When Kids Hear Their Parents having Sex

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parents having sex

Parents, are you sure your kids don’t hear you when you are having sex?

I came across my daughter’s forum a 12 years ago on “have you heard your parents having sex” and their thoughts on their parents having sex.

We learn a lot from our children. It never occurred to me that our kids think we have no sex life. Just because we have reached our 40’s doesn’t mean sex life is over. I found their candid answers quite helpful and amusing. Remember, these are teens’ opinions from all over the world.

The forum question was:

I have never heard my parents have sex, and I’m pretty sure they don’t anymore. What about the rest of you? Do you ever hear them?

The replies from my daughter’s online friends who were then in their teens:

1. No. hehe. But I think it’s sweet that parents still have that passion and affection for each other.

2. I think it’s horrid enough hearing them talk about it…

3. i don’t really want to imagine parents having sex. but i hope that when i reach their stage, i would still have sex. it sucks to have no sex life.

4. Oh Lordy… I have walked in on my dad and my mom…a few years later.. I walked in on my dad and my stepmom..and I’ve heard them many, many… MANY times. There should be a law or something..

5. I’ve heard them before, really shouldn’t sleep in the bedroom right beside theirs…

6. lol. well, i would be glad that they still have sex. it’s so good they’re so loving. but i really don’t want to think about it.

7. as their kids, there are some things we just don’t need to know! and it just seems perfectly fine when we do it, no?

8. we have double standards when it comes to sex.

9.Never heard them.
Never walked in on them.
Never want to.

I’d like to thank the people who made our walls as thick as they can be for having never experienced such a horrific thing. And I knew my parents were having sex because there’s a 12 year gap between me & my next sibling!

10. I walked in on my mom and dad…and I saw more than any child should. I have walked in on my mom and step-dad as well. Funny thing is…I’ve only walked in when they were making babies in the living room. I still have the scars. Oh, and I’ve heard them a few times to. So yeah, I know my parents are still “active”.

11. i hope i’ll still be living a life full of passion and romance at that age. i wouldn’t want to be all dried up like some grandmas.

12. No, my mother and father aren’t very affectionate. And my mother sleeps with my younger brother rather than my father. sheesh. I don’t want to witness the act, but they could at least treat each other like they’re actually a couple, no?

13. i don’t think my parents do it anymore either. but one time when i was younger, i swore i caught them one saturday morning because i just busted into their room to go sleep next to them.. but i think i’m blocking that memory into some dream i had or something, haha.

14. I used to hear them .. when I was little. Not anymore. On a popular radio station called K92.. well.. popular over here… They had a special called, “Grandparents Do IT To” it was halarious.

15. I ‘ve heard it. No big deal. Frankly I’m more disturbed when I don’t hear anything. My parents aren’t aliens and I like to be constantly reassured of that fact.

16. Yes I have it was embarrassing they obviously didn’t know I was home. It was horrible my mom was talking really dirty.

17. I’ve heard my dad and my stepmother but never my mom and stepfather. I was going downstairs in the middle of the night to get a magazine I had left and I over heard them and I just scurried upstairs before anything more happened that I didn’t want to see or hear. I laughed to myself though thinking… dad still has it going on… good for him! LOL

Besides, there will be pleny of payback when I bring my girlfriend/wife home for the holidays some time in the future.

18. Nope, never heard my parents doing it…. They probably do it when I’m not around.

Now it’s my turn to say my piece on this. First of all, I don’t think my kids have ever heard us having sex. Reply number 18 is more like it. Hehe. Second, the only encounter close to sex was when one of my daughters overheard her dad say to me “it’s been awhile since we ****” (that four letter word verb…shocking) . My daughter was on her way to my room at that time. I forgot my reply to my husband but I hope I wasn’t talking dirty. Not knowing she overheard her dad, I wondered why she pushed the door and tugged my hand , “Let’s now go to the salon”. Then at the salon, “mom it’s really traumatic to hear dad asking you to have sex”.

I just had to laugh “at least we are still loving to each other. Don’t you like that?”

My daughter pouted “it’s very disturbing. Sex is for young people”

I smiled “Sex is a loving expression for couples, young and old. Especially married couples. Just learn to be cautious when you approach the door to our room”

As a young child, I often wondered why my parents required us to knock at their door. Now I realized that they also had an active sex life.

Yes children (as I know I have young readers), your parents still have an active sex life. How active? It depends, of course. Just because we are reaching 40 or 50 does not exempt us from having a healthy sex life. And the older one gets the better it becomes.

I know “ewww.” *nods*

What have I learned from their replies?

1. Parents, it’s fine to espouse sex education to our kids, if you’re comfortable with the topic.

2. Sex education doesn’t mean talking about our sex life to them.

3. It’s alright to show affection to our spouse . At least our kids know we are loving to each other.

4. It’s not okay for our kids to hear us having sex. We have to learn to lock our doors or ensure thicker walls to our rooms, and other privacy measures as some kids can get shocked.

Photo via 10000besides.com

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1389 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.