A mother who lost a child often cries out over insensitive remarks. I have heard it countless of times. Consider this conversation from a mother who thought a well-meaning friend was insensitive.

Don’t they know? Of course these wonderful, concerned, well-meaning friends don’t know. They can only guess how I feel. They haven’t personally known (thank God) the disbelief, the shock, the anger, the depression that has filled my heart and soul since my child died. They don’t know that the words I need to hear are, ““I know you must be hurting terribly. You had such a good life together, the pain must be awful. You need to express your anger, your frustration. I know it must be hard for you to believe that God is a loving God who will support you through this horrible tragedy.” They can’t know words aren’t necessary, that just being there, holding my hand, crying with me, or listening to me would be much more comforting than words they feel they must say.

I don’t think they are insensitive. They just don’t know how to comfort or are uncomfortable in facing a person who lost a loved one.

Even one can experience grief in the loss of a presidential candidate in an election.

One often suffers temporary emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to us. Here, losing a dream where we looked up to potential leaders of our country who hold our future and the future  of our children. The pain is a normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss—the defeat of a candidate in the elections. The winning of certain candidates even made the pain worse in the senatorial slate, which is mostly political dynasties or familiar names.

The defeat of your candidate hurts. This is a loss of a dream you nurtured in your mind for the love of country. It is okay to cry. There is a normal reaction to loss. It is not a sign of weakness. I needed to tell myself that: feel, acknowledge, and express my emotions with an attitude of acceptance and compassion. The time will come when you can handle it with a sense of loving acceptance.How do you fare when you come across a bereaved? What do you say? You don’t say “Life should go on”. The grief journey is a process and when a loss or death is just so recent, mourning and moving on is not possible.

Do not ask them to deny their tears. Allow them to wash their inner wounds and speed the healing of their heart. In time, life goes on.

Grief is cyclical, much the same way the seasons change. Saying “life should go on” when grief is so fresh is like diminishing the grief of these victims.

Not everyone will follow the same journey. Some move on to their new life (without their loved one) ahead than others. The bereaved, in their own individual ways, gradually get better at bearing their loss. Mainly, the pain simply softens with the passage of time.

Moving on means that we live a new normal, never forgetting the love and memories of our beloved. Moving on says nothing about forgetting our loved one, not missing them or not wishing they were still with us, many years after the death. It says we will think and feel differently about having lost him or her.

Here are other words that are not comforting to those who have lost a loved one:

“It’s a good way to die.”
Don’t they know there is no good way for a child to die? Can’t they understand there’s nothing good about his being snatched away from our life?

“Remember, everything is God’s will.”
Don’t they know I can’t understand how God could cause me such despair? Don’t they understand that I can’t accept this as God’s will?

“All things work together for good for those who love God.”
Don’t they know I’m not sure I can love a God who robbed me of my child? Can’t they understand I’m very angry at God, who treated me so unfairly?

“Your child is better off. He’s gone to Heaven, where he will have eternal peace.”
Don’t they know I can’t be relieved to know Hess in Heaven when I ache so to have him back? Can’t they understand that his death is an injustice, not a godsend?

“Count your blessings.”
Don’t they know that in this state of mind I can’t in my wildest dreams consider all this pain, this anger, this emptiness, this frustration a blessing?

“If you look around you, you’ll find someone worse off than you are.”
Don’t they know right now I can’t imagine anyone worse off than I am?

“Think of all your precious memories.”
Don’t they know how much it hurts to live with nothing more than memories? Can’t they understand that because our love was so great, the pain is more intense?

“Keep your chin up.”
Don’t they know how hard it is to do that when I really want to cry, to wail, and to scream at the injustice that has been dealt me?

“You must put it all behind you and get on with your life.”
Don’t they know we don’t hurt by choice when our children die? I haven’t met a bereaved parent yet who wasn’t really weary of hurting.

“Time will heal.”
Don’t they know how time is dragging for me now, that every minute seems like an hour and every hour like a day? Can’t they understand how frightening it is to face the rest of my life without my child?

“If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”
Don’t they know they shouldn’t wait for me to ““let them know?” Can’t they understand that my mind is so numb I can’t even think of what needs to be done?

I have a confession to make. In 2016, Ayoko Kay leni Robredo because Dilawan siya. But I got to interview her with my fellow bloggers for almost 2 hours . In our interview she said she had plans for anti poverty program.

At ginawa talaga niya. Angat Buhay started in October 2016. Mas lalo ako bilib sa kanya.

Angat Buhay is her anti poverty program under the Office of the Vice President.

As of December 2021, the OVP, through Angat Buhay, has partnered with 372 organizations mobilizing a total of P520 million worth of resources to assist 321,001 families and 305,223 individuals in 223 communities nationwide.

Some of the projects under the program are the Angat Buhay villages in Bicol and Marawi, medical assistance, and the construction of health centers and classrooms, among others. Imagine if she is president. She will make ANGAT Buhay lahat even bigger.

Two out of many reasons “Why Leni”. If president , she will push for a bill for a P100 billion stimulus package for MSMEs to help rebuild our economy while also making sure people don’t lose their jobs. Meron din balak ng Unemployment Insurance Program where you will get 80% of 3 months worth of their previous salary . This is what I will campaign when asked about her concrete plans.

Marami nag sabi wala siyang ginawa. I only knew of her achievements last year. Hindi siya epal. Her weakness and strength is she didn’t want to publicize her achievements. At that time, she had no intentions to run for President. She just kept on working.

These are her achievements

1. P503 Million COVID-19 Response.
2. P58.84 Million Testing Kits.
3. P64.70 Million PPES.
4. P43.98 Million Dormitories for Frontliners.
5. P35.60 Million Disaster Relief Operations.
6. P20.43 Million Gadgets for students.
7. P17.28 Million locally funded projects.
8. P14 Million Hot meals for Health workers.
9. P2.5 Million support towards employees exposed to COVID-10.
10. P1.4 Million Hazard Pay for regular employees.
11. P817,000 Hazard Pay for the contract of service employees.
12. P249,500 Hazard Pay for contractual employees.
13. 23,345 Frontliners served through Vaccine Express, Cab Swab, Free Shuttle.
14. Community Mart sa Quezon City at Pasig para sa mga small-time market vendors
at tricycle drivers na naapektuhan ng pandemya.
15. Vaccine Express initiative that inoculated 500 Aetas in Barangay Sta. Juliana.
16. Leni backed the passage into law of the Unemployment Insurance Bill that will create an unemployment insurance system to protect Filipinos who have lost their jobs due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

17. P12.3 Billion total value of given help to families.
18. P42.17 Million worth of help given to communities.
19. P12.80 Million contribution towards transitory shelters and shelter kits for Marawi
20. P207,244 or 1,022 individuals given relief ops.
21. P23.86 Million from the VP fund was shelled out for the victims of the Taal
Volcano, Typhoon Quinta, Super Typhoon Rolly, and Typhoon Ulysses.
22. P8.841 Million donations were collected for the Taal eruption.
23. P2.360 Million donations were collected for Typhoons.
24. 12,489 families’ homes were repaired due to disaster-related damages.
25. 92,600 Light Bulbs given to homes in Metro Manila.
26. 3,776+ Households have been given electricity through the OVP’s Angat Buhay.
27. Assistance to at least 11 towns in Batangas, 1 in Cavite after the volcanic eruption, reaching at least 22.047 families in the two provinces.
28. 87 municipalities across 11 provinces were given aid that reached at least 56,148 families after the typhoons.
29. The OVP turned over pet supplies donated by different organizations to the
Philippine Animal Rescue Team. This is to help in taking care of around 600 animals.
30. Leni has proposed the construction of stronger evacuation centers that not only
will withstand natural calamities but will also accommodate pets and livestock.
31. Leni wants to strengthen the rescue capabilities of barangay officials.
32. In 2020, Leni together with the OVP’s partner-agencies provided boats for Aurora fisherfolk affected by typhoons.
33. After the Typhoon Ulysses calamity, Leni says that climate change should be taken seriously.
34. Leni recognizes that there is a “global climate emergency,” and values conversations on the issue. She supports instructional changes towards fossil fuel

35. Leni was a practicing lawyer who focused on cases involving the marginalized sector.
36. P441.14 Million worth of resources mobilized through the OVP’s Angat Buhay with 330 partnered organizations.
37.341,779 families helped or 221,122 individuals in 381 communities nationwide
through the OVP’s Angat Buhay.
38. P8.93 Million worth of projects, farm inputs, livestock, development and training
wherein 127 individuals and 18 accredited Civil Society Organizations were assisted.

39. P122.96 Million worth of Educational infrastructure built.
40. P8.27 Million worth of School kits.
41. P4.49 Million worth of Scholarships and technical training.
42. P19.75 Million appraised value of gadgets and items raised via Kaya Natin donation drive for Bayanihan E-skwela, Community learning hubs, instructional videos for
teachers and parents.
43. Leni wants SPED centers in all public schools.
44. Noong siya ay Housing Chief, she pushed to build communities that are friendly to persons with disabilities.
45. The OVP partnered with USAID and PBEd to provide free technical-vocational skills and employability training for over 1,000 unemployed and out-of-school Filipino youth.

46. Principal Author of HB 19 or the Full Disclosure Bill.
47. Principal Author of HB 3905 or the Participatory Budget Process Bill.
48. Principal Author of HB 4911 or the People Empowerment Bill.
49. Co-author of HB 3432 or the Comprehensive Anti-Discrimination Bill.
50. Co-author of HB 3587 or the Anti-Political Dynasty Bill.