Should parents be taught sex education?

      15 Comments on Should parents be taught sex education?

Updated: Includes curated tweets during a discussion last April 21, 2012

sex-education““I tell people —You don’t want to talk to your child about your kids’ sex education. Well therefore, your child will learn sex through billboards, through internet, through magazine, through exploitative media outlets. Good luck. I talk to my children about sex because I rather they hear it from me from anyone else”, Pia Cayetano told us in Blog Watch just before the elections.

Take note, our bishops say that sex education should be left to the parents but welcomes teaching about it in college. The bishops think that sex education in public elementary and high schools may encourage promiscuity and early sexuality outside the sacrament of matrimony. In the proposed Reproductive Health Bill , sex education has been amended ““Parents shall exercise the option of not allowing their minor children to attend classes pertaining to Reproductive Health and Sexuality Education.”

Sex education starts when our children are young. A mother told me that she wished she had taught her pregnant 18 year old daughter about sex. Her daughter thought she would never get pregnant in her first sexual experience. Another mom expressed her frustration:

They are bombarded by sexual messages from all sides of their life, and parents have to take an even bigger role now to provide them with balance. I want my girls to see their sexuality in a healthier light than I did, without all the misconceptions and guilt that came with it. It’s hard finding a balance between wanting them to be able to enjoy their sexuality without being ashamed of it, but also accept and be accountable to the responsibility that comes with it.

Ang_mungo, a young father said in twitter that

Sex ed needs to be taught in the context of values, of relationships and love. Otherwise, it will just be another biology lesson.

The focus of sex ed must be on responsibility, on consequences, and on the happiness it can bring two people who love each other.

My stand on sex education is

Sex education is about developing young people’s skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices.

The schools together with the parents can bridge the gap of sex education but there seems to be a problem when the parents also have a lack of knowledge on reproductive health. We can’t assume parents know how to discuss sex openly. Some might be uneducated to understand the anatomy of reproduction and thus fail to grasp natural birth control methods.

The problem is do parents know how to teach sex education to their pre-teen children?

Children should only be taught by qualified teachers on sex education. Department of education said that intensive training will be given to teachers. Parents should also know what the school is teaching their kids. Is there a need for parent sexual education? I am sure parents will appreciate that.

What do you think?

Here is part of our twitter discussion on Twitter:

Photo: “mgo-00760 World Bank” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1354 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

  • yes! parents and schools should partner together to equip each other with the right techniques to teach sex ed to kids. i guess it starts with the mutual acceptance that kids are so much more “active” today and are bombarded with all sorts of info that it would be best to hear the truth first hand from those they trust.

    i remember when i was in high school, our sex ed consisted of our teacher scaring us with urban myths. i hated that. it was a wasted opportunity and the kids knew better anyway so we never took the class seriously.
    .-= neva | manilamommy´s last blog ..Our Kindermusik Experience =-.

    • I hated the guilt trip too so I made sure to tell my girls the consequences of their behavior. I gave them all the possible scenarios.

  • as for the parents, i believe it is the churches’ responsibility to initiate sessions for parents concerning sex education.

    some christian churches already conduct conferences about parenthood and family. it wouldn’t hurt adding some lectures about sex ed.
    .-= siyetehan//joyagustin´s last blog ..Campaign Drive =-.

    • Roland

      What??? Church and responsibility for sex-education? Are you serious? There is only one thing they teach: abstinence. And that is completely bad for your health and free growth.

      • i’m serious, thank you.

        maybe you are only referring to the catholic church, and my friend, catholic church is not the lone church in the Philippines.

        another thing, I have said that it is the reponsibility of the church. maybe it is not what they do at the moment, but it is their responsibility.

        there is a big difference to that.
        .-= siyetehan//joyagustin´s last blog ..I-bagsak!!! I-bagsak!! =-.

        • Reminds me of the seminar I had to go through before marriage. I remember one church official telling a bride-to-be that “When your husband wants sex, you have no choice but to give in.”

          @_@
          .-= Joel´s last blog ..Splendid Breakfast Buffet At The Marriot Cebu =-.

  • karen

    The media should also self-regulate and be responsible on what they show to young ones nowadays. Sa totoo lang, most young actors and actresses now wala naman talent. Puro pacute at partner-partner lang ang ginagawa ng mga TV networks sa knila.

    May mga soap opera portraying 14-year-old pregnant moms, Kim Chiu portrays a role of wife to Gerald ANderson to a current soap in ABS CBN now. I even saw her say something like “Asawa ko….”

    And they are idolized by many teens. That gives impression that being pregnant and in marriage at a very young age is cool.

  • Roland

    Strapping a condome on a penis like shown on the picture, but with a fake-wodden-penis of course ;-), isn’t easy and you can scratch it and make serious damage to it (so you are no longer protected against H.I.V., tripper/gonorrhea and many other sexual transmitted diseases), or STDs for short. To give a good example, the penis must be “hard” else you cannot strap it on.

    This is the most reason to go to these lessons and parents should really know about it. Remember, H.I.V. cannot be healed! We have no cure against it. But here comes the religion, I don’t finger-point on them at this point, which says that condomes are “Not God’s Will” (not my saying, that’s why I quote it). Okay, off-topic a little. 🙂

    Sex educational lessons should also contain a biological part, like what the Uterus is, what the Vagina is and D.N.A. and all that others is about.

    So my vote is a definite “Yes”. Parents should not limit their children, but should teach them (plus the school lessons) about the consequences having unprotected sex, like that the girl will maybe become pregnant, have to take responsibility and many other consequences more (STDs!). But of course not in the way that their children will become affraid about sex. 🙂

    My 2 Euro-Cents…

    • Roland

      It shall say “wooden”.

  • Hi po!

    i happened to watch the news regarding this topic last night. and i’m eager sana to tackle this in one of my blogs (hoshilandia.com or kwentotpaniniwalanihitokirihoshi.wordpress.com) soon. pero it’s nice to spot POVs from parents here.

    i’m single po and i believe na it’s good that there’s definite sex education sa school. kaya lang someone from the government’s side( si DepEd sec ata) said kahit yong mga Kindergarten puwede na. I think sa ganoong stage, its too early naman ata.

    what’s your opinion in that? sex education for kindergarten students?

  • Roland

    @hoshi: I got when I was in 6th/7th class if I recall it correctly. Then I must be 12/14 years old around. 🙂 We surely all laughed when that topic started… 😀 When you want to see (not me on picture) here is my school where I had sex education: http://www.kgse.de/

  • As parents, I agree that we should be knowledgeable in this subject matter so we can teach and guide our children effectively. My children are still very young to know about this sex education things but when the right time comes (children entering high school), I want to open the subject matter to them.

    Regarding teaching sex education to pre-schoolers, I’m not comfortable with the idea. Let children enjoy first their childhood years with their innocence.

  • Emi

    A lot of people freak out about teaching sex ed to children, but I think it helps to imagine what age appropriate sex ed can be for different ages groups. For pre-schoolers, parents can teach their children the proper names for their body parts to show that there doesn’t need to be shame about those parts. In school, they can teach boundary setting. There is a successful program where I live (in the U.S.) that teaches little kids songs and exercises about saying no to people you don’t know touching you. Parents love it because it’s a difficult topic to talk about. Parents don’t want to scare their children, but they also want to keep them safe.

    They have age-appropriate boundary setting and relationship skills classes for little kids up through high school. By the time these kids get to high school they will have developed much more fluency about resisting peer pressure, maintaining bodily integrity and making informed decisions about when to have sex.

  • Emi

    Hello! I’m a new reader to this blog. I think the topics Noemi talks about are really interesting!

    I wanted to make a comment about “sex education” for younger children. A lot of people freak out about this topic, but I challenge people to imagine what age appropriate “sex education” could be. For very young children, it might be as simple as parents teaching them the proper names for their body parts and answering questions about how their bodies work (children are fascinated by bodily functions at this age – why not lay the ground work for future age appropriate discussions?). There is a program in the city where I live that schools can bring in to teach children about boundary setting. They learn songs and exercises about their right to bodily integrity and what to do if someone tries to touch them inappropriately. Parents love it because they want their children to be safe, but also don’t want to scare them.

  • I think and I believe sex education should be taught both at home and in school. Children should be taught about their sexuality, about the value of their bodies, not just their souls. This can be done in an open and free discussion devoid of malice, taboo, and prejudices. But before any parent or any teacher can do this, parents and teachers must first be taught how to teach these things objectively.