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Grief

Preparing for life and death

When I first saw the accidental drowning photos from Sidney’s My Sari Sari Store, it looked surreal to me. For some reason, the photo of the dead boy didn’t shock me. Yes, I felt a twinge of sadness. Not that I’m a cold hearted person. That’s because I’ve seen the death of my own child. What is the worst photo or image one could possibly imagine? The image of my son’s limp body haunted my mind for at least 3 years after his death. Sometimes I prayed to God to give me amnesia to stop these images from playing over and over again.

Today I can look back at that exact moment when my son was given CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) without the raw pain wrenching my heart. How did it feel like?

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A memorial site for deceased MySpace users

MyDeathSpace.com memorializes deceased MySpace.com users and picks up where
a regular obituary leaves off. I don’t know how their deaths can be verified. When you click their myspace profiles, one can see that someone logged in recently. Maybe their ghost updated their profile? Or perhaps, family members were able to get their password. My friend’s 20 year old son died recently and she was able to acquire his [tag]myspace[/tag] login information through the help of friends. She plans to create a memorial website for him.

Looking at the cause of death of these young kids, all of it are Sudden, Accidental or Traumatic Deaths. How sad ! Automobile Accident ranks as the number one cause of death. Others like Auto-Pedestrian Accident, being shot, suicide, drug overdose, alcohol poisoning or alcohol-related, drunk driving are just a few common ones then followed by unusual causes like:

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Grief support in the Philippines

Grief is not exclusive for those who have lost a child , a parent or sibling. In life we experience so many losses such as loss of job, money, health , a love affair and other things. The grief process is universal to us all. We go through stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

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As a bereaved mother, I reach out to other grief support groups and counsellors in the Philippines. There were no support groups or grief therapists in the year 2000. I tried to start the Compassionate Friends that year but the USA group appeared lukewarm to my email. On hindsight, I was not ready to be an effective organizer considering that my pain was still so fresh and new.

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9 year old dies from swallowing pencil shavings

Child abuse can happen right inside the classroom. I just saw this news item on ABS CBN news: Mabel, a 9 year old girl from Silangan Elementary School, in Taguig died after allegedly being made to swallow pencil shavings by her teacher. According to her classmates their teacher thought Madel was the one who had scattered pencil shaving and was punished for it.

This news report Pupil, made to swallow pencil shavings, dies added that:

Although there was no autopsy, acute tonsillitis and asphyxiation pneumonia due to the extreme swelling of throat were stated as the official cause of death.

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We need not walk alone

I had the craziest schedule ever. It would have been alright if not for this stuffy nose and sneezing fits.

8:30 to 10:00 AM At the sanctuary of St. Peter’s Basilica, I attended the 40 day mass for Jullian Elaine “Apple” Book (yes pronounced as book). I barely made it. The mass originally scheduled at 10:00 AM was moved to 9:00 AM. I was still in Makati at 8:30AM so I drove quickly and arrived in time for the last part of the mass.

apple

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My First TV interview

I woke up in tears this morning.

I dreamt that I was kissing and embracing my son, Luijoe. In my dream, he smiled and smirked as I smacked him on the lips and cheeks. Waves of happiness filled me. Joy lifted my heart. I felt like a white balloon, floating in bliss.

Then “POP POP”

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a mom blogger who advocates constructive engagement in issues on family & society.
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