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Grief

Death of Ted Failon’s Wife: Suicide?

(Update May 21- Trina Etong committed suicide–NBI )

It was just a matter of time yet the news of Ted Failon’s Wife death came as a shock. Trinidad Arteche Etong or Trina , died tonight at 8:50 PM. She died of cranial injury but was it due to homicide or suicide? Her daughter thinks that her mom tried to commit suicide. To lose a loved one to death is painful, to lose a loved one to suicide is also disorienting.

If it is suicide, it is a particularly cruel form of death for the surviving family and friends. Questions like : How could she have been so full of despair that she felt that death was preferable to life? Additionally, the family has to cope with the police, an inquest, and possibly the media, as well as the ever-present and unanswerable question ““Why?”. Suicide is a complicated loss.

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It’s Been 40 days since the Death of Amiel Alcantara

Dying is a wild night and a new road.
~Emily Dickinson

Remember Amiel Alcantara? Well, it has been 40 days since his sudden death?


One of the things so astonishing and costly about losing a loved one is that, while the sun continues to rise and set, newspapers continue to be delivered, traffic lights till change from red to green and back again,our whole life is turned around, turned upside down.

And life does go on but we can still continue to remember our loved ones on special days through candle lighting, rituals, customs, simple rites or ceremonies. Today, on the 40th day since his death, a marker was blessed on the spot where Amiel was struck by a van.

The marker reads:

The Ateneo de Manila Grade School Members
MASTER JULIAN CARLO MIGUEL “AMIEL” ALCANTARA
who was called to the Lord on February 24, 2009.
We Thank him for the gift that he had been to all of us,
for teaching us to love, and cherish life, and
for bringing us all together as a community in prayer ,
with a renewed promise to nurture and care for each other,
as we journey for persons for others.
Blessed on the 40th day of his entrance to glory

April 5, 2009
Palm Sunday

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Beheaded But Always Remembered

Breaking News: Mary Jean Lacaba, the Filipina Red Cross Worker Freed.

I don’t feel the same outrage towards the Chip Tsao slur compared to the possibility that the Red Cross workers could get beheaded. Everyday as I watch the news, I feel helpless as threats to their lives escalate. Breaking news is that Mary Jean Lacaba, Filipina Red Cross worker has been released after more than 70 days in captivity. She was found near Indanan town and is now being transported to a trauma treatment center in Jolo. Swiss Andreas Notter and Italian Eugenio Vagni continue to be held hostage by the Al Qaeda linked terrorist organization. The threat to the remaining two Red Cross Workers remains.

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Francis Magalona Succumbs to Cancer


Photo Credits to Francis Magalona’s Multiply Site

Francis Magalona Succumbs to Cancer at the age of 44 at the Medical City Hospital after a 7 month battle with AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia with Mixed Lineage) or MLL. Francis died due to multiple organ failure ““secondary to severe sepsis and secondary to pneumonia,” according to a doctor who was not authorized to talk to media.

Rest in Peace, Francis. I somehow know the battle with leukemia as I witnessed my brother’s struggle with leukemia for three years.

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The Grief of The Invisible Class

A paragraph in Manolo ‘s entry on The Long View Insecurity and The Invisible Class caught my eye:

And meanwhile, there continue the biting criticisms. Blogger Caffeinesparks puts it this way, reacting to the outpouring of sympathy and shock over the death of Amiel Alcantara, the child accidentally run over in Ateneo de Manila: ““in the shanties along Pasig river, a kid playing falls into the water—drowned. Dead; a street urchin playing on the island along the road, runs after a kitten, gets run over—dead; babies die because their mothers live too far from health care centers or can only afford a manghihilot; 10 mothers dead a day—due to childbirth.” These are the grim and unnoticed statistics—so plentiful as to be unfelt—of what she calls the Invisible Class.

Why is it a biting criticism? If the blogger had access to the mortality statistics, why not write about it instead of criticizing the sympathy showered over Amiel Alcantara’s death? And perhaps, take it from there?

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Pepe Alcantara, Amiel Alcantara’s Dad Delivers 4 Messages

My husband refused to listen to me the night I first learned of Amiel Alcantara’s death. As I narrated the sordid details on how Amiel Alcantara died, Butch clamped his ears, “Stop it, I don’t want to hear anymore. It is just too much” All he knows is that Amiel got ran over by a van inside the Ateneo campus. He couldn’t take in the violent nature of Amiel’s death. (Edit March 8: My husband wrote A Grief Beyond Words) .So, when I visited the wake of Amiel Alcantara on February 25, I was all alone. No worries, I was there to offer comfort that a grief support group such as The Compassionate Friends is around if they needed it one day. Good thing Cathy was around too. I kept staring at Pepe Alcantara. He looked familiar to me but I couldn’t place his face. That night, I told Butch that I met the father, Pepe Alcantara. The name rang a bell to Butch but it was only the following day that we got confirmation in the papers that he is the same Pepe Alcantara he knew back then in his UP student days. Pepe was the UP Student Council President in the early 80’s with Lean Alejandro as his vice. Pepe and Butch belonged to the same student organization in the UP student days. Surely now, Butch will want to see Pepe.

Read More »Pepe Alcantara, Amiel Alcantara’s Dad Delivers 4 Messages

Prayers for Julian Carlo Miguel (Amiel) Alcantara, Grade 4 Student who died from a Car Accident in the Ateneo Campus

Edit (February 27): Links on news updated below

View Photos of Amiel Alcantara’s Balloon Release
Pepe Alcantara’s Eulogy


Candles and flowers on the spot where Amiel Alcantara’a head got pinned by the van’s tire

Read More »Prayers for Julian Carlo Miguel (Amiel) Alcantara, Grade 4 Student who died from a Car Accident in the Ateneo Campus

“Heaven’s Butterfly” – sharing part of the journey to help other grieving children

My friend Cathy and her daughter, Pia launched “Heaven’s Butterfly” yesterday. The book is published by Anvil and talks about the story of their life in the first year after Migi died. It specifically describes Pia’s journey from a place of sadness to a place of hope.

Pia was only seven when Migi died in 1998. Loss is a reality for children even at a very tender age. A child experiences grief in a cyclical manner. Meaning, they re-experience or re-visit the loss every time they pass through a developmental stage.

Cathy hopes that parents and teachers who read this book will come to realize that grief and loss, when it takes place, cannot just be swept under the rug. Losing someone is a real occurrence in a child’s world and we must allow that child to grieve. As adults and caregivers, we must do everything in our power to help them navigate that journey from sadness to hope.

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Light for Life, A Candle-Light Event for Peace on the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian War

From the Light for Life

On January 25
Light 1 candle
Offer 2 minutes of silence
And raise 5 fingers for peace!

We may not agree with other people’s stands on the war.
Perhaps the one thing we all acknowledge
is the fact that there has been unnecessary bloodshed on both sides,
blood of women, of children, and of those who fought in the war.

Join us on Sunday, January 25 at 8:00pm your local time
as we remember the victims of the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian War.

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