The Role of the Wife: Helper

housewife.jpgMy husband and I attended the third session of the Biblical Portrait of Marriage. The topic for the night was : Helper- The Role of the Wife. Helper means as in the one who assists, encourages and supports her husband. Not katulong (the literal translation of helper in Tagalog)

To our amazement, there were 2 biblical principles that we re-discovered that night. We only learned this after Pastor Larry finished his lecture.

Surprise! Surprise!

Me first!

The key priority of the wife is her husband, not her work, ministry or child. Somewhere along the way, I thought the children were the first priority because of their young age and innocence. Hubby can easily fend for himself, I thought. I was so wrong. Maybe I didn’t know how to balance my act. Only when the kids left for college did I re-focus energies on my husband. Well, it’s never too late. It’s precisely the reason that husbands are the first priority because children leave some day and we are left with each other . We’re even experiencing the semi-empty nest syndrome these days. The mere fact we’re attending a bible study on [tag]marriage[/tag] means we continue to strengthen our relationship as husband and wife.

And my husband’s discovery…

The wife is to actively “manage the house” under her husband’s authority. Remember how I mentioned that he is my co-homemaker. Hah, now he knows that managing the household is my duty. I think he grew up with the notion that a husband’s duty include management of the household. No wonder he takes on my job to do the grocery, plan the menu or what not. I let him be that way because he loves doing it. Lately, he’s been buying these home improvement magazines like “Real Homes” to plan on the interiors of our new home . I believe some men are gifted with home maker roles. We learned that in a healthy marriage, the wife should actively manage the house. Maybe after this session, he will give me free reign of my kitchen. hehe. I don’t mind.

Behind every great man there’s a great woman… and a

surprised mother-in-law (another entry some day) *wink*

Speaking of husband, I received this email forward “Spouse from God” which might be interesting read for you:

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, “You don’t own because you didn’t ask” God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful. I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about.

As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse. One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart: “My servant, I cannot give you what you want.”

I asked, “Why God?” and God said “Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right.”

I asked “God, I don’t understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?”

God answered, “I will explain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your ownself. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive;however, you are very insensitive….”

He then said to me: “It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one. Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long span education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow together”

This is for all: the recently married, the ones who have been married, the soon to get married,and the ones who are still looking.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1346 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

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  • http://niceheart.wordpress.com niceheart

    “The key priority of the wife is her husband, not her work, ministry or child.” – This reminds me of a New York Post article written by a wife who claims that she loves her husband more than her children and there was a big debate about it. Because almost everybody’s reaction is how could she? I think when we start having children, it’s our instinct to focus on the children since as you have mentioned, they are young and helpless and very dependent. We focus on the children so much sometimes even to the detriment of the husband up to the point of them feeling neglected. But what I found interesting is that this writer explained that her husband is very hands-on with the kids. Her husband helps her and so she has time to focus on him too. Not a lot of husbands are like that. Don’t you think?

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    I think we should love our husband and children just as equally. My mistake was not giving enough couple time with my husband because I didn’t want to leave the little kids at home. I felt I neglected my husband but I am making amends now. Not a lot of husbands help the wife in household matters so maybe the wife responds to her husband so lovingly.

  • http://twitter.com/bmosley1 Byron Mosley

    Me and my wife are getting married and we need some Christian advice. I heard about this book by an author named Janet Channel, who wrote a book “Husband’s Helper”. Has anyone heard of this book and where I might find it?