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Our Love Story: 43 years with my college sweetheart

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me and my ex bf

I wrote this 13 years ago, but I thought I’d update it again because today is our couple anniversary. I like to look back at the good old days and dream about the future together. Here is our story:

I gaze at my two lovely daughters and smile. I realize they are much older than us.. when we, their parents, were just college sweethearts. My two daughters wailed and wondered when they will meet The One. Will they be as blessed as their parents who found their true love from each other? I have no ready answers. Love just happens when you least expect it. Who would have thought Butch and I would end up together for better and for worse? He became my boyfriend for the most shallow reasons, which was “I wanted a cute boyfriend”

Butch and I met through my college roommate at the University of the Philippines Shopping Center ‘ restaurant. It was not love at first sight for me. I think Butch was stricken by Cupid’s arrow that fateful night. To my great annoyance, he kept staring at me “You have beautiful eyes” all night long. He never let go of me since then. Though Butch was utterly charming and really cute, I wasn’t interested. First, he looked really wild as in “jeprox” (the slang word for punk during those days). Second, “mestizos” are not my type. Third, he was two years younger than me. I knew he was 18 years old, yet he lied that he was 20 years old.

butch78c.jpgHe was very persistent. Riding on his yellow motorcycle, he’d zoom past the dorm as if “by accident” and pretend to be surprised to see me. I liked the attention but felt he was too dangerous. But see, Butch had a way with words (think “bolero”) which would make any girl giggle. Fear engulfed me when I began to fall in love with him. His wild and dangerous looks were just too tempting. What was it with “bad boy image” that attracted me to him? For years, I poured over my books just to get excellent grades, but for what? College is supposed to be fun. I wanted to have fun. My motto that semester: be adventurous and grab a cute boyfriend. After all, graduation loomed the following semester. I decided I wanted to have a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend. He had to be a cute.

My greatest fear though was he’d seduce me. Butch looked really reckless and seductive. Heck. I threw caution to the wind and “went along with him” the night he announced to the world that I was his girlfriend.

I thought, “I am his girlfriend? How did that happen?”

Whispering sweet nothings to my ear, “I will marry you one day. I will be a lawyer. You just see.”

I was laughing inside and mused I would never marry this guy. He’s a bum. I won’t have a future with him. He is my boyfriend because I just want to have fun. I hate my boring student life.

True enough, the following month, I found out he didn’t meet the university requirements of passing 21 units, 60% passing of all subjects and to have a passing grade in at least 4 units. He scored a grand slam. The verdict was expulsion from the state university. I knew there was hope, so I dragged him to the college secretary for a reconsideration.

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“No, I don’t have hope. I will move to San Beda then take up Law after college” he moaned.

“You are going to graduate AB Political Science from UP and proceed to the College of Law”, I convinced him to appeal.

Thanks to Dean Martin Gregorio, Butch was granted a reconsideration. Since we became steadies, he passed all his subjects and eventually studied Law.

butch78d.jpgDespite Butch wild streak, he never took advantage of me. Haha. I should give him credit for being a gentleman in that aspect. In fact, we enjoyed a clean and responsible relationship. Friends doubted that we practiced abstinence. True, Butch would suddenly wrap me in his arms and plant a kiss on my lips right in front of my horrified friends, but that was it. We were a romantic couple for 7 years. Locking our hands together, we sat by the sunken garden and watched the sunset as we wove dreams of being together forever and having babies one day. Amidst the Beegees “How Deep is Your Love”, time stood still for love struck us. Well, mostly his dreams. I wasn’t too sure if he would be a suitable husband.

Two years later…

Holding pizza and a dozen red roses , Butch took me by surprise as he knelt down and proposed marriage. How roooomaaaantic, I gushed .

My brain woke me up from fantasy land.

I said “God, No. You’re only 20. You don’t have a job. You haven’t graduated from college”

We married 7 years after we first met in college.

Our love story is quite long , romantic and crazy so I am not boring you to tears . But see, our love spans 42 years. We have two anniversary dates: March 7 when we first became college sweethearts and May 5 for our wedding day. And of course, celebrating the day we met on January 26, 1978. That sums up 38 years together as a couple who are still so madly in love with each other. You know it is true love when you have gone through the worse moments in marriage and yet managed to survive and make the love even stronger than it ever was.

It wasn’t all roses, sweet nothings, and icing on a cake type of relationship.

We nearly separated 16. years ago. Grief had overtaken us so much. Our marriage suffered during the first few years after my son died. My husband and I had different ways of coping with our grief. He wanted to talk about Luijoe’s death. I preferred to keep quiet and be by myself. This created a distance between us. Sometime in 2005, I packed my bags and muttered goodbye to a tearful Butch. I couldn’t stand him anymore. I wanted a new life without him. I made sure the girls were settled in their dormitories for me to make this great escape.

Alas, God destined me to stick it out with Butch.

fractureAs I moved in to my new pad, I lost my footing on the steps and fell to the ground. Were those firecrackers I heard? Oh dear, that awful popping sound came from my ankles. Holding on to the lifeless ankle, my ex-landlord helped me into a cab and brought myself to Medical City emergency room. Fuelled with pride, I refused to contact Butch but asked L to bring me clothes for my confinement. I suffered a fracture which required insertion of metal rods onto my right tibia and ankle bone. Butch got hold of my accident and drove to Medical City. He insisted on taking care of me.

I had no choice but to live with him and work things out. Truly God works in mysterious ways. It was as if God said, ” you can’t run away from your marriage. Try to fix it”. Eventually, with the help of a caring grief counsellor, we sorted out our problems and renewed our commitment to work on our marriage. The secret in the renewal of our marriage was reliving that first time we fell madly in love with each other.

For the next 6 months, I was confined to the wheelchair or crutches . Sounds like those cheesy Filipino scenes in a movie, huh?

Our love is best seen as devotion and action, not just an emotion. Our love during those college sweethearts ‘ days were based on shallow emotions towards each other. Today, our devotion to each other has truly led us to true love.

Yes, young love is possible, dear girls. Our love will always be a work in progress till death do us part

Often when the revival of Beegees “How Deep is Your love” plays in the airwaves, the meaning of the lyrics rings true then and now:

Chorus:
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
cause were living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You’re the light in my deepest darkest hour
You’re my saviour when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

Epilogue- March 7, 2021

I took this picture on December 30, 2020 when my husband arrived home from a two-week hospitalization due to an asymptomatic case of Covid-19. This illness is so unpredictable that I thought the worst. Would he die? Would we both die? I don’t know how I survived those two weeks. Fortunately, my household staff and I tested negative for the coronavirus. But I prayed so hard that we survive this because we have so much to live for. Our coffee project is just starting. We still have to a meaningful life ahead of us. Despite all the hardships in our marriage, I would rather face them than live without the love of my life. Treasure each day with your loved ones. Celebrate life. 

March 7, 1978
butch and me

7 Years Later

wedding anniversarywedding anniversary

2006
butchandme.jpg

2008
anniversary

25th anniversary shoot at the UP Campus, March 2010

2011

2012

butch and I

2013

me and hubby

2014

beijing

2015

my husband and I

2016

new year 2016

2017

2018

2019

2020

December 30, 2020 – The day my husband went home from the hospital where he was confined for two weeks because of asymptomatic covid-19

107 thoughts on “Our Love Story: 43 years with my college sweetheart”

  1. i was reading your love story together with daughter, monica. she said you were a cute couple (old photos), and are a cute couple (latest photo). happy anniversary to you and butch! may you continue to have a loving family.

  2. aww.. Praise God for sustaining your relationship! =) I’m praying that the 6 years (and counting) relationship with my boyfriend will flourish into a story similar to yours. Nakakaiyak naman ^_^- congratulations!

  3. hi noemi. happy 29th anniversary to you and butch! i love the black and white pictures you posted, so nostalgic.

    coincidentally, my and hubs’ anniversary as BF and GF is March 6, so that close to a day with yours.

    all the best to you.

  4. You are indeed blessed after a long and difficult journey. Thank you for sharing with us the story of your recovery, it is really inspiring.

    Happy anniversary and I wish you and Butch more love and blessings in the decades to come. 🙂

  5. Happy anniversary! Ang dami nyo na ngang pinagdaanan. I love your story, I actually enjoyed reading it as I like “listening” to true love stories, kahit pa mushy pa yan.

    I wish you and your husband the best of everything to come.

  6. You know I always often think where we first met in college.was it at Sampaguita or even before that. I know I met you thru Gigi ALino but I remembered we both ran for STudent Council positions and we won di ba? Funny? Right? When remember our speeches and how we mapped out our plans for the college I smile to myself –wala namang nagyari di ba?
    Anyway I do remember a lot of things in College with you, Ipyot, your brothers green car(he is the guy from Ateneo).Your p[retty sister Myrna and gregarious Lorna.
    and somehow I think I remember your husband, is he the guy who is always at the BA steps(panag hi usa tambayan or brod siya ni Raul Panangalangan(now Dean of UP College of Law).
    Naku Noemi, I feel happy to share these memories with you. Di ko lang alam na may BF ka during those times kc lagi ka with a group.
    Anyway regards!

  7. @dexie- There are more years to come definitely.

    @KK- I didn’t want to write about it because it really sounds cheesy.

    @Lemon- we look back at our past and smile at our progress today.

    @jun- Hehe. . more years for us !

    @Apps- It wasn’t an easy road. I thought we would never get married because we had waited too long.

    @Feng- we didn’t have a lot of photos those days. I borrowed my sister’s camera so I could take photos of Butch and keep them.

    @Verns- Love stories and the outcome is always touching to read.

    @Sam- I guess with the pain, we are able to appreciate the joy that fills our heart

    @Ederic- my husband is really sweet.

    @auee- I subdued a lot of portions because Butch is uber mushy

    @Betty- I think we met at the dorm. Come to think of it, it’s election time in UP. M just asked me how I ran and won. I forgot how it happened. Thanks for reminding me.

    Yes my brother’s green Rambler car…you have good memory. Wow. Butch tambayan was the Alpha Sigma at the second floor near the theater. And yes, they were brods with Raul. They continue to be friends to this day.

    The boyfriend thing happened second to my last semester . It was ending already. (I was an Octoberian )

    Thanks for the memories. I forgot those little details already.

  8. Kay gandang lovestory which I savored from start to end. Written with and in love. Awww! Your story gives evidence that love, married love can and does endure, despite what cynics say. You’re lucky Noems. Butch is too. Congrats. More happiness, more love, more success!!

  9. @Belle- we rediscovered each other . It’s even lovelier than it ever was

    @Annamanila- hehe I remember Mang Ike who use to call Butch “schoolbus” because he often picked me up from work.

  10. Happy anniversary to you both, and congratulations! After 29 years and still or even more in love, that is indeed a feat. You guys look great together…then and now 😀

    and yes, God does work in mysterious ways. tignan mo, when you tried to run away pinatid ka niya. lol! can you just imagine what he said as he stuck his foot out?

  11. Hi, Noems! You were SO right about Butch doing his homework before aggressively pursuing your affections. Do you remember that time I arrived in Manila, somehow met Butch (through you, Gigi, Cez, or Zelpha?) when I stayed for a few days at Narra Residence Hall, close to your dorm, Sampaguita Residence Hall.

    Oh sure, I do remember that he made an effort to get to know me — and I wasn’t surprised. He was checking out our family background, can you believe that? He did have the motorcycle with him… I recall talking with him outside the dormitory’s front doors one night till midnight.

    The next day, I visited you at your dorm and casually mentioned that I had met Butch. You asked me if he had mentioned anything about you. I said, “No, we were just talking about stuff.” I wasn’t surprised that we weren’t talking about you either…

    Hmmm, I did notice that you wanted to know what Butch and I talked about — but truly, Noems, I couldn’t remember. I had been so tired from my trip (I didn’t take a plane, I took one of those William Lines shipping vessels) that my roommate had to wake me up because she was afraid I was suffering from “Bangungot.”

    I do remember Butch was a very attentive listener. C’mon, you know that I can prattle along when I talk with new friends. Truly, I was really on the look-out of my “crush,” who was staying in the same dorm. Sure enough, before I left, I did meet my “crush” and had a good reunion, chatting about how we would change the world.

    Now you know why I wasn’t nosy or curious enough to know why Butch was so interested in having a conversation with me.

    Gee, Noems… Did I make a good impression that time —- and paved the way to your great relationship?

    OBK.

    “Only Butch Knows.”

  12. @ManuelV- thanks. I know We look great together.

    @Cecille- I think it is love makes one radiate with beauty

    @Jmom- I can’t believe it myself. I laugh at it now. I believe that accident was a sign talaga

    @Chateau- Yes I hope it inspires married couples to give a second chance if both are willing to work on the marriage

    @Butch- he was surely wise. He was trying to get information from you. funny guy.

  13. Wow. Thanks for sharing. That was very well-written/well-chronicled. The whole “falling from the stairs” bit was meant to be in a movie.Happy anniversary! 🙂

    My girlfriend and I are about to celebrate 4 years of being together this June – no plans of getting married yet. :p

  14. Congratulations on your 29th year! I am hopeful, my husband and I would be together just as long as you guys are. I just got married to him last March 8. ^_^ He’s my boyfriend for more than 6 years though I know him for 10 years. We were highschool friends. 🙂 I wish you guys all the best in the years to come. Again, best wishes and God Bless.

  15. Wow! That is a wonderful story of true love. Congratulations on your 29th!

    I can’t help but cry though. I have been struggling with my relationship for the past few years. And it’s been “should I stay or should I go now?” I am just so unhappy and yet I am sticking it with my partner for a few reasons: one for the kids’ sake; two, I can’t afford to raise the kids by myself; three, I think there is still hope for us if we are both willing to change. Unfortunately, I think change is a two-way street, and it has to happen yet.

    Sorry, for pouring out my problems here. And I’m sorry for not revealing my name here, but you have my email address and you know who I am.

    Thank you for this inspiring story though. It makes me want to grab on to that rope of hope even tighter.

    Cheers! 🙂

  16. @benj- so like in the movies. truth is stranger than fiction.

    @Abbie- as long as both of you are willing, you will be able to pesevere

    @N.H- I didn’t tell all the sordid details but the plan to separate was not a whim. I planned it all out. Like you, I didn’t have money and the kids were just too young (in their teems). As fate had it, the day I left…the kids were in college and are more understanding.. I was able to save enough money to tide me over. But then destiny intervened. See, Butch was willing to work it out. As long as both work on the marriage, it is possible to work . I gave it a shot because I could see that he wanted us to be together. The change was not immediate. Our marriage continues ot be a work in progress.

    @ganns- I have left out some details . Our love story would have been even sappier..hehe

  17. Ayayay! Those pics bring back UP Law memories hehehe

    Grabe, Noemi, 29 years.

    Gush. But congrats to you and Butch (Hi, Butch!) and the new house. I’m so excited we’re going to be quite near to each other. 🙂

  18. Just stumbled upon your blog. What a beautiful story!
    With my own roller-coaster marriage of 26 years, I’ve
    known the ups and downs of a union fueled by sudden sad events of life. Now I can look at things more positively. Thanks for the inspiration!!

  19. Believe it or not, I’ve spent 3 hours,browsing fotos incl. your gorgeous li’l one last fotos & reading some of your entries.Really fascinated with your life story & inspired by it.

    This particular post is truly heartwarming! Lovely lovely couple! I wish you & your mala Richard Gere na husband all the best:)

    Warm greetings from Germany!

  20. Hi don knw whose gona read ma story but its true, its not so special or important for u people but i hav been through those situation were i can’t tell my story cos its not a happy its a sad story cos it was a one sided i think im not sure cos till today i hav not seen that girl we met through sms and b’com friens and slowly we addicted to each other i lied her 1st then confessed still she believed me theng really started liking her so much i even become crazy how much i also don know cos i can’t explain i did every thing but the last when i talked with her i came to know how desperate she was to get rid of me then i realised that i was the only guy a big fool who thinks if u love some one truly u wil get but its my mistake its k im don blame her cos i took her in wrong sense cos she thought me a good friend im not sure we spent 2years together in same city but we never met once i managed to meet her only 32 minutes i met her ther she proved that she’s grate i believe she’s the only girl i think is grate i know i ll never forget her she’s always in my heart if possible i ll try to get her in my next birth sorry for making u people bore cos of my story

  21. Your love story is great! A bit similar to ours, except that we didn’t lose a child (which was very painful; Praise God! you made it through). My husband and I were senior high school sweethearts. We almost separated though, two years ago- that was the time when our marriage was really tested. Anyways, I just would like to say that though your two years older than Butch, you look so young! But Butch still look quite handsome. You two are a lovely couple- then, and now. May you continue to inspire other couples and the younger generation. God bless your family!

  22. your story is very inspiring and i can relate to it. i met my first boyfriend here in UP and currently, we’re still together. the shopping center, dorm and sunken garden scenes all seem familiar. haha. I know my reasons for entering the relationship was a little shallow too, but i’m hoping that the two of us would last.. if not, I know God has a better plan…

    God bless you po.. (=

  23. I love your story! It’s really beautiful.
    I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen in a month. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and four months now; celebrating it today. Haha. We sometimes talk about the future and how we’ll look back at what we’re going through at present. Haha! I know we may be young, but I hope the two of us will last, too. I know it will. =)

    I wasn’t doing anything a while ago, so.. I was searching “I love my boyfriend” in google, and I happen to stumble upon yours. I’m glad I did.

    Your story inspired me.
    God Bless you and your family! =)

  24. hey po i am louise gutierrez po from wonder mom, can i have your contact number po? we are looking for couples na matagal na pong married with kids and still sweet paren, you can contact me po at 09063151132,..

  25. Wow! Very inspiring love story! Just like you, my husband and I met when we were still in college. I hope our love will also last a lifetime!
    Thanks for sharing this! God bless your family!

  26. I am a newbie in the blogging world. I also dont know how i came to your blog site. But i guess there has to be a reason why i was lead to your site. I find your entries so inspiring. Kudos to your site.

  27. “Our love is best seen as devotion and action, not just an emotion. Our love during those college days were based on shallow emotions towards each other. Today, our devotion to each other has truly led us to true love.”

    Lovely =)

  28. hi. your blog really inspires me. 🙂 wish i could have the same love story like yours. thanks for that inspiring story.im wishing you both a stronger and longer years together. stay inlove and beautiful. god bless. 🙂

  29. Grabe Tita, I cried through your story! What an inspiration. Marriage really is not all about emotions and giddy feelings (that’s actually infatuation). It’s the commitment to stick it out with your better half, for better or for worse. Syempre that excludes abusive relationships. Others kasi they call co-dependency as commitment.

    Kahapon pala ang anniversary niyo. Belated po! I am so happy to have known such a wonderful person as you. God bless you and your family more! 😀

    Jennies last blog post..Just a Quick Update

  30. truly love works in mysterious ways 🙂

    your love story is one for the books. may you and butch always be as lovey dovey. may you live happily ever after too 🙂

    p.s.
    can’t get over how butch looked like…parang di sya..hehehe 🙂

    Cookies last blog post..Alone One Morning

  31. Congratulations! I like the part where you said, “Our love is best seen as devotion and action, not just an emotion.”

    Love between couples is truly amazing. It evolves many times, yet you always end up with the kind of love that keeps you both together.

    Happy counting many more blessed years together! 🙂

    Meikahs last blog post..I Enjoy Being a Woman

  32. Wow! How I wish I had your love story. You’re lucky to have a husband whom you know loves you truly. Sadly, not all of us have the same luck.

    I hope to find my true love soon 🙂

  33. i was inquiring about the 2009 bar exams results which is yet to be posted perhaps by the end of the month or first week of april, much to my disappiontment, but suddenly the disappointment faded away when i click on your blog and read about your love story. it was great. i hope i’ll have one soon.

    nakarelate ako dun sa sinabi nyo na, nung nanliligaw palang husband nyo, he has way of words…and you thought about after saying not marying him because you have no future with him…oooh…i said that to myself too, with my current bf now whom i learned to love despite his being chickboy. at least ngayon, masasabi ako na lang ang nag-iisa sa puso niya hehehe.

    well, the point is, i wish we will end up together too. hehehe. we have plans of getting hitch after i my lawschool graduation. that will be two years from now. how i wish, di lang nya lang yun promise hehehe.

    indeed, falling in love is the best feeling i ever had, i never thought loving someone who loves you in return can make life seem so perfect and easy. not that i am imagining happy endings, i know we still have a long way to struggle in this relationship, but i am praying this relationship will work out. nakakapagod na kasing maghintay hehehe.

    keep the love ardently blazing!

  34. weeh .. ang ganda pu ng love story nyo! im looking forward din pu inf finding true love .. hay .. i wish i can have a story that i can also share to others ! god speed ! and hope you relationship last and still bloom !

  35. It is May 05 today, and I am but a stranger in your life. But be enlightened that the purpose for your writings is inspiring the purpose in other people’s lives, gratefuly in mine.

    This has been a wonderful grace. Thank you.

  36. Wow, that’s such a touching story, it makes me want to find ‘someone’ before graduating in college. haha. BTW, I’m currently studying in UP so I can just imagine you two meeting up and all. 🙂

    More power to you and your husband! 🙂

    austenfans last blog post..Hung Up On Wolverine

  37. I found the best thing to my boyfriend’s birthday… It’s really hard to find cool and still unique.
    So today I saw this thing from ZTARLET on facebook where you can name a real star in heaven and have the certificate and a teddy bear sent to you and pay it by a single SMS. So awesome 🙂

  38. What a beautiful story! I hope my marriage can also withstand the test of time just like yours.

    Your struggles with your husband reminded me of the movie Magkapatid, wherein Sharon had a hard time coping with the death of their son. I love that movie! It really made me cry buckets of tears.

    I’m glad you made it through.
    .-= Honney´s last blog ..Twittering… =-.

  39. ang ganda po ng story nyo..ako kamuntik na din pong nahiwalay pero gods will nagkabalikan po kami uli ng wife ko.
    nakaka-inspire….may god give you long life..

  40. Thank you for sharing your wonderful love story. reading your blog was just a pure accident and end up wishing that my marriage did not end up in a snap..God Bless you and your family

  41. u guyz luk truly in love …i loved the love story ….i am married for 18 years and have a wonder ful and a very romantic love story too i truly feel the way u feel ..with evry kiss and every hug he make me fall in love ……..again and again ..GOD bless u both ..ur hubby and u make aperfect couple

  42. good day, ms.noemi 🙂

    i am vky mendoza, one of the researchers of Rated K, the sunday magazine show of ms.korina sanchez aired over ABS-CBN. we are currently looking for a unique love story which was able to surpass insurmountable conflicts, but in the end the couple’s love for each other won over these obstacles in their relationship.. and is worthy of being included in one of our episodes.

    i chanced upon this blog entry of yours and it got me interested. i am hoping i’ll be able to talk to you over the phone for pre-interview so i can pitch your story in our meeting.

    you may reach me po through 0920-9824802. medyo urgent lang po.

    thanks in advance. 🙂

  43. Hey that is quite a love story, a very inspiring one, from the start up to the end I can’t help but told myself ” kakainggit” and “kakakilig”. Keep on holding to each other and nothing or no one can separate the two of you. More power and always put God the center of your family and you won’t be mislead.

  44. Hello, Noemi…Advance Happy Anniversary to you (again!!…I’m glad i caught your blog in time for your next anniversary this coming May.) Let me be the first to greet both of you then.
    I hope things are really getting stronger with you guys..
    I love how realistic you make it sound the way both of you went through this relationship..its true, it isn’t all beds of roses. But even with the downside of things, when you think you’ve had enough, i thinki’d go through them again and again (ok , so maybe not a third time??, hehehe.)…
    My husband of 12 years and I also celebrate two anniversaries, one just last March 22 for our wedding anniversary.. And the other, october 17th, w/c i call the date when i met my real best friend. We were mag-“on” for 11 years before we got married. We finished our b.s. degrees first in architecture and worked for about 6 years more after that with his family’s real estate firm.
    As you can see, I can relate, really..Ü
    I like your love story. I hope you get stronger as the years pass…Then, I know, we can also make it..Ps read also your husband’s blog about the warrior lawyer. His grief must be deep. My husband loves my two children very much, and i can imagine how it must feel when i look at it from my husbands point of view. Godspeed!

  45. What a wonderful love story… i remember the time I first met my wife six years ago in our Philo class at UP Diliman…

    Had a chance to browse your blog ma’am, after searching for a picture of US Embassy Cultural Attache ALan Holst.

    Regards to Sir Butch, from Ferdie of Mapua Office of the President.

  46. Pingback: Hubby and I are now compatible with new Zodiac signs | A Filipina Mom Blogger

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