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I will be bold and campaign against violence #InternationalWomensDay #BeBoldForChange

Where to Seek Help: Domestic Abuse & Violence Against Women in the Philippines

Today March 8 is International Women’s Day

I will be bold and campaign against violence and …

  • educate youth about positive relationships
  • challenge those who justify perpetrators and blame victims
  • donate to groups fighting abuse
  • speak out against the silence of violence
  • be vigilant and report violence
  • campaign for the prevention of violence
  • abstain from all violence, physical and otherwise
  • volunteer your help at a local charity
  • recognize coercive control and redress it

Today, I will share my campaign for the prevention and how to seek help for those suffering from domestic abuse and  violence against women here in my own country, the Philippines




HOTLINE FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE is +632-922-5235 or +632-926-7744
Women’s Crisis Center
3F ER-Trauma Extension
Annex Building of the East Avenue Medical Center in Diliman , Quezon City

Electronic violence: Map reports of violence. Submit reports on electronic violence against women at ph.

More help numbers to contact :

Department of Social Welfare and Development
(02)931-8101 to 07 or your local social welfare office

NBI Violence Against Women and Children’s Desk (02) 523-8231 to 38 or 525-6028

Philippine National Police
723-0401 to 20 or your local police

 Here in the Philippines, one in five Filipino women aged 15-49 has experienced physical violence since age 15. There is more. One in seven women who were married experienced physical violence by their husband. Three in five women who experienced physical or sexual violence reported experiencing depression, anxiety, and anger.

If you know an abused friend or relative or if you yourself are abused, please be empowered. Read on. Contact numbers to seek help below the entry.


“You provoked me”, the wife-beater smugly said.

“It is still no reason to hit me” protested the wife.

domestic abuse This is a common conversation that occurs between the wife beater and the abused woman. Wife beaters have a specific pattern that can be seen early in a relationship.

Abusive men often are highly romantic, sweet and protective early in their relationships. They lavish their women gifts during courtship. For them, women are trophies to be won over and objects to possess, and not people to enter equal partnerships with.

This cycle of domestic abuse can be broken if women know how to empower themselves. The  law, Republic Act (RA) 9262 “Anti-Violence Against Women and Children (VAWC) is not against men. It is against men who treat their women as property.

The following is a true story of how RA 9262 is working for a battered wife, a close friend who narrated the following events to me (names and certain situations changed):

Maria, a businesswoman has been a battered wife for 15 years. She’s married to a successful engineer who is soft-spoken and a Sto. Nino devotee. Who would have imagined that she silently suffered from physical and verbal abuse all these years? I would have never thought and even her own family. Her sister knew of her predicament just recently and got referred to GABRIELA, the same women’s group that lobbied for the law to be passed. GABRIELA, in turn advised her to help Maria file for a protection order. But Maria would hear none of it.

Nooo. It was my fault anyway.

How embarrassing.

What will the neighbors think?

I’m a failure.

I can still take it.

Maria coined a lot of excuses.

The battered wife thought that the law will never work but she promised her sister that if her husband resumes his abusive behavior, she will consider the filing of criminal charges.

Everything was nice and dandy for almost a year until her husband succumbed to work-related pressures. That night , he drank way too many beers and just threw a fist at Maria’s head without provocation.

Maria saw stars spinning as the blow hit her. Steadying herself, she stood up and ran out of the house. Her husband repeatedly hit her in the arms as she vainly struggled to set free from his hold. In her hurry, she forgot to bring money and her cellphone. She also left her teenage daughter. In desperation, Maria dashed to the barangay office to file a complaint. She remembered RA 9262. Immediately after hearing her complaint, three barangay tanods accompanied her to the house.

“They responded to my plea” she thought.

The barangay tanods negotiated with the husband to allow Maria to enter the house peacefully and get her things.

The next day , she filed for a Barangay Protection Order (BPO) and got it within the hour. Maria went to the East Medical Center earlier and acquired a medico -legal certification which she showed to the barangay captain.

The BPO was served to the husband. Enraged, “How dare she do this to me? How dare she destroy my good name?

Fearing the wrath of her husband, Maria worried for her future safety. That’s when she decided to file for Temporary Protection Order (TPO). Maria was accompanied by a barangay worker to the Women’s Assistance Desk at the Police Station where the policewoman (in civilian clothes) prepared her statement. She was told to reproduce 10 copies of the complaint, together with the medico-legal findings, the BPO, the barangay blotter and submit it to the Fiscal’s office.

Would you believe it? She was granted her TPO within the day.

Together with a court order, law enforcers visited their conjugal home and ordered the husband to pack up his things and leave the house. After being reassured that her husband already left peacefully, only then did Maria re-enter her home.

Criminal proceedings will follow suit. The protection orders are not a guarantee that Maria will be safe but it will be a deterrent for the husband. Violation of the TPO is punishable with a fine ranging from Five Thousand Pesos (P5,000.00) to Fifty Thousand Pesos (P50,000.00) and/or imprisonment of six (6) months.

Aside from physical abuse, the law also protects women from , psychological or emotional, sexual violence and economic abuse.

domestic abuseSo battered or abused women, married or single, don’t despair. Be empowered. There is hope. My friend , Cathy recently wrote a column on Are you a Rihanna? She relates that batterers do not look like batterers at all. So don’t be fooled. Cathy has more to say on domestic violence:

The road to this “empowerment” however, is long and narrow. Often the battered spouse takes the abuse for many years before she finally wakes up. There is the cycle of violence to grapple with. As Nina put it so aptly : “Batterers do not look like batterers. They are often very charming and look like they can do no harm.” In her case, she said that often, after her husband would abuse her, he would transform into the sweetest, most apologetic person in the world. “I thought then that since he was sorry with my love would be enough able to change him .  Rihanna issue with her. “It’s a vicious cycle, and after a while, the battered wife or partner begins to feel like she deserves the beating, and so she continues to believe him and take him back after every apology. It’s like an addiction of sorts.”

There continues to be a very strong stigma attached to domestic abuse in this country. Either the women refuse to speak up because of “hiya” or because they feel they have no place to go and are more often than not, financially dependent on the abuser. Other family members may refuse to step into the problem because they feel it is not in their place to do so. Other women are told by elders who know no better, “just bear it, he will change.” Martyrdom is not a virtue especially if you have children who see the violent acts taking place. Violence should have no room in any family, and it must never be tolerated. As one other battered friend who had found the courage to break out of the cycle once told me, ““What will your ““hiya” do, if the violence escalates and one day all that is left is a lifeless you?” If you find yourself in this situation or know of someone who is, speak up for yourself or speak out for your loved ones.

This also holds true even for unmarried couples. Speak Out Against Domestic Violence!. Under the Republic Act (RA) 9262 ““Anti-Violence Against Women and Children , the victim need not be the one who applies for the protection order. There are roughly 20 victims in one day. Domestic violence is not limited to one social class. Many of the unreported cases belong to women belonging in the upper class of society. The figures could be higher than 20 victims a day.

Violence against women in any form is a crime. But you are not at fault. You did not cause the abuse to occur. You are not alone. Break the silence.

There are laws to protect you. Get help now.

Where to get Help

HOTLINE FOR ABUSED WOMEN is +632-922-5235 or +632-926-7744
Donations in cash and kind are welcome at the Women’s Crisis Center, 3F ER-Trauma Extension, Annex Building of the East Avenue Medical Center in Diliman , Quezon City
In Manila, call these numbers to ask for help:

Department of Social Welfare and Development
(02)931-8101 to 07 or your local social welfare office

NBI Violence Against Women and Children’s Desk (02) 523-8231 to 38 or 525-6028

Philippine National Police
723-0401 to 20 or your local police

PNP-Women and Children Protection Center
410-3213 or your local barangay women and children’s desk


Download The Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004 (Republic Act No. 9262) and other Resources

Republic Act (R.A.) 9262: Law for the Protection of Women and Children

    • Even if skeptical of the law or afraid of your abusive partner, be prepared for a



Here are valuable resources from Atty Bing Guanzon and Atty. Adrian Sison:



Judge Rebecca Mariano issued a Temporary Protection Order on May 4, 2005, the first Protection Order to be issued under the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004 or Republic Act No. 9262.

Say “NO” to violence against women. Sign up at

Photo via Flickr

49 thoughts on “I will be bold and campaign against violence #InternationalWomensDay #BeBoldForChange”

  1. It’s heartbreaking how a person you love and you think, loves you is the same person to inflict you with injuries physically and emotionally.

    Physical wounds heal faster but emotional and psychological damages last forever.

    I hope all women will find strength to end an abusive relationship and I pray for a miracle that abusive partners may one day change once and for all.

    1. The battered woman can choose to leave that unhealthy relationship. That’s empowerment. Why stay in a relationship that is just full of abuse even if the abusive partner is remorseful after the abuse. It is a vicious cycle common in abusive men.

      The abusive partner may have hope to change but he has to undergo counseling, first. Battered women should NOT wait for their partners to change. Help themselves first.

      The best weapon of any woman against domestic violence is empowerment. Love oneself first.

      1. my husband verbaly abuses me and it is driving me crazy. I can’t leave him because I need his medical insurance. I have given up my profession and now I am not updated and would have to be retrained. I woke up this morning to being told to shut the fuck up. Help

      2. how can I keep withstanding this psychological and emmotional abuse with out loosing my self worth? I can’t leave him because I need his medical insurance and have become his maid giving up my career which will be difficult to get back into. He has driven me to do crazy things that he later uses against me. I must be strong. How do I do it?

    2. im now staying overseas with my hubby and baby,but i can’t help myself to to worry about my love ones in Philippines especially my mom..Recently,around 19 or 20th of january,2010,sinaktan na naman ng daddy ko ang mama ko.Gusto kong magsumbong at ipakulong na sya para matapos na ang paghihirap ng mga kapatid at mama ko doon..All these years,pinapanalangin ko na sana magbago na daddy ko,pero hinde,paulit ulit pa rin nyang sinasaktan kundi mama ko ay mga kapatid ko.Isinusumpa ko sya,at talagang gusto ko na syang maparusahan..Magmula pagkabata,namulat na kaming lahat sa panggugulpi nya,kaya ng makatapos ako ng high school,mas pinili kong mag trabaho na agad para makalayo sa bahay at malayo sa pananakit nya..Akala ko magbabago sya,pagkatapos kong gawin lahat para makatulong sa pamilya namin,mapunan ang mga pagkukulang na sya ang dapat na gumagawa,pero hinde pa rin pala,kahit siguro sa huling sandali nya,di pa rin sya magbabago..Sa inyo po,tulungan nyo po ako,diko napo alam gagawin ko,di ko napo kayang manahimik na lang at hintaying may masamang mangyari sa pamilya ko. Ang di ko lang po kasi alam ay kung payag din po ang mama ko na isumbong na sya at maipakulong,dahil sa ngayon po,ang tanging sahod po ng daddy ko ang inaasahan nila..Please do help me,what should i do???

  2. I have been battered for 10 years, physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, economical, name it…i ended the relationship 5 years ago but the verbal, emotional, psychological and economical abuse did not stop until now. He slowly killed my personality, I really thought that I was a useless, pathetic person (as he oftentimes called me) but my kids are growing and 2 of them are boys, I dont want them to grow in that hostile environment, so I took the courage to leave him with the help of my friends. Now I remain to be strong for my kids. I filed a case against him (RA9262) but that did not stop him from abusing me verbally, pyschologically, emotionally and even economically at that.
    But I know I will survive this, I have the truth in me. He has his alibis.

    1. How awful it must have been. You took the first step by saying NO. It must be hard being on your own but see, you don’t want your kids to live in that violent environment.

      You will survive this.

  3. thank you thank you for the info.

    do you know any resources to help file child support from deadbeat dads too? since women who are battered are sometimes also mothers. and realistically it takes 2 incomes to support a child. is there some organization that could help out in this one.

    and how much the lawyer fees are.

    i’m really curious since there are a few people that i care about that are in a position like this.

    issais last blog post..Metreon

  4. Aside from the violence, I know a lot of working women whose husbands stay at home (housebands) not necessarily as they are jobless, but because they choose to do the seemingly uncomplicated house-tending duties. I once worked with an agent under my group, who really excelled at work and was getting promoted here and there, would go to (or skip) work black and blue, only later I found out she’s beaten up because she’s the ‘better’ half (and the stupid houseband has nothing to be proud of except keeping her pregnant). Pushed her (the agent) to speak up but I would get the same reason over and over again (that she loves the father of her children yada…yada…). Not only women but (concerned) men can actually do something about it…

    Carl Lozanos last blog post..New iPod Shuffle is talking

    1. Thank you Carl for your compassion to your co-worker. I don’t know the extent of the law on how friends can help the abused woman. From what I know, one can report the abuse to the barangay of residence

  5. it’s a sad reality that there are thousands of pinays out there that are victims of domestic violence. i think it’s very important that as a woman, you have to show your partner that you’re independent and has a mind of your own. i noticed that in most cases of domestic violence, the victims are inherently submissive to their husband and are easily influenced by them (husbands).

    men are inherently dominant and sometimes, when they are confident about the loyalty and unconditional love of their partners, they tend to abuse it. men that beat their partners usually have temper and/or psychological problems which they are not aware of. some have family history of domestic violence (dad-beats-mom type) and they subconsciously apply the same to their partners.

    women should be able to detect the signs that their partners are potential beaters early on in their relationship. i still believe that prevention is always better than cure.

  6. My mom is a victim of marital infidelity, repeated verbal abuse and public humiliation. This happens whenever my dad is drunk which is practically everyday. We seek help from his relatives (hoping he will be enlightened to what he is doing to my mom and his own family)Baranggay, Police, Hall of Justice in our place. She finally filed RA 9262 last year but withdrew it because we put our dad in a private rehab in the hope that he will change. He did not. He got out last week of March and his behaviour is worst. He verbally and psychologically abuse my mom and our maid now, saying all words to belittle them. Baranggay and police officers told us we cannot issue BPO or put him in jail not until he lay hands on them.

    Is this really accurate? So what’s the point of putting verbal, psychological abuse in the list? Please help.

    (I told my mom to get out of the house and live with me away from my dad. But she does not want to leave their house because my younger brother is still there and her children invested a lot to give her that home. She is giving a lot of reasons why she wants to stay but I know that at the back of her mind she is still hoping my dad will change…i already told her she is the only one to put an end to it. She has to say realize enough is enough.)

    1. Next time, print the law and show it to the barangay. Maybe they don’t know the law.

      I still think you should continue to encourage your mom to live with you. She may change her mind. by living with your dad,she is enabling the alcoholic.

  7. hi ,, my sister is battered wife in fact last night her husband bit her and she almost died. we called barranggay tanod and no one help. the next day we report barraggay captain file an abuse to her husband and , they said it is not granted juz becoz its not my sister who filed personaly please help..

    my sister cant live the house becoz he lock her and treaten her that if she live he will kill her if she seen her… where to ask to help in misamis oriental mindanao.? what group that are in mindanao who help battered woman?

  8. hi my name is rose and im actually undergoing this kind of situation,,,,
    and im filing a case againts him and im having a hard time since her mom is working for BJMP here in pampanga
    im not a rich person and im really seeking for an help and seeking for my protection because he might go back and do something worst
    as of now he stay in jail till june 30 for the petition of his resolution
    he already have an attorney which i still don’t have and im looking for a protection coming from the police but they said that i can only ask for BPO(BARANGAY PROTECTION ORDER) which i don’t trust alot,,,,
    we all know how barangay works in philippines plus knowing that the barangey i would ask was same of the barangay he lives…
    so kinda like a BIAS
    im seeking for an help since i don’t have that too much money to get an attorney and i need it badly because june 30 is too near …
    i hope you could help me with this matter
    plus i don’t know where to start and what to do…
    the guy knows all my where abouts and plus i wana have the custody of our kids which is 6 and 2 y/o
    or maybe file for their custody,,,

    please im seeking help as soon as possible thanks

  9. My husband and I just had a fight as usual the same story you all posted here- domestic violence. I’ve been thinking of how to end this misery but I can’t find people to approach to and where to go. Upon reading your site and knowing the right of women against violence I think I have now the idea. I still have a problem though- financial support from him. We both are willing to separate but the problem is he wants to see me helpless without his financial support and I don’t want that to happen since I have 3 kids to raise. Is there a way that I could ask for financial support from him legally? Where do I go? I hope that I can get answers from you soon and I would really appreciate it. Thanks and best regards.

  10. I have a close friend who is experiencing the same. Marital rape, physical abuse, name it. We have already reported the case to the nearest police station and have called them once. However, when they arrived at the house, they can’t seem to do anything but watch while the husband act like everything is alright and nothing has happened. They even said that they can’t do anything about it since it’s already their marriage problem. Now my friend has lost her confidence with the police. I want to help her out but I really dont know how. Please help. Thanks.

  11. hi. just wanna ask what if the beating is initiated by both? cos wen the husband beats the wife the wife beats him back as well cause of too much pain not only physically but also emotionally. would the violence that the wife gets from her husband is still gonna be considered under RA 9262? would the wife still gets protection against this kind of situation. i actually speak on behalf of a friend who badly needs help. she doesnt know if she’s gonna get the right to be protected and to file a case against her husband? cos she got herself so confused about everything that happened. there is also a history of having a third party on the husband’s side. they broke up for almost 5 months got back together now for almost a year but of course, they’re in this shaky and “trying-to-work-things-out” kind of relationship. problem is instead of working things out together, it turned out that they’ve entered another level of marriage issue which is much more complicated and worst. pls help. it would be very much appreciated. tnx

  12. hi. ive never been hit. but i feel that i have died inside for all the verbal and emotional abuse i got from him. from being useless and shallow and being intimidated to leave the house…. i got it. and people laugh at my sentiments for he is a perfectly responsible father..

    1. where do i go for verbal abuse? the silent yet more painful abuse…
    2. i loved him but i am so tired now. tired of pleasing him so he would simply say that im not stupid.
    3. i want to know what i can do… i.e. i already tried talking to him a hundred times only to be told that it was all my fault.

  13. Hi,

    It’s kindda a strange question, but what if instead of a woman, a man is a victim of domestic abuse what can he do?

    The situation is :

    he is verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and to some lesser extent physically abused.

    now he is also receiving most of the treatment his mom used to receive.

    he has to justify almost all of his actions, decisions…

    they manipilate the situation so they have “reason” to get angry

    he is ask to give instructions to a worker, but only given vague
    details, then before he can clarify, he is requested to summon the
    worker and give the instructions….

    then when he does not instruct properly –due to lack of info– he is
    then scolded for being unable to give instructions clearly….

    He is not banned technically from working for others, but their actions, temperment,etc. suggest such… thus he is financially dependent to a certain extent

    Last time he tried, his dad visited his workplace every evening….
    and was always bombarded with “we need peaple in our family
    business…. why do work here” etc. he had to stop after a month at

    there seem to be all or a lot of signs of an abusive relationship

    *insensitivity– when he protested about not being able to eat healthy he was told that he(dad) had lived long enough already and if his(dad) life is shortened to 10 more year he would not mind– he (dad) would like to enjoy the food

    another time: he told him(dad) that asbestos powder can cause cancer, coz he(dad) was working with it in the office– he(dad) answered, we need the money and if I live just a little longer that’s okay with me…— but what about the other people with him(dad)

    *apologizing then repeating again
    *misinformation and trying to drive him crazy
    *making him appear wrong/bad

    trying to talk to them seems to be of no use– they will not talk about it, kindda…

    Where can he seek help?

    He tried a psychiatrist, helped a little but enraged his brother, so now he keeps on boasting that he’s going to undo what the doct did for him( the abused) and makes life harder for him( the abused)….

  14. my father is a typical abuser, he will verbally abuse (curse us) and the next day, He gave us money for shopping and so whatever. My Mom also a battered wife, the same thing he do to us, abuse then be good on the next day. My mom keep this for almost 3 years, and lately My father show physical abuse in front of us (children). I was so shocked, and so afraid, i always cry everytime he abuse my mom. to make my story short, My father chocked me and i told my mom that we will file case against him. Violation of RA9262 and Attemptd Parricide. i dont know what will happen next? Serving Justice in Philippines is so slow. anyway, please Pray for us, we need strength and presence of mind because this may take a long time. thanks RA9262. ^^

  15. my mom is 59 years old and she is still being abused by my dad verbally. my dad is 54 years old now, he doesn’t really respect my mom, he would also course her in front of my little siblings. and its very painful for me since i am the eldest amongst siblings. i would scream at him and course him back just to defend my mom, since his showing no respect to her i would do the same to him as well and that’s the only way i can defend my mom. i also advised my mom to file a case against him but my mom refuses because shes afraid that it would affect me and my siblings. and also shes afraid that my dad might took our house and let his mistress live in our house. i wanted to end her miserable life with my dad but i don’t know what to do. i would love to hear some advise from you guys and i would appreciate if you can you can give contact numbers to where i can file or report the abuse. thanks a lot!

  16. Hi, I’m only 16 but ever since I could remeber my dad beat,raped,and cheted on my mom! She is still with him! She will not leave she keeps saying I’m going to , but she dosent ! I told her to pick me or him and she picked him! She beeen with him for 15 years, and shhe dosent want to be alone! I told her I’m always with her. He spends his check on other gitls,sometimes we have NO foood to eat! I don’t kno what to doo ! I’m leaving when I’m 17 , but I’m scared for my mother.She dosent want to call the police either!

    Always , confused daughter!

  17. I went to abroad to marry my fiance but i backed out and went back home here in the philippines becoz i realized that i dont love him anymore.But after 2 weeks passed since i get back home i started to receive some emails threatening me that he’ll get revenge and it is still not over, he actually said that had nude pictures of me that he taken on the webcam without my knowledge becoz when we’re still together he forced me to do things on the internet to satisfy his carnal first i gave in, but when i felt being abused i told him that i wont do it again becoz i got traumatized. i think thats when the time my feelings started to change.But I didnt know that he had recorded those scenes.My GOd! I need help coz he’s been threatening me till now that he’ll use it to get revenge.Please can you please give my advice on who i can talk to. I want to file a legal case against him so that he can stop doing this to me. I have saved all his emails and messages that i can use as evidence..thanks!


  18. is there a way to get out of a miserable relationship with the woman and kids staying in the conjugal house, and kick the beating guy out after the domestic violence report was made rather than the lady and kids? what if the house is under the name of the guy who has a dual citizenship? should he be reported to the nbi too?

  19. isa akung ofw dito sa saudi and problima ko yung anak ko na lalaki ang nag abuso sa kanyang mag kapatid na babae atpag manakit siya sa ulo pa niya sinusuntok minsan sinasak tan din niya ang misis ko kaya nung pagkatapus ko sa contract ng dalawang taon umuwi na ako sa pinas at balak ko na talagang hindi na bumalik,pero dahil sa kahirapan napilitan akung bumalik dahil nag promise naman ang anak ko na di na sya manakit,,nung nandito na ako sa abroad ginawa na naman niya ang pang abuso lalo na pag may hingein na pera sinisira lahat mga gamit iasa siyang myembro ng taugam fraternity anung dapat naming gawin siya ay 20 years old na mag 21 next year april 27, anong dapat gawin ng asawa ko di niya kaya ang lakas ng anak ko halos lingo2 silang sinasaktan di pa ako makauwi dahil may 2011 pa matapos contrct ko nag rent lang kami sa maynila wala akong mga kamag anak na makatulong sa kanila.. pls rply me ..

  20. I know this is not much of a topic compared to other women’s problem but it would really help us if you guys help women who’s being abused over the internet.

    I am a model and I know it’s part of my job to showcase my body but take note we don’t sell it. I believe that models like me have to be respected and we the rights to be compensated when someone humiliated us. I hold on into a belief that “It’s NOT the OBJECT that gives you the judgement and erection but it’s your own OBSCENITY” but we are also human and we can also get hurt whenever we see humiliating comments about us.

    In regards to my issue, I want to teach this certain guy a lesson. I want my dignity and pride back as a woman. To further check on what happened you can visit


    –Any reply would greatly be appreciated.

  21. hi, I am 30 yrs old and i was abused when i was a child. I just want to know if there are groups like the alcoholic anonymous, that i could go to and talk here in the philippines, specifically in the manila area. I believe that it would be a big help for me to attend to groups like that. Thanks

  22. Hi I am 30 yrs old and i was abused as a child by my adoptive father. Im just wondering if anyone know a group (just like the AA group) for abused women where i could attend here in the philippines, specifically the manila area. I believe taht attending this kind of group would help me a lot. Thanks.

  23. Hi! I’m 34 and my problem is my older brother who’s leaving with us right now. He’s got 3 kids that i’m supporting right now. I want to know if there’s a case i can file against him. I want him out of my place since he’s jobless and is an add-on burden to me. add the fact that his kids are scared of him and gets a beating if his instructions are not followed. Creating a very nerve-wracking atmosphere in the house. Add the fact that i’m full with bills to pay for the household to run smoothly. need a good advise here. thanks.

  24. Hi! I’m 34 and my problem is my older brother who’s leaving with us right now. He’s got 3 kids that i’m supporting right now. I want to know if there’s a case i can file against him. I want him out of my place since he’s jobless and is an add-on burden to me. add the fact that his kids are scared of him and gets a beating if his instructions are not followed. Creating a very nerve-wracking atmosphere in the house. Add the fact that i’m full with bills to pay for the household to run smoothly. need a good advise here. thanks.

  25. Hi! I’m 34 and my problem is my older brother who’s leaving with us right now. He’s got 3 kids that i’m supporting right now. I want to know if there’s a case i can file against him. I want him out of my place since he’s jobless and is an add-on burden to me. add the fact that his kids are scared of him and gets a beating if his instructions are not followed. Creating a very nerve-wracking atmosphere in the house. Add the fact that i’m full with bills to pay for the household to run smoothly. need a good advise here. thanks.

  26. Me, my siblings and mom has been continuously been verbally, physically and emotionally abused by my dad. When we were just in the age of 11 through 18 he would go to our room and touch my sisters sexual body parts and leave the room after that but the saddest part of it is that he wasn’t just touching my youngest sister, he even sexually abused her to the point that it was more than touching. After all the verbal and physical abuse I was able to get out of the house and live on my own. I thought for a while that every thing was fine but then I was able to get wind that he was w/ another woman while my mom was working abroad. Everything went down hill to the point that he battered my eldest sister and she was all blue in the eye. Sad to say we didn’t do any thing because we don’t know what to do and these incident (the infidelity and my sister being battered) just happened last year. Last friday (April 27, 2012) we went to the province thinking that everything will be ok as my dad promised that he won’t do anything, but all are just promises. In the middle of the night he got drunk and started yelling and just hitting anybody who would go near him. My mom, brother and eldest sister were trying to hold him down so no one would get hurt but since he was so uncontrollable I had to help them out and eventually I was the one who got hit and he even scratched the upper part of my neck and it was deep. My mom doesn’t want to leave my dad so I had to tell my siblings to pack and we left the province. I don’t know what to do and I would really need some help especially because I know he is carrying a gun w/o permit and I am afraid that if these keeps on going there might come a time that he would be able to use that gun to kill anyone.

  27. hi im 35 years old single mom to two kids, im living with my parents, my problem is my father and two brothers. lagi kaming nagaaway nauuwi sa pangbubugbog nila..yearly na lang to nangyayari, police and baranggay here have nothing to do with it puro na lang blotter gang blotter na lang. they said its family problem di sila pwde papano naman ako. naulit uli last sunday lang May 13 mother’s day pa naman. dahil lang sa simpleng bagay nauwi uli sa mainitang sagutan napunta sa bugbugan..binasag pa nla mga gamit ko di pa nakuntento ng pananakit sakin nakuha pa akong ihulog sa hagdanan. saksi mga branggay tanod dito pero di naman nila inaresto tatay ko..pleaseeee help me hustisya ang hinihingi ko..wala akong pera di ako makapag pamedical kasi may bayad..mga pasa sa katawan ko di sapat kailangan daw may medical certificate..paulit ulit na lang ganito…pag walang pera kawawa ako ng binugbog ako pa gagastos. di ko na alam san ako hihingi ng tulong sa makati public attorney office ganun din kailangan ko daw ng medico legal…ilang araw na akong naglakad ng kaso mahuli lang sila at magtanda sa ginawa nila..asan na ang batas na nagpo protekta sa mga kababaihan? hindi nadadala tatay ko mga kapatid na lalaki sa ginagawa nilang pang bubugbog sakit dahil di nman sila inaaresto…walang kwenta ang baranggay at police dito po ako sa pembo makati…09157729870 po ang number ko please…urgent po ito…masakit na katwan ko sa lamog at naoperahan pa ako s breast..tapos hinulog sa hagdanan…tulungan nyo po ako…

  28. Date Oct. 21, 2012 .

    Hi I’m just newly married last June. But I have husband who has a very inappropriate weird behavior. He always does his worst and what could hurt me a lot considering I am a harmless type of person who always wanted harmony around, or I rarely make wrong things that would get us into fight. While him, he has no respect, he wants me to be like his puppet or a robot. We live with his parents. He so comfortable and reckless with his words and actions, which are abusive. He calls me tnaga, walang kwenta etc. (Sample incident)At times he gets mad because i didn’t let him use our money (wedding gift) be because he wanted to buy an e-cigarrette.He said “ayun lng hindn mo ko mapagbibigyan? ayaw mko pkismahan kht konti, pwes papahihirapan ko buhay mo hanngang sa umalis ka, nagsisi ko baket pa kita pinakasalan” (he’s nephew was able to witness what he said. This is his usual words everytime we have arguments.That incident happened just a day/ days after our wedding. Those are just sample incidents, and most of the time arguments are that worst. And more incidents happen , almost twice/ thrice a week, everyday.He’s instantly mad and irritated every time I go home coming from work. He verbally abuses , and very controlling sometimes humiliate me in his family with his words. He wouldn’t want me to know his spending (of which he also doesn’t give money to me as well, like a husband and wife thing) I use my own money. Most of the time he overspends in a day, of which he cannot explain.The only thing he would mention is when he ran out of money already. But he never tells or gives what he has earned. He is a government employee.He’s suspected to have extra marital affairs because of his unavailability, coldness, grumpy, and unexplained rudeness towards me.Plus by weekdays , he starts a fight when I go home , that during weekdays we rarely have contact. But his press release to his office mates, ninong/ ninang, friends, and family we were doing fine, and that we’re trying to make a baby, and that sometimes (on one occasion) he lies to his friends that he’s waiting for me , or he’ll pick me up from coming from office, but the truth was he texted me that night violently ( i was still in office) that he’s going out ( for a friend’s birthday)and that he wanted to go by himself only, from that text I’ve never heard of him that night until I got home (whether his leaving from the gathering or his home or not) (the I’m pertaining to is the house I’m living in right now- their house). But his press release to his friends was he was waiting for me and he was going to pick me up. He belittles & ridicule me a lot .I have a professional career in a company. He talks to me as if I don’t have brains or just, just animal, or a server – it was very inhumane.I can’t describe everything here , all details etc.these are just few samples of the incidents. I cannot explain how painful it is.I am mentally tortured honestly with his actions , his treatment towards me. Knowing we are just newly married. My cousins and mama said the problem was too early for me/ us to experience that . We were married both in judge and in church.He wasn’t even forced to marry me. He proposed end of last year. What do I do? I know this is very painful but I know I am not the only one who suffers this. This kind of domestic violence/ situation has to stop.I am not battered , but I can say I am mentally and emotionally tortured. Even his parents cannot control him with his behavior. I need help please.

  29. I chanced upon this article since I am seeking how to help a stranger who is pleading for help in Facebook. She is only 19 just had a baby and suffered a stroke just after birth. She is constantly abuse by her common law husband beating her up and insulting her. She is asking for my help and the only thing I can do is to refer her to something or agency that can help her. I hope and pray that she will be strong enough to escape with her child the cruelty of her live in partner. Hopefully very soon.

  30. i have been suffering off anxieties for the past 3 years caused by my husband uttering bad words and “panlalait” s akin, paano po ako nyo matutulungan sa situation ko… hiwalay kami almost 3 weeks now at walang usapan….hirap na po kalooban ko at isip ko…pls help me…salamat po

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