Today, we are 35 years married We’ve been technically together for 42 years (including the seven years as steadies) . Wow, we have gone a long, long way. My hubby and I are just by ourselves,  the past six years ever since our children lived independently from us. It is just the two of us.  Most of the time it is nice and dandy, but there are times we get into each other’s nerves. He does not like it when I end up going home late from my events. I also tend to snap when I am tired.  These are the moments to just back off, and stay cool.   I’ve learned to detach  with love after 35  years of marriage. So when it is my husband’s issue, I follow recovery principles. I have practiced these over the past ten years or so. I wished I had learned these sooner.

I remember the FOUR C’s. I know I am not the CAUSE of his problems. I have no CONTROL over his problems. I cannot CURE it. Knowing that I have no CONTROL over people, places and things, the only remedy to the situation is a CHANGE of my attitude. It took a lot of practice. My strategy is always to be gentle with myself. It’s useless beating myself over it. If I have to, I will beat myself with a feather. It was only in 2005 that I learned about self-care. I take care of myself by going to facial salons, exercising at the gym, meditation, laughing and pampering myself. Facials are important to me because I don’t like to have worry lines on my face. It’s also quite relaxing and calms my mind. Exercise gives me the endorphins to stay high with happy hormones. It’s working well and when friends see me, they think I have a “nice aura” around me. Little do they know, that hubby and I just had a time-out. Hehe.

my husband and I

During one of those “cool” moments a few years ago, I received an email from my dear hubby. (See, he now communicates via email)

Dear Noyt,

An interesting article about Chat Silayan. I love you.

Your husband,


Chat Silayan is his high school batch mate and as you all know, she died of Colon cancer in 2006.

Anyway, I digress. The email was an article, “Whole Again” written on April 16, 2003, wherein Chat Silayan-Bailon shares the lessons she’s learned after 10 years of marriage. Part of the article is about….


This December 30th, my husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary.Looking back, I sometimes say, ““Wow, how did we get this far?” Especially when I remember our fights, which so escalated that we had to see a marriage counselor.

But we survived those turbulent times––through God, through our friendship, through our continuous effort to tackle our problems instead of running out the door. And with every experience, every fight, I’d learn things about what marriage really meant.

Deal with your emotions. I had to work through a lot of feelings from my childhood: the fear, the anger, the destructive coping mechanisms that kept me safe but also created barriers between my husband and I. I needed to identify where they were coming from and find ways to channel them positively.

Take command responsibility. Mike and I tried to go for counseling, which really helped, but at the end of the day, the task still fell on our shoulders. We had to make the necessary changes. We had to stop blaming each other and look for solutions together.

Be patient. We expect so many things from our partners, but we have to let them grow at their own pace. I wanted Mike to be good at fatherhood right away; I now realize that he needed time.

Accept each other. Nobody is perfect. We have our own faults and shortcomings. We need to accept each other and learn to give unconditional love.

Pray. Problems cannot be fixed miraculously overnight. God wants you to go through the process, because He is working on your character and teaching you wisdom. If you get the answer right away then you don’t learn the lesson

Remember what brought you together. When I reach the point of ““ayoko na,” it helps to look back to the time that we liked each other and ask myself, what did I fall in love with? With the many concerns of married life, it’s easy to take the good things for granted.

Don’t lose your own identity. Marriage only works if you have space to be yourself and develop your own dreams and personality. Don’ t lose yourself. I was lucky to have gone through so many experiences before I finally settled down. Yes, I was lost for several years, and a lot of those memories are painful, but I am a stronger person because of what I went through. Now that I’m married, I want to make sure that I don’t lose the identity that I tried so hard to find.

Mission/Vision. Have a family mission and vision that will serve as compass when things are going off-course.

Marriage is definitely hard work. We can get into each other’s nerves. Hmm, perhaps my husband sent this email so we continue to work on finding solutions and making necessary changes.


In this modern and gadget-obsessed era, many people have learned the art of playing with words and using them to their advantage. How can you not become skillful with words in a time when you cannot escape a day without sending text messages, updating our social media status and expressing ourselves in 140 characters on Twitter? But all those words are meaningless without the appropriate action.


Words, no matter how eloquent have no bearing when they are not accompanied by gestures. In a relationship, words are important but you cannot depend on them alone. Of course, it feels good to hear your significant other say “I love you,” “you mean the world to me,” “I’ll do anything for you,” “you’re my everything” and so on but if that person constantly lets you down and hurt you, then those words may seem ironic.

Words are music to the ears but they should always be supported by actions. In order to mean what you say, you have to prove it with gestures. The virtual world is bombarded with sweet nothings but in reality, happiness highly depends on what you actually do. After all, actions speak louder than words.

Many complain that their partners are not vocal about their feelings. It’s a blessing to have someone who can express his/her feelings in words and gestures. Sometimes, you can’t always have the best of both worlds. If you have to choose, would you rather be with someone who showers you with sweet lines but disappoints and makes you cry or would you rather choose a person who doesn’t say much but who is always there for you and fulfills his/her promises? If you have good sense, you know you’re better off with the latter.

A relationship starts with exchange of words but in order for it to grow and develop, you need to nurture it with the right actions. Simple deeds can outweigh words. Don’t worry too much if your partner is not generous with his/her words as long as you feel that you are loved. Here are some day-to-day gestures that express affection without the need to say the words aloud.

Introduction to family and friends – You know you are special to a person when he/she introduces you to his/her family and friends. It’s a gesture that may indicate that he/she is serious about your relationship and thinking of building a future with you.

Shirley was ecstatic the day her boyfriend introduced her to his family. They have been together for a year and a half when her boyfriend invited her for brunch at his parent’s house. Shirley took it as a sign that their relationship is for keeps.

Physical display of affection – A simple and random display of affection such as giving you a tender embrace, kissing you on the cheek, holding your hand, or putting an arm around you show that your significant other wants to be in close proximity to you.

Weng, a stay-at-home mom is married to a hardworking regional sales manager of a big company. He is always on the road. They have been married for eight years now. Her husband is the quiet type but what he lacks in words, he compensates in action. Although he rarely says “I love you,” Weng feels loved because he never fails to kiss and hug her the moment he wakes up and every chance he gets whenever he is at home.

Taking the extra mile – A person can express his/her emotions through his/her behavior. He/she may go out of his/her way to cheer you up, give you advice or offer you a helping hand.

Gloria fell in love with Frank because of his genuine kindness. She remembers the time when torrential rain caused city-wide flooding. She and her sister were stuck at home because of the flood. Frank bought pandesal, bottled water and a few canned goods to bring to Gloria and her sister. Frank walked for more than an hour carrying the goods because many of the roads were impassable to public and private vehicles. Frank waded in filthy water. He disregarded his own health and safety just to get to Gloria. There was a nagging fear in his head that he might get injured by falling in a manhole or stepping on something sharp or worse something rusty. Thankfully, he arrived at Gloria’s apartment safe and sound. Little did he know that on that day, he won her heart.

Symbol of love – You can express how much you value the presence of a person in your life by giving him/her a symbolic gift.

Bernie gave his girlfriend a promise ring as a sign of commitment. The promise ring is also a pledge of love and faithfulness. It was like a pre-engagement gesture to show his girlfriend that he sees his future with her.

Showing remorse for mistakes – Being sorry goes beyond words of apology. It means making an effort to correct the problem and setting things right.

Alfred’s infidelity almost destroyed his marriage. The thought of losing his wife and children made him realize the gravity of what he has done. When his wife found out about his affair with another woman, she threatened to leave him and take their children with her. Alfred held his wife as tight as he could. She struggled to break free but he refused to let go. When his tears began to fall, his wife stopped and looked at him straight in the eye. It was the first time that she saw him cry. He has always been a strong and brave person. He is not easily moved by difficult situations unlike most people. But that moment, Alfred felt all his strength and courage escape him. He knew he had broken his wife’s heart. He wanted to apologize and beg her to stay but the words couldn’t come out. Alfred broke down. After his emotional release, he was able to talk to his wife.

He learned from his mistake. Rather than making promises, Alfred showed his wife how much he values the second chance she gave him through his actions. He severed all forms of communication with the other woman. He keeps his mobile phone in plain sight. No more secret text messages and calls. He now makes it a point to go home early. Alfred knows that it will take time for his wife to trust him again but he will keep trying.

Photo c/o Pixabay. Public domain.

Written by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco , as published originally at Walk your (loving) talk, Philippine Online Chronicles.


Familiarity breeds contempt. This is likely to happen in a marriage.


Day in, day out you wake up to the same man, drooling beside you in deep sleep while you can hardly take a wink with his deep resounding snore coupled with wheezes bugging you through the night. Then he wonders why your face is all wrinkled up with frowns as he wakes up and sees you in the morning. Hardly energized, you have to face the challenges of parenthood with children practically screaming for attention, go through the same old tiring chores before hitting the road and welcome another stressful day at work. Most of the time you are at your wit’s end and wish there was some kind of remote control to give you a breather.

Press STOP. That’s more like it. Silence helps us catch up with our breath and refocus. This is not exactly the happy scenario you saw in your mind as the church bells joyfully pealed over the exchange of I dos. Something went wrong somewhere and it turned into a nasty habit. The sweet-nothings of the honeymoon days turned into sour-graping. The high praises turned into put downs. The attentiveness turned into deadpan silence. With resentment piling up, big fights start with the slightest provocation.

It is so easy to get lost in the middle of a messy life where the objective of the day is to score a hurt towards your spouse or wallow in self-pity if you get to the losing end. Where do the children figure in all these? They get caught in the crossfire.

Rudy and Jelly had to come to terms with the ugly realities of their marriage. Rudy is an only child who was used to having his way. Jelly is a head strong activist whose feministic views fuelled the insistence on her right to equality. After the whirlwind romance, the honeymoon ended when it barely started. The head-on collision of opinions graduated to bitter arguments and nearly escalated to violence. This went on until their first child was born. Blinded by deep-seated resentments, they usually forgot the innocent baby’s presence. At first, the child’s troubled wails were merely drowned by her parents’ loud screaming matches. The couple got to their senses as their daughter learned to talk. They got into another verbal brawl when their barely two year-old daughter tearfully pulled her mommy’s shirt and said, “Sorry Mommy, Sorry Daddy” in between sobs. Shaken, the high pitched row suddenly stopped. The parents’ hearts melted at the thought of how their innocent toddler took the blame for their anger.

This could not go on, they both decided. Swallowing their pride, Rudy and Jelly sought forgiveness from each other and promised not to let the ugly fights happen again. Habits die hard so it was with hard work for Rudy and Jelly to at least be nice to each other.

the greatest gift...

START WITH KIND WORDS. Preacher in Blue Jeans, Bro. Bo Sanchez puts weight on what you say, ““If you want to change your life, change your words. I believe that if you change your vocabulary, you change your life story.”

This goes along with the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you tell your child how hard-headed he is at every given opportunity, expect that he will grow up rebellious. The same principle applies with couples. If you hype up on your spouse’s insensitivity every day, expect him to be indifferent to your needs and worse, that of your child’s.

Reverse the process. If Rudy and Jelly were once quick to nitpick, they now bite their tongues when the temptation is strong. Jelly would take a deep breath and make a mental account of all her husband’s good qualities.

She would then decide to choose to see the better side of him and replace the unsaid disdain with a praise or two.

FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ACTIONS. Note the word “decide”. It is a conscious effort to be a better person so that your partner will be a better spouse. Rudy did not just agree to choose kind utterances in dealing with his wife, he also initiated a tradition for them to honor each other during their “monthsery” celebrations.

After the cozy dinner, both of them go through a list of ten things to be thankful about each other. This practice boosted Rudy and Jelly’s morale and strive to be a better husband and wife. As a consequence, they become better parents.

Deb HIrschham, PhD, of affirms the positive effects of making your partner feel good about himself/herself. “Although opposites do attract, the fundamental, deep-down attraction comes from a reflection of oneself. Not only is this person validating you, but his very being (because it’s so much like yours) validates you all the more.”

Dr. Hirschham adds that this is not an easy task but it could be done, “If you don’t see this, you do have to plumb the depths to find it. It is not on the surface. The surface includes a host of differences, but deep down you’ll find the sameness.)”

END EACH DAY WITH LOVE. In her singlehood, Jelly has grown accustomed to giving the silent treatment when mad at someone. She carried this into her marriage much to her husband’s disappointment.

Rudy, on the other hand, would pester his wife thinking that this would settle their differences. Instead, Rudy’s peskiness annoyed Jelly and the cold treatment would escalate into a full blown word war.

After agreeing to attend a couple’s spiritual renewal seminar, Rudy and Jelly adhered to the Christian teaching, “When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.” (Ephisians 4:26).

It was initially difficult for Jelly to practice this teaching but with Rudy’s more loving approach, opening up about deep hurts and settling differences came easier. They both have peaceful slumbers as differences are settled at the end of the day.

Seven years into their marriage, Rudy and Jelly’s relationship is going stronger. Yes, there are still lapses and angry outbursts (but this time not in the presence of the children). As they learn to deepen each other’s love with respect and sensitivity to each other’s needs, they become better spouses and parents. And their little tot? She is growing into a well adjusted child, knowing that her Daddy’s love towards Mommy ensures all the security she needs in the world.

Written by Jasmine Barrios as originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles.

Photo: “Father and Child” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

Beyond pleasure, there are several health benefits of making love. Studies suggest that making love on a regular basis is as good as pumping some iron in the gym.

making lovePeople often link a healthy lifestyle to boring and bland food, tough workouts, and sweet-deprived life. Contrary to the common beliefs, living a healthy lifestyle is not a punishment but a reward that you can give yourself.

Exercise plays an important role in promoting a healthy lifestyle. Married couples will be delighted to know that sex is considered as moderately intense exercise. Although sex is not something that can replace the treadmill, it still has the ability to boost both physical and mental health. According to WebMD, “sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV.”
Maintaining a healthy sex life is a good way to improve health. Here are some known health benefits of making love.

1. Boosts immune system – The immune system is your body’s first line of defense. Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, a sexual health expert stated on WebMD that sexually active people are less prone to illness. People who engage in sex have higher levels of antibodies against germs, viruses, and other intruders. However, health experts still stress the importance of eating right, staying active, getting enough sleep, keeping up with vaccinations, and exercising safe sex to maintain good immune system and protection against sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

Based on a study from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, people who make love one to two times a week have three times as much Immunoglobulin A (antibody) in their systems compared to those who do not engage in sex or have sex less than once a week.

2. Promotes positive emotional responses – Having sex brings physical pleasure but it also has a chemical effect that has been suggested to lift the mood and reduce depression. Making love is linked to a cheerful mood. During orgasm, the body releases serotonin and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone). The former is a neurotransmitter that regulates mood and promotes a happier and hopeful disposition while the latter has antidepressant effects.

Making love can improve a person’s overall well-being. According to, the body releases cortisol-lowering oxytocin while getting a massage, hugging, holding hands, and making love. This hormone has been dubbed as the “love hormone”, “hug hormone”, “cuddle chemical”, and “bliss hormone”. Oxytocin acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain which promotes positive social behaviors and emotional responses that are linked to relaxation, trust and psychological stability. It is also known to reduce stress responses, such as anxiety.

3. Increases libido – If you want to bring the sizzle back to your sex life, it’s time to plan more date nights with your husband or wife to rekindle the romance. End the evening by going under the sheets and making love.

Lauren Streicher, MD says that making love regularly makes sex better and boosts your libido. The more you enjoy making love, the more you crave for it.

4. Makes your skin glow – Sex is a natural beauty enhancer. Health experts say that making love improves blood circulation and oxygenation of the blood. The skin is said to have a certain glow after sex or a temporary brighter complexion. During organism, endorphins and growth hormones are released, like DHEA which helps heal skin damage attributed to sun exposure, smoke and cortisol buildup.

Making love also helps get rid of toxins and give the lips a fuller look. Regular sex increases production of estrogen in women which results to shinier hair and more luminous skin. It also increases production of collagen which is responsible for making the skin appear supple and firm. When you feel good about your appearance, you feel more confident.

5. Improves female bladder control – Sex can help minimize incontinence. Regular sex is a good exercise for the pelvic floor muscles. When a woman reaches climax during sex, the muscles contract which strengthens them.

intimacy6. Promotes better sleeping habit – Regular sex is a good remedy for people who are having trouble sleeping due to anxiety or stress. After making love, the body releases the hormone prolactin which has a relaxing effect and the hormone oxytocin which promotes sleep.

7. Lessens aches and pains – A wave of oxyticin rushes through the body just before reaching an orgasm. Fitness Magazine claims that during this time, the body releases endorphins with pain relief effect. Sex has the ability to offer fast relief from aches and pains such as leg pain, arthritis, menstrual cramps, and headaches.

8. Lowers blood pressure – Some studies show that making love lowers systolic blood pressure (the top number that appears on your blood pressure test). The hormone oxytocin which is released during orgasm also helps lower blood pressure.

9. Decreases risk of heart attack – “Sex is a good aerobic exercise, and aerobic exercise is good for heart health,” says Dr. Nukta, medical director of interventional cardiology at Fairview Hospital, a Cleveland Clinic Hospital.

Making love regularly is good for the heart. It raises heart rate and balances estrogen and testosterone levels. WebMD cites a study where “men who had sex at least twice a week were considered half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.”

10. Lowers risk of prostate cancer – WebMD also stated that sex, nocturnal emmision and masturbation can lower the risk of prostate cancer.

11. Strengthens relationship – Making love can enhance the intimacy between a couple and strengthen relationship. After engaging in sex, a couple often feels the desire to cuddle and hold each other. The release of oxytocin promotes the feeling of closeness which fulfills the need for loving physical contact.

Written by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco as originally posted on the Philippine Online Chronicles

Photo1 c/o Flickr. Some rights reserved; Photo2 c/o Flickr. Some rights reserved.
Rachel Yapchiongco, also known as Rach to her friends, is a Psychology and Marketing Management graduate of De La Salle University. Rachel is a chocolate lover, full-time mom to a charming young boy and married to an entrepreneur who has a passion for cooking. She shares parenting experiences and slices of everyday life on her personal blog called Heart of Rachel.

“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.” Charles Spurgeon

Happiness is… having a date with my husband even if it is just doughnuts and coffee.
“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Happiness is… watching a little boy, have fun.


“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is…enjoying life with an empty nest.



“Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.”  Bertolt Brecht

Happiness is…walking in the park.


“Happiness is a direction, not a place. ” Sydney J. Harris

Happiness is… stopping to play with the kitties.


“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it. “William Feather

Happiness is … enjoying life as it comes.

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.” Bernard Meltzer

Happiness is…the simple joy of winning this Huwaei P9 from Nuffnang Philippines and Huwaei Philippines because of my #ChangeTheWayYouSeeHappiness blog post. I want to share this joy with all of you.


Remember that if you are happy, happiness overflows and you can give happiness. If you don’t love yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that.


Happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy.

(updated) A friend wondered why my husband married me in the first place. I laughed. Without batting an eyelash, I smiled “because I am a bitch. Maldita!

Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman\'s Guide to Winning Her Man\'s HeartThey say that it starts in courtship. In the book, “Why Men Marry Bitches“, Ms. Argov says it is true “men love to chase women” and we must let them do that. I’ve never read the book but I have my own definition of being a “bitch”. Oh how I remember how I played hard to get just so Butch would suffer. I even had another suitor just to show him that he’s not the only guy in this world. At that time, Butch had a girlfriend but dumped her when he started courting me. (I later found out it was the girl who pursued him). After three months of wooing me, we became steadies for 7 years before tying the knot. Even though he was still at Law School, I told him this: “if we don’t intend to marry on our 7th year, I’m moving to the States with my sister.

We married on our 7th year.
anne-taintor-bitchMy definition of “bitch” is not one who is nagger, or a war-freak wife. I am neither demanding or mean. The book describes the “bitch” as ” a strong woman who has her own identity and is secure with who she is.” I don’t know how the other bitches in the world work. I define myself as a passionate, loving , loyal wife who will fight for her man , her family and her marriage . When threat prevails, the bitch in me will find ways to curtail it. Lately I established family relationship boundaries and that’s when havoc occurs. My methods may come out offensive or abrasive in a world where one is not used to confrontation or honest exchange of communication.

Whenever my sisters and their spouses are in town for a reunion, we tease our husbands that they can now commence their support group. I don’t know if my husband is traumatized whenever I am in my “bitch mode”.

So why did my husband marry a “bitch”?

I have no idea so I send an instant message . His reply:


Yes, that’s life. He can’t explain it.

“I think we are the oldest here”, my husband muttered as we assembled for the Color Manila Nite Run: Black Light Edition.

Color Manila Nite Run- Black Light Edition

I laughed. “Don’t worry, we are here for the fun!” There is no age limit when it comes to fun and definitely none when it comes to fitness. Reality is I don’t like to run but I prefer to walk briskly. In fact, I have never joined any running events.

fun run

And well, why shouldn’t I try new things, get out of my comfort zone? When I attend the launch of this fun run a few weeks ago, I was told this is not your usual fun run and not a competition. I like that. No pressure to reach the finish line but just to enjoy the moment. Who knows, this might actually be the event to encourage me to even take the sport more seriously one day.

Color Manila Nite Run- Black Light Edition2

The Color Manila Nite Run: Black Light Edition is a “color festival, a fun run like no other, and a party rolled into one. It’s like that party but you wake up early for it, and never regret. The fun does not start at the finish line where you hear the bands. The party starts when you hear Gun Start. ”

powder at the color nite run

As my husband and I started running/walking to our goal, we literally encountered the most colorful confetti ever. I got bombed with pink colored powder that smelled of candy. The entire time that we started running, from the gun start, the organizers started to explode powder on us. We passed by three color stations along our 3 K route. Each station has a specific color assigned. They made sure we all the happiest colors of the rainbow (yellow, blue, green, purple, orange) formulated to glow under UV light.  Each of us had a blacklight headlight that reflected this powder. I felt like my body was “tie-dyed”

powder at the manila color run

Even the streets exploded with colored rain. The only sad people were those caught in traffic as we passed through intersections.

Color Manila Nite Run- Black Light Edition3

There was so much happy-spirit fever everywhere as colors transferred from one person to another. The best part is finishing the fun run as we each got our finishers’ medal. Mission accomplished. Fun and run! You know what, I am seriously considering joining more fun runs before I take this sport seriously.

Color Manila Nite Run- Black Light Edition finishers medal

The young ones continued to party as we sat by the grassy corner, wiping off our tinkerbell dust before heading off to our car. And by party, this meant being with “a bunch of happy, supersonic, neon-colored balls of energy dancing while singing” .

“Let’s look for another fun run”, says my husband .

Uh-oh,here we go.

As originally posted by Toni Tiu at the Philippine Online Chronicles

new years resolution for couples

Want to strengthen your relationship this 2015? Make New Year’s resolutions as a couple. Making resolutions with your partner can help you watch out for each other and build a more solid foundation for your relationship. Try some of the resolutions below to have a more loving new year!

1. Ditch multi-tasking when you’re together. When you’re spending time with your significant other, park your mobile phone and laptop. Put it in your bag such that when your phone vibrates or chirps, you’re not tempted to pull it out easily and check the alerts. Give your partner your full attention. When you’re doing other things at the same time, it gives your partner a sense  that she is not worthy of your time. Banish those bothersome bleeps and buzzes. Give yourself 100% when you’re together.

2. Work out together. Once you get into a comfortable rhythm as a couple, it can become very tempting to just settle in front of the TV or the laptop and snack on junk food. After all, shouldn’t true love include loving each other fully — love handles and all? This isn’t very healthy for both of you. If you do enjoy eating together, choose healthy dishes. Even more so, move together! Find a sport you can enjoy together. Whether it’s running together in the morning, hitting the gym and being each other’s gym buddies, or playing badminton against each other, find a way to sweat together. You say goodbye to extra pounds and improve your health together.

3. Be more patient with each other. As the months and years go by, the little things that we adored about each other begin to tick us off. What we used to romance about each other begin to irritate us. Stick it out. There’s a Filipino saying that goes “Ang pag-aasawa ay hindi biro, ‘di tulad ng kanin, iluluwa kung mapaso.” (Marriage is not a joke. It is not like food that you can spit out when it is too hot to chew.) This quote applies to any relationship. You just don’t cut it short when the going gets tough. Find ways to become more patient with each other this new year.

4. Play together. Find a hobby that you can both enjoy. Do something creative together! Sip & Gogh in Quezon City is a first-of-its-kind paint and sip studio here in the Philippines. Instructors are available to guide you in painting your own masterpiece that you can take home after your painting session. You don’t have to bring materials as all will be provided for you — canvas, paints, palette, and all. Why not paint a masterpiece together? They have sessions for couples too! Indulge your creative sides together.

5. Commit wholeheartedly. Similar to the first resolution, this is all about giving your full 100% to your partner. If you are not married, are you ready to take the next step? Think about it. If you are married, how committed are you to your spouse? Be inspired by Pope Francis’ thanksgiving message to World Youth Day volunteers. He said:

“Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion; in a culture of relativism and the ephemeral, many preach the importance of ‘enjoying’ the moment. They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, ‘forever,’ because we do not know what tomorrow will bring.”

“I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes that you are incapable of responsibility, that you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage ‘to swim against the tide.’ Have the courage to be happy.”

Here’s to a happy new year to couples. May these resolutions help your relationship grow even more loving in 2015!

Photo Credit: Pixabay