Kris Aquino, giving up on her marriage

““Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person”

It must be hard being both public figures. Only Kris Aquino and James Yap know their situation. I cannot count the times I, too, gave up on our marriage. Butch never gave up even at the time I gave up on our marriage.

That’s how our married life is. bati, galit, bati, galit and probably will always be, hopefully more good days than bad. The reasons behind some of our spats are immaterial. I believe that more marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse is hurdled. Then, again coping mechanisms vary among couples.

I pray for all those in the same marital situation as Kris.

Below are the videos and the transcript of Kris Aquino’s interview on “The Buzz,” Sunday (June 27) where she disclosed that she has given up on her marriage to basketball star James Yap.

BOY ABUNDA: Krissy, maraming tanong, maraming opinyon, speculations. This is your chance. We will listen. What do you have to say?

KRIS AQUINO: First, I’m sorry about Tuesday [engagement in Cebu]. For so long, ilang buwan naman na nagampanan ko ang lahat ng tungkulin ko, lahat ng responsibilidad sa trabaho at sa kampanya kahit na mayroon kaming pinagdadaanan sa tahanan namin. It was a sign of weakness on my part not to show up, and I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry that you had to be the one to answer because you felt uncomfortable making up an excuse.

About what we’ve been through, I think naman Boy hindi lahat sikreto sa inyong lahat, kung ano ang mga napagdaanan namin in our married life. I think also the whole Philippines is fully aware na when my mom was alive and ngayon, my siblings have tried to bridge whatever gaps — and I mean gaps, marami na kasi. Tinry nila na tulungan kaming ayusin yung mga problema namin.

I have not sat down [with my siblings]…lahat through text — kay ate, kay Pinky. Through phone, nakausap ko si Viel. Nagtext din kami ni Noy. Siyempre sila lahat, gusto nila sana maayos pa.

I just want to say na whatever decision I have come to, it’s not a spur of the moment decision. Hindi ito nangyari na nagising lang ako isang araw at sinabi kong ayoko na. Matagal naming sinubukan. James and I both tried to really make this work.

On my part, what I’m comfortable saying is, with finality I can say, ako sumuko na.

Ang dami kong pinag-isipan kung paano ko maibabahagi sa lahat kung anong pinagdaanan namin without revealing anything painful. But there’s no way of doing that.

Last night, mga 4 in the morning, hindi ako makatulog pa. Katabi ko si Baby James, and I think he had a bad dream kasi he started to cry in his sleep. And that’s when it came to me, and I’m sure lahat ng mga nanay maiintindihan ako. Kung anuman ang dahilan why this marriage, on my part I’m saying, is over, the only person I will owe and explanation to, and the only person who can demand from me na bakit kayo naghiwalay, is my son.

And kagabi Boy, narealize ko, the worst thing I can do for Baby James is, when he’s 7 or 8 years old and mahanap niya sa YouTube yung explanation kung bakit naghiwalay ang nanay at tatay niya. He deserves much more than that. He deserves to hear it only from me and only from James. Because in any separation, there are 2 sides to the story. And we owe it to him, James will owe it to him, that I will owe it to him to explain to him.

But I’m sure you will all understand me. My decision to keep quiet is not because on June 30 magiging presidente si Noy. My decision to keep quiet is because I asked myself ‘Kapag inexplain ko kay Baby James, number one mauunawaan ba niya ako? Number 2, rerespetuhin pa ba niya ako? At number 3, mamahalin pa ba niya ako?’ At nasagot ko naman kagabi na ‘yes.’ I know my son will understand me, will respect me and still love me. And I feel that he will love me more, respect me more, and value me more if I keep quiet today.

I know that will leave so many unanswered questions, but those questions, only Baby James deserves to hear the answers to. Siguro Boy, this is part of growing up. It’s part of realizing that yes, I am public and I owe all of you an explanation, but apart from God, the only one I’m answerable to is kung di man mga kapatid ko eh ang anak ko.

So sana po, maiintindihan ninyo po ako na yung mga legal na aspeto ng pagsasama namin ni James, inuumpisahan na naming ayusin lahat yun. Kung anuman ang mga naging problema namin, kung anuman ang mga napag-awayan namin, kung anuman ang naganap sa tahanan namin, let it stay there. Because I’m doing this for my son, because he’s only 3 years old and he really doesn’t deserve na kung ano yung trials na pinagdaanan ng parents niya, kailangang ungkat-ungkatin at ulit-ulitin, wag na.

Kung this will mean na maraming hindi makakaintindi sa akin or sasabihin, ijujudge ako, then let it be. I don’t mind. The world can judge me. I just want my son to be able to respect me and respect his father. Because at the end of the day, ang utang namin sa kanya. Kasi ang pinakamaaapektuhan ng pangyayaring ito ang anak ko. To a certain extent, of course, it will affect Josh but it’s really Baby James who will really be affected.

And maybe, yung sinasabi ng mom ko sa akin parati na ‘Krissy, love is bringing out the best in each other.’ Maybe Baby James is really bringing out the best in me. And that’s it, Boy. I really hope they understand that this is for my son.

BOY: Naiintindihan ko. Maraming salamat, Krissy.