What is the Worst Pain Ever?

You think any pain is worse than the pain of losing a child? Whatever words you hurl at me mean nothing to me. Be grateful, you are alive…that your family is intact. Don’t waste your energy on me. Life is so beautiful to waste it on negative energies.

I’ve known pain worse than you’ll ever imagine. So eat your words out. They are trivial and foolish.

One of the ambiguous gifts of pain (and they are ambiguous: they are gifts and I would never have chosen them) is that it enlarges our perspective. Petty complaints, internet trolls and the mean-spirited are fleeting annoyances. They are not something to dwell for a long time. People with whom I thought I had nothing in common are now my special friends. Vocational prowess drops down on the list of life’s priorities. Relationships are what matter.

I feel profoundly and gratefully connected to friends and family. I have a sense that all of us dwell in mystery, that we are connected to the earth and sky and to the rhythm of the universe.

I trust all will be well.

Asides….

What’s Your Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Story Contest– Starts April 18

Win a trip to Hollywood, Los Angeles, USA for 4 days and 3 nights, with accommodations and pocket money. How? Join the What’s your Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Story? Contest. Submission of entries will be from April 18 to May 18, 2008. The contest starts tomorrow, April 18.

Food Tour at Trinoma Malls, Serendra and Bonifacio High Street

When: April 25 at TriNoma Mall and and April 28 at Serendra and Bonifacio High Street

Time: 2:00 PM to 6:00 PM

Read more details at Spot Pass Bloggers’ Food Tour

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1346 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

The comments posted on my blog are moderated. I reserve the right to remove comments, words or phrases that are defamatory, abusive, incite hatred and advertise an email address or commercial services or just plain spammy. I also reserve the right to remove posts that to my opinion are off-topic, irrelevant, ad-hominem, personal attacks and or just plain rude.
  • http://merrymar.multiply.com manny

    thanks for the headsup on the show. Brian is really on the news these days.

  • http://yahoo36.com susan

    There are so many blogger events. The prize is quite generous. I will try my luck

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @manny- Brian totally raised the awareness of the diversity of blogs

    @susan- write your story. who knows you will win!

  • http://zahflo.blogspot.com lisaflor

    Sabi nga ng great grandmother ko, losing a child (even if the “child” is already 60 yo and the mother is 90+) is the most painful of all. She said that after her two (old) sons died in a span of 6 months. She is a widow, an orphan and the last among the siblings to pass away… It is enough for me to know that fact. Ayoko nang patunayan pa. 🙂

    Anyway, on pain, tama kayo, there is life after pain. In my experience, I was able to “filter ’em out” and only maintain friendships with those who stood by me. I thank God for the healing, because I still remember the pain, but the hatred is slowly fading. I hope we all get to “heal”.

    lisaflor’s last blog post..Office Yaya

  • http://frommymindtoyoureyes.i.ph Jim

    Thanks for this post. 🙂
    -http://frommymindtoyoureyes.i.ph/

    Jim’s last blog post..GMA to air Climate-Change docu “Signos”

  • 2bout

    I guess there’s nothing more painful than losing a child. Children should bury their parents. But if it’s the other way around things are lot more different and the pain is not easy to bear. Sometimes I feel it’s a kind of pain that will never heal. A hole in the heart that will never be patched ever again.

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @lisaflor- That’s good to know. The bitterness softens through time. We all heal in our time.

    @2bout- Yes there is a hole. It patches up in time. the wound will always be there like a scar. Sometimes we scratch it and it gets sore again. Such is grief

  • http://coffeeandblunder.com venice

    well, for a moment i was speechless… i realized like how sometimes i tell my friends when we talk about fears and pain, i tell ’em gusto ko mauna akong mamatay kesa sa nanay ko. i say it because, i’m too dependent on my mum and i love her so much… that i dont know what i’ll do when she’s gone. i guess saying that is very selfish of me…. ‘never realized that till now. =(

    venice’s last blog post..we dodged the ?bullet?

  • http://scarty.com scart

    bakit ako hindi ko parin makalimutan ang baby ko. nawala sya after a month i gave birth to her. i blame myself and i blame all the doctors and nurses who diagnose her. its been 3 years and yet i still cry for it. i’m able to temporary forget about it by diverting my mind into other things. i hope i ‘ll be heal too…

    scart’s last blog post..Hello World! I’m Freya Ysabel!

  • http://aboutmyrecovery.com Noemi

    @venice- just hug your mom. We go through crisis now and then and we learn from it.

    @scart- blame is part of the grief process. No matter how long ago the death took place, we never forget the love for our child. The pain eases but it does not go away. We learn to live with the pain. Love never goes away. We hurt because we loved deeply. Healing is find that new normal without our child.

  • http://dine.racoma.com.ph sexy mom

    true Noemi, i have seen and i have felt how painful it was and is still–seeing my son and DIL. losing a grandchild is painful enough, and i know that the pain does not compare with that of my son and DIL.

    sexy mom’s last blog post..The Nick Joaquin Biography

  • http://jayme.passiotive.com Jayme

    Just the thought of being separated from my babies is enough to make me cry. I don’t even want to imagine how I would feel when I lose them. True, life is such a wonderful blessing and, no matter what pain or challenges it hurls our way, we should focus on the good things and always be grateful. 🙂

    Jayme’s last blog post..Separation anxiety and being a stay at home mom

  • http://www.healblog.net/ Heal

    Yes it’s true a baby is the biggest step in our life… can change people and make miracles. I’m new to this blog but your posts are rare good 😉 Keep it up!

    Heal’s last blog post..White Teeth Obtained by Natural Methods are the Key to Success

  • http://geri.tabulas.com geri

    Noemi, just thinking how I love my son I just can’t imagine it is to lose a child. It would be the worst pain ever, I agree. You are an inspiration to moms and parents who are experiencing what you have been through.

    geri’s last blog post..Long Weekend in Madison

  • jhelo143

    I agree with you guys. I witnessed how my mom still mourns for my 33-year old bro after he died 1 yr.ago, aside from the fact that he was the eldest among us 3sibs, and being a blue baby we consider him special. I couldn’t just stand seeing her pretending to be happy when obviously she’s not. I wish i could do something to ease her pain… totally.

  • imie

    alam nyo po ma’m, nagbuntis po ate ko 9 months nya dinala c baby, but unfortunately hindi pala cya para sa amin.. nun nanganak ang ate ko, papunta palang sila sa hospital dinugo na siya, pagdating sa hospital nun inilabas na ang baby patay na.. up to know alam ko nasasaktan ang ate ko sa nangyari. namatay ang baby niya because of pre eclampsia daw sabi ng OB niya. Gusto ko tulungn ang ate ko para kahit papano makalimot o mabawasan un pain na hanggang ngayon dinadala niya, kaso hindi ko alam kung pano siya matulungan eh.