The day Lauren wrote her essay on “Generation Next, Generation Net” 11 years ago, I had no idea I’d end up being a blogger just like her. During those days, diarist or online journallers were relegated to the twenty something and below. Moms did not blog. Our kids must have been so influential in inspiring moms like me to blog. I am not alone. Take a look at JAngelo and his mom, Dine or Aaron Roselo and his mom blogging at AMomandMore.

Having read Lauren’s blog for many years sublimally prepared me for the launch of my blog 10 years later after she started in 1996. Let me count the ways:

1. Content (Good and Original) is King.

Good content shows the blogger’s own personality and flavor. Her story-telling style made it very interesting for her readers of all ages. Good content built a strong readership which she continues to enjoy until the present time. The power of stories to connect, captivate and persuade, creates a great way to grab hold of a reader.

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The green landscape just took my breath away as we drove on to the countryside. The gust of wind sent a shiver down my spine. I love this place, I thought as we inspected the Sta. Rosa property in Laguna. The fresh countryside air is the best gift that I can ever give my family. Three family members are asthma prone and this is the ideal family home for us, as I hugged my husband. The year was January 2000. While my husband and I poured over the layout of the house, Luijoe was a bit distressed to see that he had his own room which I labeled “Luijoe”. He took my pencil and wrote Luijoe in OUR bedroom. “That’s where I am going to sleep”, he showed an impish grin.

Oh well, he is not ready to move to his own room. I looked at my husband.

Luijoe ran to the cul-de sac and romped on the greenery beside the house as it was slowly being constructed. The move to our country home was scheduled for April 2001.

The plan was simple enough. Lauren and Marielle will finish high school somewhere in the south of Manila while Luijoe would study in Don Bosco at Sta. Rosa. When the girls are in college, they will live in dormitories and drive home for a weekend stay in our country home.

Destiny had other plans for us.

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I am so proud of my husband. Not only is he the breadwinner, he’s also the cook during weekends. I’m lazy like that. But what I’m really proud off are the positive changes in him since we gave each other a second wind in our marriage. In the past, he’d find excuses to entertain clients in fine dining places or anywhere else but home. Look at him now! A cook.

My stubborn nature often blamed my husband for the marital discord. A rock must have hit my head one day when I realized I, too, am part of the equation in the marriage. One of the many things I corrected was the way I’d argue with my husband. See, my husband rants a lot when he is frustrated and is quite short-tempered as a result. Oftentimes, I end up getting riled up when he is in that brooding mood. After 29 years of togetherness, I finally perfected the fine art of arguing with my dear husband. Here are my strategies :

1. Using powerful words such as “Yes, dear I see exactly where you’re coming from. You mean…….”
This statement makes it clear enough that I heard my husband. That’s all he really wants— to be validated. By agreeing with him, I gradually simmer down his anger.

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Traffic was unusually light that Friday Morning. Maningning reached the Far Eastern University from Diliman in less than an hour. Maningning plucked a stem of bougainvillea at the trellis and carried it with her as she greeted the clerk seated at the office on the ground floor of the Institute of Architecture and Fine Arts. She then took the elevator to the seventh floor where her class usually met. The quiz she would give today would be unlike all others.

She was fifty minutes too early. The Brigada Siete TV crew, which featured her later, took a picture of the flowers she left in the women’s comfort room. She walked along the corridor. To one side was the row of empty classrooms, to the other were the railings that guarded people from falling to the empty space below. I should think her heels ached, because stunned witnesses claimed that she removed her shoes. Wings grew from where she felt the pain. The wings lifted her to the railing where she sat for a while facing the classroom walls, to her back the gaping space into her underworld. I imagine how she imagined wings growing from her pained heart. She lifted her head and prepared to lie in the air. But hearts in pain do not grow wings. She fell to the awning six floors below. She was twenty eight.

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Every time I am invited to a new media event, I seek Marielle’s opinion. “Do you think so-and-so event is worth attending?”. And if Marielle is really gung-ho over it, she’d go “mom, it’s an excuse to go out of the house”. See, I don’t want to waste my time in an event if the product/service won’t add intrinsic value to my blogs. I could make better use of my precious time by working on my passive income-generating sites. So far the new media events of the past week were all fun, hip but too expensive.

1. Philippine School of Interior Design Graduation Exhibit dubbed as “Forty, Filipino, and Fabulous”
Last Friday was the press preview of the Philippine School of Interior Design (PSID) Advanced Class of 2007 graduation exhibit dubbed as “Forty, Filipino, and Fabulous” which is mounted in cooperation with the Chamber of Furniture Industries of the Philippines (CFIP). You can watch this exhibit starting September 29- October 31 , at the Paseo Center, Paseo de Roxas cor. Sedeno st., Salcedo Village, Makati City. If you’re in the lookout for an interior designer, you might be able to choose from among the graduating students exhibiting their work from the 19 booths. My favorite was this bathroom called “Salapid” which is a representation of the modern Filipino couple’s sanctuary. See, the problem with a His and Hers bathroom is that if your hubby takes too long to use the bath, you end up waiting for hours on end. The solution is to get inside the bathroom with him, lounge on this “modern interpretation of the sulihiya” chair and relax. View the 19 booths through the Photos of the “Forty, Filipino, and Fabulous” Exhibit

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This photo was two months after Luijoe’s death. Here are my two daughters in their early teens about to release balloons on Luijoe’s 7th birth Anniversary. The sunny skies greeted us as we celebrated that day with balloons, his favorite gummy bear, flowers , candles and incense sticks. All of us signed something on the smiley balloon by Luijoe’s grave. As I look at this photo, I could not imagine my children’s grief until many years after. This was how Lauren expressed her grief 3 years after the death of her brother:

Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. I chose to deal with my sadness through writing down what I felt in my journal. I suppose I could have talked to my friends about it, but I knew in my heart that they could not comprehend the magnitude of my sorrow and guilt unless they themselves have experienced death, which they haven’t.

During my bereavement, one thing that exasperated me was when people would tell me things like, ‘At least your brother is an angel in heaven now.’ Though I know they meant well by these attempts to comfort me, I did not want to picture Luijoe hovering in and out of the clouds with a pair of wings and a halo. I wanted him to be alive, to be as annoying as little brothers are; anywhere but inside a wooden casket buried six feet under a fine carpet of Bermuda grass.

Grief is a never-ending process. The beautiful thing about grieving is that even though you will never get over the death of your loved one, you will learn to move on and live without that person. Death like any great wound leaves a scar that will heal with time. But the mark will always remain, and so will the memories of your loved one.

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