of grief and loss truly begins. Right now they may feel devastated and shattered. Please be more compassionate, Police and Media. Maybe, you overlooked this because you just want to do your job as quickly as possible. Just a little compassion and understanding.

I cannot even imagine the grief they must be feeling now complicated with the media and police circus. I hope the latter will gain a deep understanding of the family’s grief even if the cause is not too clear yet as of this posting.

Every death leaves a huge gap; there has been an amputation, someone is missing and can never be replaced. This is true even for deaths by homicide. Suicide on the other hand, brings added complications to the bereaved family. Although the days when suicide was regarded as a criminal or sinful act are thankfully in the past, some families do discover how hard it can be to talk openly about suicide, how uncomfortable even close friends can feel about the tragedy, and how this can lead to isolation. There can also be differences, as well as togetherness, even within the immediate family, in the way each person views the past as well as in their interpretation of the death.

In the days to come, there might be inconsistencies with Ted Failon’s and other suspect’s statements but it is just normal to miss out details when questioned under severe stress. Traumatic situation like this does weird things to the brain. It literally shuts down the part of the brain, which is responsible for problem solving, planning, judgment and making sense of emotional experience. (Read Traumatic Loss and the Brain).

Let’s give them the space and time to grieve.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1354 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

  • those people are not compassionate because they have not experienced this kind of tragedy before. Tama yung texter kanina sa news, sana di sila makarma. Hmp. I feel really sad for Ted Failon and his family and his wife’s family. May God heal them.

    lisaflors last blog post..Join the Power Summer Taekwondo under Champions for Christ

    • I know they are just doing their job but then there should be more restraint. more compassion as they are grieving

  • Anne

    Kitang-kita naman sa video kung paano binaviolate ng mga pulis ang mga batas na dapat sila ang nagpapatupad. Hindi naman makatarungan yung ginagawa nilang paghila at pagkaladkad sa mga tao. Tapos magkaiba pa sila ng point, yung isa claims na iniinvite lang for questioning, yung isa naman snasabing inaresto na. Wala pa naman kasong sinasampa. Everyone is innocent unless proven guilty diba… At may sinasabi pa silang ititreat daw nila ang pangyayaring ito just like other cases, if so, then how come sobrang higpit nila, to the extent na kukunin pa nila yung kapatid ni Trina sa ospital for Obstruction of Justice…

    Sana naman intindihin nila yung pinagdadaanan ng family ni Ted, andyan yung fact na gusto nating malaman yung totoo, pero di naman tama na wala pang investigation ay ipopoint nyo na kapatid ni Trina ang bumaril sa kanya…. Hindi rin tama na nakaposas na ang isang tao eh bibitbitin pa ng 4 o 5 katao, di naman cguro sya si Incredible Hulk para makaya pang manlaban sa 2 tao diba…ni hindi rin binasahan ng Miranda rights yung mga kasambahay nila.

    Any person under investigation for the commission of an offense shall have the right to be informed of his right to remain silent and to have competent and independent counsel preferably of his own choice. If the person cannot afford the services of counsel, he must be provided with one. These rights cannot be waived except in writing and in the presence of counsel.

    The police do not have to tell you the crime for which they are arresting you, though they probably will. They are not permitted to use excessive force or brutality when arresting you. If you resist arrest or act violently, however, the police are allowed to use reasonable force to make the arrest or keep you from injuring yourself.

    While the police are arresting you, they might read you your Miranda rights. However, they do not have to read you these rights if they do not intend to interrogate you.

    This only means na since hindi sila binasahan ng Miranda rights during their so-called “arrest” walang karapatan ang mga pulis na iinterrogate sila…

    Paano pa kaya maniniwala ang mga tao sa justice system ng Pilipinas kung mismong mga nagpapatupad nito ang unang nag baviolate…

    • I was very disturbed when I heard the shouts and the commotion over Radyo Patrol. Trina’s relatives are not in their proper frame of mind because of their grief. They should have been coursed through their lawyers, whom they trust.

  • Love

    Nakapagtataka kung bakit yung salitang po sa sulat ay pa raw. Paano niya nalaman na hindi iyon po kundi pa? Kung ilalagay yung salitang pa sa sulat ay hindi magbabagay sa mga pangungusap. Yung daughter naman ay parang kasabwat pa sa crime na parang alam lahat ng pangyayari. Sabi niya lang yun. Gustong linisin ang crime ng nakapatay marami pang kasabwat.

    • Sabi nila they use “po” a lot of times. I don’t know why Ted said “pa” baka he got confused with the questioning.

      we don’t know if there really was a crime. The investigation is in progress.

  • the planner

    If you are grieving and questioned with questions such as that simple “po” and then misunderstood and quoted what do you think? Mabe he can’t think straight under circumstances as the death of a love one, stress by lack of sleep etc. Try putting yourself po in his shoes.

    • We need to give them time to grieve well .

  • Well, both the police and the media seem to be having a great time getting coverage/exposure it’s becoming a frenzied suicide story with confusing twists unfolding per episode.

    Carl Lozanos last blog post..‘Tis the season for circumcision

    • Sometimes I feel the police wants to have a certain version out or they are just naturally suspicious.

  • the planner

    They’re making the whole thing like a circus. I pity the family, yes Noemi is right…let us give them time to grieve.

  • Jacksterwart

    BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!!!! If you cant prove the case…dismiss!

    Was there any warrant for the arrest of the sisters? You cannot force anyone to be questioned unless there is a warrant. If not then fire those cops!

  • They can arrest with probable cause regardless grieving. But the evidences are just not there. Aside, our police are callously insensitive except Cebuano policemen, of course.

    Policemen should have their head checked for iQ, EQ and other battery of psychological test including kleptomania. That goes to our elected public officials, too

    • You are absolutely right, Renato. I wonder if they are screened for both EQ and IQ and how to deal with suspects in grief. I know that grief does not exempt Ted & others from inquest but they should be a bit more compassionate.

  • RR

    The tooth will come out.

  • Pro

    Bakit yung pulis na si Mabanag hinde na suspend, eh kitang kitang may tinulak sya.. hahahha katawa tawang pulis…tanga.

  • The public has seen how these @#&%@ policemen abused their authority. How inhumane and insensitive. Shame! 😐

    Joanna Macris Armendezs last blog post..Why does it always rain on me?

  • catherine

    Curious lang ako bakit kaya pinayagan ni Ted na may camera pa ng ABS sa loob ng ICU unit nung wife nya. Ang sikip-sikip na nung room may kasama pang camera at camera man at mukhang 2 pa dahil nakikita yun cameraman at camera tapos may kumukuha pang iba. Dapat pati yung mga doctor hindi pumayag ng ganun. Akala ko ba ICU yun.

    • I find it strange too, but then ABS CBN is very supportive of him so maybe he wants to give them a scoop

  • Pingback: Current » A blunder worse than a crime()

  • Gene

    I guess its a known fact na dapat mag pa image ceck ang PNP kasi marami silang kapalpakan sa mga kasong hinahawakan, including this one of Ted Failon. But, but but, also in this case I want to give the benefit of the doubt on both Ted and the police.

    As I stated many times, lahat tayo puede magkumento o magbigay ng opinion o haka haka na walang hawak na solid evidence o tamang information. All we can do is we base our opinion on the information given to us by the media. ANG PROBLEMA, kung MALI ang information o MANIPULATED ang information ay MALI din ang magiging opinion natin.

    Fortunately, we have the luxury na magbigay ng opinion na kahit mali na hindi makukulong o makakasuhan. But the police and the investigators DON”T have the luxury of that mistake. HINDI PUEDE SA SABIHIN NG PULIS NA TED IS INNOCENT BECAUSE ABS CBN SAYS SO OR GMA7SAYS SO. Thats the challenge ng police so I understand kung bakit ganyan ang asta ng police. Yes, it was harsh BUT I SAY TO YOU, kung hindi si Ted Failon ang sangkot dito at nilinis din nila ng crime scene, SIGURADO SASABIHIN NATIN DAPAT LANG NA HULIIN SILA KASI BAKA MAY MILAGRONG NANGYAYARI DITO. See the logic of the argument? So be careful mga kabloggers. Maswerte tayo na puede tayo mag kumento na hindi iniisip na kung tama ba yung information na nakukha natin.

    Ako personally, naniniwala na inosente naman si Failon BUT only kung TAMA ang information na nakukuha ko sa TV. Ang problrma lang talaga ay BAKIT nilinis yung crime scene?

    So my advice to all of us. Be vigilant, especially when it comes to gathering information from the media.

  • jogar

    Kasi nga obtruction of justice kaya aarestuhin si Pamela. Ang totoo nyan ay ayaw magpaaresto at ayaw sumama ni Pamela sa mga pulis. Ilagay nyo sarili nyo kayo ang pulis, kung ayaw sumama ng aarestuhin nyo anong gagawin nyo? siempre idadaan nyo sa santong paspasan para madala sa presinto. Sa tingin nyo ba kung hindi hinawakan si Pamela nadala ba sia sa presento. Authority kasi ang pulis kaya hindi tinatanggihan, kung sa US police yan taser aabutin nya for resisting arrest. normal police procedure lang ho yan. Wala naman akong nakikitang inaaresto na parang magkapatid lang na naglalakad at nakangisi pa. Ang hindi lang ako sangayon yong timing ng pagaaresto, kasi nga naman nasa ospital yong pasyente at binabantayan nila pwede naman kasing ipagpabukas yon e. siguro yon ang imbestigahan ng senado yong timing.

    At saka wala tayong pakialam sa pulis at mga arestuhan, ginawa lang yon para maresolve case ni TF. Ito lang napansin ko, ngaun lang ako nakarinig na nagpakamatay na tao na di alam ng mga naiwan kung ano ang problema. Sabi ni TF financial problem, e ano yon? Bakit di nya alam problema? Magpapakamatay ka na din lang e di sabihin mo na lahat ng hinanakit ng loob mo hindi tinatago. Sa tingin ko kung naging specific man lang si TF malamang kapanipaniwala pa sia (example na sagot yong plan nya sa legacy di na nya rerecover h ehe). At saka kung magpapakamatay bat pa sia tumawag kay TF at nagawa pang umuwi ni TF kahit na di pa tapos duty nya? He he e di nonse na suicide yan. ayon sa nabasa ko 99% ng nagpapakamatay ay sinisikreto lang.

  • erl

    we have heard many cases like this of Failon before…What i want to ask from God now is to help the people concern to find the “unsearchable JUSTICE”. Since time immemorial justice is nowhere to be found! Ayyy, sori…It can be found in the hands of people in power, with money and goons…This is always the case and rare that marginalized rejoice because the have found “JUSTICE”.. YOU!-the culprit…I tell you and maybe assure you that from now on SATAN is REJOICING AND HE IS PRAISING YOU FOR YOUR OUTSTANDING AND EXEMPLARY PERFORMANCE AND BECAUSE HE HAS ADDED ANOTHER SOLDIER IN HIS PLATOON!…NOW, EVERYONE IN HELL IS VERY EXCITED TO HAVE YOU..So tell the truth now and ask forgiveness because its not too late yet for you to regain your soul!!!