This year is special for us. It’s our 40th wedding anniversary. But it’s also a poignant time, as it marks 25 years since our dear son passed away. To remember both these important times, we’re doing something special: walking the Camino de Santiago. Our hope is to reach the end of our walk on the anniversary of his Angel Date. There, we will pray for all our children and their loved ones, the wonderful blessings we’ve received throughout our 40 years together.
Berlin Art Lovers, get ready to witness history! The very first location-based AR exhibition, “Colors of Peace,” orchestrated by Digital Bohemians Club , is about to transform the iconic Pariser Platz in front of Brandenburg Gate!
From April 28th to May 30th, prepare to see my artwork, alongside the captivating creations of 12 other incredible artists magically spring to life through augmented reality. Imagine strolling through Pariser Platz and encountering stunning digital art installations floating in the air! Read More →
It feels like just yesterday, though many years have passed, that I first shared this deeply personal story. But with the arrival of another Easter Sunday, a day so profoundly special, the memory surfaces with a familiar poignancy.
“If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” Luijoe asked. My six-year-old boy lay nestled amongst a small mountain of prayer books he’d arranged on his little tummy, idly flipping through the pages.
“Ephemeral Serenity” visualizes inner peace through a carefully chosen palette of soft blues, purples, gentle pinks, and creamy whites. These hues blend seamlessly, fostering a tranquil and harmonious atmosphere that resonates with tranquility. The absence of harsh contrasts and the prevalence of muted tones contribute to a feeling of serenity and emotional stillness, inviting contemplation. The artwork suggests that inner peace is not a singular shade but rather a delicate symphony of colors working together to evoke a sense of calm and equilibrium within the viewer.
Listen to the audio overview of my curation here.
Have you ever experienced an immediate and compelling attraction to someone, a feeling of familiarity that defies explanation? Or perhaps found yourself in a relationship characterized by intense emotional fluctuations and recurring negative patterns? If so, you may be encountering the concept of a karmic relationship, a significant idea explored in both psychological understanding and, with deeper insight, through the perspectives of Zen and Buddhist teachings.
My sister shared the above YouTube video on “The Karma Of Marriage Why You Marry Who You Marry – Zen And Buddhist Teachings”. So, I looked into the intricate dance between karma and marriage, drawing insights from psychological perspectives and the deep wisdom of Zen and Buddhism. What emerges is a fascinating understanding of how our past actions and unresolved issues can weave themselves into the very fabric of our most intimate connections.
Psychology describes karmic relationships as intense, often turbulent bonds that feel almost predestined. Think strong initial attraction coupled with emotional volatility and a persistent sense of obligation. These aren’t always the fairytale romances we envision, but rather relationships designed to bring forth crucial life lessons and address unfinished business, perhaps even echoes from lifetimes past. I think I was drawn to my husband because of unresolved childhood issues with my mother. Let me not elaborate on that.Let’s just say I felt my mother was too strict and distant to me.
I decided to delve deeper and understand myself by researching on other materials about this subject matter. The following text is the result of my curation with additional perspectives from my own life.
Let’s step into the serene yet sharp clarity of Zen and Buddhist thought. Here, marriage, like all encounters, is seen as deeply interwoven with the principle of karma – the immutable law of cause and effect. As the teachings remind us, “everything that has a beginning has a cause, and everything that arises arises dependent on something else.” Our marriages, therefore, aren’t random pairings. They are often the fruition of seeds planted long ago, shaped by our past intentions and actions.
More Than Just “Happily Ever After”: The Purpose of Karmic Unions
From this perspective, the intense pull we feel isn’t always about present-day love. Sometimes, it’s a “resonance,” a recognition of shared burdens or unresolved debts. Marriage becomes a potent crucible for growth, a meeting with the soul who, perhaps unknowingly, holds the key to unlocking our “unfinished work.” It’s about confronting our shadows, the aspects of ourselves we often refuse to see, reflected back to us through the mirror of our partner.
Navigating the Labyrinth: Signs of a Karmic Knot
How do we recognize these karmically charged unions? Here are some signposts illuminated by both psychological insights and Buddhist wisdom:
Instant Recognition, Intense Connection: That feeling of having met before, a powerful and immediate attraction that feels almost fated. Zen teachings might describe this as a recognition of past burdens rather than solely present love.
Emotional Storms: These relationships are often marked by significant emotional turbulence – intense highs followed by devastating lows, leaving you emotionally drained. I can relate to the challenges that came my way.
Recurring Conflicts: Familiar patterns of conflict resurface, echoing unresolved issues from the past, be it childhood or previous relationships. Marriage, in this context, acts as a mirror showing us what we resist acknowledging.
A Sense of Duty:
You might feel more obligated to stay than genuinely connected, a sense that you have to make it work, perhaps stemming from a feeling of “soul debt.” There was a time that I didn’t want to make my marraige work anymore but it led me to an accident where I broke my ankle in the process. This required surgery.
Push and Pull: Experiencing intense attraction and repulsion towards the same person can be a hallmark of a karmic entanglement.
Karmically Precise Mismatches: What appears illogical externally – different backgrounds, values, or desires – might be “karmically precise,” bringing together individuals to specifically address certain unresolved issues.
Beyond Romance: The Deeper Currents of Karma in Marriage
From a Zen and Buddhist standpoint, love isn’t always the foundation of marriage. Sometimes, the union is rooted in a “debt,” a “lesson,” or a “mirror” reflecting our deepest selves. The person we marry often carries our unresolved karma, not as punishment, but as a catalyst for learning.
Attraction, in this light, can be a recognition not of the soul’s inherent beauty, but of its burden. We might be drawn to someone who owes us a “debt of pain,” or to whom we owe one. Broken promises from past lives can draw souls together again, sometimes with reversed roles, illustrating the silent justice of karma. Even genuine love can become a battlefield if individuals meet before they are equally ready or evolved.
The Spiritual Partner: A Catalyst for Awakening
The purpose of a spiritual partner in marriage isn’t to complete us, but to trigger our unfinished work. They help us see our shadows, revealing wounds that need healing rather than simply soothing them. Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to find comfort but to become conscious, to achieve liberation not from each other, but from illusion.
A Word of Caution: The Pitfalls of the “Karmic” Label
While understanding the concept of karmic relationships can be insightful, psychology rightly cautions against using it as a justification for staying in harmful or abusive situations. Learning lessons should never come at the cost of your safety and well-being, mentally or physically.
Untangling the Knots: Ending and Transforming Karmic Cycles
Whether a karmic relationship is meant to end or evolve, the path forward involves conscious awareness. Reflecting on recurring patterns, conflicts, and emotions can illuminate the lessons we are meant to learn. Practices that symbolize closure, like writing and releasing, can be helpful. From a Buddhist perspective, letting go with compassion and without bitterness is key to breaking the karmic cycle. “Letting go is not failure. It is freedom.”
Transformation is also possible. With conscious effort, open communication, and perhaps professional guidance, some karmic relationships can evolve into more positive and balanced unions.
The Unseen Language: Karma’s Whispers in Marriage
Zen and Buddhist teachings emphasize that “karma never forgets what happens in marriage because marriage is not merely a ritual or agreement; it is a sacred mirror.” It reflects our most vulnerable and authentic selves. What truly matters is not the outward display of love, but the intention beneath it. Actions born of insincerity or negativity sow negative karmic seeds.
Our words, spoken in anger or resentment, are like arrows that can leave lasting wounds. Even silence – neglect, lack of appreciation, emotional withdrawal – can create deep karmic imprints. Unresolved pain within a marriage can even be passed down, becoming the inheritance of future generations unless consciously healed. I hope my unresolved pain won’t be passed down. It is one reason I am committed to the Camino de Santiago pilgrimmage.
The Mirror Within: Marriage and Self-Awareness
“Who you marry reflects who you are inside.” Marriage acts as a powerful magnifying glass, revealing our insecurities, our capacity for patience, and our ability to love or judge. Our partners often mirror our unhealed aspects, every insecurity and unresolved belief about our worth. True change comes not from trying to fix our partner, but from purifying our own minds. As the wisdom goes, “You don’t fix the mirror by shouting at it. You purify your own mind.” The relationship we have with ourselves dictates the quality of our external connections – the “marriage within.”
Beyond the Form: The Essence of Connection
Ultimately, Zen and Buddhist thought doesn’t idealize marriage as the ultimate destination but sees it as one of many vehicles for awakening. What truly matters is not whether a relationship lasts forever, but whether it fosters growth and self-awareness. The true goal is liberation, not from each other, but from the illusions that bind us.
Thinking about my 40 years of marriage and 7 years as sweethearts, it seems like all those years, the good times and the tough times, might have been about learning and growing together. The fact that we’re still together after so long suggests we’ve worked through whatever challenges came our way. It’s like we helped each other see things and maybe even resolved some old issues. So, our lasting marriage means we’ve navigated those ups and downs and built something strong over all this time. Our marriage is a constant work in progress.
Listen to the audio overview: The Karma of Marriage: A Buddhist Perspective
“Tears are the words the heart cannot express.” How poignant these words have become almost 25 years later. Losing a child is like having a piece of your soul ripped away. It’s a pain so profound it defies words, a constant ache that settles deep in your bones. It’s a hollowness that echoes, a silence where laughter and chatter used to be. It’s a future that vanished in an instant, replaced by a grief that reshapes everything. It’s a love with nowhere to go, a connection that’s been severed but not broken. It’s a wound that may heal slightly over time, but never truly closes. It’s the most indescribable feeling imaginable, a weight no one should ever bear.
The pain lives within me, intertwinded into my soul. My son, Luijoe, passed away way too soon. Even though the sharp pain has changed over time, I still feel his absence deeply, like a constant emptiness. Some days, the grief hits me like a wave, reminding me of the future that was snatched from me, the milestones that will never come.
People say time heals all wounds, but I disagree. Time helps us learn to live with the wound. It teaches us to navigate the world with this gaping hole in our hearts. For me, that navigation involves cherishing the sacred bond I still share with Luijoe. It’s a lifeline, vital to my well-being.
I dream of him. I imagine him as he would be today, a young man of 31. I picture him as handsome, lively, and full of energy. I catch myself glancing at other young men, the children of friends, those who are the same age Luijoe would be now. Dine’s daughter, Jane’s son… I see them, so grown up, and a bittersweet smile touches my lips. Because in those fleeting moments, I see a glimpse of what my Luijoe might have been.
I wonder about the young man he would have become. Would he still sing? I remember him at six years old, captivated by music. He loved watching his older sisters during choir practice, his eyes wide with wonder. Pop music was his passion. He’d ask me to download mp3s of his favorite songs on Napster – remember Napster? – and then he’d sing and dance along, completely lost in the joy of the music. Those memories… they’re treasures I hold close, fragments of a life that burned too brightly, too briefly.
I wonder if he’d be here on the coffee farm with me. Would we walk the fields together? I dream of those times when I’m here. Maybe we’d pick coffee cherries side-by-side, and he’d help me get them ready afterwards.
Created using Midjourney
The world tells you to move on, to heal, to forget. But a mother never forgets. A mother’s bond endures. It’s a love that continues even with incomprehensible loss. And even if the tears continue to flow, sometimes quietly, sometimes in a torrent, they are proof of that unfading love. They are the words my heart cannot put into words, a language spoken only by those who have walked this path. I know, in my heart, that someday I will be reunited with my son. And I will keep holding on to his memory with me, a flame that might waver but never go out. It’s a love story that endures, even on the other side of the veil.
I am deeply honored to be recognized as one of the 2024 Artists of the Year by 34 Gallery! Being included among such an incredible group of talented artists is a truly humbling experience. This recognition reaffirms my belief in the transformative power of art to foster connection, inspire healing, and promote positive change in how we perceive and address mental health.
A heartfelt thank you to 34 Gallery and to everyone who has supported my journey. Your encouragement and belief in my work mean the world to me.
This award has prompted me to reflect on the deeply personal stories that inspire my pieces:
This piece emerged from the most devastating moment of my life — the loss of my precious six-year-old son 24 years ago. Grief consumed me, plunging me into profound depression and isolation. But one night, I felt a divine intervention, a message from my son urging me to heal and be present for my family. This comforting belief that he had become my guardian angel gave me the strength to begin the journey toward recovery.
I channeled this journey into the blog aboutmyrecovery.com, where I shared my experiences and connected with others who understood my pain. Through this platform, I discovered a community of support and empathy. “Always With Me” embodies this journey — the enduring love for my son, the pain of loss, and the hope that comes from connection and healing.
Prioritizing sleep has been a cornerstone of my mental well-being. By dedicating 7-8 hours each night to rest, I’ve regained focus, energy, and a renewed sense of purpose. “Dreamscape Serenity” captures this commitment to self-care and the peace that comes with nurturing our mental and physical health. It serves as a visual reminder of the vitality of rest in our daily lives.
In a world dominated by digital interactions, it’s easy to get caught up in endless scrolling and social media comparisons. This piece explores the mental health benefits of taking intentional breaks from these platforms. Stepping away allows us to reduce negativity, manage anxiety, and foster meaningful real-life connections. “Rediscovering Life Outside Digital Boundaries” encourages viewers to seek balance and prioritize their well-being in an increasingly connected world.
This piece delves into the complexities of self-image and self-acceptance. The fragmented reflection symbolizes vulnerability and the acknowledgment that we are all works in progress. It’s a gentle reminder that it’s okay to have imperfect days. “Beyond the Surface” invites viewers to embrace their authenticity and find beauty in their imperfections.
As I look ahead, I’m filled with gratitude and inspiration. This recognition fuels my passion to continue creating art that sparks meaningful conversations and fosters understanding around mental health. Through my work, I hope to encourage healing, self-discovery, and the celebration of strength. Thank you for being part of this journey.
34 Gallery & SDG 3.4
SimukaAfrica.org created The 34 Gallery as a UN SDG 3.4 Mental Health Initiative to highlight the importance of global mental health. By utilizing the Arts to cultivate self care, self-esteem, & self-awareness, we seek to lower the suicide rate for the 85% of the global population without access to mental health care.
Life has a way of catching us off guard, especially when we lose someone we love. Grief doesn’t come with instructions, and words often fall short of what’s stirring inside. In those moments, we search for small comforts, ways to hold onto memories even as we learn to live without them.
Have you noticed how we light candles to remember someone? Across the world, it’s a quiet way of saying, “I remember. I miss you.” That tiny flame, swaying gently in the dark, becomes more than light—it becomes hope.
That flickering flame can feel like the essence of a loved one—a bright moment in the shadows. It symbolizes the love and laughter you shared, the moments that grief can never take away. Lighting a candle is a simple act, but it’s deeply meaningful. It allows you to say goodbye to their physical presence while keeping their memory close, burning within you.
Candles have long held spiritual meaning, offering a way to honor and guide souls. In lighting one, you create a personal moment, a connection to the people you carry in your heart. The soft glow becomes a small space of peace, a reminder that they are never far from your thoughts, even if they’re no longer by your side.
When words fall short, the quiet glow of a candle can fill the space. It invites reflection, providing a moment to remember the joy they brought into your life. In that gentle light, there’s comfort—a reminder that even in the darkest times, hope still flickers.
Today, I light a candle for Luijoe, my parents, and my brothers, Ruben and Oscar. Their love and the memories we made continue to shine within me. Though they are no longer here in person, their spirits remain, guiding me forward with warmth and comfort.
There’s a special place inside each of us where love never fades. It’s where we keep the laughter, the smiles, and the lessons our loved ones left behind. These memories don’t disappear—they shape us, offering light even in our heaviest moments.
If you’re walking the road of grief, know that something as simple as lighting a candle can bring a sense of peace. That flame is a reminder that love outlasts loss. Our loved ones stay with us, their presence etched into our hearts, lighting the way forward—always.
“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again. Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.” — Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len
I’ve always thought there’s something powerful about saying “thank you.” It seems so simple, but I’ve seen it make a difference. Sometimes it pulls someone up when they’re having a hard time. Other times it softens a tense moment or just brightens an ordinary day. Gratitude spreads. When you give it freely, people often feel moved to pass it along.
Not every word has that effect, though. I remember apologizing once with everything I had, only to be met with silence. The person I hurt wasn’t ready, and maybe the wound was too deep. That moment taught me something I’ll never forget: honesty doesn’t guarantee healing. Sometimes words just aren’t enough, at least not right away.
I notice this even more now that so much of life happens online. We send emojis, stickers, or quick messages, and while they have their place, they don’t carry the same weight as a real connection. When was the last time you looked someone in the eye and said “thank you” or “I’m sorry” with genuine feeling?
Gratitude doesn’t need to be grand. A simple word of thanks can go further than you think. A funny sticker might make someone smile, but it doesn’t carry the warmth of a voice or the intention behind spoken words. My parents raised me to say “thank you” and “I’m sorry,” and as a child those words mattered. As I grew older, I caught myself saying them more out of habit than from the heart.
It wasn’t until later that I came across the Ho’oponopono prayer.It’s made up of four short lines:
“I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.”
Simple words, but they cut right to the heart.
Rebecca Cole once said that people rarely acknowledge kindness these days. Her observation hit me. Even a small thank you can mean so much. And whenever I give thanks with intention, it leaves me with a sense of peace.
I also think of Francesca Gino’s story about receiving a note of appreciation from her husband’s CEO. It wasn’t for anything huge, just patience and understanding. Yet it stayed with her. That story reminded me to check myself, to ask if I was really saying “thank you” often enough, and if I was saying it with sincerity.
Apologies matter just as much. Every time I say “I’m sorry,” I see it as more than admitting a mistake. It’s about showing respect and keeping trust alive. Guy Winch, in his book *Emotional First Aid,* talks about how an apology can heal not only the person receiving it but also the one giving it. I’ve felt that myself.
Still, words are not enough on their own. A real apology needs to be backed by change. I tell my husband this often. It’s not just about saying sorry, it’s about understanding the hurt and doing the work to avoid repeating it. He’s learning, and so am I.
Gratitude and honest apologies have a way of changing how we live. They do more than smooth things over. They strengthen relationships, bring a sense of peace, and keep us focused on what truly matters. We shouldn’t wait until it’s too late to speak the words that matter. A simple thank you or a sincere apology can go a long way.
A mother’s love is like a cradle of light, gently holding and guiding her child through life’s journey.
I’m overjoyed and deeply honored to announce that my artwork, “Cradle of Light,” out of 155 submitted artworks has been awarded the $1,000 Mother’s Day Artist Grant from RARI Chain, powered by HUG! This recognition means the world to me, not only for the financial support it provides but also for validating my artistic vision and fostering emotional connections with others.
The ‘Cradle of Light’ is not just a painting, but a symbol of the radiant love that illuminates the bond between mother and child.
“Cradle of Light” is a deeply personal piece inspired by the profound and everlasting love between a mother and her child. The swirling lines of light and radiant clusters represent the pure, unbreakable bond I share with my children, transcending time and distance. It reflects on the tender moments and overwhelming emotions I experienced as a young mother, gazing upon my newborn babies with awe and wonder. I created this artwork on May 1, 2024 just in time for the deadline of the Open Call.
I poured my heart and soul into this piece, hoping to capture the essence of maternal love in a way that would resonate with others. To have it recognized by RARI and HUG is a dream come true and a testament to the power of art to connect us on a deeper level.
For those unfamiliar with RARI Chain, it’s an innovative Layer 3 platform built on Arbitrum, designed to empower artists by ensuring they receive fair compensation for their work. RARI Chain launched earlier this year and is governed by the RARI DAO, a community-driven organization dedicated to revolutionizing the way artists are valued and rewarded.
This generous grant will enable me to continue exploring my artistic passions, experimenting with new techniques, and sharing my creations with a wider audience. I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity and excited to see where this journey takes me. Stay tuned for updates on my upcoming projects and how I’ll be using this grant to further my artistic endeavors.
To RARI Chain, HUG, and everyone who has supported me along the way, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is just the beginning, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds!
