Grief Over Marky Cielo & Lea ALyanna De Vera’s Death

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Even if I have lost a son, I still cannot imagine what it is like for Marky Cielo’s parents. I cannot imagine the horror of Lilian de Vera, the mom of Lea Alyanna, the 7 year old girl caught in a crossfire, found dead on dimly lit Sampaguita Street along with 10 other people, including eight of the suspected robbers, and her husband.

I can only imagine Lilian’s devastation as she cried out…

““Why do you have to kill my little angel? Why do you have to kill my husband? He’s a good man. We’ve done nothing wrong to you.”

The real cause of Marky Cielo’s death is hazy at this point. His family said he died while he was sleeping. But the Antipolo Doctor’s Hospital cited the reason as “confidential.” Some showbiz insiders speculate that it was suicide. Others go as far as saying, “It was prompted by love.” Just like that, a life is gone. So young, so soon. Their deaths were so sudden, just like my son’s death.

One of the things so astonishing about losing a loved one is that, while the sun continues to rise and set, newspapers continue to be delivered, traffic lights change from red to green and back again, our whole life is turned around, turned upside down. That devastating feeling, I know for sure.

I can only hold their hands.

To those parents who have lost a child,

Come, let me take your hand. For where you must, I, too, have walked. The road that we must walk is not one that we would choose to walk; it is a difficult road, full of many obstacles.

Yes, we are still mothers or fathers. We love and remember our sons or daughters who have died. Their death has left us with a hole in our heart, an ache in or stomach, a pain in our chest, and eyes that cannot see as they are filled with tears.

We must grieve because we dared to love, and it is through grief that we will recover. We may never have the life that we once had, but we can build another life. Our heart will heal, our pain will lessen, and we will be able to talk about our son or daughter without the tears. There will come the day when we dare to laugh again.

Hours as free as a butterfly’s flight.
Memories as warm as the sunshine is bright.
Hopes as high as the blue sky above –
That’s what this wishes you always,
With love.

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Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1391 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.