Skip to content

Recovery Tips

Happiness is in your Hands

When I hear the girls sighing over their crush , I notice their wistful expression of hope.

But he doesn’t like me mom is a recurring statement that sometimes escape their lips often mixed with a slight hint of sadness.

Sometimes a mere smile or nod gives them that giddy feeling. As a mother, it’s a thrill to watch your children happy over simple joys.

I often tell my 2 girls that happiness is a choice. Yes, it’s alright to mope and feel sad over a breakup or in getting over a crush. Cry if you have to , feel sad or be angry . I tell them ” Sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there’s something you need to do to take care of yourself and then go on with your life.”

Read More »Happiness is in your Hands

Eternal Life

I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” (John11:25,25)

resurrectionI have so much faith in the above biblical passage. Most bereaved families derive comfort from that verse with the hope of reuniting with their loved ones. It gives me hope that one day Luijoe and my family will be reunited in heaven with God. [tag]Resurrection day[/tag] or [tag]Easter day[/tag] reminds us that we will have life after we die – a resurrected life in heaven for eternity with Jesus!

Do you believe in [tag]eternal life[/tag]? Do you believe that our life here on Earth is temporary and our real home is heaven? How does one deserve to be in [tag]heaven[/tag]?

Read More »Eternal Life

On Death and Dying

I am no stranger to death and dying. Let me count the ways:

  • 1976– My mother succumbed to breast cancer
  • 1990– My 28 year old brother, Reuben died from Fulminant Hepatitis A
  • 1999Oscar, my 40 year old brother died of leukemia (AML- 6)
  • 2000Luijoe died from accidental drowning at a beach resort in Cebu
  • 2003Dad died of diabetes complications after being bedridden for 4 years.

Two of the above deaths were quite sudden without grief preparation of inevitable death unlike an illness where there is time to weep. I witnessed the dying and death of my mom, my son and my dad. The passing of our parents before us is a normal course in life. The passing of a young sibling and a child is not the normal course of events. It’s unimaginable.

Can you imagine the torment that the Mother Mary must have felt when she saw his dying son nailed to the cross?

Read More »On Death and Dying

Financial Responsibility

Maybe I am just stressed. Perhaps the stress added greatly to the crankiness factor. The thing is I absolutely abhor statements like “You can afford it. You are rich anyway”

Duh. True I am not exactly poor but I am not rolling in dough either. What is it with a Makati based address that assumes I have lots of money? This morning I went to a custom made furniture shop because my two lovely daughters wanted white themed bed frames for their room.Aside from the beds, I wanted to have new upholstery for my couch , white writing tables and a sofa bed made. For the past weeks, I have been scouring the local furniture stores for white bed frames but it seems every furniture designer prefer zen themed bed frames or using natural wood stain.

daybed.jpgicottage bed

My ears started to get warm. Why should I be charged more just because I “can afford” it? Furniture isn’t exactly like medical treatment where one gets socialized pricing in professional fees or hospitalization. So excuse me, I told her… just charge me a fair price. I sat there in disbelief as the owner continued to tease me about my imagined “wealth”. Some people are just so tacky you know? Why is it her business to know how much I bought my new home? She’s not even my friend or anything. My aunt just recommended her since her shop is just so near the village. Her statements weren’t funny yet I managed to politely correct her and say that I am financially responsible.

Read More »Financial Responsibility

Heaven is a Real Place

heavenAlmost 7 years ago, my adorable son sat beside me while I worked on my computer.

With both hands planted firmly on my cheeks, he asked, ““Where is Heaven? Are the clouds heaven?”

Unsure of the answer, I mustered to say something based on what I learned from my Grade school [tag]Religion[/tag] subject…

““I’m not sure if the clouds are heaven, but it’s somewhere up there and hell is down there,” I said, kissing his fat cheeks.

Luijoe asked all of these questions two weeks before his untimely death.

What a lame answer! I wish I knew more what heaven is like.

Luijoe never tired of asking the same questions over and over again, as though reassuring himself that there were angels that protected him and that heaven was a beautiful place to go when someone died.

As I wrote in the book , Fallen Cradle, it seemed that my son was preparing himself for heaven even fearful he would go to hell because like any little boy, he could also be naughty.

““I don’t want to go to hell,” he hugged me.

Read More »Heaven is a Real Place

Kris Aquino and Hope Centeno are not Victims

kris.jpgThe other woman, Hope Centeno wept and claimed she might be pregnant with James Yap’s kid . ““I also deserve the same sympathy as Kris” from the public. The 7 month pregnant [tag]Kris Aquino[/tag] just checked out of the hospital and minced no words. ““How dare you say sorry to me?” Kris scolded Hope. She then went on to blame Hope for her ““false labor” and subsequent hospitalization last Thursday.”

My jaw dropped as Kris lamented that “an innocent baby ” is at stake. “How dare you say sorry to me now after you endangered a defenseless child?” and added “You just want to ruin us,” “You attempted to steal my husband. You forgot I am seven months pregnant.”

and the other woman, [tag]Hope Centeno[/tag] “I don’t know if I can find another job. I am ruined. My only sin is that I loved James. I wish I was not judged,” she said, dabbing a piece of tissue paper at her eyes and nose.

Read More »Kris Aquino and Hope Centeno are not Victims

Ten Ways to Getting Through Hard Times

twins.jpgA footage from “Joined for Life: Abby and Brittany Turn 16” via The Learning Channel can truly inspire us during our deepest darkest despair. “Abigail and Brittany Hensel (born 7 March 1990, United States), are dicephalic [tag]conjoined twins[/tag]. Brittany is the left twin, and Abigail is the right twin. They have two spines which join at the pelvis. They have two stomachs, three lungs, and two arms. ” They are intelligent, energetic, fun-loving girls who just happen to share one set of legs and one set of arms – each girl controlling one half of their conjoined body.

Abigail and Brittany narrate their top ten list of interests since they turned 11. Despite the obstacles , they are able to drive, shop, attend high school which any “normal” teenager would love to do. After watching their video, I am amazed to see their wonderful positive attitude and their ability to live a normal life. Of course, they are probably adapted to their bodies.

Read More »Ten Ways to Getting Through Hard Times

Anna Nicole Smith’s Death

anna nicole smithMy heart goes out to Anna Nicole Smith. In death, she is still in the spotlight. [tag]Anna Nicole Smith[/tag]’s Death remains a mystery as of press time. The medical examiner says her death was “sudden, unexpected and unexplained. Upon hearing of [tag]Anna Nicole Smith’s death[/tag], the first thing that entered my mind was her grief over the loss of her son, Danny five months ago. The reality of child loss is devastating to a mother. There are overwhelming feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and most often feelings of failure. These feelings can overwhelm a mother for several months following the death of a child, and it can be quite difficult to build a support system to carry a mother through this roller coaster of emotions.

I have known bereaved parents who numb their pain through alcohol or drugs. So the second thing that entered my mind was did she die from drug overdose, alcohol or both?

Though Anna Nicole monopolized the gaudy, gossipy celebrity stage in life and in death, I can truly relate to her pain.

I don’t drink alcohol but during the early months of my grief, I just wanted to numb the pain. My doctor recommended anxiety pills but I refused. All I could think of is ” Stop my heart from hurting, please. ”

Read More »Anna Nicole Smith’s Death

Street Dancing Traffic Cop

traffic_enforcer.jpg
Meet Traffic Enforcer Noel Quilatan. Every morning on my way to the gym at The Fort, Taguig City, Noel is a sight to behold amidst the magnificent skyscrapers in the background. His cheery disposition lifts my spirits for the day and revs me up for my daily workout. You will find the Noel at the intersection of Mckinely Road, Makati and 5th ave of the Global City. What makes this traffic enforcer different ? Well for one, his traffic signals are choreographed to his own rhythm. It’s unlike other robotic traffic cops you see waving hand signals here and there. He executes slick dance steps unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Second, his sunny smile beams all day after hours and hours of dancing to the tune of traffic stop and go.

My husband surmises that Noel might be crazy. His reasoning “How can anyone smile all day handling Manila traffic with the tropical heat hitting on you? One has to be crazy to beat all that.” That got me thinking. Is Noel crazy? Or does Noel just have high endorphin levels? Or is he just enjoying his job? And again, I remember a series in Grey’s Anatomy where a woman was found to have high endorphins due to a brain tumor. I brushed my husband’s theory aside. Maybe he is just born with a positive spirit.

Noel is quite popular with the Makati and The Fort residents that he even got featured in Ms. Vicky Morales “Wish ko Lang”, a wish giving show. Surrounded by stuffed toys given by generous motorists, Noel’s wish was to see his mother whom he hadn’t seen in years. Noel could have asked for material gifts but he preferred to be with his mom. With tears streaming down his cheeks, Noel’s wish was granted.

I wish I had taken a video of Noel’s dancing moves . Here are a few photos posted by European websites:
Read More »Street Dancing Traffic Cop