Develop a Thick Skin and Stay Focused on Blog Goals

I am into blogging for many reasons like all bloggers have their own reasons. I am in it for the long haul. Yes, I can be opinionated but it’s all part of being a blogger. I make a stand whether it is popular or not. My entries may have hurt a few bloggers and readers. I apologize (when given the opportunity) when feelings are hurt but it doesn’t mean I don’t stand by my entries.

I don’t even claim to be a good person. I am a mainstream blogger trying to make herself a better blogger and person and I fail sometimes. I am not afraid of failure. Pain is a wonderful teacher. I don’t pretend to be nice either especially when I summon my bitch powers to get what I want. I am firm when I know I am right. I admit when I am wrong. I can be civil even at the heat of an argument but I will never act like a palengkera (loudmouth) about it. It doesn’t mean I have not learned from my mistakes. Recovery from unhealthy behavioral pattern is a work in progress and I am not making excuses about it.

Reading Darren Rowse’ Psychology of Blogging affirmed my belief that bloggers should not just know the technical side of blogging. One must be able to stay on track, stay committed and hopefully stay sane. Reality is, not everyone will like you. The more high profile you are, the more the criticisms. The more successful you are, the more some people will want to see you fail. One of his tips is Develop a thick skin which I am quoting here . The bold highlight is mine.

Benjamin Franklin once said, ““In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.” Unfortunately Benny didn’t have a blog, because if he had the quote would have been ““”In this world nothing is certain but death, taxes and if your blog becomes popular people will get jealous and want to see you fail.”

It doesn’t matter how brilliant your blog is, how much you pour your heart and soul into it, how genuine you are and what the quality of the writing is like, some people will still want to see you knocked down a peg or two. In fact, the more successful you are, the more some people will want to see you fail. Twas ever thus I’m afraid.

You’ll probably receive abusive e-mails from time to time as well as commenters who want to make you look foolish and/or criticize you. That’s just life as an ‘A’ list blogger. You need to either deal with it or prepare yourself for the day when you’re asked to put on the jacket with the very long sleeves.

Understand your readers do not know you. Some will think they do and may even start to perceive you as a friend. This is cool as long as they don’t start hanging around outside your house and sending you rabbit paws through the mail, but they still don’t know you. Therefore, any criticism that is aimed at you reveals nothing about you. It says plenty about the person that administers it, but that’s about as far as it goes.

You should deal with criticism the same way as you should deal with compliments: with a pinch of salt. Of course we all prefer to receive compliments, but they’re two sides of the same coin. If you take the good stuff too seriously, you’ll not be able to deal with the bad stuff when it arrives.

Whatever somebody says, simply thank them for their feedback. Then decide whether that feedback is useful and can help you move forward. If it can, great, use it. If it can’t, drop it because you don’t need it.

Not that I am claiming to be a successful blogger. I might have failed in some aspects that make a successful blog yet there is one thing that I have achieved in my own little way in cyberspace. I stay focused on my blogging goals and I will never go wrong there.

My blog has been a vehicle to an advocacy that saves lives and offer comfort. It will continue to do so.

I have rewritten my blog’s objectives to reflect the current changes in my life.

I blog for two reasons:

1. Share my grief journey and recovery principles. Many wonderful things have been happening to me. Sharing the changes in my new normal after the death of a child is one way of reaching out to others. I offer hope that life can still continue on despite the pain and that pain is a wonderful teacher.

2. I blog as a platform for advocacy. My blog’s focus is on assisting and participating in advocacy groups that may reap the benefits of blogging. My efforts will not be in vain because these groups will be able to complement their grassroots efforts in advocating social change.

“Touched by An Angel” advocacy has five main goals that are close to my heart:

2.1 Promote The Compassionate Friends [tag]Philippines[/tag] and reach out to bereaved family members who have lost a child. (read more?). Through my experiences , this blog will hopefully educate family systems that grief is not a taboo subject. Grief is not limited to persons who have lost through the death of a loved one. My recovery blog also seeks to reach out to all those who are grieving from these losses , that there is hope. Pain is our greatest teacher. Regardless of where the pain comes from, there are always lessons to be learned.

2.2 Promote the Filipina of the Future who deserves a more empowered, diverse image online. Multiple, complex, and whole. As co-founder of Filipina Images, I proudly refer to myself as a Filipina Mom Blogger. I am proudly Filipina.

More than comforting those who have lost a child and women empowerment, I also want to save lives and reduce child mortality. The last 3 goals aims to ensure public health and child survival.

2.3 Suicide Prevention is everybody’s business. Educate our community that suicide is a preventable public health problem in the Philippines. Suicide should no longer be considered a taboo topic, and that through raising awareness and educating the public, we can SAVE lives

2.4. Promote Breastfeeding. I want to be part in saving the lives of 16,000 Filipino every year and 1.5 million babies dying every year throughout the world, because they were not breastfed.

2.5.Participate in Child Survival and parenting activities. More than the sheer number of children’s lives wasted, the one thing more alarming is the fact that they could have actually been prevented. I want to be part of UNICEF’s 4th Millennium Development Goal (MDG4) which has the objective of decreasing mortality among infants and children below 5 years of age by 2015.

I will be able to achieve all of these goals and achieve social impact by writing about it in my blog and participating in events and activities relevant to the advocacy.

Readers will come and go because that’s how the world works. My blog is not my life. It is just one of the vehicles I use to make life a better place for me and others.

Do you have blog goals?