Old Fashioned Parenting Style: What’s in or what’s still in?

I was laughing when I saw a comment on my entry, Computer Game and Internet Addiction

i also believe that you are a old-fashioned and controlling parent. times have changed.

The above comment is partially true . I am an old fashioned parent, a child of old fashioned parents but the difference is I have adapted to the times. Old fashion parenting style never goes out of fashion. Part of the parenting style needs some control of the environment our children live. Can you imagine if I allowed my children to be online 5 hours a day or watch TV all afternoon? Call me an old fashion parent if that’s the case. True, times have changed and I have my own definition of “what’s in” and “what’s out” in parenting style.

What’s in or what’s still in

1. Instill parental guidance and discipline of young kids age twelve years old and below. This is true for TV, movies, internet, games, books. Unfortunately, not all of what children learn from TV is beneficial. TV programs often present a very selective view of life, with glamor in stark contrast to the real people children come into contact with. Remember that 7 year old boy that shot his yaya (babysitter) a few years ago? The young boy was watching his favorite TV show depicting violence when the caregiver told him to turn it off. In the kids rage, he got his dad’s gun and shot his babysitter.

2. Raise children with imagination and curiosity. Nowadays, when we enter the toy store , we see an array of toys that require batteries, have flashing lights or look like your child’s favorite movie character. We still need to fill our houses with some of the following old-fashioned items like : books, felt boards, musical instruments, blocks and legos, art supplies, kitchen play, puppets to mention a few.

3. When children hit adolescence, we should allow them to express their feelings and reach a compromise. They also need to know this is the rule today and it’s not going to change tomorrow. Consistency is really important to our children. With our girls, we set rules on party curfew times, the age when they can go dating (age 16), telephone limits, study time and household responsibilities. My husband had some difficulty adjusting to the teens fashion. Anything without a sleeve was deemed “slutty”.

Now what’s out?

1. Punishment is out of fashion. During my childhood days, my mother planted a guava tree for the purpose of using the guava branch for whipping us when we were naughty. According to her, a guava branch is resilient. Ugh, I remember those days when mom would holler to the maid “Get the guava branch.” I remember trembling like a quivering guava leaf whenever I’d hear those harsh words. I can’t remember our offense now but the welt marks often left blood streaks on our legs. I could barely walk when that happened. It is a cruel punishment and even as a kid, I found no logic in this. Sometimes mom would pinch us for minor offenses. Another variation is using the belt or slipper. This type of punishment is terribly old fashioned. I don’t know if parents of my generation use this type of physical punishment.

2. “Children are meant to be seen not heard” is outdated. During parties or occasion, some old folks separate the children from the adults. On one occasion, one of my daughters fumed after an uncle kept asking her opinion on a local star’s talent. She wished that her relatives would ask more thought-provoking questions on current issues, on her studies, hopes and ambitions.

There is more to this list of good old parenting style. I’m sure you have your own list. One thing remains: Old fashioned parenting style of love, guidance and discipline never changes with the time.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1385 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

  • my daughter is 16 and i can’t even let her go on dates yet… guess i’m too old fashioned a parent? 🙂

    • steven

      I feel the same way, i have a 15 year old very attractive daughter whom i have tried to protect from dating, but my ex seems to think it is normal for her to date a fellow who is 2 years older than her! ugh! Where has parenting gone these days, i have no power because she lives with hewr mother, and ya know what they say “mother knows best”

  • @rhodora- I also didn’t allow my girls to have a boyfriend below age 16.

  • Mildred

    My daughter is 15 and she is obsessed with peircings and tatoos! which i think is outrageous! I dont see why she cant be happy with her body how it is. she doesnt need these things to look ‘hip’ and ‘trendy’ because they’re not!! She will damage her body and i strongly disagree with this! She thinks im unfashionable and out of date but im not! im just a concerned parent looking out for my daughter.

    I also think it is wrong to let her wear any kind of make-up til she is the age of 30.

    She is also not allowed out past 7:30pm, and must stay on one side of the street. She is forbidden to cross the road.

    She is not allowed to drink fizzy pop or anything with E numbers in it because i cant control her.

    I refuse to let her round the corner of the street, she must be in my sight at all times.

    Do you agree with my parenting styles? Reply please. I would like to know what you think.

    • bob

      well i think that tatoos and piercings are horrible too except maybe her ears and depending on your choice, maybe her belly button.
      Fizzy pop is disgusting as I agree although if you cannot control her only let her drink it once a day.
      She is 15 and is not a baby any more so I think that you should at least let her cross the road and stay out a little later than 7.30 unless it is dark when it might be dangerous, although, it depends on where you live.
      Again it might depend on where you live but you don’t have to have her in your sight every minute of every day you may love her to pieces but she needs independance.
      Considering the make-up until the age of 30!? I’m sorry but that is a little unfair and i’m sure many will agree. i can understand your concern now but when she is a little older make up will be fine as long as she doesn’t make herself completely and utterly fake.

      I hope this helps although it is only my opinion as a mother.

  • jenna

    tattoos and peirsings are something she will get over, however if you dont let her breathe a little it will come back to you. My friends mom was like that she never let her do ANYTHIGN nevwe come to parties or anything and it made her crazy when she got freedom as soon as she turned 18 she became a HUGE slut. as for the makeup thats a bit extreme as is the road thing c’mon shes 15 shes not 8

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  • Timothy Dean

    I love your blogs, very simple yet honest and inspiring. I also agree with applying tough love towards my kids since being too lenient with them is never permitted by me. I see to it that they understood the house rules and includes curfews and parties. One thing though that I learned is I get to know my kids friends and invite them over because I prefer my children at home rather than going anywhere that I’m not aware of. As much as possible I let them know that I’m their friend but reprimand them whenever needed. It’s still important to make it clear to them that you’re still their parent, other than being their friend. This blog is an interesting read, I hope parents like me will find it helpful. Thanks for sharing your awesome blogs.