The mean-spirited blogger

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Update: I wrote this post on April 11, 2008 because there were  mean comments supposedly written by my husband, my daughter or myself. Yes, someone assumed the name of my husband, or my daughter. The mean spirited bloggers and commenters have been around since the internet started. I want to share what it was like in 2008 when facebook was not yet that big as it is today . There are now 50 million facebook users in the Philippines.

mean spirited blogger

I just read nasty comments attacking a friend of mine. That blog is not a healthy place. Once you go against the negative mentality of the community, you are attacked. Unhealthy people gravitate towards negative energy. That same negative energy attracts more negative energy at such exponential rate, than positive attracts positive. Where there is negative energy in abundance, a gang is created. Once formed, they support each other to target anyone who are not within their frame of mind.

Group meanness is even more fun because of the team spirit.

Do you think these mean-spirited last long in the blogosphere? (By definition, mean-spirited means Having or characterized by a malicious or petty spirit.) Unless they have nothing better to do, have lots of energy and motivation behind them, the mean spirits tend to fizzle out one day. Most mean-spirited folks get the thrill of hurting people by posting nasty comments and the occasional mean blog post. I’ve had my share of being called “demonic” names. I tried to settle amicably with this person but instead my email was posted on their blog leaving out a teensy significant detail why my daughter got mixed up in her tirades towards me. I thought by now it’s been settled but six months has elapsed and what do I discover? My monicker is being used in blog comments trying to make it appear that I posted “nasty” comments. How malicious and petty! Move on, shall we?

Let’s not bother why these people act the way they do. I just know that Hurt people hurt people.

So how do you respond to the mean-spirited blogger or commenter? Lorelle lists down tips on how to deal with these mean spirits in her entry, Mean Spirited Comments and Blogging

There are two choices when faced with a mean-spirited blogger: Respond or Not Respond. Both have risks.

Whichever choice you decide, do not move on your first impulse.

There’s something else you need to consider before you make a decision. Many hateful bloggers want your reaction. If they get a strong enough reaction, you might blog about them. Some trolls use inflammatory comments to attract attention to themselves and their blog. I think of this as the ““Howard Stern Effect”. The more outrageous people are, the more curious people are about them. If you feel their actions are just a device to get your attention and the attention of others, for good or bad reasons, put that into the formula before you decide which way you want to respond.

To my dear friend. There is no place to hide from nasty people in the blogosphere. Bloggers address varied opinions and wisdom to the world but negative responses are bound to happen from such entries. I told you that bloggers agree to disagree in a healthy manner. These come in the form of criticisms, but others come out mean-spirited, malicious and petty. I know you are discouraged now to blog. It’s quite disheartening to think about the dark side of blogging, but if you intend to be a serious blogger, you need a thick skin to last a lifetime of blogging.

See my thick skin?

As Lorelle said “Don’t let them beat you down. Stay focused and clear headed. If you purposely inspire negative reactions, then run with it. Enjoy getting what you asked for. If you don’t and get smacked, think it through, respond with care, and keep on blogging.”

Remember there are more people who care about you than that mean spirited community. You don’t want to be mixing with them.

Have you been the target of mean-spirited bloggers? What did you do about it?

 

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1391 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.